#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020

Healing the Past

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IMG_8005Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was accompanied by my regular interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

To be honest, I barely remember what the guided part of the meditation was about.  I wasn’t paying enough attention apparently, but then… that’s okay I think as long as I was meditating.

I vaguely remember it had something to do with self-competition.  But… I just don’t remember.  I liked the quote, though, so I included the graphic anyway.

Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan - Six of CupsToday’s draw is the Six of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of nostalgia and memories that lighten the heart and stir up fondness and emotion.

There’s a sweetness to this card’s traditional meaning that always makes my heart melt just a little bit.   Not that it always appears to hearken back to good memories, but just that the imagery is so often just… sweet.  And, this card is no different.

It’s probably not surprising that what stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the flowers.  The flowers in the cups look like Dianthus barbatus, which is a type of carnation.  One of the major meanings associated with carnations is healing, and in fact, tea made from carnations can be used to treat nervousness and anxiety, as well as fever, stomach aches, skin ailments when applied topically as well as an anti-inflammatory.

Right so I’m waxing poetic on carnations.  The thing is, it has many, many uses besides what I listed above, all of which are gentle healing uses.   And it is in that gentle healing that I find my message today.

The message of today’s card is about my past, and it’s about the harshness I’ve experienced in my past.  It’s a reminder that it’s okay to let go of these things and focus on the good instead.  It’s okay to find the good and let it help in healing the wounds that harshness inflicted on my inner self.  It’s time to take a breath and let go of these harsher experiences.

DECK USED:  WITCHES TAROT BY ELLEN DUGAN

#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What aspects of my life could benefit from some grounding and centering?

Goetia Tarot in Darkness

Reading Summary:   Finding those aspects of joy in the journey (The Sun) as you explore new ways to look at money and stability (Page of Pentacles). Remember that this shit takes time (Seven of Pentacles) and you need to hold fast instead of becoming impatient searching for another way (Six of Swords Rx).

Take Away: Impatience is definitely an issue for me, and one that I struggle with.  Not that I’m impatient with others, but with myself?  Absolutely.  The thing is, I keep seeing these glimmers of a new way to look at things and a new way to handle things…. glimmers that flicker in and out of the peripheral of my understanding.  I want them to come into focus NOW, even as I understand that this growth is going to take time.  The centering is in that understanding.  The grounding is in staying the course instead of giving up.

DECK USED:  GOETIA TAROT IN DARKNESS

Healthy Alone Time

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IMG_8001Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long, and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my stretches.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about being kind to yourself and others, even when you are struggling yourself, and how sometimes in the middle of our own struggles, we forget that there are others struggling must as much or even more so than we ourselves are.

The guided meditation was an encouragement to look upon others with compassion and understanding, and upon ourselves with the same.

Naked Heart Tarot - The HermitToday’s draw is the Hermit card, which is traditionally a representation of withdrawing from society and having some alone time.  In its upright position it is not about unhealthy alone time, though, but rather about healthy growth through self exploration and diving deep into your personal well-being, thoughts, and beliefs.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card today is (of course) the box turtle at the bottom of the card, but also the key that they owl is carrying.

The feeling I get from this key in relation to the turtle is that sometimes you have to spend time alone in order to really know yourself.  There’s just some parts of your psyche and self that cannot be unlocked when surrounded by others.

From my observation, a lot of the time when people struggle with being alone and having alone time, they are avoiding themselves and the things about themselves that they don’t want to explore, confront, or delve into. The message here today is to remember that alone time is meant to be healthy and for the purpose of unwinding tensions, self exploration, and growth.  If the alone time isn’t healthy… don’t do it.

DECK USED:  NAKED HEART TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Is it worse to fail at something or never attempt it in the first place?

Lumos x Nox Tarot

Reading Summary: By failing (Ten of Swords), you are allowed to then move on (Eight of Cups), grow and evolve (The World).

Take Away: It is worse to have never tried, than to try and fail.  When you never try, you remain stagnant and there is no progress and no growth.   By failing, it means you have tried, and it means you have learned something from the experience.  This new knowledge you have gained can then be taken forward with you into the future.  That then facilitates growth and whether you try again, or move on to something else, that growth and the lessons learned from failure remain with you to help guide you forward on to better things.

DECK USED:  LUMOS X NOX TAROT

We Are Not Born Wise

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Today’s meditation was done twice.  I did my morning meditation of ten minutes with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.  I then did a second meditation later in the day just before our Samhaim ritual started, in order to help ground and center myself for the ritual to come.  Both were needed and seemed to help a bit not just with grounding but with the low grade anxiety that’s been playing havoc with me for the past few days.

Madam Lydia Wilhelmina's Tarot - The HierophantToday’s draw is the Hierophant, which is traditionally interpreted as a religious or spiritual leader and/or institution with spiritual wisdom and the authority to lead others along traditional spiritual paths using their wisdom and experience. Conformity to traditions is a strong component as well in the traditional meaning of this card.

I connect very strongly with this card on many levels, although… conformity is not one of them.   I do not see conformity here in this card, which means it is one that connects for me even stronger than most.   What this card represents to me is guidance and wisdom.  It’s about teaching others to find their path… and about learning from others in ways that enhances your own path.   A teacher is no teacher at all if they are no longer open to learning as well, and in this imagery you see that he does not just hold a book of Jupiter.  Now whether this book is about the Roman god Jupiter, or the planet Jupiter is really irrelevant as it speaks to me of the fact that he is seeking knowledge.  You do not become knowledgeable and wise by sticking your head in the sand.

The message in this card’s appearance today is a reminder that exploration is a good thing. Never be afraid of failure, for even failures teach you something you didn’t know before, and all knowledge becomes valuable eventually… whether in sharing it with others, in expanding your wisdom, or both.

DECK USED:  MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Now is the time {card 1}, this is the hour {card 2}, this is the magick {card 3}, this is the power {card 4}.

Dead Waite Tarot

Now is the time {Judgement} to reign in your judgements and make sure that you are being kind to yourself and others. You do not need to be harsh or cruel to yourself to get where you want to go. 

This is the hour {Knight of Swords} to charge after your ambitions. Pick up that sword and focus on your target.  Stop being distracted by trivial shit that doesn’t matter and worries about things that have no foundation.

This is the magick {The Devil} that will get you not just the things that you need… but the things that you want as well.  Just like you can’t put food in your belly without success, neither can you can you feed your addictions without the success of your business. 

This is the power {Two of Cups} that will get you through. It’s not about sharing the work, but about coming together and supporting each other.  Yes, sharing the work is a part of that, but that’s not the part that needs to be stressed or focused on.  Focus on how they make you feel supported, and how you are after the same things.

DECK USED:  DEAD WAITE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this blue moon?

Ritual Abuse TarotReading Summary:  There is too much going on emotionally and you need to narrow down everything that is vying for your attention (Seven of Cups). Like an arrow poised to be set loose, find your direction and bear down on it (Two of Wands) while making sure to take care of yourself so that you stay healthy along the way (The Empress).

Take Away:  I need to set aside distractions and focus on the direction I want the next couple of months to go on, and the self care that will allow me to carry through the next couple of months without falling apart or hurting myself (most likely through severe burnout).

DECK USED:  RITUAL ABUSE TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the “Trick” I should be wary of for the next year?  What is the “Treat” that is coming to me this year?

Terrestrial TarotWhat is the “Trick” I should be wary of for the coming year? 

Queen of Coins – Make sure that you are not allowing people to lean too heavily upon you or depend too much upon what you can provide for them on a material level.  Being supportive is one thing, but you aren’t a single parent raising children, so don’t put yourself in a position where you feel the onus of everything rests upon your shoulders alone.

What is the “Treat” that is coming to me in the coming year?

The Sun – There is a double meaning in the appearance of The Sun card here in this spread.   First is the traditional meaning of positivity, success, and fun.  After the holiday rush, I will be able to lean into learning how to embrace these things once more on a fully conscious level.

The second meaning in The Sun’s appearance echoes back to a reading I did on October 3rd, in which The Sun card (this specific sun card in this specific deck) came up as a representation of one of my spirit guides.  spiritual guide relationship that was indicated in a reading at the beginning of the month. Appearing again now, it is an indication that I will find myself developing a stronger relationship with this guide in the future.

DECK USED:  TERRESTRIAL TAROT

Accepting Comfort

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As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’ve fallen behind again and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 30th or not. So, like yesterday, I’ll leave this empty this time around as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Tarot of Haunted House - Queen of CupsToday’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, imagination, and intuition.  This often translates into a nurturing energy, personality, or person that has the ability to touch our emotions and soothe them, as well as bolster them.

What stands out to me the strongest in this imagery is the wings and the warm glow that the imagery holds.   The wings are soft and large.  They appear as if they would be too heavy for the woman in the image, and yet she holds them aloft without stress or strain.  They are all encompassing, stretching wide like arms seeking to embrace and hold, to provide comfort in the warm glow of the light that surrounds her.

The message in today’s card is about accepting comfort when it is offered.  We all need comfort sometimes, and it’s okay to sink into it instead of berating yourself for needing it or for accepting it.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Savor – Something good I should keep, or remember, for November.

Cute and Creepy Tarot

Reading Summary: Make sure you rest when you need to (Four of Swords), keep your true desires in mind when pushing forward (Knight of Cups), and don’t get yourself fall so deeply into the chaos that you end up flirting with burn out (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  With the holiday rush coming, all of the advice in these cards is specifically directed at the things I need to keep in mind for my self care during that chaotic time.  It’s important that I rest and give myself chances to recover from the work and the stress involved in the holiday rush.

Without that rest, my constant drive to keep going will take over and I will end up doing myself a good deal of harm… coming out the other side not just exhausted but in need of serious mending.  The center card is a reminder that I need to keep in mind what I really want, and don’t get so swept up in everything that I lose that focus.

DECK USED:  CUTE AND CREEPY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Grab a spread of your choice that you’ve been curious about… and give it a go!

Twisted Tarot Tales - Full Moon in Taurus Tarot Reading

How can I center myself during these unpredictable times?

Knight of Cups – Stay focused on what you want. I’ve been having a bit of an issue with focus lately, and in centering myself with a focus in mind, it will be help me hold onto that center more easily, and the focus as well, than trying to do them separately.

How can I bring more stability into my life?

Two of Cups – Connect with others, especially on an emotional level, and it will help you in finding more stability in your life.  It will also help when things fall into instability, as they will be able to see what’s going on and help lift you up, or at least slow the slide into deeper waters.

What do I value most and how does this influence my actions?

Three of Cups atop Rabid Raccoon – I value my family and those that are my chosen family, and the protection of them from others and/or events that might hurt them or steal them away.

Seven of Pentacles – This influences my actions by making sure that I make long-term plans that work to build a better future for all of us. I work to keep us together, and to grow our relationship and our lives in positive ways that foster that unity between us from one year to the next.

What changes am I being called to be a part of?

Six of Pentacles atop Page of Swords – I am being called to look at how I give to others and reevaluate the best ways forward in this area. Look for the differences between generosity and foolishness, and make adjustments that lean toward more logical choices rather than those driven by a sense of obligation.

DECK USED:  TWISTED TAROT TALES

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I embrace yesterday’s message for the next year?

The Cryptid Tarot

Reading Summary: Make sure that you’re taking in others perspectives and looking at things in a different way (The Hanged Man).  You can overcome the warning from  yesterday (Five of Swords), but to do so it will take making conscious choices that lead you away from the chain of events yesterday’s reading indicated. In other words, it’s not something you’ll fall into naturally.

Take Away:  The message yesterday was about overworking myself and turning into an asshole as a result.  The thing is? When I reach the cusp of burnout?  I do turn into an asshole.  I just don’t have patience anymore at that point.  Not for myself, or for anyone else.  Repercussions happen when you treat other people like shit, and I need to make a conscious effort to pull myself back from that path now, before I get to the point of no return.

The message here today is indicating I have the ability to do this, but I’m going to need to slow down and take some time to pay attention and listen to myself and others.  I need to seek out another path, and make the daily concentrated choice to then stay on that healthier path instead of falling into the old habits that have started to creep up and cause conflict.

DECK USED:  THE CRYPTID TAROT

The Whispers Are Lying

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I’ve fallen behind again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 29th or not.   So I’ll leave this empty this time around (and tomorrow too) as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Madam Lydia Wilhelmina's Tarot - Four of CoinsToday’s draw is Four of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of stability and security in reference to one’s finances, resources, and health.  It can also go to far at times and be a representation of greed and/or miserly behavior.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the footrest.  And honestly?  At what is only about two inches tall, I don’t really see it’s usefulness.  Thus, it feels like a wasteful expenditure, and points out my own judgements concerning money and spending.  Judgements that are almost always directed more towards myself than others.

The message here is twofold.  First, it is that I need to be less judgemental toward myself and my spending. The second part of the advice seems contradictory, but it is more a compliment.  It’s okay to spend, when you have the funds to do it. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do so wisely. Search for the best prices, find alternative sources, check around and see if you really need to have the brand name of something and not the generic.  All of these things are just smart shopping, and something to remember along the way.

DECK USED:  MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Treat – What can I treat myself with to conclude this magickal month?

Gothic Horror Tarot

Reading Summary: Patience (Seven of Pentacles) with the ups and downs (Wheel of Fortune) and time with Gideon (The Lovers) added in to help balance things out (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  As October draws to a close, to treat myself, now is a good time to spend some extra time with Gideon when it’s possible so that I don’t feel too overburdened by my responsibilities.  Also, I need to make sure that I’m treating myself and my business with patience.  Things are unusually slow the last two weeks.  Don’t panic, just keep yourself focused on where you want to go and accept that it takes time to get there.

DECK USED:  GOTHIC HORROR TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: The last harvest is upon us. What needs to be discarded from my life?

Halloween Spirit TarotReading Summary: Worrying about a bunch of shit (Nine of Swords) that you just can’t know right now (Eight of Swords). And a vein of cruelty and pessimism (King of Cups Rx) over finances and running my business (King of Pentacles).

Take Away: What ifs and predictive worrying has taken over a lot of my worrying lately as a whole, and it’s something I need to let go of.  The things I don’t know… the things I can’t know right now… they need to be left alone instead of constantly worried over.  All it does is fuck up my confidence and my sense of well-being.

The other issue mentioned here is an echo of my COTD above.  It’s a reminder that just because business is slow right now doesn’t mean it will continue to be, or that the holiday rush is fucked and thus my finances through the first part of next year are as well.  This pessimistic attitude is not helping anything and needs to be discarded along with the anxiety and worry that have taken up a large footprint in my mind lately.

DECK USED:  HALLOWEEN SPIRIT TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my Halloween message this year?

Tarot de Marseilles par Pole Ka

Reading Summary: Too much work (King of Wands decapitated), and too much bitchiness (Queen of Swords Rx) results in unpleasant repercussions (Justice).  Get your shit together (The Emperor’s glare).

Take Away:  Leave it to the Pole Ka to speak to me bluntly and without mercy.  Although, I think it’s something I need to hear in the tone that I need to hear it in.  I get a lot of what feels like conflicting guidance lately, and yet it’s not really all that conflicting at all, just my pessimism and cynicysm skewing it in that direction in my head.

The Emperor here in this spread is making it clear that I need to pull myself together and out of the tangled mess I’ve slid into the last week or two.  It’s time for clarity and control, not a tug of war and anxiety driven actions.

DECK USED:  TAROT DE MARSEILLES PAR POLE KA

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do spiritual moments impact me?

Trionfi della Luna

Reading Summary: Spiritual moments provide succor (The Lioness) and peace (The Bluebirds) to help calm the chaos (The Tower).

Take Away: Due primarily to my own inner dialogue and the self directed cruel streak that lives in my head, it can be really hard for me to find and accept nurturing comfort and peace in my life.  It’s not that I don’t want the good feelings, but more that somewhere inside I feel that I do not deserve them.  

When shit hits the fan, therefore, I’m left wanting to fold into myself and my wounds because I don’t feel deserving of the comfort or the peace and good emotions that others can provide me.  I think it is also why during those times my intuition can sometimes become muffled, and thus I need to work on allowing myself not just my spiritual moments but a connection to them and my intuition…. especially during “tower moments” when the world feels like it’s falling apart.

DECK USED:  TRIONFI DELLA LUNA

Not All “New” Ideas Are Good Ideas

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a quiet non-guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches. I really just needed a little peace, and I felt that the guided meditation, or even a bit of music, would feel like a bit too much over-stimulation.

Tarot of Haunted House - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which traditionally is a representation of new ideas, the beginning of educational pursuits, and ambition.

What stands out to me in this card is the position of the hand that is holding the knife. In this position, it is poised to press down and slice which indicates to me that this is a prime position for suicide.

Not all new ideas are good ideas.

When I was younger I had a whole lot of suicidal ideation. In fact… I had a whole lot of suicidal urges. It wasn’t just ideas and it wasn’t just daydreams and it wasn’t just thoughts. It was an overwhelming urge that visited me again and again, whether I was in the middle of a clinical depression or not. It was something my brain would just not let go of, a longing I couldn’t seem to release.

I’d like to say that love was the answer to this issue, but it wasn’t. Things really changed for me when Prozac came into my life in my 20s, and slowly but surely, the urges began to fade… and then the thoughts followed suit.

Now, as I’ve aged, I’ve come to realize that my life is precious. I want to live a long life, and I want to enjoy every minute of it. And when the end comes, I’m going to be sad about that. These are the realizations that came and developed over time once the suicidal ideation was finally moved out of the way.

I can’t say that the suicidal thoughts don’t come back… because they do. Prozac helps keep me balanced and level, but it doesn’t prevent the occasional major depressive episode from sneaking in. During those times the world looks a lot different and the urges to end my life come back, and I have to remind myself that the depression is only temporary and an illusion. What I’m feeling at those times is a lie.

Not all new ideas are good ideas.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Trick – What have I learned this month?

Grim Tarock

Reading Summary: This month I have learned that entertaining addictions (The Dark Lord) for too long leads to a deconstruction of stability and old values (The Tower).  But, you can counteract that with patience and moderation (Temperance) which then leads to reigning in chaos to your advantage (Nine of Citadels atop Knight of Chaos).

Take Away: This isn’t only about deck collecting, which I need to slow down on for a bit as it is a bit of a drain on the finances.  But there’s other addictions here too.  Issues with eating unhealthy foods, with retreating into myself, skipping my meditations, and not getting the time in nature and exercise I need.   All of these things boil down to the addictions and temptations that are, when allowed to go on too long unrestrained, unhealthy for me.  At the top of this list is my self destructive urge, as well, and that is also a problem as it’s what drives so many of my other bad habits and allowances towards excess.

Moderation (which I admit is not my strongest of skills) is the key to the whole mess, of course. With moderation, I can then get a reign on that chaos so ready to run out of control and bring it to heel and benefit me instead of becoming destructive.

DECK USED:  GRIM TAROCK

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Does one’s name influence the person they become?

Ludy Lescot TarotReading Summary: A name can absolutely be a factor in leading the way in one’s life (Eight of Cups), especially if someone is not secure in themselves and have stability in their life (Four of Wands). It’s something that we carry with us throughout our lives (The World). But ultimately, there is an uncountable number of factors that influence the people we become, and it’s just one of the many (Seven of Cups).

Take Away:  A person’s name can influence who they become, but it is only one in a vast number of influences that make up the whole of a person’s development, and a rather small influence at that as long as the person has a good foundation beneath their feet and a solid surroundings and home life to lean into so that such things don’t take up too much of their focus.

DECK USED:  LUDY LESCOT TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How do I nurture myself to strengthen my relationship with my Guides?

Curio Tarot

Reading Summary: Be kind with yourself (Queen of Cups), and pick a direction (Two of Wands) for your expertise to grow into (Eight of Pentacles). Keep hope alive in your head and heart, and work on your optimism (The Star).

Take Away:  Nurturing myself with kindness and working on my optimism are repeating themes in my cards, and things that I truly need repeated reminders to keep up on.  The center cards about picking a direction for my expertise to grow into is an interesting addition, and something I need to turn over in my mind for a bit.  It’s good advice, it’s just not something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about.  I’ve so long been a man of many skills that picking an expertise and a direction… even while making excellent sense? Feels weird to consider.

DECK USED:  CURIO TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What cards represent my spiritual best?

Da Brigh Black Tarot

Queen of Spheres – Grounded and deeply rooted within that grounding. Filled with creativity and nurturing manifestation, the need to create and bring to life those things that are only thoughts is in my soul whether it is through the growth of plants, artistic pursuits, or the creation of jewelry.

Justice – My need for balance and fairness is an integral part of my moral compass.  I know that life is not fair, but I also know that even if the only fairness in the world comes from me?  I’m going to do my best to instill a level of fairness and balance into my life and, when possible, the lives of others as well.  It is needed.

King of Swords – My knowledge is extensive and diverse, and I have the ability to inspire others to seek knowledge on what inspires their curiosity as well. Leading by example, I delve into any subject that draws my interest and my focus, and although I am willing to share that knowledge with others, I’m also very much interested in pushing others to explore on their own as well.

DECK USED:  DA BRIGH BLACK TAROT