How can I discover my true self?
Rider and Stork – Trust yourself and your ability to weather change like a champ. More often than not, you’re capable of seeing change coming long before it arrives. You already know yourself well enough to adapt without losing yourself in the shuffle, but by not ignoring what you see coming you can give yourself a bit of extra time to not get flustered and stay true to the path you want to be on and person you want to be.
What fears are holding me back from growth?
Letter and Lady – Ugh. Seriously? Okay so… yes. I have mommy issues. I fear the loss of my mother’s love and care, regardless of the fact that I’ve never really had all that much of it in the first place. I fear the painful and even cruel things she might say, and how much they would hurt to hear them from her.
I am not in any way, shape, or form, dishonest with her about who I am or what I do… but, there is a fear in me of losing what little… love there is from that corner somehow and I avoid her for this reason. This avoidance and the fear that it’s rooted in hold me back in my personal growth and are a theme of shadow work that I need to look at exploring in the future.
What external factors are holding me back?
Tower and Key – Yes… I also have authority issues. Although I am able to function around those issues for the most part, there are times when I struggle. Customs and border patrol agents, police officers, etc… these authority figures trigger my issues, especially if they are playing the “authoritarian” card in their interactions with me. It does hold me back, too, because once I’ve been triggered and my back is up, it becomes far less likely I’ll be able to deal with them in my normally unflappable-seeming manner… causing hold ups and delays that otherwise wouldn’t happen.
How have these internal and external factors hindered my growth?
Crossroads and Book – They can cause you to be shortsighted, and not be as observant on gathering as much information as is needed to develop past these issues.
What would it be like to release those fears?
Scythe and Garden – Less cutting inner narrative. Less fear of external cutting narratives. This would result in more confidence because these things would no longer be a deciding factor and would carry far less weight than they do now.
I forgot to do the self care card at the bottom. But, I did do a self care reading on Saturday.
Twisting the Leaf 