Daily Focus

Finding Calm and Balance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3517Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused on how you find your center when in meditation, especially during trying times when meditation is hard to focus on in general.

A lot of meditation focuses upon the breath.  This is because the breath is very easy to focus on.   But sometimes, people have other things that are easier.  For me, although I keep my breath smooth and steady during meditation, what I really focus on the majority of the time is my solar plexus and the sensations going on in there.

This location is the seat of my intuition and my “soul” and so it is a very sensitive area that swirls with a variety of different sensations, emotions, and esoteric feelings.  It is the easiest place for me to focus.

In today’s meditation, you were encouraged to find that place that is easiest to focus upon, and remember to always come back to that place (whether it is the breath, or a part of the body… etc) when you begin to become distracted during your meditative practice… and outside of it when you are presented with chaos in day to day life.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is “Balancing the Brain” from the Healing Mantra Deck.  I’m not sure this is a good message for me, to be honest. At least not how it is phrased on the back of the card.

The concept of the card is good, though, which is to say that from reading the passage in the book, what the card is trying to express is that you do not have to sacrifice the self (or self care) in order to get things done that need to be done.

This message (as opposed to the first impression from the words on the card) is something that I relate to a lot more, as I often struggle with balancing the self (and self care) with my responsibilities and how much I pile on my plate.

The message here is in the imagery on the front side of the card.  The misty calming background and the three spheres.  It’s a reminder to seek out calm and balance in all things, and not let myself get so carried away with responsibilities that caring for myself starts to stray off to the wayside.

DECK USED:  HEALING MANTRA DECK

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: Root Cause (built off yesterday’s cards)

Marshmallow Marseilles Tarot

Reading Summary:  My “go get’em” (Knight of Wands) has been stolen (Seven of Swords) by a need for other self care (Empress).

Take Away:  This is pretty much what I said yesterday.  I went through chemotherapy and three surgeries with my “adventure” with cancer.  That stole away my ability to do the work I needed to do with respects to keeping my weight up… and probably also stole away some of my enthusiasm in that department as well. 

DECK USED:  MARSHMALLOW MARSEILLES TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What illusions or false impressions are holding me back?

The Rabbit Tarot

Reading Summary:  The feeling that I’m going to end up losing everything important to me (two left cards) is creating a lack of direction (center card) that can be addressed by allowing myself to open up even more to new perspectives and take the time to really reflect on those perspectives as I receive them (two right cards).

Take Away:  I am always interested in new perspectives and I find it the most positive way for me to learn about people as a whole.  The cards indicate that what’s holding me back is that I’m still falling into a bit of a catastrophic mindset… and if I want to defeat that I need to open up more to the perspectives of others that lift me up and allow myself to internalize their messages more.

DECK USED:  RABBIT TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What builds my confidence?

Isidore Tarot

Reading Summary:  New passion projects (Ace of Wands) that allow me not just to delve into a project but include other’s input into them (Three of Cups) as well, so that it becomes less about me and more about balancing into things the contribution from many (Six of Coins).

Take Away:  As much as I love my passions and projects, what really makes them special is when I can get input from others along the way.  Doing something completely on my own without that input is a little too much seclusion in the process, and the end result ends up with me I feeling a bit hesitant about offering the finished project for public consumption.

DECK USED:  ISIDORE TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I feel more grounded at this time?

IMG_3525

Reading Summary:  Nurture and validate your emotions and feelings of contentment (first two cards) and lean into the strength of your skills and abilities (center card) so that you can help yourself in lifting up your optimism instead of allowing it to be smothered by bad habits (last two cards).

Take Away:  The path to finding a better level of grounding at this time is to foster optimism with in myself.  This is not my strong suit by any means, and the cards have given me a path to finding that optimism by making sure I am being nurturing and validating to my emotions and focusing on the things that allow me to feel content and happy.  One of the ways to do that is to make sure I’m leaning into the skills and abilities that I have confidence in.

DECK USED:  RABBIT TAROT

 

Finding the Calm

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3496Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon finding calm in the midst of chaos, and how mindfulness and meditation can help you in finding that calm.

Mindfulness meditation is, at its very core, a way to train your brain.  People that let their thoughts and worries run away with them, or suffer from anxiety, or have a hard time getting their brain to just shut up…. mindfulness meditation is the exercise and training that can help in overcoming these issues, because it essentially trains you to find that calm and quiet place.

It isn’t about “doing it right” or being “good at it”.  Just the act of trying helps start that training process and gives your brain the exercise it needs to begin learning how to find that calm.  I didn’t understand this when I first started mindfulness meditations, but I get it now.

I’m far from “perfect” at being calm and silent and still and not allowing thoughts to intrude in my meditation…. but I am absolutely flawless at now *catching* myself when that happens and doing the mental “push up” of returning back to silent calm.  Sometimes, I have to do that mental “push up” countless times in those ten minutes or so that I meditate for.  Sometimes, I only have to do it once or twice.   But the fact is?  I’m still doing it… and that’s what counts.

Queen of Brine - Queen of Cups - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Queen of Brine (Queen of Cups) which is typically interpreted as a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of relationships and emotions.

What I see in the imagery of today’s card is the abundance of motion that swirls around the center figure.  So much life and so much chaos, and yet she is calm and steady amidst it all.

The message here is an echo of what I’ve written above concerning meditation and finding that inner calm.   Sometimes you get swept up in the chaos of life, but it’s important to take the time to pause and touch upon that inner source of calm.  It’s there, but sometimes we have to teach ourselves how to reach for it… and remember to then do so when we need it.

The message here in today’s card is a reminder to do my meditation and put my all into it instead of just going through the motions. Being dedicated to the task will strengthen the ability to more easily touch upon that calm when it is needed most.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: Current state of body.

ETA Tarot

Reading Summary: I want to get back to that place that I was at before (Six of Pentacles), but I’m having trouble fitting the changes into my life (Two of Pentacles) and so I am feeling quite stagnant and stuck in place (King of Cups).

Take Away:  I want to get back to that place that I was at before the cancer and chemotherapy upended everything. To do this, though, requires weight training combined with a specific diet heavy in protein and carbs.  At this time, I’m having trouble fitting the type of exercise I would need (not to mention the amount of food I would need to consume) into my life.  Because of this, I am feeling quite stagnant and stuck in place where my body is concerned.

DECK USED:  EMERGING TORONTO ARTISTS (ETA) TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What difficult truth about the human condition I am ignoring?

Shadowland TarotIntuitive Interpretation:  Most people crave love to the point that they’re willing to do damned near anything for it… but turn their back on it when it’s offered freely without them having to put in the effort to earn it or if it doesn’t live up to the ideal in their head.

Take Away:  I don’t actually have a whole lot of experience when it comes to matters of the heart and people trying to hand you their heart.  Just one, actually.   That said?  I do a good amount of observing of others and the read above from the cards seems pretty accurate.  I see truly amazing people offering their heart on their sleeves to others all the time and being turned away for what seem to be purely superficial reasons or simply because there was no challenge in getting that love. 

I see it, but I choose to ignore it. Because it is frustrating and flabbergasting to see it happen again and again, and yet those constantly turning their back on these offers complain about being alone and unloved. It is a pattern that becomes disheartening if observed and acknowledged too often.

DECK USED:  SHADOWLAND TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What takes my confidence away?

Universal Celtic Tarot

Reading Summary: When I find myself on uncertain footing stability wise and am not giving myself enough self care to keep things balanced.

Take Away:  Both the Ace and the Page are cards that indicating a beginning.  During these times when a new start is before me, there’s a feeling of uncertainty and newness that can set me off kilter, especially if that uncertainty and newness is in the area of my financial security and home stability.  The cards indicate that at those times, a little self nurturing can go a long way in bolstering my self confidence, but even then, the struggle is still present, just concealed a bit by a blanket of warmth.

DECK USED:  UNIVERSAL CELTIC TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to bring into my life to nourish my growth?

IMG_3507

Reading Summary:  Be less miserly (Four of Pentacles) with my praise (Six of Wands) and foster good feels (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  By finding ways to connect with others and foster their growth, I in turn foster my own growth.    I have noticed this lately in my interaction with others.  I feel a bit less awkward in interacting with others, and even seem to catch humor and jokes more often than I have in the past. This is emotional and social growth for me, which is pretty impressive in my opinion… especially concerning the amount of social awkwardness that I have spent the majority of my life experiencing.

DECK USED:  SHADOWLAND TAROT

 

 

 

Giving and Receiving

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3425Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon how it isn’t the goal you’re going after that you need to train your attention on, but rather the present moment and the journey in getting to that goal.

This is something that I personally struggle with and have to work on.  It’s something that I need a reminder about often, because I am one of those people that gets so focused upon their goal that they will shut out the present moment in their drive to get there.  Including putting myself through hell to get where I want to be.

A little reminder now and then helps me remember to lift my head up from its focus upon the carrot and take a look around, enjoy the fresh air and the scenery, and allow more into my perception than that dangling carrot I’m striving for.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is from the Healing Mantra Deck again, and is the “Inspiring Others” card.

The message of this card is twofold.

First, there is the part that I strive for with my interactions with others.  That is that I strive to empower others and help them in finding their own individual voice and path.  This is something I greatly enjoy and hold very near and dear to my heart.  Whether that help I provide comes through a brief comment that creates the spark of inspiration in another, or a deep heart to heart talk that brings about a new perspective or idea, or simply stating an opinion that rings true and right for someone else… all of these ways of touching people’s lives and helping them find their own perfect path make me very happy.

The second part of the message of this card is something that I am not as good at and need to work at.   That is… asking for help.   Allowing others to contribute to my path and my needs using their unique gifts.  It isn’t that I devalue the gifts of others so much as I feel as if I should be strong enough and capable enough not to need help.   That, I know, is unrealistic.  Everyone needs help from time to time, myself as well.  I just need to try a little harder to set aside that unrealistic expectation of myself… and actually ask.

DECK USED:  HEALING MANTRA DECK

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I use this opportunity towards positivity to take back control? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Cry Baby Tarot

Reading Summary:  Watch out for hints of a retreat in mood (The Sun) and foster myself with understanding and a nurturing energy (The Empress) rather than pushing myself relentlessly onward (King of Wands) to fight unwinnable battles (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  The cards over the past few days have indicated that what’s going on with me mentally at this time is an uplifting out of the quagmire of confusion and discomfort that I’ve been dealing with the last few months. These cards indicate if I want to continue this trend, I need to make sure I don’t allow myself to backslide… or allow myself to go the other direction and work myself ragged.  Instead, be kind to myself and realistically grounded with my goals.

DECK USED:  CRY BABY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1

Chrysalis TarotWhat do they need less of from me?:  Ups and downs and unpredictable behavior. I get it, and that’s okay.  I know that I lean on this person a lot for my emotional and mental health, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this causes a bit of a rollercoaster effect that can be a struggle from time to time to deal with. Especially on days like today when I’ve felt especially mercurial.

What do they need more of from me?:  More me time.  More us time.  More time spent together, and more time focused upon us and our relationship and the things we enjoy doing together. More time doing the stuff together that isn’t as pleasant too.  Just… more us.

What in the relationship is being neglected?: The subdrop.  Or rather, their role in the subdrop. Their role in keeping me afloat and inspired when I’m feeling at my crappiest and worst.  This isn’t that they are neglecting this role, but rather I am neglecting to accept their guidance and strength and the passion that they feel in helping me through this time when I am at my most tender and vulnerable…. and mercurial.

DECK USED:  CHRYSALIS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How would I describe my confidence?

Bunny Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: Look at all those swords.   My confidence is based in my intellect, my never-ending abundance of new ideas, and in my grounded ability to seek out what I need to keep things balanced and stable.

There is also an element here in the cards that speaks of the confidence I feel in my relationship with you.  In those times when my confidence isn’t at its best, it is that relationship and your guidance that bolsters me and carries me through.

DECK USED:  BUNNY TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How do I let go of what’s preventing my growth?

Chrysalis Tarot

Reading Summary:  By focusing on being kind to myself (The Empress) and setting aside distractions for a bit of “hibernation” away from the overload (Seven of Spirals Rx) in order to allow myself time to recover (Ten of Scrolls).

Take Away:  Kindness to myself and stepping away from overload are not really my strong suit… but, they are something that I know is needed and that I do try to work on. I do need constant reminders about it, which I get often both from you and from the cards.  Still.  I think I need to try a bit harder to let go of that constant, persistent need to do more… more… more. 

DECK USED:  CHRYSALIS TAROT

The Spill

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

IMG_3410Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long and focused upon finding your inner “home” within yourself.

The meditation reminded me of when I was little and when things were especially rough with my father and the man would make me cry or feel especially miserable, how I would curl into myself and had this mantra in my head that played over and over.

“I want to go home.”

The thing is?  I was home.  And yet those are the words that would repeat again and again when I was at the peak of being worked up and upset and crying.   “I want to go home. I want to go home.”

I didn’t understand what this really was about until a few years ago, when I realized that I no longer long for some illusive “home” and when I get upset I do not reach for some place else.  I reach for you.  I reach for myself.  I take comfort in these things and in the trees and the woods and the soil.

I found my home, even though I didn’t even realize I was looking for it.

Six of Brine - Six of Cups - Stolen Chlid TarotToday’s draw is the Six of Brine (aka Six of Cups) which is traditionally a representation of the feelings that emerge and bonds that form through history, memory, and reminiscing on the past.

What I see in this card today has nothing to do with traditional definitions, though.  It has to do with having an open heart instead of closing yourself off.  It has to do with vulnerability and the sharing of not just hopes and dreams but also one’s struggles and burdens.   I see this in the eruption of water from within the chest of the center figure.  That eruption turns into a maelstrom of emotion shared with all of the animals in the periphery.

The message here is that I need to let my vulnerability spill out.  I’m in subdrop and holding in those emotions and sensations is not going to help me get through this any faster or easier.  I need to allow myself to spill out and make a mess (with you, of course… not with everyone) so that I can breathe easy once more.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I continue that change towards the positive? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Lilli White Tarot

Reading Summary: Allow myself to jump over hurdles rather than focusing upon them (Eight of Wands).  Look forward and focus on your work (Eight of Pentacles), allow your inner strength to support you in these endeavors (Strength) and, when you need to take a little time for yourself?  Do it (The Hermit).

Take Away:  It’s okay to not feel guilty about needing a little alone time, especially when I’m being exposed to constant contact with others on a continuous basis with no end in sight for the moment.   I need a little bit of alone time to stay healthy both mentally and emotionally.  That’s okay.  The fox speaks of taking a leap over hurdles.  He moves forward, bounding over what lies in his path instead of focusing upon it and letting it get in the way.   The bee and the lion show me where my strengths lie, and where my focus is best spent.  Work on what I’m good at and creates a sense of well-being and progress… leave the rest for now.

DECK USED:  LILLI WHITE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Trolley Problem… Do you divert the course of nature and let one person die to save five strangers? Or let nature take its course and let five people die?

Maruco Animal TarotReading Summary: Despair no matter the choice (Five of Pentacles), followed by taking a moment to calm (Temperance), and then a moment of weighing choices to see if there is a way to save them all (Seven of Wands).  And then concede to my practical nature (King of Pentacles), shutting off my emotions (Four of Cups).

Take Away:  I pull the lever.  By a purely mathematical standpoint, the loss of one is better than the loss of five.  Thus, I would mitigate the damage by pulling the lever to divert the train away from the five and toward the one.

I found it interesting that the cards chose to take me through a tour of my mental and emotional reactions, prior to bearing down to the point.   This deck in particular seems to like to do that “in depth meandering” before getting down to the point.

Just as a side note… I posed this question as being that all six of those involved were strangers. It changes the balance if there’s someone I know and care about involved. I’m okay with that possibly making me a horrible person.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes me feel confident?

Considerate Cat Tarot

Reading Summary:  The knowledge that no matter the choices set before me (Seven of Cups) or the history I had to overcome (Six of Cups)…. the end comes eventually (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  My confidence in life comes from the fact that I have survived so much and I accept that pain is a part of life.  Each struggle and trial I go through, I know will come to an end eventually.  It might hurt to get there.  I might get knocked on my ass and battered and bloody along the way.  But eventually, the end will come and I’ll have a chance to pick my ass up and move forward from it, stronger for what I’ve survived and prepared to take what I’ve learned into the future and use that knowledge to do better.

DECK USED:  CONSIDERATE CAT TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What holds me back from reaching my fullest potential?

IMG_3417

Reading Summary: Sometimes I get distracted by what looks like the perfect solution (The World) when really it’s a false promise that (The Devil), when discovered, can send me into an emotional slump (Five of Cups).

Take Away:  I think this is probably true for everyone.  It’s that “grass is always greener” feeling or the “fear of missing out” feeling.  We all become distracted in this way from time to time.  The problem is with how I react to that distraction once I realize its foolishness.   Instead of accepting the setback and moving forward, my emotions get involved and I become down on myself and my choices.  That self abuse leads to a slow slide into a negativity pit that just ends up setting me back even further.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

Opening Up

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3398Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long, and focused upon a breathing activity that was very similar to a body scan.   That is to say that it actually was a body scan, but instead of just consciously checking in with each area of the body, the meditation involved using the breath to breathe in healing energy into each part of the body along the way, and then into the body as a whole once each part had been tended to individually.

I really enjoyed this, and the visualization of air swirling through the body part, one body part at a time, and pushing out discomfort and tension was very relaxing.  This is definitely a meditation that I will be practicing again, and perhaps take some more time at it without a guide along for the ride in the future.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is something a little different.   It’s from the Healing Mantra Deck, which is a meditation guidance deck.   Today’s card is the “Liberating Love” card, which is about opening your heart to both give and receive.

This card indicates that love is healing, and the guidebook provides a reminder that when opening your heart to receiving and forgiving feels tiresome and exhausting, it means that we do not feel safe enough to remain open, giving guidance on using your will to find the strength to open anyway, for it is in opening up to love where the healing lives… not in closing yourself off.

This is a good reminder to me today, as I’m on the cusp of a subdrop.  These drops make me feel extremely vulnerable, and it is my habit to close up when they come upon me.  But the truth is, it is only in staying open and allowing the love between us to help me through where real healing happens.

DECK USED:  HEALING MANTRA DECK

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: Root Cause (built off yesterday’s cards)

Fantastical Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  I have consciously made some choices lately (Eight of Swords) to focus on the positive (The Star) which is helping me in finding a better path through reflection as well as the rest I need at this time (Four of Swords).

Take Away:   Essentially?  Make good decisions and get good rest, and the whole world has an opportunity to look different… and better.  The state of mind was a positive shift, and these choices to allow myself more rest and a time of reflection combined with making a conscious choice to look for the positive is helping in lifting me up out of the smog for a breath of fresh air.

DECK USED:  FANTASTICAL CREATURES TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the most valuable thing I can do for others this month?

Mibramig Magical Tarot

Reading Summary:  Lift them up (Six of Wands) by helping them to look at things differently (Page of Swords) and make good choices for themselves (The Lovers).

Take Away:  Sometimes we all need to learn new ways to look at (and think about) the things that are weighing on our minds.  As the Ten of Swords grows into the Page, there is growth in finding new ways to move forward.  The cards indicate that the most valuable thing I can do for others this month is helping them feel better about themselves in their situation by encouraging that growth and helping them in finding the path forward that is right for them.

This is actually one of the ways that I very much enjoy interaction with others (as an introvert, I’m a little picky about social interaction) and it’s wonderful to hear from the cards that this endeavor is helpful and positive for others.

DECK USED: MIBRAMIG MAGICAL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I know about myself for sure?

Cosmic Tarot

Reading Summary:  I’m willing to walk away (Eight of Cups) from a sure thing (Nine of Cups) in order to go after something better (Queen of Wands).

Take Away:  I demonstrate this on a regular basis, but in one of the most obvious ways that this is true is in how I make my living.   I am three months from completing double science majors.  I could, with the grades I was pulling down and my natural affinity for those subjects, have taken any number of high paying jobs even without my degree.

I chose to go my own way instead.  I chose to enjoy my life, rather than spend it in an office or a laboratory or a classroom teaching others.  This isn’t because I couldn’t have done any of those things, or all of those things.  It’s because the learning burned bright within my passion and drive… but the actual careers? Left me cold. Instead, I chose to go after something that does kindle my spark of joy and passion and creation.  I started my own business and do my own thing.

Yes, my other part time jobs (or some of them anyway) were very much in the wheelhouse of my education and knowledge base… but they bring me joy because there is a lack of pressure, and an abundance of freedom to do my own thing and go my own way and help… on an individual level.  I enjoy that far more than some stuffy office or lab or classroom.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What opportunities are being presented to me this month?

IMG_3407

Reading Summary:  Overcoming my fear of the unknown (Two of Wands) and moving forward into a new beginning (The World) with self possession intact and a new understanding of my needs moving forward (Queen of Cups).

Take Away:  I feel like a lot of the uncertainty I’ve been feeling in the past few months is an emotional influence.  I’m so not used to my emotions being “out of the box” and able to influence… well, everything. The opportunity being presented to me this month is in starting on a journey that finally begins moving me away from that “holy crap fear” that comes with stepping out of the dark box I’d hid my emotions in and into the disorientation of the light… and moving past that blind moment of disorientation into somehwere more seated, comfortable, and assured.

DECK USED:  MIBRAMIG MAGICAL TAROT

Reflection and Foresight

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3384Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and again touched upon a topic that I’d touched on in my previous day’s post.   That is to say that the topic of today’s meditation was in altering how you look at the world and your life.

Again… I don’t think that this message is at all “tone deaf”.   Dying patients in hell hole conditions find a way to insert humor (and good humor) into their situation.  Destitute people without homes eating out of garbage cans find a way to insert humor (and good humor) into their situation.

People worse off than those complaining about this concept being “tone deaf” manage to insert humor (and good humor) into their situation.  It is not tone deaf to encourage people to do something that’s under their control to uplift themselves, no matter what their situation.

I, too, need to work on this.  But I think it’s very important to seek out that lighter perspective and work at maintaining it.  Yes, things are bad.  Really bad.  But allowing yourself (or myself) to sink deeper and deeper into a pit of anxiety and despair?  It’ll make things so much worse.  And so I’m going to do my best to take a breath and seek that lighter side, even if I’m not feeling like it.

Page of Zephyrs (aka Page of Swords) - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Page of Zephyrs (aka Page of Swords) which is traditionally a representation of an omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, ideas, intellect, and communication.

I often see Pages as the “learners” in the tarot, but what I see here is not learning but retreat in order to self soothe and reflect. Sometimes? In order to work through a problem or find the path forward, you need that time of reflection.  A time to consider your options and plan for what’s to come.

That’s what this the message of today’s card.  It is about what I need to be doing with my time right now.  That is to say, not pushing but planning.  Taking time to consider and re-evaluate my options, and those options that will be coming as things change in the future.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: Current state of mind.

White Sage Tarot

Reading Summary: Empowered (The Magician) and on the rise (The Sun) which is putting me in a good place to make some choices (Two of Swords) concerning how to balance self care into the equation (Empress).

Take Away: Over the past week or so I’ve felt a lightening slowly beginning in my mental health.  There was the fog that happened in January and the slow climb out of it through February, then the huge struggle and strife of changing life in March and having to find a way to let go of control without losing my mind in the process.  But as I’ve begun to find that balance and find a purpose and a focus, my mental health has begun to lift.  The cards are a reminder that while I am finding the light, I need to continue to take care of myself and make good choices towards that end.

DECK USED:  WHITE SAGE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the most valuable thing I can do for myself this month?

Pastel Rider Waite Smith Tarot

Reading Summary:  Don’t depend on the opinions of others (Three of Cups Rx). Work on healing your own self view (Ten of Swords) and finding contentment in how far you’ve come (Nine of Cups).

Take Away: This is actually an apt time for this to come up after the question in one of yesterday’s reads about how others perceive me and my worry over what might come up in the cards.  I was worried that when I drew the cards it would say that people saw me as a know it all.   And seriously?  I shouldn’t really be worrying about that at all.   I do my best to help people.  What is the point of having knowledge if you can’t share it to help others?

Anyway… this draw speaks to that fear and letting it go.  It’s more important how I feel about myself.  It’s what really matters and what I need to work on.

DECK USED:  PASTEL RIDER WAITE SMITH TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I find my confidence?

Forager's Daughter Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  At the moment, nearly everyone is looking for a hand up or a hand out.  That’s not unexpected considering what’s going on in the world right now.  Everyone needs a little help and there’s not a lot of places to for that help from.

These cards indicate that if I want to foster my confidence at this time, I need let go of my discomfort and shame in asking for help, and instead focus upon working on the unfinished business that I have sitting in the wings so that when the world starts to calm down I can bound forward into that new start all fresh and new and ready to go.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT