Various Paganism, Tarot, Etc

Morning Bonus Read – Responding to Change

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“The wheel of the year is tipping away from extreme and closer to balance. Explore this theme with your divination tools with some of the following questions.”

Whimsy Playing CardsWhat in my life is moving toward balance and away from an extreme at this time?

Jack of Diamonds – You are starting to get control over your negative thoughts and bring them back to center. This isn’t so much about the “bringing them back to center” part, which will happen on its own, but in taking that first step of awareness to what is going on and the conscious understanding that that negative inner narrative is your brain lying to you and not a reflection of reality.  As they say, being aware of the problem is the first step.

How is this affecting me mentally?

Six of Diamonds atop Queen of Diamonds – It is allowing kinder thoughts to have room to replace the abusive bitch in your head.  It is allowing you to be more generous with yourself and with what you are going through right now.

How is this affecting me emotionally?

King of Diamonds – It allows you to find the stability that you have been lacking, and see that there is a path forward.  You may not be able to grasp control at this time, but it gives you the ability to plan and strategize, which creates hope and allows you to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can’t see it just yet.

How is this affecting me physically?

Four of Hearts atop Five of Clubs – You are fighting against your need for the things that could help you feel more physically well.  The opportunities to get out and hike, or spend time in nature are being rejected as the depression makes everything feel unappealing.

How can I respond in a healthy way?

Three of Spades – Ride it out.  This is what is happening right now and you know from your past experiences with it that it’s a part of life.  And temporary.  Let it happen, ride it out.

DECK USED:  WHIMSY PLAYING CARDS

Transitioning from January to February

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Your Universe Month End Tarot Spread - January 2021

Individuality – Five of Pentacles Rx and Red Chestnut – You’re trying to pretend that everything is okay and put on a pretty face while in the grasp of your struggle.

Dependence – King of Swords, Oak atop Forget-Me-Not – You need to let go of your control issues for the time being and allow things to flow at their own pace.  Your strength of will and reason combines with your ability to manifest what you want in life is being challenged and you need to take a breath and release some control.  Nobody (living, dead, or otherwise) is going to judge you for that right now.

Creativity – Four of Cups and Aspen Rx – Stop allowing yourself to sink into the seductive feelings of pain and soul rotting darkness.  That embrace is not your friend, but if you allow yourself to wallow within it, it will encourage it to manifest more strongly in your reality and hold on even longer than it already is able.

Limitation – Three of Swords, Baby Blue Eyes, Chamomile – Complacency to the darkness encroaching upon you and the dark thoughts and influences that your mental imbalance.   These negative influences have the ability to take you deeper and deeper if you let them.

Change – King of Wands and Alpine Lily – Fight… even when it feels futile. Your will is strong and you’re a determined force.  It might not feel like fighting against the darkness helps anything, but it does. This is not a fight of brute force, but a battle of will and determination… the kind you are most adept at.

Sympathy – Three of Pentacles and Rosemary Rx – In the past you have resisted allowing people to take your responsibilities off your hand, forcing yourself to keep bearing the full weight upon your shoulders even when in the depths of the pit and surrounded by darkness. You  have learned from this experience that there is a better way.  It can be hard to follow through and allow others to bear some of the weight, but it’s important to your recovery.

Luck – Princess of Swords atop Five of Cups, Manzanita Rx – Remember that you can take what you’ve learned from past experiences and use that to overcome what is going on now. Not being able to find joy or pleasure in what usually brings these things to you is not a failing of yours but simply a symptom of the illness.  You know this… you have learned this… use this knowledge to overcome the negative whispers and dark feelings you are dealing with right now.

Power – The Moon atop Ten of Wands, Bleeding Heart – Don’t drop your burden on the ground, as this will cause uncertainty and problems down the road.  Hand it off to those that love and support you instead.  They are there to help you, they want to support you.  Don’t be so stubborn that you end up putting your responsibilities down so they aren’t being cared for instead of handing them over to those that want to help.

Responsibility – Ten of Cups and Chrysanthemum – You have the opportunity to start climbing to the light and feel good once again, but you have to pull your awareness out of the mire and misery and seek the light.  Don’t forget that it’s there just because you can’t see it right now.

Message from Spirit World / Mind’s World / Known World – This part of the reading takes a lot of focus and concentration to work through and I just can’t manage to get the mental clarity that I need at the moment to do them.  So I’m going to allow myself to skip these three prompts for this month.

Take Away – It is not surprising that the status of my state at this moment is centered around the depression that I’m experiencing.  It is the whole of my world at the moment and the advice here is sound. Let others help me with my responsibilities, keep fighting the depression and seeking the light, and make sure I do not listen to the seductive whispers in the darkness.  I will do my best to follow that advice.

DECKS USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT, FLOWER ESSENCES DECK VOL 1 & 2

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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1889 Lenormand - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will Guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Book – Make sure that you know all the facts before making any important decisions this month.  With you currently in the middle of an MDE, it’s important that you look to stable and informative outside sources to ensure you are seeing the full picture and not just that one view through the grimy glass that your depression affords you.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Clouds – Remember that this is temporary.  You are well and deeply sunken into the pit of depression and it is causing a good deal of confusion but you’re doing well at keeping the overwhelm in hand. Remember that this is familiar to you.  It’s something you’ve gone through before, and something that you will get through this time as well.  The depression may be heavy, but it’s temporary.

Star Wand: What will accelerate your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Ship – Focus on the things you have invested in and in fostering their continued good health.  Don’t worry about growth, that will take care of itself.  Just keep everything afloat and let the rest go for right now.  If it’s still afloat at the end of the depression, you can then work on pushing things forward and encouraging their growth.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Bouquet – The universe is rooting for you and pushing you to find what joy you can, however you can find it.  Even little joys will help brighten up the darkness around you, so allow them in and do your best to take pleasure in them.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Anchor – Don’t forget that you have spent a long time setting yourself up for the security and stability that you now have in your life.  Things feel like they are out of control at the moment, but this is an illusion created by your mental instability, and it will pass.  The true stability  you  have created in your life is still there, and will be there waiting for you when you begin to find your way out of the darkness.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Man – It’s okay to focus on yourself right now. It’s okay to be selfish right now. It’s okay to need to put yourself first for now.  It’s needed.  Do it.

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Child – You are at the bottom of the pit.  Seek out the light and the fresh air. Don’t wallow but keep reaching for the new breath and fresh openness  that is waiting for you on the other side of the darkness.

DECK USED:  1889 LENORMAND ORACLE

Imbolc 2021

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This evening through ’til tomorrow evening is Imbolc (also known as Candlemas, Imbolg, and Brigid’s Day), which marks the half way point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, and it signifies the transition from winter into the first stirrings of spring.  This holiday is about life renewing, but in the hidden darkness of cold months and dark earth.  Deep in the darkness seeds stir and roots begin to feel the warming of the earth as the days grow longer and nights shorter.  Life awakens, invisible in its infancy.

Imbolc 2021 Tarot Reading

Like with new moons and full moons, I usually do a spread to check in with myself and give myself some direction for the next couple of months for each solstice, equinox, and other Sabbats. This spread is an adaptation of my Self Care Saturday spread, so there are sure to be  some similarities in how it is read. The focus of this spread, though, is not about Self Care, but rather about progress and my path. The time period is also longer, reaching through the next handful of weeks until the celebration of the upcoming Spring Equinox at the end of March.

Theme of the Season – Imbolc, Waning Gibbous Moon, Aesculus Hippocastanum 

Imbolc is a time of life reawakening and the sweet stirrings that are not yet seen but will soon come forth to greet the sun. It is a time of hope, rest, and awakening, and is considered the very first whisper of the spring to come. 

The Waning Gibbous Moon is a time of decline.  This is the time when one rides the peak of the full moon’s power into it’s decrease.  Spell craft done on the full moon will stretch forward into the energy of the gibbous moon, providing  it the power needed to begin influencing those things we set to change on that full moon night.  Now is a time to reflect on your achievements with gratitude for all that has been gained and accomplished.

The Aesculus Hippocastanum (Horse Chestnut) are a magical representation of the fertility of the divine masculine, and are often used in spells that have to do with luck, especially of the monetary abundance sort.  It is an astringent, an anti-inflammatory, and contains saponins, which means that it can be used to make soap and other cleaning products.  It should not be ingested, though, as this nut is toxic to humans, causing stomach upset, kidney problems, muscle twitching, weakness, loss of coordination, vomiting, diarrhea, depression, paralysis, and stupor when ingested. In other words… don’t eat the soap, dumbass.

When looking at these three cards together, the theme that I see here has to do with taking this time of rest and quiet to purge out the negative and that which is not serving you with practices of gratitude and self care. Acknowledge your accomplishments and allow a little bit of pride to flourish as you wash away the negativity with positive reinforcement and an attitude of gratitude and hope.

Earth – Nine of Swords – In the darkness of the depression you find yourself in, you twist and turn restlessly and seek release from the chains darkness has bound you in.  Remember that even the seed must spend time in the dark before it can emerge to greet the sun.  Don’t fuss so much.  Pause and allow yourself to take a breath. Adding extra worries and anxieties to the experience won’t make it any more pleasant, nor usher it to move on more quickly.

Air – Three of Swords – This darkness you find yourself in naturally drags forward feelings of disappointment and damning thoughts of degradation.  Look up and allow the rain to wash you clean.  You are going through a trial and you need to work at keeping the negative thoughts from taking over.

Water – Nine of Wands –  Don’t close up. Don’t close off.  These things will not serve you well and aren’t healthy.  The depression always makes it tempting to put up walls and go on the defensive but you’ve been doing well at keeping those unhealthy habits in check. Better to allow the air to flow in and your breath to flow out.  Your emotions need an outlet to help things stay on an even keel.

Fire – Knight of Wands –  Following the theme of the other cards in this reading, this Knight has arrived to tell you what not to do. Do not charge forward.  Do not bear down in your focus and end up closing out the outside world and the influence of others as a result.  Do not allow yourself to find escape in work… for that escape is not going to foster you in any ways that matter in this moment when it is your mental health that needs your focus… not your work.

Waning – Light – You’re not going to be getting a lot of clarity this week, and hope might be a bit of a challenge. Feeling as if you are at a standstill is a natural part of what you’re going through right now, and that can create a sense of hopelessness. 

Waxing – The Stargazer – Patience is going to play an important role in moving forward over the next few weeks. Not everything can be taken on like a warrior charging into battle, sometimes it is about patiently working towards where you want to be one small step at a time.  The cake still gets eaten whether you nibble at it and savor each bite, or wolf it down on a gluttonous inhale.

Take Away –  Don’t worry. Don’t thrash.  Don’t fight too vigorously or try to charge through the abyss with force.  This moment in your journey is about patience and slow progress.  It’s about gratitude and doing what you can to foster hope within the darkness.   Have patience with yourself… you’ll get there in time.

DECKS USED: DANIELLE BARLOW ART CARD, PAGAN UNDERWORLDS TAROT, COMPENDIUM OF WITCHES ORACLE, HEALING HERBAL CARDS VOL 1 & 2

Morning Bonus Read – Negative Patterns

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“The very simplest, most basic premise of shadow work is that when our subconscious wants something different from our conscious, our conscious choices and magic are ineffective because they are being sabotaged by our unconscious. This book is pointing out that SOMETIMES (not always) when we see a repeating “negative” pattern in our lives, it is because that thing is fulfilling some subconscious desire. The only way forward is to drag that part of us out of the shadows and integrate or accept it so that we can consciously choose how to fulfill those desires instead of letting them drive our life. This is a very basic idea and there are obviously many facets to this, but this week, if you like, join me in exploring this most basic idea with one or more of these questions (or others if you so choose).”

Playing Politics 20/20 Vision Playing CardsAn area in your life with a recurring “negative” pattern.
Five of Diamonds

Scarcity issues. God fuck do I ever have scarcity issues.  It is a recurring problem in that it drives me constantly to try harder and do more, spurring my constant craving for security and stability to the point of near obsession.

What would I stand to lose if this negative pattern were to magically, suddenly disappear from my life?
Five of Spades

My fight. My push. As mentioned above, I use my scarcity issues as a motivational shove to get things done and stay on track with my plans, goals, and responsibilities.  Without those issues there to create drive, things like depressive episodes and mood swings as well as a variety of other situations and distractions would make staying focused on those goals and responsibilities nearly impossible.

What feeling does this negative pattern give me that I might, deep down, secretly enjoy?
Four of Spades

Exhaustion after a job well done. Honestly?  Burnout sucks ass, but it does occasionally create a perception of having done a lot and accomplished something.  Otherwise, why would you be so tired?

Am I experiencing pleasure in relation to the guilt I feel for having and using this negative pattern?
Seven of Clubs

Yes. I’m fighting the good fight… Or I feel like I’m fighting the good fight using this negative pattern as a weapon against laziness, failure, and distraction. It feels empowering.

If I let go of guilt about this negative pattern, What feeling would be left?
King of Clubs

More strength and security to support my business and my endeavors.  This last question was an interesting turn in perspective for me about this pattern of behavior.   So often my negative patterns and behaviors are things that I feel need to be resolved or healed.  Yet in this case, perhaps it is more about finding a balance of moderation instead.

DECK USED: PLAYING POLITICS 20/20 VISION PLAYING CARDS

Breaking Down the Tarot

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Learning tarot is something that a lot of people are intrigued about at one point or another in their life. For some, it’s a phase that they dabble in and then move on from. For others it is an opportunity to exploit others. For some it is a lifetime fascination. For still others, it is a part of who they are… or a part of their spirituality.

There are plenty of assumptions about the tarot and plenty of abusers that use the decks for their own purposes. That use the tarot to manipulate people, or to hurt people… or as a game, unintentionally hurting others simply by not understanding or being unwilling to grasp the power that the tarot can possess.

The sad thing is that this type of harmful behavior is going to be the case for no matter what you are talking about. There will be some that respect these different things, and others that won’t. Just as there are those that will appreciate a public garden, and others that will only pause to piss on the flowers.

The thing is that most of those who are truly invested in tarot in some way, whether that is through helping others or helping themselves, acknowledge that tarot is more than just a handful of cards. They aren’t out to hurt people, manipulate people, or use tarot as a game or a weapon. They are seeking to use the tarot to help themselves or others, seek out guidance for themselves or others, to delve into their psyche in order to heal themselves or others.

Tarot is a way to reach into the minds and souls of the self and others, and to find depth… to find answers. Whether a secular or spiritual reader, I think that it’s important to respect and own the responsibility that using something that can do this inherently holds. I find that I sometimes struggle with fresh, brand new beginners because of this. Because they aren’t ready yet to grasp the responsibility behind what they’re seeking to learn. They don’t realize that it’s not a toy or a game, but rather a tool to help that can also harm if we aren’t careful.

For this reason, I try to remind beginners (and even some that have dabbled for quite some time but don’t seem able to grasp the gravity of the tool in their hands) that reading tarot is not just about getting answers. It’s about how you present those answers, either to yourself or to others. It’s about acknowledging that anything that you say can have a huge impact on another person and their life, etc. And therefore, when reading the cards, it’s important to present things in a way they understand and that is empathetic to another person and their journey.

Without empathy, understanding, and a sense of empowerment in the message… the cards can easily become something that can do a great deal of harm instead of good. When people speak of “respecting the tarot” it is this influence… this responsibility… that they are referring to. A responsibility that I feel is absolutely essential, especially in reading for others… but also in reading for yourself.