The Dip in the Cycle

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was one of the harp strings meditations with interval timers.  I was right yesterday, when I said that I would be more sore today than usual after I upped my yoga/physio practice and extra stretching.  I think it was a good choice, though.  My body had become used to the normal routine, so it’s good to mix it up just a bit.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is The Fool card, which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of innocence and carefree enthusiasm.

The Fool is all about new beginnings, and what better symbol to use for The Fool that the Dandelion.  This is an herb that crops up seemingly on its own, and crops up… and crops up… and crops up.  It multiplies like crazy, flourishes again and again and has a life cycle that returns to be renewed over and over.

Metaphysically, the dandelion is about surviving through challenges and difficulties by rising above through the power of warmth, positivity and hope.

The message in today’s card is to reach for that positivity… reach for the optimism and the hope.  Remember that the subdrop, like all unpleasant moments of emotional upheaval, is just a phase in a cycle that is mostly good.  Almost all good.  But every cycle has to have a dip somewhere along the path.  It’s temporary, and you’ll be rolling back around to somewhere more positive soon enough.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Take For Myself / Give To Others

Aquarian TarotTake For Myself – Nine of Pentacles – You need alone time in which to enjoy the fruits of your labors without others around to distract or otherwise detract from the experience. There’s nothing wrong with this, so take that time when you need it.

Give to Others – Three of Cups Rx –  This fits in with the “take for myself” part of the reading, as it speaks of allowing others to go have their fun without me. You don’t need to be there for everything and you don’t really want to be even if you could.   So let go of the feeling of “slacking off” or “neglect” that comes up whenever you leave everyone to their own devices and go off on your own.

DECK USED:  AQUARIAN TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  practice // practice // practice

Minchiate Etruria Anima Antiqua

Aquarius and Three of Cups Rx – Practice at optimism. In the Minchiate Etruria, the Three of Cups is about a favorable turn of events, or an unusual and unexpected circumstance. The Aquarius is about having an open mind and open heart. Together, these two cards are an encouragement towards optimism, and making sure that you look for the positive opportunities presented through unexpected events.

Four of Staves – Practice at attuning to the “harmonious” coming together of different energies and forces.  Sometimes when things come together, they do so like pieces of a puzzle falling into place. Don’t take these moments for granted or let them to pass you by. Instead, pay attention and learn how to better identify when opportunities are presented through this union of harmonious energies.

House of the Devil (The Tower) – Practice trusting in things to balance themselves out when in the middle of chaos.  Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the moment and all the cacophony of sudden change.  It’s important during these times to remember that this shit is temporary.  It’s a shift.  Like an earthquake shifts the earth, and then the earth settles into a new configuration afterward.  So too does the calamity and chaos of change settle into a new configuration of reality.

DECK USED:  MINCHIATE ETRURIA ANIMA ANTIQUA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  When am I most creatively confident?

Student Tarot v4 Godard's Birds

Reading Summary:  When I actually make the choice (Two of Swords) to make the time for creative writing (imagery in the Six of Cups) with Gideon (The Lovers and The Empress).

Take Away: Gideon is expressed here by both the Lovers and the Empress, because he represents both of these themes to me at once.  He is my love, my choice, and my committment.  He is also my comfort and my encouragement.  He provide me these things along with his love and his support, while still fostering my own strength at the same time.

It makes sense, then, that when I am creating with him, it would be one of the times when I am at my most creative.  We create worlds together, lives together, stories together. We bounce ideas off of each other, and weave those ideas and our mutual creativity together into wondrous expressions of our emotions, our dedication, our passions, our desires, and our love for each other again and again.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT v4 GODARD’S BIRDS

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_4681Hidden

I am the one
concealed in the green
peering out
to watch
from dappled shadows
and swaying fronds.
I am the one
that sees you.
That secret wild you
civilization
will not accept…
but I do.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Another Way

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Today’s meditation was a bit longer than normal at fifteen minutes, as I added on a few extra stretches to my piriformis stretching.   It was just a quiet meditation, and I had a bit of trouble focusing, which is fine.  I’ve picked up my yoga practice a bit, so the piriformis stretches are a part of that .  I expect to be a bit sore over the next few days.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Mercury card, which is a part of the oracle cards that are included in this deck. Although I am not really strong in astrology, I do know that Mercury rules over communication which is why when Mercury goes into retrograde so many people freak out and so much seems to go awry… once communication goes off the tracks? Everything else soon follows.

When I look at this card, I get very confused. Somehow skulls and face with one eye and a smile and a hand and snakes and ribbons and long tongues and…. it all gets messed up in my head when I look at the imagery on this card.  It’s a fucking clusterfuck mess, and i can’t seem to ever piece out the imagery to make sense of what I’m seeing.

In fact, what I see in this card’s imagery today is… not really there at all. Because when I look at this card, I see a nude figure curled into itself made out of the hand in the upper right hand corner, and the curvature of a bare spine from shoulders to hips out of the lower left skull.

What I see in these things that are not really there is vulnerability and a need to retreat from chaos.  Today’s card is a reminder of this.  Of the fact that when I feel vulnerable that I have a tendency to try and curl into myself and away from the chaos.  It is a reminder that that is the old way of doing things… and I’m learning another way.  A better and healthier way.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question:  How can I rest more effectively?

Tarot of the Journey to the Orient

Reading Summary: Learn from the new knowledge that you’re gaining emotionally to guide you (Knave of Chalices) instead of falling back on the fire that is sparked through conflict (Five of Wands) and charging ahead (The Chariot).

Take Away:  This is about managing my energy in a more resourceful way.  Instead of spilling my energy all over the place and using the flash fire of passions to drive me forward, I need to seek a gentler way of motivating myself so that it is easier to unwind from that motivation to rest more easily.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE JOURNEY TO THE ORIENT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I become more sure of myself?

Karma TarotReading Summary: Move away (Eight of Cups) from the belief that you have to be the end-all be-all and be able to do everything all the time (The World). Take some self reflection and allow those things that really aren’t any of your responsibility to fall away (The Hermit).

Take Away:  This message has to do with more than just my actions and physically taking on too much, but also my sense of inner responsibility. I need to remember that I am ultimately only responsible for myself.  This is because when I take on more than I can handle, or responsibilities that are not mine to take on, when I then fail, stagger, or struggle… my inner critic uses this as fodder to tear myself down through it’s negative inner dialogue.  That inner dialogue is all about being a failure, and I shouldn’t be taking that on for things that aren’t my responsibility in the first place.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  hold your ground // step aside // share the path

Slavic Tarot

Hold Your Ground – Five of Cups – Against your depression and pessimism.

Step Aside – Ten of Coins – From the responsibility of balancing everything on your shoulders… sometimes they’ll flourish just fine on their own without your stressing over them.

Share The Road – Two of Swords – With the fact that sometimes you do have to make difficult decisions even when you don’t want to. That’s OK. Just be well informed first.

DECK USED:  SLAVIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  When am I least creatively confident?

Albano Waite Tarot

Reading Summary: When joyous fun (The Sun) is torn down by selfish words (Queen of Swords Rx) by someone that should be a nurturing figure in my life (The Empress).

Take Away:  When I’m having my fun and/or expectations crushed by my mother.

DECK USED:  ALBANO WAITE TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_4062Just Don’t

tender
vulnerable
and feeling
without defense
the hint of raw
beneath the flesh
stirs up
the need to
hide

Subdrop sucks.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Chakra Reading from Owl and Bones

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So this reading was actually the Owl and Bones prompt for the 15th of this month, but it was a bit too… involved for me to work with at that time.  Because it deals with the chakra centers, it needs a bit more attention for me to do a full reading on, so I saved it so I could do it separately at a later date.   That “later date” would be today.

Chakra Reading with Dixit Cards v4 Origins Expansion Pack

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  to balance:   root // sacral // solar plexus // heart // throat // third eye // crown

Root – I am… Surprisingly fierce. To balance this part of myself it is important to remember the effect that “jack in the box” pop of fierceness can have on the unsuspecting. It isn’t something to use indiscriminately, for the surprise is a part of the power that lies within this quality. Choose your battles wisely and allow that fierceness to show itself only when needed.

Sacral – I feel… Precariously balanced.  This card reminds me of Eddy Murphy in the cave on the way to get the cup in the Golden Child movie, balanced so carefully upon the towering stone pillars and at risk for a long, long fall. Due to the emotional growth I’ve been working through over the past few months, my footing is unsteady, although I am taking the right steps. If I want to find better balance in this area, I need to find better footing.

Solar Plexus – I do… Focus on zen and comfort and silence. I find strength in peace and my connection with nature.  The white on the face and blue lips speak of my mutism, and how I can use this part of myself as a strength instead of a weakness. Sometimes silence is comforting and peaceful.  Creating a balance in my core requires time in nature, and time wallowing in the things I find comforting (like Luna’s purrs and squishy Pluto).

Heart – I love… Loving care through symbiosis. The Egyptian Plover is a bird that flies into the mouths of Nile Crocodiles and perches within their open maws, picking the meat and other remnants of food from between the crocodile’s teeth. The crocodile does not eat the plover because the plover is ensuring the health of the crocodile, by removing debris that could cause infection while cleaning the crocodile’s teeth. This type of symbiosis is needed for me to find balance in a loving relationship… and this type of symbiosis is something I have with you.

Throat – I talk… About elevation and inner strength. My communication is filled with my desire to help others to rise above their tragedies and hardships and find the positives both in their situations and within themselves. This is something I desire and love, but I also accept that not everyone is ready to let go and move on.  Sometimes, you just have to ‘hold space’ for them.  Holding space is not my greatest strength, but to find balance in this area of my life, it’s something I need to work on.

Third Eye – I see… Possibilities within impossibility.  To find balance in the area of my intuition and creativity, it’s important to allow myself the freedom to get lost in my imagination and let it carry me away into a land of possibilities far removed from “the box” of conformity.  Anything is possible… I just have to imagine it, and then act.

Crown – I understand… The connection between light and dark. I know and I understand the differences between right and wrong.  My moral compass is strong and sure, and is swirled through with as well as heavily connected to my intuition.  Balance in the area of my deeper knowledge and my intuition relies on this connection and upon the clear and strong readings my moral compass provides me.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARDS v4 ORIGINS EXPANSION PACK

Looking Out the Windows

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was another of the harps strings meditations with interval timer of chimes to help me through the stretching part of the process. It was very relaxing, and as often seems to happen these days when I meditate, I ended up in a bit of a nap afterward. Just saying? But having fruit in the house was a real motivator to get me going as well surprisingly. I was very eager to make myself my berry smoothie, so when I woke up there was no dawdling at all.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Four of Earth (Four of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of stability in hearth and home, finances and resources, as well as one’s health and manifestation goals.  This can also easily turn into a negative card if one takes that stability too far and becomes miserly or overly focused.

Although basket weaving is in the forefront and represents home and hearth to me as well as taking care of those you love, what really stood out to me today is the willow in the background. Medically speaking, its properties include use as an astringent and fever reducer, and the salicin in its bark is the active ingredient in aspirin.   Metaphysically, this tree is considered a sheltering protector and is associated with immortality through it’s reproductive abilities.

What I see as the message in today’s card is a combination of what sits in the foreground, and the willow that drew my eye to the background.  The willow is a protective tree.  It shelters many secrets within its shady embrace and protects them from discovery and harm.  So too does the Four of Earth offer protection through the sheltering protection of stability.

Just don’t get so focused upon that shelter that you forget to look beyond it.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question:  What can I do to remind myself that rest is important before I’m in desperate need of it?

Star Seeker Tarot

Reading Summary: Learn to recognize the signs (Page of Swords), and then seize steady and rooted control (King of Pentacles) to keep things balanced by using the tools at your disposal (The Magician).

Take Away: To make sure that I’m staying on top of when I need rest and when it is most important to my health and well being, I need to pay attention to the signs and not ignore them as I usually do.  Instead, I need to take them seriously and use them as a trigger to bring my responsible self forward and do what needs done to solve the problem before it becomes detrimental to me.

DECK USED:  STAR SEEKER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  Do Spread #2
How can I make sure that I don’t backslide in my emotional growth from this year?

Dixit Cards v4 Origins Expansion PackReading Summary: The combination of colors that coincide with each other in the second and third cards, connect these cards together, whereas the complete difference in colors and shapes through the first card in relation to the other two mark it as an outlier.

In the first two cards we have a crazily swirling sea with lots of unknown monsters in the dark, and yet the child sleeps and the sailor continues to row his boat.  This indicates a need to accept that uncertainty happens.  The world within the spin of a roulette like wheel then continues that theme, saying that that the presence of uncertainty in life is a part how the world works.

The outlier card, stands alone, separate from the other two by form and shape, subject matter and colors. The figures are packed and moving on…. and this indicates that the uncertainty indicated in the other two cards does not mean that you can just pack up and walk away.

Take Away: The cards here indicate that my biggest hurdle to trigger backsliding is emotional turbulence and uncertainty.  My natural response to these things is to close up and turn inward, retreating from others and the world in order to pull up my “walls” and hide behind them.   In order to keep from backsliding in my emotional growth, I need to accept that uncertainty is a part of life and that retreating from it solves nothing.  Don’t run away, stay and see things through instead.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARD v4 ORIGINS EXPANSION PACK

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Question:  what you project // what you take in // what lies deep within

Animism Tarot

What I Project – The High Priestess – Mystery in the knowledge of secrets. I found this card to be an interesting response to this question, but at the same time, it also makes sense considering my background and knowledge garnered from being a life-long pagan, fortune teller, and witch.  I think it’s more the “secret” part of the answer that gave me pause, as I’m always so willing to be open about my history and my knowledge, should anyone want to ask.

What I Take In – Nine of Wands – Energy.  I take in the energy of others, which is often defensive.  I didn’t realize this until recently when Kev did my Human Design System reading. A good deal of the reading rang true, and that included the part about my struggle to connect with others. When I rub people the wrong way, I feel that deeply as it is reflected back to me.  I’ve considered restructuring my shielding to deflect this, but I find the input helpful.

What Lies Deep Within – Five of Pentacles – Depression and pessimism.  As I mentioned in yesterday’s reading, I’m upfront about the fact that I deal with depression and have done so throughout my life… and yet when a depressive episode comes upon me, I work to hide it both from others as well as myself.  My pessimism is something I also try to hide, although it more often becomes apparent during times when I’m feeling especially grouchy.  These things live deep within me, and although I struggle with them and try to fight against them when they rise up?  I don’t think they can really be abolished so much as… managed.

DECK USED:  ANIMISM TAROT