Daily Focus

Letting Go

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and seven seconds, and focused on allowing thoughts to rise without judgement during one’s meditation practice, before then setting them aside and returning focus upon the breath.

This practice provides acknowledgment of the thoughts without allowing you to get lost in them. It felt a bit like floating in the ocean, the water lifting and lowering me with its movements, but on a mental plane instead of a physical one.

This activity was actually quite useful to me today. After last night’s discussion with you I’ve been feeling a bit stressed and worried. By allowing these thoughts to surface instead of just pushing them aside or suppressing them, it felt like I was dealing with them rather than trying to ignore them.

Today’s draw is the Four of Swords, which is a representation of rest, respite, and recovery (especially after chaos) in the areas pertaining to thought, logic, and communication.

The Four of Cups I drew yesterday was pushing me to deal with an issue that I really didn’t want to deal with. Today’s Four of Swords is saying that now that I’ve dealt with the issue I was stressing over through our discussion last night, it’s time to take a deep breath and ease my thoughts and worries.

After I shared with you last night I didn’t really feel relief, although I did feel that a weight was lifted. I’m not really sure how to explain that except that my worry continued on.

Both last night and this morning I’ve wavered over whether telling you was the right move, even though I should KNOW it is. And honestly, the milk is spilt now, so I don’t even know why I keep going over it in my mind.

The Four of Swords is telling me that I need to let go of these worries. I need to take a deep breath and just let what happens happen now that the bomb has dropped and chaos it entailed has come to an end.

Calm Within the Storm

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was seventeen minutes and five seconds, and focused on confronting one’s feelings instead of running from them.

The method involves recognizing and naming your feeling of the moment, then “leaning in” to observe without thought or judgement (which I found quite difficult, actually).

Usually I wouldn’t have had that much to work with for this, but my immediate and uncomfortable fraction to today’s draw left me with plenty.

Today’s draw was the Four of Cups, and the card brought up a good amount of ugliness in my emotions today.   It did communicate a message, and bring up something that I really need to deal with, which is (I reluctantly admit) a good thing.

BUT, the point of the Daily Focus activity on this blog is to find a positive daily focus.   My reaction to the Four of Cups was too intense to find that positivity in it, so I’ve switched it up and am using an affirmation instead for today.

This quote by Sri Ravi Shankar is about meditation.  But, I believe it can be extended into daily life.   It’s important to remember that even when there is chaos, whether the chaos is internal or external, that a sliver of peace and calm can be found just by taking a moment and reaching for it.

After the draw today and my reaction to it, this is a good reminder for me that I need to reach for that peace and seek out that moment of serenity.  I need to take a breath, and let the stillness and quiet wash over me.

In the hours between my draw of the Four of Cups and my meditation, I’ve found a better, less anxiety ridden, place within myself by focusing on the quote. It seems to be just the guidance that I needed today.

Give and Take

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and nine seconds, and focused on catching yourself when you’re reacting to something without thought.

I don’t mean instinct. Rather, the meditation was about habitual reactions, and how they develop overtime through repetition into something we don’t even think about first.

The guidance was focused on catching yourself in the act of these habitual reactions, examining them, and then deciding whether they are justified, or if there is a different reaction that would serve you better either in the present moment, or next time if the moment has already passed.

Today’s draw is the Six of Pentacles, which is a card that represents abundance, generosity, charity, and sharing in the areas of resources, money, and the physical world.

This card can represent both sides of the spectrum on this theme, meaning that the seeker (me) can be either the one doing the giving, or the recipient.

I believe that the Six of Pentacles is telling me that everything is going to be okay. Stability wise, I mean. Financially.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my worries and my goals, that I forget that in most cases a deficit isn’t the end of the world. I’m not going to lose everything if I’m a few dollars short here and there once in a while, because I also have times when I’m a few dollars ahead.

This balance of give-and-take is natural. I just need to remember that when I am in the lows that I allow other people to help me, and that when I’m in my high points I am offering my help to others. In this way, a cycle of good energy and good intentions is created, and a theme of harmony and unity begins to flourish.

Sustaining Balance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and fourteen seconds, and focused on the judgment we give to those thoughts that cycle repetitively through our minds.

The meditation was about one’s inner-dialogue, and how instead of just accepting what our mind comes up with, sometimes we need to stop and take a moment to examine these thoughts. How it is important to make sure that these thoughts are true, instead of just the party line we have always bought into, thoughts filtered through our emotions, or simply if they are just too harsh for whatever reason.

During meditation I don’t really have a lot of emotional connection with my thoughts, as my thoughts are more mental pictures of random things. But, this is something that I struggle with outside of meditation where I judge myself far more harshly than I’m sure others ever do.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles. This card represents a strong but nurturing energy, personality, or person in the area of the physical world, finance, or resources.

The Queen of Pentacles often refers to a balance between one’s home responsibilities and one’s work responsibilities, and I believe that’s what it represents for me in today’s draw.

I have goals that are nearly within reach, and I have a lot going on in my work life right now But, the Queen of Pentacles is a reminder that I am needed at home as well. Life requires balance, and it is important that I keep that in mind so that I don’t let things fall out of place and end up neglected.

Understanding and Support

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was eighteen minutes and sixteen seconds, and focused on awareness during meditation.

This meditation was a variation on using body scanning during meditation. It involves scanning your body from head to toe and then back up again very slowly as a form of focus during the meditation.

I did not doze! Although, my mind did wander quite a bit. Of course, as always, when I caught myself I would bring myself back to my breath and the body scan.

Today’s draw is the King of Cups for my daily focus. He is the representation of a strong alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of emotions, relationships, and creativity. The King of Cups is support and empathy, strength and understanding.

Lately I’ve found myself a little bit more impatient with people, and a little bit less understanding. A little bit less forgiving of their idiosyncrasies that bother me. I’ve let my fear of being hurt emotionally by others close me off from seeing their potential, their pain, and their needs.

I used to be far more open, and far less judging.

This card is a reminder that just because I may not always be comfortable with (or particularly like) a person doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy of my attention or my support. It’s a reminder that it is okay to open up, socialize, be sincere, and help people… and that I shouldn’t let fear of being hurt hold me back from these things.

Incidentally, I’ve always associated the King of Cups with you. That open personality that you have which draws people in and makes them feel safe and comfortable. Even when you don’t always know what to say, you always seem to find the right thing. Your heart is so big, and yet strength and that alpha energy within you is ever present in each word and every action.

Seeding the Garden of New Ideas

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Like yesterday, my morning was a bit hectic and inconvenient today. So, I drew my card first thing when I got up to give myself focus and food for thought throughout my day, but didn’t have time to meditate until this evening.

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and forty-nine seconds, and focused on letting go. Whether that be negative feelings, or thoughts that keep one up at night, etc.

I didn’t think this one applied to me very much, but now that it’s over I feel… better. I’m not sure what I let go exactly, but I definitely feel lighter.

The woman’s voice on the guided meditation was so soothing that I caught myself dozing off a few times. I definitely need a nap.

Today’s draw is the Ace of Swords. In the suit of intellect, communication, and logic, the Ace represents new beginnings, fresh insights, and the discovery of new truths. It can also be a powerful encouragement concerning new intellectual endeavors, projects concerning communication, etc.

I can’t help but see a strong correlation between the appearance of this card and this new project we’ve embarked on with this blog.

I know you are seeing benefits from what I’ve begun here, and I think that I see some of them as well. I’m more aware of myself and my inner dialogue throughout the day than I was before. And, I truly believe that this project made a profound impact on how I surfaced from my depression this time around.

I feel more… hopeful, too. And there’s no denying the benefits to our relationship, as it has opened up channels of communication that, following a depression, are usually much more difficult, awkward, and uncomfortable to get opened back up. Not to mention usually taking quite a bit more time? I’m pretty sure that’s also the case, because although I don’t really remember that part of things (or at least not much of it), this time feels… accelerated. And yet not in an overwhelming way.

SO… wandering thoughts aside, I feel like this card is a reminder that this blog and what I’m doing here is a good thing. The card was also a bit of a prompt to really look at the benefits mentioned above as well.