The Dark Fairytale Opens: What marks the prologue of your dark fairytale?
Scythe and Birds – Cruel comments and arguments, confrontations, disagreements with others, and other such communication struggles. This is an echo of my childhood, and the majority of my experiences with my father as I was growing up. These experiences are a part of the reason I am so very careful with my words, further exacerbated by a few similar issues later on in life when I’ve “fumbled” during an inopportune time and created a clusterfuck mess due to miscommunication.
The Curse: What imprisons you & torments you?
Crossroads – Often, when we have a variety of choices and the freedom to choose our path, it can feel like the generous grace of good fortune on our side. Other times? That same freedom and plethora of choices available to us can feel overwhelming. Right now I am in the latter state of mind, and instead of making choices and moving forward, I’m left at the crossroads spinning my wheels in the muck.
The Ghost: What haunts you and tortures you?
Anchor – From the lack of emotional stability provided through my childhood to the lack of stability in life that came after I left that environment, I now find myself in a constant state of scarcity. This is not reality, but rather an ever-present need for more stability and security.
Bramblewood: What are the dangers that surround you?
Child – I’m not sure if this is a perceived danger or a real one, but what I see in the Child card in this question is my fear that by being irresponsible or by having fun, that I can lose all that I hold dear. The the idea of being helpless is terrifying to me.
The Mirror: What is your deepest fear?
Book – This bleeds into the previous question, for it is through lack of knowledge that we are at our most helpless. That’s why children are protected. They haven’t learned all that they need to know yet, and thus their independence is sacrificed for safety while they learn what is needed to keep them safe. Although this is not something I express often, my deepest fear is loss of knowledge. My deepest fear is being an idiot. Helpless to take care of myself or “steer my own boat” due to lack of intellect needed for that simple goal.
The Sword of Truth: What will set you free from your dark fairytale?
Rider – Pursue what I want out of life. It is through energy, zeal, and a constant forward movement that I keep on top of my memory loss and cognition issues caused by the accident that damaged so much of my body over fifteen years ago. Gideon helps me with this a lot, taking me down memory lane again and again, helping me to remember what I lose, helping me strategize new ways to remember what I need to, and building new pathways through the threads of memories to knit them back together when they begin to fray.
Awaken from slumber (Part 1). What grounds you in your reality?
Woman – Those in my life that nurture me. L, Z, Gideon, J… all of these people are a part of my life in a way that is not just companionship, but also supportive. They care about me, care -for- me, and help remind me what is important.
Awaken from slumber (Part 2). What makes you invincible?
Moon – My intuition and the guidance of my spirit guides through my intuition’s voice. These skills create an extra layer of knowledge and guidance, assist me in seeing what is needed when I would otherwise be blind and unaware. Also encompassed here is my creativity, which then blends into my adaptability.
Twisting the Leaf 