fortune teller

Morning Bonus Read – Negative Patterns

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“The very simplest, most basic premise of shadow work is that when our subconscious wants something different from our conscious, our conscious choices and magic are ineffective because they are being sabotaged by our unconscious. This book is pointing out that SOMETIMES (not always) when we see a repeating “negative” pattern in our lives, it is because that thing is fulfilling some subconscious desire. The only way forward is to drag that part of us out of the shadows and integrate or accept it so that we can consciously choose how to fulfill those desires instead of letting them drive our life. This is a very basic idea and there are obviously many facets to this, but this week, if you like, join me in exploring this most basic idea with one or more of these questions (or others if you so choose).”

Playing Politics 20/20 Vision Playing CardsAn area in your life with a recurring “negative” pattern.
Five of Diamonds

Scarcity issues. God fuck do I ever have scarcity issues.  It is a recurring problem in that it drives me constantly to try harder and do more, spurring my constant craving for security and stability to the point of near obsession.

What would I stand to lose if this negative pattern were to magically, suddenly disappear from my life?
Five of Spades

My fight. My push. As mentioned above, I use my scarcity issues as a motivational shove to get things done and stay on track with my plans, goals, and responsibilities.  Without those issues there to create drive, things like depressive episodes and mood swings as well as a variety of other situations and distractions would make staying focused on those goals and responsibilities nearly impossible.

What feeling does this negative pattern give me that I might, deep down, secretly enjoy?
Four of Spades

Exhaustion after a job well done. Honestly?  Burnout sucks ass, but it does occasionally create a perception of having done a lot and accomplished something.  Otherwise, why would you be so tired?

Am I experiencing pleasure in relation to the guilt I feel for having and using this negative pattern?
Seven of Clubs

Yes. I’m fighting the good fight… Or I feel like I’m fighting the good fight using this negative pattern as a weapon against laziness, failure, and distraction. It feels empowering.

If I let go of guilt about this negative pattern, What feeling would be left?
King of Clubs

More strength and security to support my business and my endeavors.  This last question was an interesting turn in perspective for me about this pattern of behavior.   So often my negative patterns and behaviors are things that I feel need to be resolved or healed.  Yet in this case, perhaps it is more about finding a balance of moderation instead.

DECK USED: PLAYING POLITICS 20/20 VISION PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Peaceful Tree

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Japanese Pattern Lenormand

Leaves: What feeds my soul?

Clouds – Challenges and struggle.  This is an odd card to see in the “feeds your soul” position until you consider the fact that it is only through challenges that we grow.  The things that create confusion and complications in life are the same things that facilitate our growth. Without them, life is stagnant and so are we.  This card is not just an answer to what feeds the soul, but a reminder to be grateful for each and every experience we have… even those that are confusing, challenging, or filled with hurdles and complications.

Branches: What direction do I need to grow?

Woman – This card recently came up in a different reading for a very similar question.  It is an indication that you need to tap into your softer side.  That sacred feminine side that everyone has within them that fosters energies of nurturing and warmth.  You spend too much time poking and prodding and shoving at yourself, pushing yourself to your limits and beyond without any mercy or kindness.  It’s time to grow in a direction that fosters a more supportive and nurturing energy in how you treat yourself as well as how you talk to yourself.

Trunk: What supports my well-being?

Clover – Over the past year you have been working really hard on injecting more positivity, optimism, and happiness into your life.  You’ve discovered that these efforts are not in vain, but assist in finding balance that allows you to continue to push toward your goals, but in far more healthy ways.  It’s important to continue this practice.  These influences created in small ways have a large impact over time, and are especially important when you are feeling your lowest and worst as they can help lift you up out of the darkness.

Roots: What anchors me in place?

Scythe – Cold hard logic. While you explore your emotions and they feel as if they are always out of control, always sliding this way and that, and always feeling just slightly outside of your understanding… cold hard logic is the anchor in the storm.  Just remember that you do not have to cut your emotions off or end your growth to use this logic to its fullest potential when an anchor is needed.

DECK USED:  JAPANESE PATTERN LENORMAND

Morning Bonus Read – Facing Reality

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In a post earlier this week, I briefly mentioned “spiritual bypassing” in the reading. I thought that today I’d do a spread on that topic.

Spiritual Bypassing is defined as a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.

Lua Lenormand - Facing Reality Tarot Spread

An aspect of reality that I’m avoiding.

Bear – Ugh… my finances. I mean it’s a good time to drop the ball, honestly, because I’m in the wake of the holiday rush, which means I have a bit of a cushion from any negative repercussions that not obsessing over my finances as usually could cause.  But still. It’s definitely an aspect of reality that I’ve been sticking my head in the sand about lately.

Why it’s important for me to stop avoiding this.

Ring – Because it’s important not to fall behind on my commitments.  I have a mortgage to keep up on and responsibilities to deal with that require me to stay on top of my finances and not let them go off on their own little way for too long without a guiding hand to keep them on track.

How I can accept this truth that I’ve been avoiding.

Book – Open up your bank website, log in, and do a little research.  Look into what’s going on and it will help you in getting your ass back into the groove it needs to be in.  Ignoring those various accounts is not going to do any good for you or your life.  Better to open your eyes and stay informed.

A way that this ties into my own spiritual bypassing.

Dog – You’re getting too comfortable.  You’re allowing your spiritual practices and methods to wrap you up in comfort and fool you into thinking “everything is okay”, instead of ensuring for yourself that all’s well and good.

A pattern of behavior I fall into during stress.

Anchor – See above in the previous answer. I pretend everything is grounded and good even when it’s not. I make others believe that all’s well when I’m actually struggling beneath the surface.

How I can become a better version of myself.

Lady – Tap into my softer side and allow it to show more often.  This card is about the sacred feminine energy that we all have within us, and allowing it to come out and be a part of the day to day rather than “sucking it up” and, in my father’s words, pushing myself to “be a man”.  Yuck

DECK USED:  LUA LENORMAD

Morning Bonus Read – Authority Issues

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I had to adjust this topic a bit (the original prompt is at the end of this post), as I do not have the urge to look to external sources of authority to tell me what to do. In fact, I have authority and control issues that cause me to rebel against such controlling behavior from other parties. The prompt mentioned that there are so many external authorities that there is a struggle in knowing who to listen to, etc. I have very few “authorities” over my actions… in fact even my employers are more collaborators than any form of authority figures.

SO… for this prompt. I am going to use the one single authority figure that -is- a part of my life, and with whom I have found a balance between authority and independence that works. That would be my partner, Gideon.

Cabinetarium Playing CardsWhere in my life do I benefit most from having an authority figure in my life?

Six of Spades atop Four of Diamonds – In helping me stay grounded and away from those things that are most harmful to me. I am self-destructive. Those tendencies sometimes rise up and whisper insidiously in my ear at the worst of times. Gideon is there in those times to help me stay on the right path, and does so in a way that doesn’t make me feel the searing sting of rebellion… such as when he made the request that I stop drinking.

Where could I use a better balance between his authority influences and my own need for independence?

Seven of Hearts – In my struggles to find balance and harmony by making the best choices for myself that I can. I need to consult with him more during these times when I am confronting these choices and get his input.  Not so much to give him the choice instead of me making it, but to make sure that I have his perspective and input on what the best choices available to me are.

How can I begin establishing that better balance?

Three of Clubs – Work more closely with him and I will be heading in the right direction.  I understood this from the card that previously came out concerning balance and his input. I need that input.  Sometimes? I really suck at turning to him when I need to.  It’s stupid and a part of those self destructive tendencies.

Why do I need this outside authoritative energy in my life?

Three of Diamonds – To counteract the poisonous influences of my upbringing by providing me with support.  It’s something I can’t do alone but needs to be worked on together.

How does this authority figure in my life influence my self-care?

Queen of Spades – He works with me and supports my self care goals by being “all in” with helping me to make them happen. He does not lord over me but works with me so I do not get my back up and rebel against that authority, making that authority less offensive in his approach.

DECK USED:  CABINETARIUM PLAYING CARDS

Original Diviner’s Den Prompt: This week it was brought to my attention that I have trouble trusting myself to make good self care decisions– I tend to try to find some kind of external authority to validate my decisions on how much I should work, eat, rest, exercise, etc. The problem with this is that… There are SO MANY external authorities. This may not be an issue for you– if not, feel free to ignore or adjust this topic as necessary. But I know I’m not alone in this— if you would like, join me in my shadow work this week around this topic.
-Who/what do I look to as an authority on my daily choices (food, exercise, rest, worries, self care, etc)?
-Is there a healthier place to look to for those choices?
-What resources would I need in order to better trust myself to make self care decisions?
-This week, what is one self care choice I can trust myself to make well?

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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Lenormand Oracle by Alexander Daniloff - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Ring – One of the heavy hitters in your life that guides you to make good decisions and always follow your inner compass is the responsibilities you carry and the commitments you have decided to take on.  Many times when you feel the need to let go and just stop, to curl up and step away, it’s these commitments and responsibilities that keep you on your path and moving forward.  The Ring card in this position indicates that this month is going to be one of those times.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Mice –  It is that anxiety and worry that helps keep me grounded in the first place.  The pressure of that nagging fear helps me to remember to ground and reach out for the support of others when I need it. The Mice card in this position is a reminder to not take for granted the crap ass shit that sometimes happens, because it’s only through trial and struggle that we grow and learn how to become better and stronger in the face of our fears in the future.

Star Wand: What accelerates your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Crossroads – Having options open to me to pursue and the autonomy to be able to go in the directions that your interests and intuition leads to accelerated growth of your powers of creativity, manifestation, and magic.  It’s when you are backed into a corner or forced into a single path without the ability to make your own choices that you become stifled and your growth stagnates.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Scythe – The universe is giving you the opportunity this month to practice your new, healthier methods of dealing with stress and discord.  Take this opportunity to cut out of your life those methods that are unhealthy and no longer working for you. Divorce yourself from these unhealthy methods, and instead pave the road forward with these newer methods you’ve been working on.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Dog – Lean on those you trust this month when you come upon unexpected challenges or difficult moments. Those in your life that you love, those that you trust and that are there for you through thick and thin, will be there for you now as well.   They are the added reinforcement you need when things are feeling out of whack and you’re struggling… so don’t forget that they’re there for you.  All you have to do is reach out for them.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Fox – That cunning creature within that makes sure everything gets done and cared for, and my responsibilities are being covered is rising up and strengthening as the month goes on. Sometimes the shit that you have to do to keep things running isn’t always fun or easy, but with a cunning mind and clever hands, you’ll make it through just fine.

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Anchor – You have the opportunity to further your stability through how you react and manage the trials and struggles this month. Stability is yours if you want it, but as the cards above in this spread have indicated, you’ll have to earn it through growth spurred on by what you learn through dealing with this month’s struggles and strife.

DECK USED:  LENORMAND ORACLE BY ALEXANDER DANILOFF

Morning Bonus Read – Year Ahead Star

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Welcome to the other side of the holidays! I sincerely hope you survived them mostly intact. Let’s take a moment this week to take a deep breath and look toward the new year with the following spread.”

Year Ahead Tarot Spread using Stars & Moons Playing Cards by Trendy Spirit

Sunset: Lessons from your previous year

Ace of Clubs – You can only handle so many new projects at once, and sometimes you have to leave a few of them on the back burner in order to focus on what’s more important.

I had a lot of projects I wanted to explore and get to last year that I didn’t manage to get to.  The wood burning, some new pendant designs, and a few other things were all planned to be worked on over the spring and summer.  Instead, I found my hands full to the brim with self care… and everything else had to be set aside.  I had to learn how to be okay with that and let go of the stress that tried to rise up in setting those things aside for later.

Horizon: What you can expect in the next year.

Ace of Spades – Lots of new and potentially successful ideas.

I need to remember to write these down because otherwise I will begin to feel overwhelmed by how many of them I want to pursue and the worry that I will forget about them before I get the opportunity to explore them.

Obstacle: A challenge you’ll face this year.

Jack of Spades – Reevaluation of and a re-learning of how you deal with your ambitions and ideas.

There’s only so much time in each day, and only so many days in each week. At one time I used to spend the majority of my energy pursuing as many projects and ideas as possible, constantly on the run and pushing for more.  And to be fair, it’s possible to obtain a lot of knowledge through this process… it can also wear you down until you’re nothing but a pencil nub with no eraser.  It’s time to continue the journey of learning a better way.

Strength: How to harness your inner power.

Five of Diamonds – Scarcity issues.  That feather in the imagery of the card is very fitting with this theme, as it so often feels like security and stability are tenuous things, and like one small shift, one slight breeze, will whisk all that has been gained away.

Scarcity issues are something I deal with a lot, and when the rise up into the forefront, I become a working demon.  I duck my head and find inner reserves that one wouldn’t believe exist, and plow forward until I resolve that issue.  This is not something sustainable all the time, but it is something I can use during times with extra inner strength is needed.

 Advice: Lessons you learned last year.

Nine of Clubs – You can only do so much. This is a repeat of the sunset position in that in the Nine of Clubs imagery we see a universe hanging by delicate tendrils from a controlling hand above it.  It is a reminder of how much you can control, and how much you can take on.   That “how much” does not include “everything.

I learned how important it is to choose my battles, my projects, and my responsibilities wisely.  I can’t take on the world, or even everything that I’d like to take on.  So it’s important to make good choices, and leave room for my own self care.  Everything falls apart if you overwhelm myself with too much and don’t give myself the self care that is needed.

Navigation: Guidance for the year ahead.

Eight of Hearts atop Eight of Clubs –  When something isn’t working for you, don’t stick around and hope that it will get better.  Get your ass out of there and find something better that will work instead.  No hesitation.  No doubts.  Just do it.

Sometimes, when something isn’t working for me, I do hesitate.  Either because I hope it will come around and change, or through some of the self-destructive urges that I’ve battled with all my life that can at times turn into flirting with self-defeating behavior (among other things).  The cards here are saying that a better tact in the year ahead is to simply move on and find something that works better right away.  Don’t linger or try to wait it out.

Clarity: Your personal theme for the year.

Jack of Clubs – You can do it! There is an unlimited amount of potential before you.  All you need to do is choose a direction to explore… and start exploring.

DECK USED:  STARS & MOONS PLAYING CARDS BY TRENDY SPIRIT