tarot and psychology

Coming Back Out On Top

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Today’s meditation was skipped because the girls would just NOT leave me the fuck ALONE today.  I don’t know what it is but there are just some days where they can’t seem to leave me be for even a few minutes. I’m not in the room with them which means I’m missing and alone and they just can’t help but come find me and bug me.  With Luna, this is accepted and she will find somewhere quiet to sit and wait.  The girls? Not so much.

Romantic Tarot and Thera-Pets CardsToday’s draw is the Page of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of slow but steady progress in finding ways to improve one’s financial situation, resources and home life, or health.

I really like this representation of the Page of Coins (Pentacles) as what I see here is someone that is down on their luck but proactively working towards bettering their situation.  This is not an aspect of the Page of Coins that you often see depicted in deck imagery.

When combined with the words on the Thera-Pets card, the message here has to do with resilency and in picking yourself up after you are knocked down.

Lately I’ve been dealing with a pretty deep depressive episode, and it’s been a real struggle.  I found the bottom of that deep, dark pit and I landed there and lingered for about two days.  Then, I have begun to climb once more.  The meaning in these cards is that I’ve survived this before, I know the way forward, and I will climb back out again.  I will heal and recover and move forward.  The climb might be hard, and take time, but I’m strong enough and capable enough to make the journey and come back out on top once more.

DECK USED:  ROMANTIC TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question:  What should I give closure to before February 27th (Full Moon)?

Fifth Spirit Tarot

 Reading Summary: The ups and downs in your life (Wheel of Fortune) are not something to feel victimized by (Justice Rx) so don’t give up the good fight (Seven of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  Again we see reference here to the struggle I am going through with my depression, but this also goes beyond that to my worries about my business and the Canadian side of things. It’s important to remember that the situations that we find ourselves in at this moment when the world is turned upside down are not situations against us personally.  They are situations we must deal with and survive, adapt to and work around… but they are not directed at us.

The cards here are a reminder that this is not a time to play victim, but rather a time to stand up and keep fighting for what you believe in, what you want, and what is right for (and important to) you.

DECK USED:  FIFTH SPIRIT TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question:   Where in my life do I need to set healthier boundaries?

Romantic TarotReading Summary: Know where your bread is buttered (Ten of Cups) and where it’s not (Eight of Cups).  Take that knowledge forward with you to discover (Page of Swords) what really makes life worth living (imagery in the Eight of Coins).

Okay so, I just have to say… the imagery in the Eight of Cups in this deck reminds me of that line in the Semisonic song “Closing Time” that says “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here”.

Take Away: This is about choosing wisely where you invest your energy and time.  Instead of pushing to do everything, set better boundaries for yourself that create the opportunity for you to be more discerning.  Invest that time, energy, and talent that you have in those things that bring you comfort and joy.

DECK USED:  ROMANTIC TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Today is the first day of my week off of work.  Not that I’m not still working at the farm, mind you, but I’m not working for the home business for the next handful of days.  I tried to take time off in January, but I think that I was still “coming down” off all the adrenaline, endorphins, and dopamine of the whole holiday rush thing and the vacation time just didn’t do as much for me as it otherwise could have.  Not that I didn’t need it then, but… yeah.   So all of the shops are on a shipping delay for the week and I’m taking time off.  I also soaked in the bathtub today.

Abandoning Negative Narratives

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Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation through the Calm app without the interval timer as I did not do my piriformis stretches during my meditation today.

The focus of today’s meditation was about self-kindness and self-care.  It was about making sure that you are treating yourself as good as you treat others, and giving yourself the same forgiveness and understanding that you offer to others on a daily basis.

This is a topic that I struggle with, and every day I work hard to minimize my inner negative narrative that is vicious and cruel, and allow myself more kindness, forgiveness, and understanding.   Sometimes it is easier than others, and other times it feels nearly impossible.  But, I think an important thing to remember is that I keep trying… and I will continue to keep trying.

Elemental Power Tarot and Thera-Pets CardsToday’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of moving on due to a sense of dissatisfaction or disappointment.  This is the “fuck it, I’m leaving” card, and is about abandoning that which is not working for you in pursuit of something that will.

Gideon has given me these super cute Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal Cards recently as a “just because” gift, and I am going to be using them in conjunction with my daily draw for the next little while.  I plan to go through the entire deck, so it should take about two months.

The combination of the “abandoning what doesn’t work” from the Eight of Cups joined with the words on the Thera-Pets card for the day speak of a message concerning abandoning what is hurting me and dragging me down.  This is my inner voice, which during my depression has been furtively pervasive, sneaking around behind the scenes and whispering incessantly in my ear.

These cards combined are a reminder to keep working at moving away from that negative voice.  Keep working on fostering optimism in order to move my emotional state, and with it my perception of my own personal values, into a better place.

DECK USED:  ELEMENTAL POWER TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Radical Love Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Rooting
Question: How can better I follow through on making more time in my life for rooting?

Tarocco Sopraffino Anima Antiqua

Reading Summary: Do it when you feel the need (Eight of Cups), and when you feel conflicted (Five of Wands) and are in need calm (Temperance). Don’t hesitate and wait for better timing (Knight of Coins Rx). Just do it as it will ground you and make you feel better (Four of Wands).

Reading Note: Okay so, “rooting” to me means something very specific that it might not mean the same to other people. Essentially rooting to me means lying down in the forest and feeling the “roots” of my energy dig into the soil while the “tree” of my energy stretches above. This is a meditative exercise that is highly immersive, and usually takes a good deal of time.

Take Away:  The advice here is to allow these things (feeling the need/feeling conflicted/etc) to be the trigger that pushes me to go do your rooting.  Instead of resisting that need and putting it off until it’s convenient, it’s about doing it and getting it done.  Stop resisting and help yourself feel better.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO SOPRAFFINO ANIMA ANTIQUA

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I be a better friend to those closest to me at this time?

Reading Summary: Keep in mind (Ace of Swords) and be proactive about fostering (Knight of Pentacles) what is needed to keep them happy and healthy (The Sun) as you move forward.

Take Away: This is about thinking un-selfishly.  It’s about making sure you are paying attention to what they enjoy and what they like, and being proactive about encouraging those things in them and supporting their pursuit of those things.

This isn’t you actually providing these things that bring them joy, but rather supporting them as they go after those things themselves.

DECK USED:  ELEMENTAL POWER TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I got tags added to a basket full of swaddled decks.   Beside keeping track of each swaddle’s color and design in my decks spreadsheet, I also print off “tags” (little 2″ x 1″ pieces of thick cardstock) that have the title of the deck on it and then I slip it into the pocket of the deck’s swaddle.  This makes confirming that I’ve grabbed the right deck much easier as I don’t have to unwrap the deck, just pull out the tag and look at it.   I’ve had a whole stack of tags piling up for some time, and a whole basket of swaddled decks that needed the tags added to them as a result.  It felt really good to get all the tags done and the decks put away in their respective spots as a result.

Ignoring the Good Stuff

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IMG_9322Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation from the Calm app. There was no interval timer because I did not do my piriformis stretches today.

The focus of today’s meditation was on using your own actions to make the world a better place.  It spoke on something that I believe really strongly in, which is that it isn’t through massive acts of generosity or goodness that makes the biggest difference in the world, but rather it is those that consistently practice small acts of kindness and positivity.

Sometimes?  A smile is enough to lift what feels like the weight of the world off a stranger’s shoulders, allowing that smile to spread from you to them… and from them to others.  Sometimes allowing someone to step in front of you in line at the store is enough to lighten a stranger’s heart enough that they then in small ways lighten the hearts of others throughout the day. By being a good person, you encourage others to do the same, and they then encourage others as well.

Paulina Tarot - Five of CupsToday’s draw is the Five of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the Five of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of disillusionment, apathy, pessimism, and regret.   It is about feelings that go beyond the detachment of the Four of Cups and slip into true feelings of disappointment of one form or another.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the little beetle creature offering the figure it’s sphere. The tilt of the head and down-slope of what appears to be ears makes the impression of imploring the figure to please take what is offered and the hope it will please them.

And yet the figure turns away from even this heartfelt offer, focusing instead upon what has been spilled upon the floor to the point that nothing else can break through to lift their spirits.

Like the COTD from the other day, this is a reminder not to focus on the little stuff and let it ruin the big picture.  It can if you let it. Something as small as a sliver or a hangnail can decimate a spectacularly beautiful day… if you let it.  So don’t let it.

DECK USED:  PAULINA TAROT

LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question:  What can I do today that will help my future self?

Mesquite Tarot

 Reading Summary: Take things on from the long term perspective (The Hanged One) of being able to look back upon yourself and your life later on (Judgement) with pride and a sense of accomplishment (Leader of Cups).

Take Away:  The fact that this reading ends in the Leader of Cups here indicates that what is being said here is a need to focus on what makes me happy and not just what I can accomplish or be good at or succeed at.  It’s a reminder that success comes in many different forms, and I need to make sure whatever form I chase, it’s one that provides emotional satisfaction.

DECK USED:  MESQUITE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question:  Where does your self-worth come from?

Paulina TarotReading Summary: Going through the gamut of changes (Death), uncertainties (The Moon), and choices (Seven of Cups) in life has built up my self-worth over time.

Take Away: It’s about experience and learning what you can handle, survive, move on from, and make work.  Sometimes life has felt like it’s going to break me. Tear me down and toss me into the trash.  And yet, I rise from these challenges due to the choices I have made.  Changes happen, fear happens, but it’s where you go from there that really matters. 

DECK USED:  PAULINA TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I am still feeling really good about my decision to change going to the post office to today instead of Friday. Although I did run into a few problems while I was out that way, it was not as harrowing as I felt it might have been and now that I’m back home again, I feel this huge sense of relief and comfort that it’s done.

It’s In Your Head

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Today’s meditation was skipped again.  I know that I should be doing my meditation because I’m having a bit of an issue with my anxiety, and yet the anxiety seems to make it so that it’s nearly impossible for me to even consider doing the meditation.   I need to buckle down and just do it.

Nano Starseeds Tarot - Nine of SwordsToday’s draw is the Nine of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of themes that have to do with nightmares, anxiety, stress, and insomnia.

What stands out to me in this card’s imagery today is that I have absolutely NO idea what the pop culture references are in this card.  I know the figure and the dog are dressed up as something, but I’m completely lost on the reference.

It’s in that cluelessness that the message lies, because like with most anxiety and stress, my current issues with anxiety reside in the unknown.  Something is coming, I know it’s coming.  I can feel that it’s coming…. but I don’t know what.  I have clues and ideas what it may be, but no specifics.

The reminder in the Nine of Swords is that anxiety is a part of the mind. It’s not some weird physical ailment inflicted upon you out of nowhere, but rather is a physical manifestation of what is going on in your brain, whether it’s in the conscious mind or the subconscious one.   I need to do what I can to calm my mind, and my nerves and anxiety will then follow.   In other words… the message in today’s card is to get off my ass and start doing my daily meditation again.

DECK USED:  NANO STARSEEDS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I continue to learn from my life’s struggles?

Broken Mirror Tarot 4th Edition

Reading Summary:  It’s important to evaluate what it is you value most (Nine of Coins) instead of trying to defend everything you do and don’t value as a whole (Nine of Wands), because you can’t take it all with you (Six of Swords).

Take Away:  One of the purposes of my struggles in life is to learn that you “can’t take it all with you” and so you need to choose those things that are most important to you to defend and protect.  Without this sense of discernment, it’s too easy to become overwhelmed crack under the weight of too much responsibility.

DECK USED:  BROKEN MIRROR TAROT 4TH EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I better handle and/or respond to criticism?

Nano Starseeds TarotHow can I better handle criticism?

Six of Wands and Ten of Swords – Remember that although we all want to feel as if we are appreciated and have our accomplishments lauded, criticism (both the constructive kind and not) can help us to find a better way of doing things than what we’re already doing.  It hurts… it can hurt a lot.  But, it also gives us an opportunity to learn and try again… and do better the next time around.

How can I better respond to criticism?

Strength Rx and Nine of Coins – Let it go and instead focus upon the good stuff in life.  Sometimes criticism hurts, even the constructive kind, and it’s important to be able to let that go and take value where you can get it then apply that to your own life to make your own “coins” shine even brighter.  At other times, useless criticism can be the most venomous of all, and you can use those good things involved to help you let go of the pain and focus on what really matters.

DECK USED:  NANO STARSEEDS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I made the decision to change my trip to the post office from Friday to tomorrow to help confront that oncoming “bad news” I feel is coming and get it over with (or maybe… just maybe… manage to avoid it all together).

Morning Bonus Read – The Soul’s Spread

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The Soul's Spread - Rusted Lenormand

1. What I should Silence of my Past?

Cross – The pain and emotional burdens of what has been placed upon me by others.  I bear many negative emotions and an intense amount of negative inner narrative that was birthed out of my past.  It’s time to begin more actively working on silencing those inner narratives and emotions spawned within my formative years.

2. What I should Silence of my Environment?

Lily – Again we are lead to themes of family legacy and those that can influence us from our past.  In my current environment the only person that currently fits this particular card is my mother and my aunt.  Both are quite toxic and the advice of the lily in this position is that I need to take what they say (to me and about me) with calm wisdom and a grain of salt.

3. What Fear I should Silence?

Broom – Being beaten down and “swept under the rug”. The Broom is also the Whip and speaks of self flagellation and punishment (among other things).  The fear here is about my inner voice that speaks of me being nothing ending up being true and a self fulfilling prophecy where it goes from a whisper in my mind to something others actually think and feel.  It is an irrational fear.

4. What Fear I should Listen To?

Letter –  Bad news is coming. My intuition has been screaming at me all week.  In fact, I’ve even changed some of my normal schedule to adjust to avoid a few things that I was then hoping might ease those feeling. It’s coming, and I need to be prepared for it.  

5. What in my Environment I should Listen To?

Anchor – As this bad news mentioned above approaches (and eventually arrives) I need to make sure I am focusing upon my environment and keeping things balanced and stable through the disruption. Don’t allow everything to fall apart due to panic or uncertainty, but instead ground yourself and stay that way.

6. What I should Listen To from my Past?

Ship – Keep in mind how I have handled difficulties in the past in my travels up north to the post office. The issues coming feel like they are coming from that direction and the advice here is to pull on my experience with past encounters and experiences to help me through any issues I run across this time around.

7. My Soul’s Song (Inner Drive)?

Bouquet – Remember what lies beyond this week.  Vacation is coming.  Time off is coming.  This is good news and well needed, and will give you the opportunity to relax and enjoy yourself for a bit.  Allow thoughts of this to lighten your heart and give you something to look forward to on the other side of this week’s stresses and turmoil.

DECK USED:  RUSTED LENORMAND

On the Path of Emotional Growth

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Today’s meditation was skipped because I laid down to do it… and dozed off.   So, yeah.  it just didn’t end up done.  Perhaps before bed.

The Destiny Deck - Page of CupsToday’s draw is the Page of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the learning process embedded within the experience of creativity, the exploration of one’s emotions, and the possibilities that are born from curiosity.

Something I’ve found from working with this deck for a bit is that I don’t find it especially inspiring for intuitive reading.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful and I have clients that absolutely love it… it just doesn’t do much for me personally.

So… I will take the message from the card itself rather than anything that stands out to me in the imagery of the card.

Above all else? The Page of Cups resonates with me when I think of the emotional growth I’ve been going through over the past year.  The process of allowing my motions to breathe and exist, the learning of words to express them. and finding a way to be more open with others concerning my emotions… and open with myself about them.   This growth process has not been easy, but I look back and realize now that I’ve made progress… even as I have a long way further left to go.

DECK USED:  THE DESTINY DECK

The Radical Love Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Invisible wounds
Question: What invisible wounds help in feeding my depression?

Tarot Skrytých Světů

Reading Summary: I deal with a lot of conflict (Seven of Wands) dealing with the contrast between how I was taught to deal with the world and my responsibilities (Page of Swords), and the new path I have been working to establish (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  I’ve spent a long ass time treating myself like crap and beating myself up both as I push myself to do too much and then berating myself for not doing even more. The wounds from my past that taught me this way of doing things are still there, even as I try to turn things around and do them differently now.  These wounds help feed my depression, although are surely not the only thing that does.

DECK USED:  TAROT SKRYTÝCH SVĚTŮ (SHADOWSCAPES TAROT CZECH EDITION)

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

The Destiny DeckWhen walking along one’ s path
through the journey of life
we focus on the journey
and try to avoid strife.
But when it comes
we must rise to the challenge
and push back against those
that try to take vantage.
Through this process
we learn and grow
and the path we take
becomes our unique flow.

DECK USED:  THE DESTINY DECK

Daily Self Kindness

I allowed myself to let loose and drown today.  ❤️