Dusk in Autumn
Summer’s whisper
sighs ‘goodbye’
and leaves behind
swirling shades
of bright sunsets
and blue dusk.
Civilization
twinkles like stars
in the darkness
a sky of
shimmering light
stretching out
over land.
Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)
These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.
The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?
Earth – Ace of Cups and Crow / Destiny – Sometimes it’s okay to make decisions with your heart. Keep your eye cast in the direction that you want to go in, and seize the opportunities that come along to improve your position. This week, it may be that you have to lean more into your gut than your head in doing that… and that’s okay.
Air – King of Cups, Nine of Wands, Rosemary / Focus – You’re not feeling all that “large and in charge” this week, but you’re faking it just fine. The thing is? This isn’t one of those times when you can fake it until you make it. Take a breath and do what you need to find your center and your focus. This means picking back up your meditation and letting it help soothe some of that defensive tension you have going on right now.
Water – Five of Pentacles and Carnelian / Motivate – That general malaise that you’ve been feeling the last few days is messing with your motivation. This will continue to be a struggle throughout the week, but keep in mind that action is the kindle that sparks motivation’s fire. Make sure that you’re doing even a little bit each day toward your goals and that the girls are as well. It’ll keep you moving, even during this week that may otherwise feel like dragging feet through quicksand.
Fire – Ten of Cups, Pyrite / Success, Black Tourmaline / Eliminate – This week is going to cause you to feel a bit hopeless and as if you’re progress towards your goals has come to a grinding halt. Business is going to be slow, but it’s temporary. Remember that your reaction to this is an entirely emotional reaction.
Waning – Origin – This is about my father’s influences. It’s about my origin story and the need to focus on leaving that in the past where it belongs. The emotions and demons that allowing it to come forward are demons that I can’t wrestle with at this time, and so allowing them to come forward will only allow them to harm me. Keep the past in the past where it belongs. Now is not the time.
Waxing – The Harvest – This week is the final week of the last harvest, and this card couldn’t be more fitting considering that fact. It’s time to start gathering up everything I will need for the winter months… that means gathering up everything that I need for the holiday rush that’s only getting closer and closer. Don’t allow your feelings from the Fire position above to dissuade you from the preparations you need to make.
Take Away – Business is going to be slow this week and it’s going to fuck with your emotions, but don’t let that keep you from doing what you need to do to prepare for what’s to come. Make sure that you don’t let the general malaise that you’ve been feeling create a vulnerability that your father’s influences can then slip into and start eating away at you. Listen to your heart this week when it comes to any opportunities coming your way. This isn’t easy for you as logic is your go to, but the heart that needs a say this time.
DECKS USED: DARK MANSION TAROT, WITCHES WORLD ORACLE, AGATHA’S PENDULUM ORACLE
Don’t Be “All Talk”
Today’s meditation was skipped. I know. I shouldn’t be skipping anymore but I’m confessing here. I skipped it. I need to get back on track with doing the meditation on a daily basis each morning. I know it helps, and would probably help my current feeling of malaise that I’ve been struggling with. So I need to just do it.
Today’s draw is the Empress card, which is traditionally a representation of a nurturing earth-mother type of energy, abundance, and the sacred feminine.
There are a couple of things that really stand out to me in the imagery of this card today. The first of which is how svelt the Empress is in this imagery. That just feels a little weird for me, but I think it’s not so much something the card is speaking to me as it is just a personal preference for the Empress to have a bit of meat on her bones.
The second, and far more relevant, aspect of the imagery that stands out to me today is the delicate curl of her hand as she cradles the glowing orb. The tilt of her head indicates regal authority, and yet she holds the orb with a gentle touch (indicated in the light curl of her pinky finger). She listens and cares, and the orb comes to her in trust.
The message here is about being good to yourself. As good to yourself as you are to others. And that has to be more than a thought or an idea. It has to be an action. It has to be something you actually do. Because if it’s all talk? Then it’s not going to get you anywhere.
DECK USED: TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE
LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Select your Death card and ask the Spirit World to guide you in something you could move past. Now draw another card.
My Death Card is the Seven of Wands, which is about being so defensive all the time, indicating that this is something within myself that I need to work on changing. Not in one fell sweep, but a little at a time.
When asking the Spirit World for guidance in moving past this issue, I was given the Star card, indicating that I need to approach this problem with a mindset geared towards hope while striving for an outlook of gentle balance and self-kindness.
The Two of Swords and Death card then dropped out as I was setting the cards down. This added input indicates that this endeavor is not something that will happen on its own but rather is something I will have to make a choice to work on, and have the patience to let it unfold slowly.
DECK USED: CUTE AND CREEPY TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What positive generational gift has been passed down to me from my ancestors?
Reading Summary: The ability to take things in stride (Wheel of Fortune) and move you and your loved ones forward (Two of Cups atop Two of Wands) no matter the amount burden involved (Ten of Wands).
Take Away: I would not have considered this a generational gift, and yet… perhaps it is after all. The fact that I carry those that depend on me forward, continuing to keep them moving and keep them together even when things fall apart or the burden of it all feels too much is something… I have done and do today. Is something my father has done. And I imagine it is something that those before him did as well.
Perhaps this quality of being able to move forward even under that horrible weight of responsibility and the ever changing sands of life under my feet is hereditary after all, yes? At least… that is what the cards are saying.
DECK USED: DARK ANGELS TAROT
#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I strengthen my connection with my Guides?
Reading Summary: My cards are singing to me that old Bill Withers “Lean On Me” song.
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow (The Tower)
Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on (Two of Cups)
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry (Seven of Cups)
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me (Two of Cups)
Take Away: In a previous reading, there was a question about how can I honor my connection with my guides, which was to strengthen that connection.
The response to how to strengthen that connection is to use that connection. Don’t ignore it or leave it in the background, but actively reach for it and my guides, and use the tools at my disposal to ask for help and connect to them on a conscious level. To actually ask questions, seek out their advice, and acknowledge them and their guiding hands.
DECK USED: THE CRYPTID TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is ready to be released from my life?
Reading Summary: Emotions (Lord of Grails) and intuition (The Priestess) taking the forefront (imagery in the Lord of Grails). That whole “steady as she goes” mentality (Four of Skulls) is great when there’s not a bombardment of chaos to deal with, and fun and games have their place (The Sun). Unfortunately, none of that is going to help me in the couple of months ahead.
Take Away: It’s time to release fun and play and relaxed methodologies as well as the distractions that I’ve been enjoying so much through the spring and summer (emotional growth, intuitive growth, etc). There is a seven week stretch quickly approaching that is going to require setting all that aside for a bit. Releasing all that is hard, but it needs to happen.
DECK USED: TAROT OF VAMPYRES
Gideon’s Challenge
Fissures
If people
could see
the cracks
inside me
as easily
as a broken bowl
would I be
tossed away
and forgotten?
or recycled
into something new?
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Morning Bonus Read – Challenging an Old Habit
The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Continuing our theme for the month, some questions to ponder this week…”
What is something in your life that you are struggling to put to rest?
Ten of Clubs
My need to overburden myself with craploads of stuff to get done. Each week brings me that much closer to my six week nightmare of the holiday rush, and with each week that passes I feel more pressure (from myself) to put more and more on my plate and try to get more and more done.
What do you need to do to finally move forward with that goal, emotionally?
Seven of Hearts atop King of Clubs
It’s all about the choices we make and owning your actions and drive. If I want to move forward into keeping myself from being overburdened, I need to lean into leading rather than slaving. Taking control rather than allowing the vast array of things I feel that I need to get done to control me. In other words? if I want to move forward emotionally with this, I need to take control of my obligation oriented emotions that drive me to overwhelm myself with work.
What do you need to do to finally move forward with that goal, physically and mentally?
Nine of Hearts
Understand that I don’t need that overwhelm and strife in my life in order to feel like I’m succeeding. That means stepping back from all these things that are overwhelming me and allow myself time to re-evaluate. The world is not going to fall apart if I don’t pile these things on my shoulders, so maybe I need to just… not do it. It’s okay to not do it.
How can you best celebrate the steps you are taking to put to rest this thing in your life?
Eight of Spades
Putting to rest the tendency to overburden myself is really hard. To celebrate this, I need to move forward with my eyes closed. That is to say… allow yourself to be blind to the pile of work that needs to be done for once. Allow yourself to move forward with your eyes closed and do only what is needed instead of looking at the whole picture and everything I could pile on my plate. Find freedom in wearing the blindfold. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. This is one of those times.
DECK USED: FLONZ VINTAGE HALLOWEEN PLAYING CARDS
Manifesting Abundance
Today’s meditation was was a part of me soaking in the tub… of which I did for damned near three hours apparently. I didn’t mean to soak in the tub for three hours, mind you. But it turns out that I only want to get out of the tub while the water is hot.
Once it cools down? I’m happy to lie around in there forever until the temperature gets to shiver-inducing temperature. Even then? When the temperature has cooled I feel much more inclined to add a little more warm water to keep the temp going than actually get out. It makes getting motivated to actually get out of the tub surprisingly difficult.
Today’s draw is the Magician, which is traditionally a representation of being capable and skilled, and having all the tools at one’s disposal to deal with what needs done or dealt with. It’s about being resourceful and having the motivation and expertise at your fingertips to manifest into reality what you want (or want to happen).
What stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is the abundant bounty sitting on the table behind the figure.
With the Magician card being about manifestation, what I see here is someone that has found the skills and expertise necessary to manifest abundance into their life. This shows capability to care for oneself and others, to manage life and provide the resources needed.
Today’s card is a reminder that I am capable. That I am skilled. That I am more than able to care for myself and for others. More than able to deal with keep my business afloat. More than able to handle the things that need done, and to manifest the abundance needed for myself and those that depend on me.
DECK USED: MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT
LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: How am I asked to honor the Spirit World this Samhain?
Reading Summary: Welcome home those that come to visit (Four of Wands) and spend time connecting with them (Two of Cups). Allow the emotional connections to happen and take the support offered in their presence at this time (Queen of Cups).
Take Away: Not all that come through from the spirit world do so to berate me. That is solely my father’s schtick. The cards here are a reminder that the spirit world as a whole is not my enemy and I can connect with it and make bonds through the veil that have nothing to do with him or the influences that he has had upon me and my life.
DECK USED: GOLDEN AGE OF HORROR COMICS TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: A Problem / What Action to Take / What to Wait On
A Problem – The Empress – Neglect. Lately I have been neglecting myself. Not eating as well as I should, not doing my meditations. Sort of retreating into myself and feeling off kilter in a general malaise sort of way. This isn’t just the drop, but rather an over all lack of enthusiasm for life and what it has to offer as a whole. It’s not healthy.
What Action To Take – Ace of Swords atop Two of Swords – I need to find a better way to communicate how I’m feeling. This isn’t my strong suit at all and will take a conscious effort, but finding the words is important.
What To Wait On – The Tower – Don’t catastrophize things just yet. It’s not the end of the world, just a bit of an uphill struggle of the moment. I need to remember that this isn’t some huge issue. It’s also not forever.
DECK USED: DARK GRIMOIRE TAROT
#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I strengthen my relationship with my Guides?
Reading Summary: Reach for them to help me make good choices (The Lovers) when I am feeling combative (Five of Wands) or down on my luck (Five of Pentacles).
Take Away: Sometimes, making the choices that are for my best interest, are not entirely an easy thing to do. Conflict and disillusionment can make impulses hard to resist, and there are times when hardships can pollute one’s view and make other perspectives difficult to see. This is the time when reaching for my spirit guides can help in strengthening our relationship, as it creates a conscious bond of trust instead of an unconscious one followed through intuition.
DECK USED: TWISTED TAROT TALES
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I keep my spiritualism focused?
Reading Summary: Stick with it and work at it (Three of Pentacles) through the ups and downs of life (Wheel of Fortune). Practice patience in your progress (Temperance), and kind understanding of yourself along the way (The Empress).
Take Away: Tenacity. The key to keeping my spiritualism focused is accepting that it’s going to have its ups and downs along the way and that you just need to stick with it regardless of that. The cards also note that providing myself with patience and understanding is more than just for work and the business, and needs to be applied to this area of my life as well.
