Daily Meditation

The Return Trip

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Today’s meditation was about self-compassion and kindness. If focused on how when we look at our inner thoughts throughout the day the cycle around in our head, they are often berating and judging in nature.

The guided meditation was an activity focused on how to get better at being kind to yourself both during meditation and throughout the day.

Today’s draw is the King of Swords, which represents strength, authority, and a decidedly alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of logic, thought, and communication.

He is… me. The me beyond the influence of my depression. As the King of Cups is so very much the “you” that I see and admire, the King of Swords is an embodiment of what you express admiration for in me.

That is my moral compass, my need for fairness, my logical mind, and my efforts at impartial examination of things from all angles I can reach before coming to a decision.

This card is a reminder of where I am returning to as I pull out of my depression completely and recover from it effects and lingering sensitivities.

In the time following a depression there is a period of rebalancing. A time when I am more reactive, more sensitive, and less likely to pay attention to all aspects of a situation.

During these times it’s all about following my instincts to keep me on track as well as in my interactions with others. Then, over time, my mind kicks back into gear and I settle back into I far more logical approach, while my instinct and moral compass whisper in the background.

The King of Swords is an indication that this transformation is in the process of taking place and I am on my way back to my own sense of “normal”. My own, very personal type of balance.

Ideas Transformed Into Reality

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I did not get a chance to do meditation today.

Today’s draw is the Three of Pentacles, which is one my favorite cards, as it represents the manifestation of ideas into reality through creation.

It indicates that with focus, creativity, and determination you can bring something physical into existence that was once simple an idea or thought.

As today I am going to be shopping for the supplies I will need to re-caulk my bathtub (a project I’ve never done before, but that is desperately needed), I believe the Three of Pentacles appearance is guidance and encouragement.

Ive been feeling a bit of self-doubt concerning this project, and the Three of Pentacles is telling me that I CAN do this. It might involve a little bit of a learning curve, a little trial and error, but with the right tools and some determination and patience, I can do it.

A House On The Beach

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Today’s meditation was sixteen minutes and twenty-eight seconds, and focused on impermanence.

Impermanence is the thing that I focus on when I am in depression. It is my reminder that everything changes and that my depression is not forever but will also come to an end. This is also useful during moments of anxiety and stress.

Sometimes we clIng to the idea that something will last forever, or we struggle with changes as they come into in our lives.

But, the truth is that everything changes. Sometimes things change because they have a beginning, middle, and an end. Sometimes they change because they’re a part of a cycle. It’s part of life.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is a representation of a mothering alpha energy, personality , or person in the areas of emotions, creativity, and relationships.

It appears that the Queen of Cups likes to visit me quite often during these Daily Focus draws. Her presence is always welcome of course, as the lesson she’s trying to teach me is one that I struggle with.

That lesson is to feel your feelings. Listen to them instead of pushing them aside, and be kind to yourself when it comes to your emotions.

Unlike instinct, which she also can represent, emotions are a difficult thing for me to focus on and use as a guide. I have always felt that emotions are unpredictable, whereas as I perceive logic as more solid. I have trouble understanding why one would build a house on top of sand, rather than upon stone.

Maybe that’s part of the point she’s trying to make, though. Perhaps she is trying telling me that even if you don’t build your house on the sand, make sure that when you’re inside that house on the stones, you still look out the window at the beach and go out now and then to feel the sand between your toes.

And there it is…

The Queen of Cups is trying to tell me that it’s okay to feel my feelings, and that I can still be strong while listening to my emotions.

Letting Go

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Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and seven seconds, and focused on allowing thoughts to rise without judgement during one’s meditation practice, before then setting them aside and returning focus upon the breath.

This practice provides acknowledgment of the thoughts without allowing you to get lost in them. It felt a bit like floating in the ocean, the water lifting and lowering me with its movements, but on a mental plane instead of a physical one.

This activity was actually quite useful to me today. After last night’s discussion with you I’ve been feeling a bit stressed and worried. By allowing these thoughts to surface instead of just pushing them aside or suppressing them, it felt like I was dealing with them rather than trying to ignore them.

Today’s draw is the Four of Swords, which is a representation of rest, respite, and recovery (especially after chaos) in the areas pertaining to thought, logic, and communication.

The Four of Cups I drew yesterday was pushing me to deal with an issue that I really didn’t want to deal with. Today’s Four of Swords is saying that now that I’ve dealt with the issue I was stressing over through our discussion last night, it’s time to take a deep breath and ease my thoughts and worries.

After I shared with you last night I didn’t really feel relief, although I did feel that a weight was lifted. I’m not really sure how to explain that except that my worry continued on.

Both last night and this morning I’ve wavered over whether telling you was the right move, even though I should KNOW it is. And honestly, the milk is spilt now, so I don’t even know why I keep going over it in my mind.

The Four of Swords is telling me that I need to let go of these worries. I need to take a deep breath and just let what happens happen now that the bomb has dropped and chaos it entailed has come to an end.

Calm Within the Storm

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Today’s meditation was seventeen minutes and five seconds, and focused on confronting one’s feelings instead of running from them.

The method involves recognizing and naming your feeling of the moment, then “leaning in” to observe without thought or judgement (which I found quite difficult, actually).

Usually I wouldn’t have had that much to work with for this, but my immediate and uncomfortable fraction to today’s draw left me with plenty.

Today’s draw was the Four of Cups, and the card brought up a good amount of ugliness in my emotions today.   It did communicate a message, and bring up something that I really need to deal with, which is (I reluctantly admit) a good thing.

BUT, the point of the Daily Focus activity on this blog is to find a positive daily focus.   My reaction to the Four of Cups was too intense to find that positivity in it, so I’ve switched it up and am using an affirmation instead for today.

This quote by Sri Ravi Shankar is about meditation.  But, I believe it can be extended into daily life.   It’s important to remember that even when there is chaos, whether the chaos is internal or external, that a sliver of peace and calm can be found just by taking a moment and reaching for it.

After the draw today and my reaction to it, this is a good reminder for me that I need to reach for that peace and seek out that moment of serenity.  I need to take a breath, and let the stillness and quiet wash over me.

In the hours between my draw of the Four of Cups and my meditation, I’ve found a better, less anxiety ridden, place within myself by focusing on the quote. It seems to be just the guidance that I needed today.

Give and Take

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Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and nine seconds, and focused on catching yourself when you’re reacting to something without thought.

I don’t mean instinct. Rather, the meditation was about habitual reactions, and how they develop overtime through repetition into something we don’t even think about first.

The guidance was focused on catching yourself in the act of these habitual reactions, examining them, and then deciding whether they are justified, or if there is a different reaction that would serve you better either in the present moment, or next time if the moment has already passed.

Today’s draw is the Six of Pentacles, which is a card that represents abundance, generosity, charity, and sharing in the areas of resources, money, and the physical world.

This card can represent both sides of the spectrum on this theme, meaning that the seeker (me) can be either the one doing the giving, or the recipient.

I believe that the Six of Pentacles is telling me that everything is going to be okay. Stability wise, I mean. Financially.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my worries and my goals, that I forget that in most cases a deficit isn’t the end of the world. I’m not going to lose everything if I’m a few dollars short here and there once in a while, because I also have times when I’m a few dollars ahead.

This balance of give-and-take is natural. I just need to remember that when I am in the lows that I allow other people to help me, and that when I’m in my high points I am offering my help to others. In this way, a cycle of good energy and good intentions is created, and a theme of harmony and unity begins to flourish.