Various Paganism, Tarot, Etc

Morning Bonus Read – Managing Depression

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Graphic Cheatsheet Playing Cards

Card to represent my depression.

Four of Hearts (Watermelon Bliss) – For a few days in the past week, I found myself at the very bottom of the pit and struggling to stay afloat in the mire that covers the bottom.  But now, I am no longer in that place.  I am still in the pit, and the light is still so very far away, but it is more of a dejected feeling of disinterest than abject misery of soul rotting decay.  Dejection with just a sliver of hope is the current status of my depression.

Something I need to learn about my depression.

Ace of Clubs (Paper Sizes) – The roots of inspiration have no place to dig within the mire of my depression, the soil too loose and heavy like trying to plant seeds within clay or sand.  There is no nutrients to feed those roots, and stability in which to be supported and grow strong.  Inspiration cannot be forced… instead you just wait until you can see the light once more in order to plant those seeds in fertile soil.

An action I can take to help my depression.

Three of Clubs (Sweet Starfruit) – Small steps. Just like taking little nibbles out of a cookie will eventually turn into having ate the entire thing, each small step forward in the darkness will take you a little closer to the light, even when at times you cannot see the light you are moving toward.  Do not allow yourself to stand still and stagnate.  Every small step of self care and healthy choices help you in getting a little closer to the freedom you seek.

How I can show myself more compassion.

Seven of Spades (Waterlily Lake) – Watch out for sneaky inner dialogue slipping in to screw with you when you’re not expecting.  Don’t buy into those lying whispers and negative, snarky judgements that slither through your mind and try to pollute your thinking. You know it’s the depression speaking and not a reflection of reality.

How I can find joy in my life right now.

Four of Spades (Peaceful Droplets) atop Five of Spades (Compassionate Aura) – Set down your anger and your need to strike out, to share your pain in unhealthy ways.  That, too, is your depression trying to control and influence you.  Instead, seek healthy ways to unload your burden and ease your mind so that you can rest more easily without a guilty conscience.

A reason to stay strong.

Ten of Diamonds (The Unknown) – If you give in to the whispers that swirl within you during your depression, you can end up deconstructing every single bit of stability and security you have built up over time for yourself and those that depend upon you.  Instead, stay focused on all that you have accomplished and remember that you are stronger than this… and will make it through to the other side with the help of those you so often help every single day.

DECK USED:  GRAPHIC CHEATSHEET PLAYING CARDS

New Moon in Aquarius – February 2021

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Today is the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us. Today’s spread is about the rising of altruism, and brought to you by Sharron Basanti of Seeds of Shakti.

Aquarius New Moon - The Uncommon Tarot

1. What visions is my mind awakening to?

Ten of Swords – The pain of what I’m currently going through, the mental illness that I’m struggling with.  The beat down that it is giving me, and the potential to rise from it in the end.  There is a need to ride out the process in order to find that potential, though.  First you must hit the ground, bleed out upon the grass… only then can you then rise from the ashes and start over.

2. How can I be more open to ideas that are outside of the box?

Four of Swords – Ease up on yourself.  It’s okay to need rest and recovery is a part of the process. Do not shame yourself into trying to avoid or outright reject this process. Part of last year was about accepting this and making allowances for rest and recovery.  Don’t backslide into shunning the need for this rest and restoration.

3. What false perceptions do I need to release in order to create space for sacred truths to rise up?

Eight of Wands – Not everything has to be done right this moment. You always push for everything to be done right now. Right away.  You don’t expect this from others, and yet you demand it from yourself.  it’s time to release this expectation and allow yourself the room to breathe through the process of getting things done.

4. In what aspect of my life do I need to be innovative?

The Magician – Don’t allow yourself to sink into feelings of helplessness and powerlessness.  You are a skilled and strong individual, knowledgeable and capable. The depression can cause you to lose track of your awareness concerning these things, but in keeping them in mind you empower yourself to stay strong and keep going.

5. Who do I need to collaborate with in my kindred circle for my health and well-being?

The Empress atop The Hermit Rx – This is about Z and the kindness and nurturing she offers during times when you need her support. Whenever the Empress appears, it often reflects back to the same energy that Z carries upon her and within her, and she is the person that you need to collaborate with now in order to assure that you don’t use alone time activities to retreat into yourself.  By speaking with her about your concerns to do with alone time and not using your alone time in healthy ways, she can be there for you real-time and on-point to make sure that it doesn’t happen and you use that time in healthy ways.

6. Message from my Guides and Ancestors.

Four of Cups – Rest does not turn into stagnancy as long as you make the choice to stay engaged instead of turning away from your feelings and interests.  Rest is healthy, and can help foster your gradual improvement as you begin to find yourself on the road to recovery.  Stagnancy is unhealthy and will hold you back.  They are not the same thing, so make sure you are aware and paying attention to which “wolf you feed” in this matter.

DECK USED:  THE UNCOMMON TAROT

Weekly Creativity Prompt – What You Feel

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Prompt: Draw a single random card from your favorite deck and share with us how the card makes you feel.

Tarot of the Hidden Realm - Page of SwordsOkay so my first feeling is the need to cover up her nipple.  I mean, I’m just sayin’, and I know it’s totally my upbringing but it just… yeah.   So anyway.  That aside…

What I see in this card is focus.  That keen focus that comes with a depth of concentration and investment to here everything else falls to the wayside and all that there is is this one single thing.

Some people call this type of focus “being in the zone” and others call it “flow”.  In fact I’m pretty sure that there’s a book specifically about “Flow” and how to harness it for your needs and purposes.  I think that some people find this mental space easily… and others have either never experienced it or do not find it easy to sink into that space at all.

I personally find this mental space often and I think that there are times when I find myself “missing time” that in fact what has happened is I have slipped into this “flow” of concentration and just forget to re-emerge for a time.  The rest of the world and my actions within it go on autopilot while I am focused so deeply on a concept or idea that I don’t even notice… because for me in that time, nothing else exists.

What this card makes me feel is familiarity.  An awareness of those times I have slid into that mind space, and a familiarity with it through observation of the figure in the card also lingering within “the zone” as I so often do when working on something I have a good deal of interest and investment in.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

Morning Bonus Read – Mercury Retrograde

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Under the Roses Lenormand - Mercury Rx Tarot Spread

What is the main theme of this Mercury Retrograde for me?

Clouds – This was actually the card I expected to hop out, as it is very clear that the theme of this Mercury Rx for me is all about the current major depressive episode I am going through from its descent to (we can hope) the beginning of climbing back out again.  I don’t have the expectation that I will be able to pull out of it so quickly, but this card gives me hope that my ascent might begin around the same time as the Mercury Rx comes to an end (around February 21st or there about, if I’m not mistaken).

How am I asked to honor my feelings and current Rx vibes?

Whip – It is important to remember that the self flagellation and dark inner narratives in your head are dangerous.  Respect their power and work on coming out on top by acknowledging their existence.  It is only through awareness that you can overcome their influences.  Stay focused on where you want to go and determined to make your way there as you move through the mire of your depression and you will eventually come out the victor over these challenges.

What am I asked to reflect on throughout Mercury Retrograde?

Crossroads – Now is the time to reflect on your choices.  Where do you want to go from here and how do you want to get there?  You have choices, even now in the middle of your depression.  Are you going to focus on doing the healthy things that will help you to climb out of the pit more quickly? Or sink into the mire and allow it to cradle you and eat away at your insides while it pretends to be comforting you?  You need to keep these things in mind as you go through this struggle so that you can recover as smoothly and easily as possible once the clouded darkness begins to ease its grip.

DECK USED:  UNDER THE ROSES LENORMAND

Morning Bonus Read – Responding to Change

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“The wheel of the year is tipping away from extreme and closer to balance. Explore this theme with your divination tools with some of the following questions.”

Whimsy Playing CardsWhat in my life is moving toward balance and away from an extreme at this time?

Jack of Diamonds – You are starting to get control over your negative thoughts and bring them back to center. This isn’t so much about the “bringing them back to center” part, which will happen on its own, but in taking that first step of awareness to what is going on and the conscious understanding that that negative inner narrative is your brain lying to you and not a reflection of reality.  As they say, being aware of the problem is the first step.

How is this affecting me mentally?

Six of Diamonds atop Queen of Diamonds – It is allowing kinder thoughts to have room to replace the abusive bitch in your head.  It is allowing you to be more generous with yourself and with what you are going through right now.

How is this affecting me emotionally?

King of Diamonds – It allows you to find the stability that you have been lacking, and see that there is a path forward.  You may not be able to grasp control at this time, but it gives you the ability to plan and strategize, which creates hope and allows you to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can’t see it just yet.

How is this affecting me physically?

Four of Hearts atop Five of Clubs – You are fighting against your need for the things that could help you feel more physically well.  The opportunities to get out and hike, or spend time in nature are being rejected as the depression makes everything feel unappealing.

How can I respond in a healthy way?

Three of Spades – Ride it out.  This is what is happening right now and you know from your past experiences with it that it’s a part of life.  And temporary.  Let it happen, ride it out.

DECK USED:  WHIMSY PLAYING CARDS

Transitioning from January to February

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Your Universe Month End Tarot Spread - January 2021

Individuality – Five of Pentacles Rx and Red Chestnut – You’re trying to pretend that everything is okay and put on a pretty face while in the grasp of your struggle.

Dependence – King of Swords, Oak atop Forget-Me-Not – You need to let go of your control issues for the time being and allow things to flow at their own pace.  Your strength of will and reason combines with your ability to manifest what you want in life is being challenged and you need to take a breath and release some control.  Nobody (living, dead, or otherwise) is going to judge you for that right now.

Creativity – Four of Cups and Aspen Rx – Stop allowing yourself to sink into the seductive feelings of pain and soul rotting darkness.  That embrace is not your friend, but if you allow yourself to wallow within it, it will encourage it to manifest more strongly in your reality and hold on even longer than it already is able.

Limitation – Three of Swords, Baby Blue Eyes, Chamomile – Complacency to the darkness encroaching upon you and the dark thoughts and influences that your mental imbalance.   These negative influences have the ability to take you deeper and deeper if you let them.

Change – King of Wands and Alpine Lily – Fight… even when it feels futile. Your will is strong and you’re a determined force.  It might not feel like fighting against the darkness helps anything, but it does. This is not a fight of brute force, but a battle of will and determination… the kind you are most adept at.

Sympathy – Three of Pentacles and Rosemary Rx – In the past you have resisted allowing people to take your responsibilities off your hand, forcing yourself to keep bearing the full weight upon your shoulders even when in the depths of the pit and surrounded by darkness. You  have learned from this experience that there is a better way.  It can be hard to follow through and allow others to bear some of the weight, but it’s important to your recovery.

Luck – Princess of Swords atop Five of Cups, Manzanita Rx – Remember that you can take what you’ve learned from past experiences and use that to overcome what is going on now. Not being able to find joy or pleasure in what usually brings these things to you is not a failing of yours but simply a symptom of the illness.  You know this… you have learned this… use this knowledge to overcome the negative whispers and dark feelings you are dealing with right now.

Power – The Moon atop Ten of Wands, Bleeding Heart – Don’t drop your burden on the ground, as this will cause uncertainty and problems down the road.  Hand it off to those that love and support you instead.  They are there to help you, they want to support you.  Don’t be so stubborn that you end up putting your responsibilities down so they aren’t being cared for instead of handing them over to those that want to help.

Responsibility – Ten of Cups and Chrysanthemum – You have the opportunity to start climbing to the light and feel good once again, but you have to pull your awareness out of the mire and misery and seek the light.  Don’t forget that it’s there just because you can’t see it right now.

Message from Spirit World / Mind’s World / Known World – This part of the reading takes a lot of focus and concentration to work through and I just can’t manage to get the mental clarity that I need at the moment to do them.  So I’m going to allow myself to skip these three prompts for this month.

Take Away – It is not surprising that the status of my state at this moment is centered around the depression that I’m experiencing.  It is the whole of my world at the moment and the advice here is sound. Let others help me with my responsibilities, keep fighting the depression and seeking the light, and make sure I do not listen to the seductive whispers in the darkness.  I will do my best to follow that advice.

DECKS USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT, FLOWER ESSENCES DECK VOL 1 & 2