Morning Bonus Read – Refocus Tarot Spread

Because I am trying to show a bit more of my decks this month, as I have a whole LOT of October/Halloween/Samhain decks, I’m doing a few extra bonus reads over the month.  This is one of those extra readings.

Refocus Tarot Spread - Catton Candy Nightmare Tarot

Why do I feel unfocused right now?
Ten of Pentacles Rx

Because my stability feels a bit shaky and uprooted.  The thing is, this time of year is a transition period for me between the summer’s endeavors (that this year were primarily self-focused and personal) and the holiday rush (which is entirely business focused and entrepreneurial).  It’s not surprising that the shift from one to the other would make me feel unsteady, and thus a bit unfocused.

What is distracting me from my soul’s true path?
Judgement

Me.. being a dick… to myself.  I’m working on combating this as best that I can, but that dark snarl that likes to whisper nasty shit in my ear is definitely working overtime at the moment.

What requires my focus right now that I am neglecting?
Eight of Cups

I’ve had a lot of reminders lately about making sure I’m leaving the shit that isn’t working from me behind.  Here, again, we see that reminder that I need to keep my eye on where I want to go and not on how I  used to do things.   There’s a lot of temptation right now to fall into bad habits from my past, so these constant reminders are understandable and appreciated.

How can I release distractions and refocus on what matters most?
The Hanged Man Rx

Stop allowing hesitation to rule my actions and thoughts.  I’m being told to jump in and “adjust on the fly” as I move forward instead of hanging back with worries while trying to test the waters before jumping in.  Procrastination is not my friend right now.

Who or what can help me stay focused?
Ace of Wands

I need to get back in touch with that creative inner spark and the joy that it gives me to manifest ideas into physical items that bring pleasure to others.  This is my own pleasure and my purpose, and is something that I’ve lost touch with a bit off and on this year.

How can I benefit from realigning and refocusing?
Five of Cups Rx

It will allow me to move on and move forward instead of hanging back dealing with emotions that have no use or purpose for me at this time.

DECK USED:  CATTON CANDY NIGHTMARE TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Seasonal Endings

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
Continuing our theme for this month, discuss with your divination tools what you are experiencing dying or coming to life outside of your control.

Halloween Playing Cards by Natalia SilvaWhat specific things are in the process of dying right now outside of my control?
Ace of Diamonds, Four of Diamonds, Five of Spades

In the cards, what we see in the top three cards is that the center card is what is dying… and the cards on either side are working together to kill that center card.

All of the stability and security that I’ve been feeling over the spring and summer while I’ve allowed myself to explore is now falling into a time of conflict and ambition. Old money giving way to new money, earned through fighting for what is mine to claim.

How is this affecting me emotionally?
Seven of Clubs

Feeling defensive during this time of transition is natural, but I need to make sure that I don’t allow these feelings to overwhelm me and take control.  That sense of overwhelm is a quick landslide down into exhaustion and burnout… which is something I just don’t have time for right now.

How is this affecting me mentally?
Five of Diamonds

Scarcity issues are on the rise. The thing is? These issues are all in my head.  I know that. I make enough to support myself, even if there needs to be a bit of strategizing from time to time. I don’t have -actual- scarcity in my life right now, even though I’ve experienced it in the extreme in my past. Instead, this is my mind whispering about past experiences in my ear and using them as a prod for motivation.  It’s not good for me, but it is effective.

How is this affecting me physically?
Seven of Diamonds

The physical effects of this will not affect me immediately, but over time? Absolutely will. I will reap what I sow, and as I move into a time of ambition and “new money”, the tole it takes upon me is going to catch up eventually.  Just hopefully not until January.

What is my role in this death?
Two of Diamonds

My role in this death is all about balance.  I have new methods and new techniques in place to help me better balance my self care and my work load.  I need to make sure I’m staying focused on that balance and on keeping things as healthy and balanced as possible during this time.

DECK USED: HALLOWEEN PLAYING CARDS BY NATALIA SILVA

New Moon in Libra – October 2020

De Brigh Black Tarot - New Moon in Libra Tarot Reading

Yesterday was the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

1. What is my sensual side craving?

Queen of Swords – Control without harshness.  Guidance without sharp edges.  Just pretty much exactly what I’m been getting from Gideon.  This is not surprising, because Gideon and I are often in sync as to the “flavor” of intimacy we’re delving into.

2. Where can I be more romantic?

Ten of Swords atop Eight of Cups –  Yield instead of running away.   Don’t avoid the submission you crave.  Enjoy it for as long as you can, because soon the holiday rush will not be allowing for any dropping at all… which means no drowning/subspace will be possible either.

3. What needs rekindling?

Ace of Swords – Our communication. Okay so this is just something I’ve noticed lately, but a big part (not in its entirety of course as there’s also a good deal of mental health stuff and teaching going on here, as well as the fact I’ve turned to using it as a digital tarot journal)…. right.  Digression.

Anyway, a big part of the reason for the existence of my blog is to allow Gideon to look into what’s going on with me.  What’s up with my thoughts and worries, my concerns and my feelings. To give him the ability to see what’s going on.    And the thing is, it does that.  But it feels like… I dunno.   I feel like there’s just a quick skim and then a quick “I love you” or other brief response to like one tiny thing that catches the eye.

So it kind of makes me wonder…. is he reading the whole thing?  Or is he just reading a bit of it?  Is he really reading?  I guess I kind of feel that way about the Gid’s Challenge posts sometimes too. They are just for him, but sometimes it feels like… there’s barely any response to them at all.

Maybe it’s not our communication that needs rethinking at all, but rather my clarity concerning why I’m writing in this blog in the first place and the expectations placed upon it and upon him.

4. How can I be more tender with myself?

Four of Swords atop Five of Wands – Meditation over conflict is the message in these cards. I need to start meditating more regularly again, as it will help me in taking control over my inner conflict and allow for a calmer and more centered energy in my day to day.  This calm and centered energy is going to be extremely important as the holiday rush takes hold and turns my world upside down.

5. Where can I best direct this new moon’s energy?

Seven of Swords atop Five of Cups Rx – Strategy is going to be important in order to avoid personal setbacks as I move into the end of the second half of this month.  Be sure that I have my strategies in place for how to deal with the things I need to get done, and don’t deviate from them.

This is an echo of a reading I did a week or so ago that stated “start as you wish to continue on”.  Now the cards speak of that “continuing on” by sticking to the plan.

DECK USED: DA BRIGH BLACK TAROT

New Moon in Libra – October 2020

New Moon in Libra Spread - Halloween Deck

1. What is being called into realignment in my relationship with myself?

Ten of Clubs  – I am in the process of learning a new way of balancing my work, self care, and life in order to ensure that I am not overwhelming myself and overburdening myself into a burnout.  With orders picking up and the holiday rush only a couple weeks off now, I’m being tempted again and again by the old habits I’ve discarded that will allow that overwhelm to take hold.  I need to make sure that I’m taking care to stay true to my new purpose and new methods, and not allowing myself to dive into those old habits that will only lead to yet another return to premature burnout.

2. What is being called into realignment in my relationships with others?

Six of Hearts – Harmony with loved ones.  This is about making sure that I’m asking for help and not carrying everything myself.  In order to create harmony between myself and my sister (and Z), there needs to be a more even share of the work distributed between us.

3. Where do I need to surrender to allowing more support from others?

Queen of Spades – My habit of taking on the lion’s share of work for myself is not going to help me at all right now.  Yes, I have the experience, and I have the ambition.  I know where I’m headed and how to get there.  But that doesn’t mean I have to shoulder all the work.  I need to steer my ship more from the helm, and not quite so much from the decks.  You can still mingle and “harmonize”, but don’t take every little task on yourself.

4. Where do I need to surrender to allow more support from Spirit?

Queen of Clubs – My passion for my work is important to me, but in order to foster that passion I need to allow myself to let others in. Not just others that live and work with me, but the energies and entities around me that want to help support me through my struggles.

5. A card to support me in returning to and living from my heart-centre.

Two of Hearts -A reminder that I’m not alone.  This entire reading is that reminder, and it is fitting that it would conclude with the Two of Hearts. This new moon is definitely about the pace picking up in my work and the preparation for the holiday rush…. but in that it’s reminding me that I need to share the work load instead of taking it upon myself.  I need to remember that if I want to succeed at this new path of growth and balance, I can’t do everything myself and need to allow others to step in and carry some of the responsibility.

DECK USED: SWABBED DECKS’ HALLOWEEN DECK PLAYING CARDS

Countdown to Samhain – Part 2

I discovered this little challenge on Instagram and thought I’d give it a go.  Since it’s not demanding a card pull each day, I thought it might be fun to use it for a couple of my Pagan’s Perspective posts instead of adding it to my daily rotations.

Countdown to Samhain #samhaincountdown

16 Halloween Tarot
Two of Imps – Make good choices using the knowledge and advice that they give me.
The Chariot – Take control of your life and steer it in the direction you want to go while allowing my ancestors to help guide me.
The Hanged Man – Make time along the way to see others perspectives and try and see my ancestors perspectives as well.

17  Off and on around this time of year some things happen.  But it comes with the territory, as the veil between the spirit world and the living one is very thin at this time of year. I am rather certain I had a visitation from my father last Samhain season, and it was not a positive influence for me.  I’ve made precautions this year in the hope of it not being a repeat occurrence, but I would never forbid him from visiting entirely unless it became a repetitive issue.

18  As with the answer to the tarot card question asked in part one of this series, I don’t really have a suit that I associate specifically with this time of year.  I think this might be because I see the suits as elements rather than seasons.  When I am required to assign seasons to the suits, the Autumn season is earth/pentacles. But that is not limited to just Samhain, but the entire Autumn/harvest season.

19  Pumpkins (obviously) and other gourds.  Apples.  Dried orange and lemon rinds.  Dried grasses and grains.  Chrysanthemums, wormwood, and thistle.

Halloween Tarot20 Listen to me… Listen to your inner knowledge… Listen to your intuition. Just listen and know.

This card is about making sure that I’m listening to my inner voice, inner knowledge, and intuition.  These elements are things not based in logic or fact, and yet have the ability to guide you forward with true purpose toward your soul’s completion. 

In acknowledging that my ancestors and guides speak to me through the signs and signals that my intuition and inner knowledge use to guide me, this essentially “doubles down” on the importance of making sure I’m not turning a blind eye to those messages, regardless of the fact that they come from a “less logical” source.

Halloween Tarot21 Stop judging yourself so harshly. It’s okay to be tired, it’s okay to take breaks, it’s okay to take a little time for yourself.  

You work hard and do a lot for other people as well.  There’s nothing wrong with taking a little time for yourself when you need it… or even when you don’t feel like you need it, but just want it.

Don’t allow your father’s voice and judgements rule your life and take away your joy, or enjoyment of the world around you.

Look at all the good you’ve done and stop judging yourself on the little things that don’t matter.

22  Yep.  I used to love dressing up and going to parties with my sister. These days we don’t party all that much, but for the past few years I’ve still decorated for Halloween and handed out candy.  And, as outlined in part one of this little quiz, I obviously also celebrate Samhain.

23  Every year around Samhain I watch two movies without fail. The 1968 version of the Night of the Living Dead and the 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

24  IMG_7078

IMG_7076

Halloween Tarot25 I need to stop trying to close myself off emotionally from others that are just trying to help (Four of Ghosts).

I can do this by making sure I stay in contact with Gideon, and by making sure that I express my feelings to him honestly so that he can help in understanding what I’m feeling and other people’s feelings and reactions, as well as guide me in making better emotional choices.

26  Not this year. For the first time since I moved into the building I live in, I won’t be answering the door to trick or treaters this year. So… I won’t be dressing up.   Altho… I might wear a pair of bunny ears to the farm in the morning when I go.  Just for the hell of it.

Halloween Tarot27 The shadow aspect of myself being revealed here is my “Not enough, never enough” shadow. 

This shadow rose up pretty heavy and strong last year, and I’ve noticed a slight resurgence of it this year as well. It makes it difficult to ask for help, and that is something I struggle with year round but usually becomes even more prominent during this time of year when I’m trying to get prepped for the holiday rush.

Halloween Tarot28 Take time to learn how to step away from the scarcity mindset.

This was an interesting solution to giving love to the shadow mentioned above, and yet… it also makes sense to me.  

The thing is, that when I am feeling like nothing is ever enough, I’m also feeling like I can’t catch up and can’t get ahead.  That scarcity is right there on my heels, nipping at me along the way.  It drives he harder and pushes me to do more. But it also feeds that shadow’s feelings of inadequacy.  

Therefore, if I want to give this shadow some love, easing those feelings of scarcity is a must.

29  I don’t think that I have a favorite song for the season, actually.  Although… Enya maybe, as far as music in general goes. Her music always feels just right at this time of year.

30  Halloween Tarot

IntentionPage of Imps – Exploring and expanding upon my interests and curiosities. This summer, I had the intention on doing a lot of different little craft projects and inspirations.

ObstacleStrength – The problem? Was that you can only put so much on your plate at once.  I allowed myself to put myself first instead of the business, which for me is pretty huge. 

Best OutcomeSix of Bats Rx – Staying put. I didn’t really advance all that much in my business over the spring and summer months. My heart just wasn’t into it and I was far too focused on my own self care and life stable and balanced.  As a result, there was very little progress and very little change.  Which honestly?  Isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because it didn’t damage my business or cause a backslide and/or loss as a result.

31 Thinning Veil Tarot Spread by TwisttheLeaf

Morning Bonus Read – Trick Or Treat Halloween Spread

Because I am trying to show a bit more of my decks this month, as I have a whole LOT of October/Halloween/Samhain decks, I’m doing a few extra bonus reads over the month.  This is one of those extra readings.

Halloween Tarot Spread - Carnival at the End of the World Tarot

Card To Represent Something That Is Tricking Me
The Last Judgement and The Devil

These cards are a reminder that my values and self worth have absolutely nothing to do with my control (or the lack thereof) over my addictions. It’s like equating your self worth with the cleanliness of your home or the color of your shoes. They have nothing to do with each other, but sometimes we (as humans) get all these things mixed up in our head and emotions.

How I’m Being Fooled By This
Page of Cups

This tendency to equate one’s self worth with how we feel about a flaw or issue that we’re currently involved in is a sign of emotional immaturity. This isn’t a huge surprise, as I have spent a good portion of my life burying my emotions and muffling them behind thick walls.  Now that I’m opening up to them  more fully and willingly, little stumbling blocks like these are bound to crop up.

How Can I Gain a Clear Perspective and Stop Being Tricked?
The Sun

Allow yourself to have some fun.  You’re not hurting anyone,  not even yourself.  So there’s no harm in it. That in itself rouses a bit of guilt, although that has more to do with being raised that fun is a waste of time.  I know this is not to be the case, and The Sun card here in this spread indicates I need to remember to embrace my fun rather than allowing the past to influence me into shying away from it.

Card To Represent a Treat In My Life
Queen of Cups

Being able to better connect with and understand people on an emotional level than I have in the past.  I’ve noticed this a few times recently in speaking with others and how I relate to them.   What I used to see as my empathy for others I have now come to realize was far more logic based thane emotion based.

A Way That I Can Fully Embrace This Treat
Knave of Wands

Continue to make the exploration of emotional growth a priority and pour my interest and attention into it.  This might be difficult during the holiday rush that is quickly approaching.  But, ten weeks from now, that chaotic time will come to an end, and I’ll be able to delve back into that exploration with both feet.

Something I Don’t Yet Understand About This Treat
Six of Coins

It’s going to change how I relate to others that are more fortunate than myself, and others that are fare less fortunate than myself.  It’ll give me a new perspective on balance, and on my personal involvement with that balance.   I’m not there yet, but just as I understand empathy more now than I did before, so too will this come into focus as tome goes on.

DECK USED:  CARNIVAL AT THE END OF THE WORLD TAROT