Not Okay

I… am not okay. I felt myself sliding down the walls of the pit and I clawed at the walls to slow the fall. I thought I’d managed to catch myself and cling to the side…. and then I slid further still. I am not okay. I know this. But I know, too…. that I will be. Eventually.

It is a game of patience. Of waiting. Of remembering that my mind is lying to me, that all the painful whispers picking at my soul are not fact but fiction. I haven’t been this deep for two years now.

Please… please don’t last until April like the last time. Please let me be able to climb those walls back up to the light again soon. Please.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

The Dying Soul

Darkness
and ripples
of gray
swirl above
and I trip
over them
again and again
until knees
and hands
are bloody
and the soul
is raw
and tears flow
to blend
with the rain

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

The Shadows

Standing
within the shadows
I see the light
and yet
it is out
of my reach
beyond the stretch
of my fingertips
larger than life
and
I am unable
to taste
it’s warmth
on my skin

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Concealing Chaos

Tangled up
a chaotic mess
its volume
overpowers order
and swallows whole
organization
causing even that
which is
in front of your face
to disappear
as it is swallowed
by the chaos
looming
in the background

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Taking a Rest

Under boughs of
sharp tipped needles
the ground is soft
with spongy moss
and piles
of shedded debris
from the towering
branches above
this shelter
is my happy place
where hours
are spent lying upon
fragrant softness
looking up through
shades of green

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Stillness

Let’s sit a spell
and watch
clouds travel
over calm waters
like little boats
that don’t make ripples
Stay perfectly still
and the silence
will fade
to be replaced
by soft sounds
of foragers seeking
tasty treats
but stop at the
water’s edge
for a drink.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography