Morning Bonus Read – Fulfillment, Gratitude, and Joy

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
This week, let’s look at the flip side: fulfillment, gratitude, and joy. Did you know that one of biggest tools against burnout and stress is gratitude? (You know, apart from needed mental health treatment and care.)

Alchemy England 1977 Playing Cards

Where in my life am I experiencing fulfillment?
Ten of Spades

I’m actually feeling pretty good about myself lately.  It’s about that whole “survival” thing.  The fact that I have been through so much, dealt with so many devastating hurdles, and not just survived them but thrived in their wake.  Remembering this gives me confidence, and a feeling of fulfillment that comes from a sense of accomplishment.

What is something in my life this year that I’m grateful for?
Nine of Diamonds

See, the thing is?  Even though the pandemic has sucked ass, and even though I lost all but one of my part time jobs for a good part of the spring and summer… and have only really picked back up half the work load (working for others) that I had pre-pandemic?  I have been able to adjust my finances to take the brunt of these changes without damaging anything other than the amount of time it will take to pay off my mortgage.

Yes, I want it paid off… but I’m relieved to have spent so much time busting my ass to pay the highest amount possible per payment because it prepared me for what’s going on now… when I need to pay less. Because of this, my situation is still stable… and I’m so grateful for that.

What is something in my life this year that brings me joy?
Seven of Clubs

I’m kickin’ ass, baby.  Building off the previous question in a way, what has brought me (and brings me) joy this year is that I have been able to support not just my lifestyle and those that I love with my efforts, but also continue to keep my business thriving during this time when so much has swung out of sync and is not the norm.

What is something in my life this year that I am succeeding at?
Six of Spades

I am succeeding at finding a better way.  A new path. It has taken a good part of this year to work through the psychological process of letting go of how I have done things in the past.  It’s a struggle not to push myself beyond my limits, and actually allow myself the healing rest and recuperation I need.  Walking away from that highly abusive dynamic I had going on previously is not an easy task, not a quick one.  But I am succeeding at it, one step at a time.

DECK USED:  ALCHEMY ENGLAND 1977 PLAYING CARDS

Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Winner

Pull up to three cards use them as the foundation to express and/or describe someone’s (real or fictional) reaction to winning the lottery.

The Astro Tarot

When the ticket turned out to be a winner, he couldn’t believe it.  He’d never had a bit of good luck in his entire life, and then the numbers were called and he’d won.  He’d really won!  He’d been buying the tickets so long that it was more habit than hope any more, and then his world changed in a moment’s stroke of luck that made up for all those unlucky moments that had come before it. (The World)

The funny thing about habits, though?  Is that even when your dreams come true, habits don’t die.  They live on and continue to influence us no matter what circumstances change in our lives.   And so even though he’d won the lotto he continued to play it anyway.  The one percent of his income he’d put toward it for so many years continued… but now?  That one percent was so much larger.   Having never learned to manage money, over time that one percent started to eat into his winnings… of course so did the indulgences he couldn’t help but purchase now that he had the money to do so. (The Devil)

In the end, he ended up back where he’d been all along.  The winnings gone, they had taught him a valuable lesson, but one that he’d learned too late. He knows now that it’s important to spend money wisely, no matter how much of it you have.   His bank now empty once more, the wisdom will carry on regardless.  (The Hierophant)

DECK USED: THE ASTRO TAROT

Transitioning from August to September

This is a spread that I do at the end of each month to close out the month.

Month End Tarot Check In - Hilda Tarot, Roots and Wings Oracle

Individuality The High Priestess, Six of Swords, Earth Mother – I’m in the process of trying to find a balance between my intuitive self and my more grounded qualities.  I’ve recently discovered that to find an easy balance is going to take scrapping old methods and rebuilding a dynamic that is more hospitable to both.

Dependence Nine of Pentacles, Nine of Cups, The Divine – As I move further into the fall and closer to the holiday rush, I begin to step away from a sense of wallowing in the comfort and security I’ve created.  Although spirituality will continue to play a part in my life even through the silly season, I am aware that I will need to let go of some practices for a bit until things calm down again.

Creativity King of Wands, Potential, Wildness – I leave behind the shelter of wallowing in comfort in order to reach for what I want out of the months to come.  I focus ahead now, seeking the potential that the holiday rush represents.  It’s a wild ride, but one I willingly do each year as my finances depend upon the holiday rush to balance out.

Limitation Seven of Swords and Perseverance – While looking ahead toward the holiday rush, don’t freak out about the time passing by.  You only have so long to prepare for what’s coming, but you need to accept as well that distractions happen and using time for self care and other things that are good for you  isn’t wasting time.  Yes, it might mean you get a bit less done, but it means that you are building yourself up to last longer in the long run.

Change The Magician and The Void – The Magician has been following me around a lot over the past few days.  It is a reminder that I am a strong and capable person, well prepared and well educated, and more than able to deal with anything that comes my way.  Do not allow uncertainty to convince you otherwise.

Sympathy The Star, The Fool, Vulnerability – These cards are a reminder of a past event that is relevant at this time.  The message here is about how sometimes you just blindly have faith and go after what you want and… even though such times often result in uncertainty and vulnerability… you always end up coming out the other side okay.  Wounds heal… experience lasts forever and teaches you how to deal with things a different and better way the next time.

Luck The World and Transformation – I have a chance to make lasting changes at this time.  It’s important to not look back, and not backslide.  Keep your eye on the prize and reach for those changes and strive for forward motion.  I’ve spent the lions share of this year working at not just emotional growth, but in finding a better balance between work and life.  Now that I am entering into the time of year that is the most stressful for me, I need to make sure that my focus on preparation doesn’t turn into obsession and edge out the progress I’ve made over the last few months.

Power Wheel of Fortune, Knight of Pentacles, Joy – Don’t allow the little irritations and upsets steal away my confidence, my progress, or my joy.  Just yesterday I did a reading that spoke on this.   Shit happens.  You need to roll with the punches and keep moving.  Adapt and continue instead of letting hurdles stand in your way and block your path forward.

Responsibility Eight of Pentacles, Time, Hope – The future opportunity here is about my work and time management. It’s about making sure that I am staying optimistic and using my time wisely to prepare for what’s coming.  I’ve gone through the rush a number of times now. I know what I need to have done ahead of time to make things go more smoothly.

Message from Spirit World – You are capable and strong, knowledgeable and powerful in your own right.  Life is a series of ups and downs, but you have the grounded spirit, the capable hands, and the know-how to take on the world and suss out what you want from it.

Message from Mind’s World – Move forward from the swaddled comfort of the summer and into the new energy of the fall.  This time of harvest for so many is your time of preparation.  Allow your spark to catch fire and lead you forward to where you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally. Preparation for the holiday season is about more than just the supplies and products that need to be made and stockpiled… because you need to be readied as well.

Message from Known World – Spending some time having a bit of fun might feel like a waste of time, but it’s actually a deeply seated need that you have to attend to in order to continue to grow and get to where you want to be not just in the physical world with your business, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

Take Away – Balance. This is all about balance and making sure that I’m not neglecting the needs of my body, mind, emotions, and spirituality by sacrificing them on the altar of work and commerce. It’s okay to take time for yourself.  It’s okay to have a little fun and allow your mind to slide away from work and the business prep for the holidays for a bit now and then.  It will not be the end of the world if you aren’t focusing every single ounce of your attention and energy on what’s coming in November.

DECKS USED:  THE HILDA TAROT, ROOTS AND WINGS POCKET ORACLE

Side note:   I just noticed for the first time in this post that when I am doing readings for myself, I bounce between first person and second person as if I am both simultaneously reading to myself as myself… and reading to myself as if across the table from myself.

Full Moon in Pisces – September 2020

Full Moon in Pisces Tarot Spread - The Botan Tarot

Tomorrow night will be the full moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I’ve done a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

1. What message does my intuition want to deliver?

Justice – Awareness is really important right now. Don’t allow yourself to be baited into going against your moral compass due of someone’s hidden motivations. You need to be paying attention not just to what’s going on around you, but make sure that you are examining motivations.  Both your own, as well as the motivations of others.

2. How can I connect more with my intuitive side?

The Fool – Let some of the starch out of your britches and relax. Your intuition works best when allowed to flow free. As you already know, gripping too tight or trying to be too stringent with yourself will smother that intuitive voice.

3. What emotions need healing?

Five of Cups and The Devil – There’s a lot of depression and self destructive urges lurking under the surface and although I work to heal them a little at  a time, and I am progressing… I still have a long way to go. It’s a daily struggle to lean into optimism, and to police those self destructive urges. Some more easily sneak under the radar than others.  It’s not surprising that the depression and self destruction would come up here, as it’s a long term journey… not  a short sprint.

4. How can I let go?

The Star –  I mentioned this in the previous question.  It has to do with leaning into optimism, working towards positivity, and foster hope in your heart on a daily basis.  These things are not easy for me, just as they would not be easy for pessimist… but if I want to make true progress on my healing journey, they are a necessary part of the process.

5. What self care do I need to focus on?

The Magician and Temperance – It’s important at this time to foster a little faith that you can handle whatever comes. Don’t stress out over the future and what’s coming along down the road, instead take time to focus on the present and allow your knowledge and skill to speak for itself when the time comes.

Staying in the present instead of pushing toward the future is not an easy thing for me, but it’s a form of moderation I’ve been working at exercising all spring and summer and will continue to work at into the fall.

DECK USED: THE BOTAN TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Surge Capacities

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
This week I read an article about how all of our “surge capacities” are depleted right now. So! That’s this week’s prompt: some self-diagnosis of our mental and emotional capacities at the moment.

Bones Playing Cards Dust Edition by Brain Vessel

Am I in or approaching mental burnout?
Queen of Clubs

Not at the moment.  I’m going strong and confident in my path, no particular burdens holding me down or keeping me from fulfilling my potential concerning my passions or my business.

Am I in or approaching emotional burnout?
Five of Hearts

Absolutely. Don’t allow your pessimistic side to take charge and overpower the efforts you’re making toward optimism.  Over the past week or so, that’s something I’ve definitely done, and it’s time to catch what’s going on and get back on the right track before the pessimism drags me down and tries to bury me.

In what ways will I continue to need to operate on “surge capacity” because I don’t have an option?
Ten of Spades

With the holiday rush right around the corner and preparations underway, you’re going to begin to feel the strain of added pressure and crave  that ending that comes at the end of the holidays.  It’s a long way off yet, and you have a long way to go.  Be prepared to accept that if that craving starts showing up early, you’re going to have to push through regardless of feeling you’ve reached the end of your rope.

In what ways am I expecting too much from myself and I can back down?
Two of Diamonds

You don’t have to juggle as much as you are.  When things feel like too much, it’s time to let some of those extraneous activities and responsibilities falling to the wayside.  This includes these readings and other related activities if needed.  You can only juggle so much, and especially during the holiday season, your paying responsibilities have to take priority over everything else.

What is one thing I can do to build my mental and emotional reserves back up?
Three of Hearts and Jack of Diamonds

Take time to slow down and spend time with your loved ones.   It can be hard to slow down, but in doing so you are taking a bit of the strain off  your shoulders instead of leaving yourself in a constant state of pressure.

Also, remember that those that love you want to help, and they want to support you. Make sure that you’re asking them for help when you feel like you’re moving at a crawl.

DECK USED: BONES PLAYING CARDS DUST EDITION BY BRIAN VESSEL

Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Queens

Pull the Queens out of a deck of your choice. Consider… Do you have someone in your life that fits with one of these cards? Do you have people in your life that would fit with each of them? Then share that here and tell us about the connection you see between each Queen card and the person in your life it represents.

Luminous Void Tarot

Queen of Wands – Every day he wakes with a fire in his gut and purpose driving him forward.  He rushes into the office every day and finds his way to the desk where he meets with those that need help and hears their stories. He makes calls and helps them fill out paperwork.  He fights their battles because they are unable to fight those battles themselves, petitions courts and demands justice for those that would otherwise have none. He is an advocate for homeless youth, determined to save as many as he can… one one lost youth at a time.

Queen of Cups – Her laughter puts your soul at ease like a gentle balm on the senses.  She’s a hugger… a toucher… a smiling beacon of warmth.  She’s not a pushover by any means, but she’ll sit with you in silence if you need it, give you the hug you need or the shoulder to cry on when you reach for her.  She’ll then wipe your tears away when you’re done and give you a smile that lights up her face.  A smile that is so infections you can’t help the twitch of your own lips.  Giving you a light hug, she’ll then whisper in your ear, “It’ll be okay. Go get’em Tiger”.

Queen of Swords – Some would call him passionately shrewd.  Others would call him cold and ruthless.  People come to him for advice.  They bring not just their hopes and dreams, but their troubles and worries to him and he listens as they share with him what they want out of their future.  He takes what they give him and turns this into a plan.. a plan for the future, a strategy for success that he then explains to them in explicit detail so that they can follow that plan to the letter.  They are sent away more learned than they arrived, with the knowledge he’s there if they need him again.

Queen of Discs – They all come to her from time to time, her children and her children’s children.  They come to visit and pay respects, and sometimes to get practical advice on home and family matters… and always she has cookies at the ready.  Her truly shining moment, though, is the family picnic in the middle of  June each year. She spends days in the kitchen, cooking for the family that will fill her house and property with laughter and conversation.  Bowls and platters, plates and casserole dishes. Roast beef and a Thanksgiving worthy turkey, fried chicken and so many delicious things to eat.  All her old recipes brought to life again for those she holds most dear.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT