Daily Meditation

Give and Take

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Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and nine seconds, and focused on catching yourself when you’re reacting to something without thought.

I don’t mean instinct. Rather, the meditation was about habitual reactions, and how they develop overtime through repetition into something we don’t even think about first.

The guidance was focused on catching yourself in the act of these habitual reactions, examining them, and then deciding whether they are justified, or if there is a different reaction that would serve you better either in the present moment, or next time if the moment has already passed.

Today’s draw is the Six of Pentacles, which is a card that represents abundance, generosity, charity, and sharing in the areas of resources, money, and the physical world.

This card can represent both sides of the spectrum on this theme, meaning that the seeker (me) can be either the one doing the giving, or the recipient.

I believe that the Six of Pentacles is telling me that everything is going to be okay. Stability wise, I mean. Financially.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my worries and my goals, that I forget that in most cases a deficit isn’t the end of the world. I’m not going to lose everything if I’m a few dollars short here and there once in a while, because I also have times when I’m a few dollars ahead.

This balance of give-and-take is natural. I just need to remember that when I am in the lows that I allow other people to help me, and that when I’m in my high points I am offering my help to others. In this way, a cycle of good energy and good intentions is created, and a theme of harmony and unity begins to flourish.

Sustaining Balance

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Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and fourteen seconds, and focused on the judgment we give to those thoughts that cycle repetitively through our minds.

The meditation was about one’s inner-dialogue, and how instead of just accepting what our mind comes up with, sometimes we need to stop and take a moment to examine these thoughts. How it is important to make sure that these thoughts are true, instead of just the party line we have always bought into, thoughts filtered through our emotions, or simply if they are just too harsh for whatever reason.

During meditation I don’t really have a lot of emotional connection with my thoughts, as my thoughts are more mental pictures of random things. But, this is something that I struggle with outside of meditation where I judge myself far more harshly than I’m sure others ever do.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles. This card represents a strong but nurturing energy, personality, or person in the area of the physical world, finance, or resources.

The Queen of Pentacles often refers to a balance between one’s home responsibilities and one’s work responsibilities, and I believe that’s what it represents for me in today’s draw.

I have goals that are nearly within reach, and I have a lot going on in my work life right now But, the Queen of Pentacles is a reminder that I am needed at home as well. Life requires balance, and it is important that I keep that in mind so that I don’t let things fall out of place and end up neglected.

Understanding and Support

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Today’s meditation was eighteen minutes and sixteen seconds, and focused on awareness during meditation.

This meditation was a variation on using body scanning during meditation. It involves scanning your body from head to toe and then back up again very slowly as a form of focus during the meditation.

I did not doze! Although, my mind did wander quite a bit. Of course, as always, when I caught myself I would bring myself back to my breath and the body scan.

Today’s draw is the King of Cups for my daily focus. He is the representation of a strong alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of emotions, relationships, and creativity. The King of Cups is support and empathy, strength and understanding.

Lately I’ve found myself a little bit more impatient with people, and a little bit less understanding. A little bit less forgiving of their idiosyncrasies that bother me. I’ve let my fear of being hurt emotionally by others close me off from seeing their potential, their pain, and their needs.

I used to be far more open, and far less judging.

This card is a reminder that just because I may not always be comfortable with (or particularly like) a person doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy of my attention or my support. It’s a reminder that it is okay to open up, socialize, be sincere, and help people… and that I shouldn’t let fear of being hurt hold me back from these things.

Incidentally, I’ve always associated the King of Cups with you. That open personality that you have which draws people in and makes them feel safe and comfortable. Even when you don’t always know what to say, you always seem to find the right thing. Your heart is so big, and yet strength and that alpha energy within you is ever present in each word and every action.

Seeding the Garden of New Ideas

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Like yesterday, my morning was a bit hectic and inconvenient today. So, I drew my card first thing when I got up to give myself focus and food for thought throughout my day, but didn’t have time to meditate until this evening.

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and forty-nine seconds, and focused on letting go. Whether that be negative feelings, or thoughts that keep one up at night, etc.

I didn’t think this one applied to me very much, but now that it’s over I feel… better. I’m not sure what I let go exactly, but I definitely feel lighter.

The woman’s voice on the guided meditation was so soothing that I caught myself dozing off a few times. I definitely need a nap.

Today’s draw is the Ace of Swords. In the suit of intellect, communication, and logic, the Ace represents new beginnings, fresh insights, and the discovery of new truths. It can also be a powerful encouragement concerning new intellectual endeavors, projects concerning communication, etc.

I can’t help but see a strong correlation between the appearance of this card and this new project we’ve embarked on with this blog.

I know you are seeing benefits from what I’ve begun here, and I think that I see some of them as well. I’m more aware of myself and my inner dialogue throughout the day than I was before. And, I truly believe that this project made a profound impact on how I surfaced from my depression this time around.

I feel more… hopeful, too. And there’s no denying the benefits to our relationship, as it has opened up channels of communication that, following a depression, are usually much more difficult, awkward, and uncomfortable to get opened back up. Not to mention usually taking quite a bit more time? I’m pretty sure that’s also the case, because although I don’t really remember that part of things (or at least not much of it), this time feels… accelerated. And yet not in an overwhelming way.

SO… wandering thoughts aside, I feel like this card is a reminder that this blog and what I’m doing here is a good thing. The card was also a bit of a prompt to really look at the benefits mentioned above as well.

Striving Toward Excellence

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Although I drew my card this morning when I woke up, I was not able to fit in my meditation until this evening, so today’s post is a little late.

Today’s meditation was 14 minutes and 47 seconds, and focused on ‘riding the waves’ of thought during meditation rather than pushing them away.

Although it was supposed to be about riding the waves of thought, though, it was really all about emotion instead. I found this unfortunate, because I rarely have all that much emotion when in meditation. My intrusive thoughts are almost always visual (as in mental images) without an emotional connotation.

So, it ended up that the guided meditation didn’t exactly hit its mark for me today. I was remarkably relaxed through it today, though.

Today’s draw is the Eight of Pentacles, which is a representation of determination, purpose, strength, and progress in the areas of the material world, resources, and money.

This is telling me that I am making progress.  I may not FEEL like I am making progress, but I am.  It also teaches that striving for perfection is not necessarily a bad thing, and that pushing forward and striving towards excellence in my goals will continue to move me forward to their completion.

I feel like this card is an encouragement to keep striving in my business, but more specifically, that it refers to my plans concerning my mortgage.

I greatly desire to be mortgage-free.  For the first time in years, I am getting back a tax return this year, and I plan on using that tax return to pay off what’s left of my line of credit (and pay for my dental surgery that’s coming up next month).

Once my line of credit that I’d accumulated during my cancer treatments is paid off, I can then start directing the money I had been putting monthly towards it into the mortgage instead.

At that point, I will be looking at just over 6.5 years until I own my place outright.  Mortgage-free.  Yes please.

Choosing Paths

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Today’s meditation was 15 minutes and 48 seconds, and focused on letting go of things that you cannot change.

You know, like my depression? Or rather, my feelings of guilt over having left you behind and on your own during my depression, and my frustration with having lost time (and the memories of during that time) for over a month.

There’s really no point in holding onto these issues when there’s nothing that I can do about them. Holding onto them just holds me back and brings me down. I think I need to work on letting that frustration and guilt go.

Today’s card is the zero card in the Major Arcana… the Fool.

The Fool represents that place in new beginnings where many paths are laid out before you and you have yet to take your first step. This is a card of new beginnings that are filled with the bounty of possibilities and potential.

Sometimes in new beginnings it’s a good idea to think things out and make the logical choices, but the Fool card is an encouragement to follow one’s heart instead.

For me, following my heart always involves creativity on some level. This type of decision making is not really in my wheelhouse most of the time, because I have a tendency to lean towards logic and thought rather than the heart. (Not to be confused with following your instincts, which I excel at most of the time.) I always seem to view decisions based in the heart as the less responsible choices.

That said, whenever I make decisions with my heart, it seems to always have something to do with my creative endeavors. Whether that’s a new design that I’m working on, or a new idea I want to try out, or even in the directions that we go in within our role play.

So my focus for today, prompted by this card, will be to try and follow my heart more in my decision making, rather than immediately reaching for whatever logical options my head presents.