Fucking Up
Not enough time
no organization
can fit more minutes
in a day
and pushing harder
only breaks me down
chipping away
sacrificing
pieces of self
to a greater good
am I even the same man
you once understood?
every day you hurt
just a little more
and the fight
becomes a struggle
to not walk out the door
because what am I doing
but hurting us again
compounding your pain
with mine
over and over again
I’m failing on repeat
never enough
and as tears fall I wonder…
Should I rip the bandaid off?
Should I rip out my heart?
Would he be better off?
Twisting the Leaf 
I love you, beautiful boy. I need you
Walking away from me? Walking out on fifteen beautiful years together?
That’s never, ever the answer
I love you. I am in love with you, man
The only thing I can’t survive is losing you
Losing you? That would fucking destroy me….
I need you, baby
I’m sorry that I’m too needy
I’m sorry that I’m too demand
I’m so sorry that I hurt you
Please don’t leave me man
Don’t throw me away….
You ARE what makes me happy
There is no one else. There can be no one else…
I’m IN LOVE with YOU. Only you. Always you.
We’ll get through this, baby
Together
Just don’t let go
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