Blonde Beauty
So beautiful
and so strong
so lovely
and terrifying
Admired
from a distance
there’s nothing
to fear
and yet
don’t get
too close
to those hooves.
Month: November 2020
Morning Bonus Read – Releasing Chaos
What is disrupting my peace of mind?
Two of Pentacles atop Eight of Swords
I spent a good deal of time in the fall trying to run away from my thoughts and feelings about switching from the emotional growth of the summer to the responsibilities and overwhelm of the holiday rush. Unfortunately, this created a bit of a procrastination situation that has developed into a harder time with balancing work and home now that the holiday rush has arrived.
Not being as prepared as I’d like to be (even though it’s my own damned fault) is definitely disrupting my peace of mind.
Why am I still allowing this to affect me?
Five of Cups
Because I regret fucking up. I’m experiencing the repercussions of the procrastination I indulged in during the fall. I do understand that I’m going to need to let this disappointment in myself go, though, as it will only cause me another hurdle during an already difficult and busy time.
How can I release what no longer serves me?
Five of Swords atop The Fool
The foundation of success lies in letting go and freeing myself to fully dive into the enthusiasm of the rush. There is pleasure and adventure in the process if I allow it… so let go of the tension and the tightness and the self-recriminations, and dive in.
DECK USED: THE ELLIS DECK TAROT 5TH EDITION
The Secrets We Keep
Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches. The topic of the guided part of the meditation was gratitude, and how it is possible to find peace and contentment in the moment if you stop comparing what you have against what you don’t.
I think that this is a really valid concept, in a general sense. Maybe in a more than general sense, although I think that there are some situations (extreme situations) where even without comparison to something better or expectation of something better, you just cannot find contentment or bliss in the moment.
In general, though? I agree with this concept. Most people experience discontent specifically because they are comparing what they have to what others have or to what they want, or think they should have.
Today’s draw is the High Priestess card, which is traditionally an interpretation of strong inner knowledge, intuition, esoteric spirituality, and the subconscious.
The only thing that really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the coloring, and I’m not sure that there’s a message there so much as that the shift from purple to yellow feels… incongruous.
I take that back. The longer that I look at this imagery today (and I have returned back to looking at it many, many times today) is that her eyes appear to be red, and yet her posture is very straight and still and proper. It is another “clash” to me, but one that speaks of an inner fire not visible from the exterior.
Sometimes, we have to stay silent on our beliefs. Sometimes, for our own safety, it’s important to be innocuous and keep your thoughts, belief, and knowledge to yourself. I too have been exposed to these times… and the card here is a warning to watch out for them. Don’t be careless and have it result in becoming a victim.
DECK USED: TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT
LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Uranus Question: Something that truly makes me unique, or something that can support my individuality.
Something That Truly Makes Me Unique
Prince of Pentacles atop Six of Swords – My ability to know what is right for me and go after it while leaving behind what isn’t working. I see so many people that are unable to figure out what is right for them and stew in confusion and indecision whenever such opportunities to do so are presented to them. It’s something… I am unable to grasp.
My question is…. it that really so common that my knowing what’s right for me and discarding what isn’t becomes something unique?
Something That Can Support My Individuality
Queen of Swords atop Six of Pentacles – Sharing with others my thoughts and perspectives in an effort to guide them on their own path. This doesn’t just support my own individuality, but helps others in theirs as well. I don’t expect anyone to follow in my footsteps or believe what I believe. Instead, I encourage others to hear what I have to say and choose what sounds and feels right for them.
DECK USED: DRUIDCRAFT TAROT
#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).
King of Swords – There was once a crotchety old man living in a care home that was extremely good at making people believe what he wanted them to believe and go after what he wanted them to go after. He ruled over the home like a king would rule over his kingdom, and everyone, including the nurses, both admired his strength and knowledge, but feared his wrath.
Queen of Pentacles – One day a new nurse came to the care home, and she moved around the place like a breath of fresh air, caring for everyone with a kindness that was also steady and strong and took no shit. Every time he would try to get her to go against the rules and bring him ice cream even though he’s diabetic, or let him smoke out the window instead of going outside, she would put him back in his place with firm strength and love.
Eight of Cups – He watched her as she worked, trying to figure her out, and the more he watched her the more he realized how much she gave of herself every day. He realized that she gave so much more than she ever received from anyone, and especially him. With each day this realization sank in, he became less of a crotchety old man with her and more of a friendly father figure and in time they came to not just like each other, but love each other like family.
DECK USED: MULTI-STABBER TAROT
Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What is 2020’s greatest opportunity for my personal growth?
Reading Summary: Finding ways to incorporate more positivity and joy (The Sun) into the exploration of new projects (Ace of Wands) and new opportunities (Ace of Disks).
Take Away: This is one of the issues I’ve been working at throughout the year. It’s about positivity. It’s about optimism. And that is something that I struggle with. But as I’ve worked this spring and summer on my emotional growth, a part of that has included finding more joy and more positivity in how I view the world around me. I don’t think that this is a journey that I have completed by any means (thus the Aces), but rather it is the first step. The inkling of possibility that will allow for growth with some tending and attention.
DECK USED: MARY EL TAROT 1ST EDITION
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What have I learned so far from my life challenges?
The Hermit – Self reflection is good, but retreat is not always healthy. There is a fine balance between the light and the darkness, and it’s important to keep that balance intact so that when you need alone time it can be healthy alone time that is good for you and assists in the centering and grounding you need. When the light and the dark are not in balance, that alone time becomes self destructive.
Six of Cups atop The Hierophant – Sharing my experience and knowledge with others creates positive memories for me and a positive experience to look back on later. These memories help to put distance between myself and the unpleasant memories from earlier in my life, providing me with positive ones to focus on instead that can build me up (as opposed to the negative ones that try to tear me down).
The Fool – It’s okay to indulge in playing the fool sometimes. Just don’t overdo it. Being silly and optimistic isn’t something I find particularly easy the majority of the time. I’ve learned, though, that there’s nothing wrong with it in those times I’m able to find it and sink into it.
DECK USED: SWEENEY TAROT
Gideon’s Challenge
Silent Reverence
Lie upon
the ground
and look up
to blue sky
filled with ripples
like small waves.
As cold damp
sinks
past clothing
imagine skipping
over ripples
like dancing
over rocks
in a smooth pond.
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
New Moon in Scorpio – November 2020
Yesterday was the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us. Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.
1. What do you need to face that you’ve been avoiding?
The Fool atop Knight of Cups – That moody bullshit you’ve been feeling that’s making you drag your feet needs to stop. It’s time to step forward into the spirit of the fool and embrace a sense of optimism and enthusiasm that will allow you to bound forward with alacrity rather than slog onward with a feeling of reluctance.
2. What secrets need to come into the light?
Five of Swords – You’re far more ruthless than you allow others to see. Your moral compass helps to keep this in check, but the temptation to do what needs done no matter the cost in order to win does rear its ugly head from time to time and with your emotions all stirred up? It shows up more often than you’d like.
3. What conversation needs to be had?
Five of Wands – The hard ones. The difficult ones. The ones that turn into clashes because of how strongly you feel about it. You work so hard to avoid confrontation that sometimes you forsake these topics of conversation when you should really speak out and allow your feelings and opinions to be expressed clearly.
4. What do I need to forgive in myself?
Knight of Wands – There have been a number of times in your life where you have acted impulsively and felt the sting of repercussions as a result. Stop beating yourself up over these things and using them to keep yourself “in line”. Enthusiasm is allowed and so is the occasional impulsivity. It’s a part of the learning process.
5. What shadow aspect requires integration?
Ten of Pentacles atop Two of Swords – You need to remember that a lot of your need and drive towards stability and security comes from the past and the injuries that you suffered there. They influences the decisions that you make and the desire for that stability you crave. This isn’t a bad thing, but needs acknowledgement in order to find balance.
DECK USED: OAK ASH & THORN TAROT
Be Kind to Yourself
Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching. The topic of today’s guided meditation was about living in the present instead of allowing plans for the future or thoughts of the past to distract you away from the pleasure and joy of what you could be experiencing in the moment.
This is something that I struggle with quite a bit, although I’ve found that meditation and my time in the forest, as well as my time using my camera, all help me in this. It’s hard to find that focus on the present. But in those moments? It’s easier.
The meditation’s guide says that the more you take in these moments in the ways you are able, the more you are able to then carry them out into your life in other ways as well. I hope that’s true, as I find a great deal of peace in those moments, and I’d love to be able to spread that peace further into my life.
Today’s draw is the King of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, logic, education, intellect, and communication.
What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the positioning of the sword’s tip. I’m not sure if this was the intention of the artist or not, but the sword tip looks like it’s about to impale the fox.
The fox is a good symbol for the King of Swords, who is someone that is both cunning and intelligent, and good at strategy and inspiring others. This makes my thought about the fox being at risk having to do more with the ruthless expression and posture of the man in the image, rather than the fox itself.
There is a time and a place for ruthlessness, but there are also many more times (and places) when such energy is unnecessary and unwarranted. I am not particularly ruthless with others, but… I can’t say the same for myself. And what I see in this card is exactly that.
I see a man that has become ruthless with himself, and is ready to kill off the fun loving part of himself. He believes that in killing off this part of himself, he can become even smarter, even more powerful, and even more clever. Instead, by killing this part of himself off, he will become less… not more.
The message here is to be kind to myself.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE
#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #3
Fate – Five of Gods – You are left on my own to struggle in the absence of a direction that would move your feet forward. By having your own autonomy to move as you see fit, you allow your spirit sustenance. We all die in the end, but you are willing to earn what you need to survive and thrive until that time comes.
Destiny – Hierophant – The element of destiny is influencing your life in that it is there to teach you. You are the perpetual student and although destiny does not control every step you take and every thing you do, its lessons are a constant companion at your side on each step of your path.
Chance – Two of Nibelungs – Chance is a cruel taskmaster in your life and crashes down around you in unfortunate and unpleasant ways like waves upon a shore. There is no balance, and there is no kindness. Only trials you will either buckle under, or overcome.
DECK USED: RING CYCLE TAROT
Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What physical, daily routines and habits should I introduce in order to help me find better balance in my life?
Knight of Wands atop Wheel of Fortune – Get out into nature, no matter rain or shine.
That would be an amazing thing if it was something I could do daily, and perhaps after the holiday season I can work on that becoming more of a reality. Right now, though? I’ll just have to aim for going out into nature as much as possible… although the “no matter if it’s rain or shine” part is not a problem at all. Weather rarely is a dissuading factor in whether I’m going into the woods or not. Mosquitoes on the other hand… yeah.
The Magician atop The Lovers Rx – Use the tools at your disposal to make sure that you’re making good choices and not sabotaging yourself.
Self sabotage is a real problem for me, and ties into my self-destructive tendencies. It’s one of those things I have to watch out for and do my best to keep track of. And that includes my less recognized but no less relevant self-sabotaging behaviors.
Two of Cups – Make sure you’re connecting with your loved ones and seeking their help.
This ties in to the previous cards in that a part of my tools to help me with my self sabotaging behavior are my friends and loved ones. That is not the only way in which they help me, though. As there is also the emotional support they provide, and the actual physical help that they provide in getting things done, which is extremely important in and of itself at this time of the year.
DECK USED: SCORPIO SEA TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is the one problem I would like to solve in my life?
Reading Summary: I want to find the control within myself (The Emperor) to be able to see beyond my pessimistic ways (Four of Cups) into a different perspective (The Hanged Man).
Take Away: The one problem that I would like to solve in my life (at least at this time) is my pessimism. Not that I entirely want it to go away, as I think that a good dose of pessimism is healthy and keeps you safe. But, I want to see more than just that. I want to see other angles. Positive angles. And ultimately, a more rounded view where my pessimism is just a small part of the whole rather than the star of the show.
Twisting the Leaf 