daily draw

You Don’t Have To Do It Alone

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220px-Fractal_treeToday’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on how one’s life and meditation practice is like a fractal.   I… didn’t really get it, to be honest.  I mean, I know what a fractal is.  Essentially it’s when you have a specific design/shape that is created out of identical shapes (see example picture).

My problem lies in how this applies to the relationship between meditation and daily life?  She did some explaining, but it didn’t make a lot of sense to me.

That said… I very much enjoyed the meditation’s method on focusing on the breath today, which was a step by step process of noticing where in the body you feel the breath, from nostrils to belly, and then as a whole throughout.

Today’s draw is the Six of Pentacles, which is a representation of harmony, cooperation, abundance, charity, and a cyclical balance of give and take in the area of finances, resources, and the material world.

Sometimes we are all on the giving end, and sometimes we all need to be on the receiving end, but in our journey through life this is truly more of a cycle.  Even the most wealthy sometimes need a helping hand, and even the poorest of the poor are able to give of themselves to others in need.

This card’s appearance today is a reminder to me that it’s okay to ask for help.  Sometimes I forget, and will struggle under the weight of trying to do everything myself and work it all out on my own.   That is a completely unrealistic mindset, and yet I return to it again and again.

Some of the aspects of my life that I find this most prevalent are in my business, in my self care, in my finances, and in my resources (such as my grocery/food supplies specifically).  It’s good (and in fact, important) to remember that there are venues out there to assist me in some of these areas when I struggle with them.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5

 

From Resentment to Gratitude

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and seventeen seconds, and was a simple body scan that started at the crown of the head and moved slowly through each body part, as well as the chakra associations involved with the center line of the body.

I often find that these types of meditations make it much easier for me to stay focused rather than catching myself in a constant tug of war between focusing on the breath and my mind beginning to wander.

All in all, I found the meditation very relaxing, although I’ve noticed that on a physical level I’ve been having some problems with my left hip just recently.  I’ll have to discuss it with physio/chiro doc when I go in next Tuesday.  It’s not the right side, so there’s no pins or rods or anything to worry about, but there’s definitely something going on on that side.

Today’s draw is the Three of Wands, which is a representation of growth, small gains and emerging progress, group efforts, and the realization of successes in the area of one’s passion, drive, and ambitions.

This card has shown up today to remind me to be nice, and grateful, for the help I have.  Specifically, in my business.   It is no accident that this card has appeared on the same day that my helper has come back from a week away.

As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve felt a little resentment lately about her presence in my home.  I don’t think that this has anything at all to do with her, but rather with the fact that I needed a little alone time and just wasn’t getting any.   Between L and J always being around, and the helper coming, and the housekeeper visits, I wasn’t really getting the alone time I need in order to stay balanced.

I realized this last night, and that along with seeking a more mindful and grateful mindset where she is concerned seems to have really helped.  I even taught her a new skill today.  Something that she can work on at home now and then when her school schedule is too strained to make it out this way as often as I’d like, or our schedules just won’t match up.    It meant sending some supplies home with her, but I’m okay with that in this case.

So there you have it.  Better use of that area of ‘group efforts’ and a more mindful, grateful attitude about her presence.

I love you.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5

Digging For the Roots

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on being mindful of how we treat those that are closest to us.  It discussed how it is those closest to us that sometimes get the brunt of our bad days or dismal moods.

The guided meditation then walked through a practice of mindfulness and gratitude, to assist in keeping in mind just how precious these people are in one’s life.

Today’s draw is the 2nd card in the Major Arcana, the High Priestess card.  As with all cards in the Major Arcana, this card does not deal with one singular aspect of the human experience, but rather with the “larger picture” and our journey along our life’s path.

The High Priestess card is a representation of intuition, spiritual knowledge, the subconscious, and divine feminine energy.  This card is a reminder not just to listen to your intuition, but to tune into your awareness of the yet to be discovered and the unknown.    She is a reminder that there is more at play in the world than what lies just upon the surface of our awareness.

This card’s appearance on a Self Care Saturday indicates that there are deeper motivations at work than what I perceive going on just on the surface.  I’ve been more tired than normal this week, and a bit reclusive from the world at large.  I even started resenting the presence of my helper a bit, which is ridiculous because 1) I’m PAYING her to be here and 2) she really does help me and my business.

Today I am being given a chance to get in touch with what’s going on beneath the surface and foster the temperance and tolerance, as well as the gratitude, that I need in order to move forward into the busy new week ahead.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5

 

A Peter Pan Kind of Day

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and eight seconds, and focused on shame and how to deal with shame so that you can move past it.

I do not really have a lot of experience with this particular emotion, despite my father’s insistence throughout my life that I should. There are times, of course, when I have felt guilty for hurting someone on accident, not making good choices, or occasionally from my mother’s machinations. But, I do not consider guilt to be shame, as I believe they are two very different monsters.

Regardless, I do believe that the way to deal with both of these is much the same, which is what is what was outlined in today’s guided meditation. This method is by approaching yourself with kindness and understanding in these moments, as guilt and shame both come from a place of harsh judgment inflicted upon the self.

Today’s draw is the Six of Cups, which is a representation of vitality, harmony, and cooperation in the area of emotions, creativity, intuition, and relationships.

The Six of Cups can often represent a youthful energy, and this is a part of the message that this card has for me today.

In my morning devotional this morning, part of my hopes for the day was to “enjoy the day to its fullest”. The appearance of this card is telling me that in order to do that I need to get in touch with my inner child and that fun vibrant spot inside of us all that is the birthplace of enthusiasm and joy.

This is also a mindful practice for me in living in the now instead of always pushing for the future.

Although I have a long drive ahead of me and much to do, I am going to strive to approach each task and challenge today from a mindset filled with the spark of joy and adventure, rather than one of responsibility and drudgery.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5

 

Sink Into It

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and nine seconds, and focused on the mindset of scarcity.   Struggling with a lack mentality is many times what causes people to overextend, overspend, over-commit, etc.    When in this mindset, always wanting more makes it difficult to be  happy and at peace.

This is a mentality that I personally struggle with quite a lot.  This and the fear of loss are the reasons that I work so much and push myself beyond my limits.  I fear losing my home.  I fear losing my security and comfort.   Having been in the situation where I was without so much, including a place to live for a while, it is what pushes me more than anything else.  And perhaps in some ways, these motivations are a good thing.

But, I DO understand that when that mindset of scarcity takes over, it can become problematic both to one’s physical health as well as mental health.

In the guided meditation, it speaks of a method to remove yourself from this mindset by focusing on gratitude rather than needs.   I think this is a really good message, and I have over the past few months really stepped up in my mindfulness concerning gratitude, although I’m not sure that it is helpful in my issues with scarcity, as gratitude can sometimes makes me feel like I want to hold on tighter to what I have.

This is an ongoing struggle for me and there is no resolution today, just a meandering wander through my thoughts on the matter.

Today’s draw is the 12th card in the Major Arcana, the Hanged Man.   This is a card that is near and dear to my heart, and one of my “deal breaker” cards for a deck.  (Meaning that if I don’t like the Hanged Man card in a deck, chances are very good I don’t and/or won’t want it.)   Like all cards in the Major Arcana, this card deals with one’s experiences as a whole and their journey on the path of life rather than just one aspect of that journey.

The Hanged Man is a representation of change in perspective, and taking a pause to look at something from all angles, as well as surrender and letting go.  In the Major Arcana, I view this card as the one that I most often relate to above all others, as it is the goal of looking at things from multiple perspectives that is one of the tenants of my life.  Life is not one dimensional, and although I may not agree with all view points, I very much want to be able to -see- them, understand them, and then decide for myself whether or not they “fit” for me or if I can take some greater understanding away from them.

The Hanged Man teaches, though, that sometimes in order to adjust your perspective, you must relax and sink into a receptive state of surrender.  If your walls are up, your mind and heart closed, then nothing is gained and nothing will change.  And that is very much a part of what the Hanged Man is all about… personal change.

That openness is the message in today’s card.  Early in the year, I was having a real problem with this.  With everything blocked and clogged up by the depression that slipped away with most of my spring, I remember feeling as if I was far more closed minded than I liked, and I very much disliked that in myself.   It’s not a mindset that I’m very familiar with, as although I am quite stubborn, I have a deep seated need to grasp other’s perspectives and it is one of the main ways in which I better relate to other people, as well as learn and grow.

I have found that lack of flexibility opening up in the months since the depression’s retreat, and the appearance of this card brings a conscious awareness to this aspect of the process of “getting back to myself”.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5

The Bunny Rabbit

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and six seconds, and focused on reflecting upon those that have contributed to your life and assisted you in both the small ways and large ones in getting you to where you are now.

It began with a moment’s reflection on yourself and a mindful moment of gratitude for who you are and what you have, then upon those that have influenced your life and your path.

I am one of those people who feel that there is absolutely nothing in my past that I would change.  I feel that even the bad things that have happened have assisted in my growth and development, creating the man I am today, the moral compass that resides in my head, heart, and gut, as well as the circumstances I find myself in, which could always have turned out much worse.

One different choice, one slight step to the left or the right, and things would have changed… and perhaps not for the better.   I am grateful for what I have and for every day I’ve experienced, and every step along my path.  Without them, I would not be me, and…. not to sound egocentric, but I like who I am.

This mindset made today’s meditation focus very easy for me, and it was both a comforting and relaxing session.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is a representation of…. loses his train of thought.

Bunny!

*Clearing his throat.*  Right, then.   The Queen of Pentacles is a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of the physical world, resources, finances, and earthly delights.

Geez.. I’m really stuck on the bunny today.  OK… the bunny.  Lets do this by intuition today, then.

When this card came up today, she looked like she was sleeping on her throne instead of looking down at the pentacle she holds.  And then the bunny popped out of the picture for me and I haven’t been able to get my mind off of it since.

A common theme in the symbolism of rabbits is fertility.  Obviously, we aren’t going to take this literal, as… hello.  Only one nut and absolutely no ovaries to be seen over here, even if I was playing hide the sausage, which I am so not even going there.  Other definitions of fertility, though, include creativity and abundance.  And here is where today’s Queen of Pentacles is leading.

x9ii0fy4

I made a diagram for you, man, cuz I knew you were going to ask.

From the rabbit combined with the napping queen on her throne, the message I get from today’s card is to realize that I have enough and let up a little bit.   I have plenty, and everything is moving along just fine.  There is no need to kill myself with work or worry.  Relax.  Rest.  Restore.  And, once refreshed, head back at it with a new sense of energy and creativity.

I hear you, little bunny.  Loud and clear.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5