playing card reading

Morning Bonus Read – Emotional Arrow

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Emotional Arrow Tarot Spread - Mermaid Cats Tarot

Emotion Addressed In This Reading:  An Irrational Sense of Overwhelm

1. SOURCE: What prompted this emotion? What lies at the root of it?

Five of Cups – Feelings of never enough / never good enough. This isn’t about social issues, which is its own beast and separate from this.  This is about never feeling as if anything you do is enough.  Not enough work, not enough effort, not enough quality, not enough perfection.  It spurs from the echo of your parent’s voice in your head always telling you that “you can do better”.  Get an A on a test… “you could do better, your penmanship is poor”.  Get straight A’s in school… “you could do more, why aren’t you playing sports or doing extracurriculars?”  It was never enough… never good enough.  And somehow, it is an echo that has continued to push you forward, and beat you down, years and years after having left that environment and influence.

2. IMPACT: How is this emotion affecting me now? How is it riding me?

Eight of Wands – Push. Push. Push. Push.  That feeling of never enough and never good enough pushes you to always strive for more.  More output.  More perfection. Just… more.  It’s not enough to make beautiful jewelry, it has to be perfect. It’s not enough to sell enough that you’re working the majority of every day’s hours, sell more.  Do more.  Make more.  Be better.  Always… no matter how much or how well you’re already doing.

3. NAVIGATION: How can I better harness, navigate, and channel it?

Two of Wands – Pick a direction. ONE direction.  Pick a focus. ONE focus.  Stop trying to do so much at once, and splitting your attention and your energy in so many directions at once. You can’t be in two places at once, and you only have two hands.  Choose that direction, that focus, and leave the other stuff behind to possibly take up at another time.

4. MESSAGE: What is this emotion trying to tell me?

Knight of Swords – You’re pushing too hard and it’s taking you in the wrong direction (cat on the card is facing the past).  All of this drive comes from an ugly place in your past and you need to work on moving forward, not backward.  That includes recognizing and letting go of these influences that are not healthy and only perpetuate self abuse through impulsivity and misplaced determination.

5. TARGET: Best outcome/goal of working constructively with emotion.

King of Pentacles – Stability. Surety. Ownership. Resolving the issues surrounding this motion can allow you to find a more grounded and secure foundation in the present.  This foundation then will influence all aspects of your life from your work to your home life and your feelings of security, providing a more comfortable and self assured outlook on your current life as well as future plans.

6a. OVERKILL: How does this emotion mislead me?

Six of Wands – This emotion and the history behind it that pushes it on misleads you by causing you to look outside your self for validation that you’re doing enough. No one else’s opinion on this topic matters. Only yours.  You can’t earn the approval from those parents in your past, now that you’re in the present.  That time is gone and there’s no one to judge how you do, what you do, or how much you do… except you.

6b. OVERKILL: How might it take me too far?

Page of Cups Rx – Taken too far, you lose your connection to your inner curiosity and creativity. You become beaten down by these judgements and start to feel like giving up.  There is no more joy, and with no joy you begin to lose your sense of curiosity.  Without that sense of curiosity to spark your creativity, that too begins to flag and falter.

Side Note:  I spoke to my shrink about these issues yesterday and she suggested trying to compartmentalize my past from my present.  To help me in remembering that the past is the past, a different chapter in a book… read and left behind.  I am in a new chapter now than I was then.  In doing this, she suggests that it might help me in letting go of those feelings of “not enough / not good enough” as well as the feelings concerning fear of scarcity.

DECK USED:  MERMAID CATS TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Boundaries

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week’s prompt is on the theme of boundaries. Let’s do some divination to better understand our boundaries, using Goldilocks reasoning.”

Johannes Brahms Composers Luxury Playing CardsIn what areas of life are my boundaries too hard (trying so hard to protect me that they end up injuring me or preventing growth)?

Myself – Three of Clubs – forcing people to stay at a distance so that I don’t get hurt. Expecting betrayal, and thus building my inner walls too hard and too deep so that nothing can get through to touch me.

Others – Six of Diamonds – Shutting people out so strenuously that they do not have the ability to get through to help me when I need help.

In what areas of life are my boundaries too soft (not being enforced, not clearly delineated where they need to be, etc)?

Myself – Jack of Spades – I don’t allow myself to move at slower pace when in the process of learning new skills or ideas. This means I take on too much instead of buckling down on one thing at a time.

Others – King of Spades – I take too much on myself instead of delegating more effectively. This allows people to take advantage and do less instead of standing up and doing their share.

In what areas of my life are my boundaries just right?

Myself – Jack of Hearts – Having slowed down on the pursuit of the things that interest me and that I want in life. It used to be I try to do everything and be everything, and get everything done all at once so that I could have all that I wanted in life as fast as possible. I’ve learned to better pace myself in those pursuits.

Others – King of Clubs – I allow myself to teach what I want to teach, and what is a passion to me, instead of just letting whatever others want to learn be the basis of what I am willing to share.

DECK USED:  JOHANNES BRAHMS COMPOSERS LUXURY PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Feeling the Feels

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Cheimonette Tarot

Feels I’m Feeling

The Devil  – Temptation to self destruct.  Anti-depressants are a massive help to keeping me well balanced, but they don’t resolve everything.  This temptation comes and goes.  Sometimes it is stronger than others.  This isn’t about death, but rather about turning my entire life upside down, and razing the entire thing and everything I’ve worked for and built to the ground. This temptation is sneaky… slipping in to try and nudge and whisper, insidious and conniving as it works to tempt me astray.

The World – Potential for the new and different. I can see it glimmering in the distance, that promise of something new and better, of growth and transition.  I see it and sense it, I want to push for it and seize it… but I know that’s not how this works.  Growth takes time.

Feels I’m Ignoring
Ace of Disks atop The Moon, Five of Disks

Financial uncertainty and scarcity issues. This is a very strong theme in my life, and a driving force of my motivation a great deal of the time.  It’s a fear that I struggle with, and have struggled with ever since my emancipation from my parents at sixteen.   I am, at this time, doing my best to accept that I’ve done well for myself.  That I’m comfortable and safe, and that everything is stable.  There is no need for this fear and no need for it to rule my life.  I’m working at not allowing it to have such a loud and overpowering voice in my life.

Feels I Need To Embrace

Two of Staves – Pick a direction. Stagnancy sucks. I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck and waffling. I understand the need to pick a direction and I feel that I’ve begun that process.  It’s just taking far longer than I’m comfortable with.

Nine of Cups – Gratitude directed toward the self and toward having put myself in a place where I now have the time and space to even do “the feels” at all.

Feels I Should Feel More Often

Death – Embracing change instead of fighting against it.  It’s so hard not to struggle against change or fall into the feelings of fear and uncertainty that change can bring rise to.   Not all change is bad, though.  And even the change that feels bad?  Sometimes turns out all the better for having happened. Embracing change is hard, but I’m working on doing so more and more.

Seven of Cups – Feeling empowered by my wealth of options instead of overwhelmed by them. This is a perspective change that I’m not always able to shift into.  I can see it.  That wealth of opportunity… but I can’t sometimes get my emotions to follow along with that positive perspective I can see.  So, it’s like I can see it, but not quite touch it.

Feels I should Share With Others

Six of Swords – Discuss with them the desire you have to change direction.

Ten of Cups – Share this adventure with them and make them a part of the whole.

DECK USED:  CHEIMONETTE TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Perspectives

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Sometimes an outside perspective is helpful. Do a divination reading about yourself from the perspective of someone else. Maybe ask a spirit or deity who cares for you what they see when they look at you.”

SINS Anima Playing CardsWhat do my spirit guides notice about my body?

Six of Hearts – You’re working at finding better harmony. This isn’t an easy task, but you’re slowly becoming more accepting and more kind to yourself, and at finding a way to balance your wants and desires with your body’s needs.

What do my spirit guides notice about my mind?

Ten of Clubs – Overloaded. So many plans and ideas, so much judgement of self, so much inner dialog getting in the way and making you feel overwhelmed even when you’re not actually being overburdened at all.

What do my spirit guides notice about my heart?

Two of Diamonds – Your heart knows where it wants to be rooted, but you’re playing tug of war with it. It’s not a weed, stop treating it like one.

What do my spirit guides notice about my soul?

Six of Diamonds – You are generous with giving of yourself. Sometimes too much so. You offer so much of yourself to others that at times it can be unhealthy for you.

What do my spirit guides notice about my life?

Two of Spades – Two paths before you and you are stuck at the crossroads.  That stagnant feeling you’ve been feeling lately is a sign of this crossroads and the internal struggle you’re going through in trying to “pick a lane”.

What do my spirit guides notice about my problems?

Four of Diamonds – Stop bracing for impact. It does no good and only holds you back. This is  a habit from your youth, and you don’t have to worry anymore about that second shoe dropping… or the first one for that matter.  Take a breath and relax.

What do my spirit guides notice about my general relationships?

Three of Spades – You’re always far too prepared to be disappointed by others. It’s okay to have a little faith in people and not be ready for them to rip your heart out.  It’s okay to not expect the worst.

What do my spirit guides notice about my relationship?

King of Spades – There is a great sense of security, and you know where you stand. You know that your advice and opinions are heard and valued, and that submissives really steer the ship. You know that his support is not a burden to him, even if logically from your perspective it feels like it should be.

What advice does my spirit guides have for me?

Queen of Spades – Own your forthright nature. Own the qualities that make you your mothers son. Your sense of values and moral compass will assure that you don’t follow in her footsteps. Instead, you will use these qualities for the good of others, instead of for your own selfish desires.

What warning do my spirit guides have for me?

Four of Hearts – Stop stalling when you need to get things done that you’re not enthusiastic about. Just get them done.

DECK USED:  SINS ANIMA PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Vision Check

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Use your preferred divination to ask the following questions. If you’re feeling extra, put the cards or tiles into a fun shape as you draw them.”

Jeu de 54 Cartes CarnavalsIn what areas of life is my vision clear?
Eight of Clubs and Eight of Hearts

I know what works for me and what doesn’t, and I’m not afraid to turn away from those things that don’t. My moral compass speaks from my gut and provides me the right path to tread upon.

This card brought about a realization for me that perhaps part of the struggle that I’ve been going through recently with letting go of a few old bad habits is that I’m not following my gut, but instead fighting against it.

In what areas of life is my vision blurry, blocked, or otherwise unclear?
King of Spades and King of Clubs

The desire and passion to steer my business in a certain direction is being blocked by a heavy dose of practicality and logic-based thinking. As much as I want to move things in that direction my brain keeps getting in the way of my creative spark and telling me that it’s not practical and I need to keep things the way that they are.

What factors, if any, are impacting my vision of things close to me?
Five of Spades and Six of Spades

Feeling conflicted about pushing forward along the same path that has always worked for me in the past and made I feel like I am a success. Or setting it aside and trying something else that may be better for me… but may also mean leaving behind the success I have achieved and starting over.

What factors, if any, are impacting my vision of things more distant from my present?

Four of Hearts – My view of the past is blocked by my feelings of the dejection, and a desire to have a stable emotional center that keeps me from looking at the turbulence of the past too closely.

Jack of Hearts – My view of the future is being impacted by my current emotional growth and desire to keep growing as I move forward.

DECK USED:  GRIMAUD’S JEU DE 54 CARTES CARNAVALS

Morning Bonus Read

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Anne of Green Gables Tarot - The MagicianJune 14 – Birth of the Muses
This card shows how our inspiration and creativity is manifesting.

The Magician – Naturally, with just a little push. Highs and lows are natural, but you have all that you need when you need it.  (Anne of Green Gables Tarot)

TV Series Tarot - Ten of SwordsJune 15 – Vestalia – An ancient Roman festival dedicated to Vesta, Goddess of the Hearth.
This card shows us our hearth, the fire at the center of our life and home, and how to tend it.

Ten of Swords – The belief that it is through the things in life that knock us to our knees that have the most profound effect on us and where we go from there. The belief that each pain is a growth spurt opportunity on our spiritual journey. A place where we fall, then pick ourselves up changed and move forward.  (TV Series Tarot)

David's Tarot - Two of WandsJune 16 – Night of Teardrop – Remembrance of the tears of Isis causing the Nile River to overflow.
This card shows what our emotions are telling us at this time.

Two of Wands Rx – struggling with direction and planning at the moment. You know where you want to go, but plotting a course is more of a struggle than expected. (David’s Tarot)

Vox Arcana Tarot - The HermitJune 17 – Goddess Juno – Celebrating the ancient Roman goddess for whom the month of June is named.
This card shows us an area of fertile growth in our lives.

The Hermit – Inner exploration and a better understanding of the self as a result.  (Vox Arcana Tarot)

Family Tarot - Knight of CupsJune 18 – Oak King – A dedication to the Oak King, who is now near the height of his power in his battle with the Holly King.
This card shows us our strength.

Knight of Cups – Going after what you need to be healthy and stable. It might take some time to get there sometimes, but you’re damn good at knowing what you need and not hesitating in moving that direction. Going at your own pace.  (Family Tarot)

Seawitch Tarot - Three of SwordsJune 19 – Scrying
In the tradition of scrying at the time of Midsummer, this card shows us a blessing to come.

Three of Swords – Disappointment is coming… But it’s going to be a blessing in disguise. Sometimes crappy shit happens in order to give you something better, so make sure you’re looking for the blessing even if your heart is hurting a bit at the time.  (Seawitch Tarot)

Botanica Tarot - Ten of Wands RxJune 20 – Summer Solstice
This card shows us how to shine our own light like the Sun.

Ten of Wands Rx – Stop overloading yourself so much with work, responsibilities, and obligations. You’ve been working on this, but you still have a long way to go.  (Botanica Tarot)

Dragon Tarot - Nine of SwordsJune 21 – Festival Strawberries
As the strawberries ripen, this card shows us the sweetness in our lives.

The Tower – sometimes when things fall apart it’s bittersweet and even painful. We try so hard to hold onto those things that are important to us during this time. But sometimes letting go is the only way, and when we do it opens us up to building something better sweeter than before.  (Playful Heart Tarot)

Playful Heart Tarot - The TowerJune 22 – Honey Moon
This card shows us how to release anxieties or worries, how to enjoy ourselves in this moment.

Four of Swords – Truly letting go and being able to enjoy the moment requires excepting that everyone needs time to rest and recover, even you. When you put your nose to the grind stone too often and for too long, you miss out on all the good stuff going on around you that you could be a part of.  (Vintage Flower Faeries Tarot)

Vintage Flower Fairies Tarot - Four of SwordsJune 23 – Saint John’s Eve
Like the herbs traditionally gathered on St John’s Eve, this card shows what protects or heals us.

Six of Cups (Buttercups) – Childish exuberance allows you to be lifted up out of the drag of depression and see the world in a lighter and more optimistic view. Don’t shut this out of your life for it not just heals you when you are struggling with that drag, but also protect you from it in the first place.  (Botanica Tarot)

Botanica Tarot - Six of CupsJune 24 – Guru Purnima – Indian festival of expressing gratitude to teachers.
This card reminds us to have gratitude for lessons and teachers as we move forward.

Nine of Swords – It is only through for confronting our demons that we learn how to deal with them and abolish them. Remember to show gratitude to those that help you in this quest.  (Dragon Tarot)

Connolly Tarot - Six of WandsJune 25 – Parvati Earth Mother
This card shows us how to ground ourselves and how to connect with the Earth’s abundance.

Six of Wands – Connect with the earth in the plants, and seek praise from them instead of from people. It is through your connection to the wild growing places that you will find your connection with the earth and her gifts, as well as that quiet still place of grounding within yourself.  (Connolly Tarot)