using tarot for guidance

Claiming Control

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IMG_7119Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another guided meditation with interval timer.  The guided meditation today also included a chime which was intended to help keep the mind returning to the present and the breath.  This is because the topic of the guided meditation was just that.

That is to say, the topic was about sinking into the present and not allowing fixation with the past or the future to diminish your pleasure in the moment.  The thing is?  Most of humanity has a tendency to do just that.  To either get lost in thoughts of the past and memories, or distracted by plans for the future and daydreams.   These distractions take our mind away from the present, and make it difficult to fully enjoy all that the present has to offer.

Part of mindfulness meditation is the effort to train your mind to spend more time in the present, so that we can then carry that mindfulness of the present forward outside of meditation and into your day to day lives.

Tarot of Haunted House - Queen of WandsToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is a receptive alpha energy, personality or person in the area of one’s drive, passionate interests, enthusiasms, and willpower.  This often translates into themes that have to do with determination, confident independence, and strong figures that encourage the drive and ambitions of others.

One of the lesser known interpretations of the Queen of Wands lies in the concept of dominant sensuality, as in the blend of dominance and sensuality.   And that is what I see in the imagery of this card today.  I see a confident woman filled with strength and aware of her power and allure.   I see control in her hold on the trident of flames, and sensuality in the piano behind her (that might be just me because of my synesthesia).

The message here is about owning your power.  It’s about knowing your strengths and playing to them instead of disregarding them as useless or yourself as unworthy.  The message in this card is about making sure I know to step into tomorrow with confidence and determination, and place myself through my behavior and my inner strength in a place of power and control… thus owning that control rather than allowing my aunt to have it.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Ask your cards for something you are destined to explore or face. Draw as many cards as you see fit. Set an affirmation and conclude your reading with “… and so it is.”

Murder of Crows TarotSomething I am Destined to Explore/Face

When I look in the mirror, what do I see?  Do I see the man that I am now? Or the child I used to be?  (Six of Cups)
When I step into my entrepreneurial spark and allow it to fill my focus and time, do I carry with me the strength of the man I am?  Or do I hear my father’s cruel bark? (Ace of Wands)
Instead of listening to that voice of old, it’s time to learn a different way. I need to find the optimism I’ve lost and a way to inject joy into my work… something I had always been discourage from doing in my youth. (The Sun)

Affirmation

By collaborating with others, they bring support into the equation, and allow room to foster joy.  Let them help.  Let them provide that spark of pleasure, and allow them to give me the space I need to breathe and lighten my heart that had once been caged.   So it will be…. and thus so it is.

DECK USED:  MURDER OF CROWS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #1
Question: How can I give myself more space for my emotions, even during the busy time?

Curio TarotReading Summary: This is a learning process (The Hierophant).

The two left cards look into the past, but the wand in the center leans into the future. This speaks to me about how my lack of motivation (Four of Cups) and the desire to bump that motivation into high gear (Queen of Wands) both live in the past, but the practical advice on actually moving forward into my goals and allowing my emotions to have their own space does not lie back there, it lives in the future (tip of the wand in the Queen of Wands pointing to the right).

There is a hint of blue in the first two cards, one over the cup being ignored, and one upon the forehead of the Queen.  This blue feels like the scars my past treatment of myself have created both on my emotions (the cup) as well as my inner dialogue (Queen’s head).

The Hierophant looks into the future and leans in that direction… but his hand is palm up in the direction of the past, as if to indicate that the past needs to be held back or to be given a pause.

Take Away:  To give myself room to feel my emotions (even during the busy time) I need to leave my past in the past. This applies to my past habits, but also the treatment and events that taught me those habits in the first place.  It’s only by allowing the past to be in the past.  This isn’t about burying the past, but rather about accepting where it should live.

DECK USED:  CURIO TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How will the lesson of staying focused on balance, instead of allowing old habits of overworking to have free reign, impact my life?

Hephoe Tapo

Reading Summary: It will allow me to have more focus on my work (Eight of Pentacles) without it damaging my intuitive abilities (High Priestess Rx)… which in turn will allow me to find a more stable center (Queen of Pentacles) and move forward towards my ambitions with clarity (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  When I overwork myself, it has a habit of fizzling out a good portion of my intuitive side.   Things begin to feel unstable and I begin to feel lost and off center like I’m fumbling around drunk in the dark.

By staying focused on balance instead of allowing old work habits to rise up and take control, it gives me the opportunity to avoid being overwhelmed even while I continue with my work, allowing me to have that intuitive connection, stability, and direction that is lacking when I am flirting with burnout.

DECK USED:  HEPHOE TAPO

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How important is my spiritual altar to me?

Trionfi della Luna

Reading Summary: It’s more of a reminder of tradition (The Hierophant), than something that I use all the time (Three of Swords). But, it has its place in my journey and in keeping me grounded, as well as in making me feel that I have what I need (Nine of Coins).

Take Away:  I don’t use my altar all that often.  I mean… daily for my daily devotional, but I don’t really need an altar to do that devotional.  Aside from my devotional?  I don’t use it at all actually. My spellcraft is not done at my altar, my research and studies are not done there either, nor do my rituals take place there other than the already mentioned daily devotional.

Ultimately, it is a beautiful spot that is a soothing display of my faith and my values.  I enjoy it and the centered and grounded feeling that standing before it provides, and its beauty as well… but I wouldn’t call it necessary.

DECK USED:  TRIONFI DELLA LUNA

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

The Abandoned Oracke, Mildred Payne's Pocket Oracle, Kult Divinity Lost Tarot, Ludy Lescot Tarot

Earth – Queen of Cups, The Beggar, Pentacle – Sometimes, to get what you need, you have to tug on people’s heartstrings. Manipulation has its place in life, and if you’re using it wisely and kindly, it can help yourself and others in positive growth. Make sure before you move to use this type of tactic that you are using it for the right reasons and that it doesn’t niggle at your moral compass.

Air – Nine of Cups, The Beast, Arrow, Fish – Don’t allow worries about losing your progress and pessimism for the future to disrupt the positive growth you have going on and the potential for positive future progress still on the horizon. Keep your “eye on the ball” and stay positive.

Water – Six of Swords atop Ace of Pentacles, Revenge, Harp – Do not allow yourself to pick yourself apart over lost opportunities that you chose to walk away from.  Some of those lost opportunities may come into sharper focus this week, as will the choices that you made that ended up making those opportunities “lost”.  Instead of falling into the tempting habit of abusing yourself for these choices and missed opportunities, chose a more serene and forgiving approach.

Fire – Eight of Pentacles, The Sculpture, Frog –  Negativity is really working hard this week to slip in and taint your view of your skills and your work. Doubts and insecurities are the dark secret you hold in your heart. Take care not to let these feelings bleed into your creative works. It can happen just as happiness and optimism can, and just as all the positive intentions can, if you allow it.  Take care that you are watchful and making sure only good goes into those pieces you make.

Waning – Togarini and Yesod – The Yesod card hearkens back to the advice given in the Fire position of this spread.  The advice here is to focus upon moving away from bullying myself into moving forward into creative endeavors when I’m not feeling it, and thus polluting these endeavors with avarice and dark feelings of discontent.  It is better to step away than put out negativity into the world through the pollution of my my art.

Waxing – Anthropos and Nahemoth – The Anthropos card is a sign of an internal awakening and with the Death Angel card atop of it what is seen here is the advice that if I wish to purge the corruption in my energy, I need to get out into nature more. I don’t think I got enough time out in the forest over the summer months, and it is creating an underlying effect that is hidden but there.  Make sure to take some time this week to get out into nature and allow the natural energies there to flow through your own to cleans out the fog and cobwebs.

Take Away – The message this week is a repeat of what I have heard from the cards again and again over the past few days.  It’s about staying positive and not allowing my negative inner dialogue to seep in and screw with my head or my creativity.  On top of this warning, there is also a reminder that my connection with the earth and nature is the way to clear out and loosen internal knots and the fog of negative influences within myself.  I need to make sure I utilize this connection this week.

DECKS USED: LUDY LESCOT TAROT, KULT DIVINITY LOST TAROT, THE ABANDONED ORACLE, MILDRED PAYNE’S POCKET ORACLE

Frowns Can Be Infectious Too

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IMG_7104Today’s meditation was ten minutes in length and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.  I can’t honestly say that I paid all that much attention to the guided part of the meditation today, and it might be time to switch back to non-guided meditations for a bit since I seem to have toned out the voice entirely through a good part of the meditation.

The part that I did hear was about not allowing reactivity and/or anxiety to spur you into making impulsive decisions and snap judgements. Instead, in those moments, it is a time to pause and take a moment to process.

Madam Lydia Wilhelmmina's Tarot - The SunToday’s draw is is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of optimism, joy, playfulness, and positive opportunities. It’s about all those upbeat things associated with fun, positivity, and success as well as youthful exuberance.

I don’t see much of anybody having all that much fun int his photo.  One kid’s looking back at the eldest with black eyes like there’s a serious problem, and the other is in the process of trying to squirm off their seat. It’s a family photoshoot gone wrong, and I feel like the contrast between the card’s imagery and its traditional meaning is where the message lies in today’s card.

The message here is to not let other’s attitudes or a crap-ass time drag you down into a place of pessimism and displeasure. Everyone has seen the truly optimistic as they move through the sludge of a bad day.  They remain optimistic even in the face of road blocks and naysayers.  Take a page from their book and keep your head up and a smile in your heart.

DECK USED:  MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: A thought, dream, or hope I am asked to work on.

Tarot of Vampyres - The World and TemperanceReading Summary: The foundation of transformation and growth (The World) is patience and moderation (Temperance).

Take Away:  Transformation is the thought, the dream, and the hope in this reading.  I truly desire to change how I’ve been handling my work and responsibilities (vs.) my self care over the majority of my life. I’ve made a lot of big leaps this year in that direction. 

The thing is, though?  It is important to remember is that transformation doesn’t happen overnight. It’s something you work at a little at a time, adjusting again and again along the way.  And then one day you look back and realize you’ve made it to an entirely different place than the one you were in when you started.  

Even as I track my progress, I need to keep in mind that it’s okay to take my time.  It’s okay to backslide now and then, just as long as I catch myself and continue forward.  This effort is not a sprint but a journey and it’s going to take time and patience as I move along that path.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF VAMPYRES

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs… revealed / concealed / discarded

XIII TarotRevealed – Knave of Cups – Sometimes when I express my emotions, I feel as if I’m speaking into a bucket. My own voice reverberates back at me, but that’s the only feedback I get.  I struggle with my emotions, even the good ones… even now.  I struggle with being in touch with them, with expressing them clearly, and with understanding them.  Sometimes I have no idea what the emotions I feel actually are or what the words are to express them. I know that this is a part of the learning process, but this is my confession.  My vulnerability on this path of emotional growth revealed.   I hate feeling lost and confused…. and sometimes on this journey, those feelings are the most overwhelming of them all.

Concealed – Seven of Wands atop Ace of Swords – I need to make sure that I’m fighting back against my negative inner dialogue as it tries to dig in and get a handhold.  Every time those fingers curl on the edge of that rocky shelf, I need to make sure I’m smashing them back.  This battle isn’t really something that needs sharing with others, as speaking what that negative inner voice is saying aloud will only give the words more power.  Instead, remember that it is important to pay attention and stay on the defensive with that pessimistic voice.  Be diligent and keep it in line.

Discarded – Six of Pentacles – You spend a massive amount of time throughout the year focused on others, giving your time to helping others and making time for others to come to you.  At this time when you’re moving into the holiday rush?  It’s just not the time for this sort of thing.  You need to be focused on yourself and your business and not worry so much about others.  You can go back to being your generous and giving self again after the holiday rush has come to an end.

DECK USED:  XIII TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the significance on my journey of the lesson revealed yesterday?

Twisted Tarot Tales - The Moon, Page of Swords

Reading Summary: Holy crap to the double moon cards. Your uncertainties and fears (double Moons indicating an overwhelming power in these concepts) can lead to misguided thoughts and bad ideas to get interjected in your learning process (Page of Swords… partially based off imagery).

Take Away:  Yesterday’s message was about staying focused upon and connected to my hope, to my spirituality, and to my progress through the transformation I’m working on, and not give up.

Fear, uncertainty, illusion, and confusion are all a part of changes and transformations. The thing is though?  If you give these concepts/feelings power they will take over and you will become lost in them.  The are them able to derail not just your trajectory on the path forward, but all of the progress you’ve made along the way.

By focusing on the optimistic side of things and staying connected to your hope, spirituality, and the progress you want to make, it helps in keeping those more negative emotions and fears reigned in so that they don’t cause you to fall off track.

DECK USED:  TWISTED TAROT TALES

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I use Tarot and crystals together more effectively?

Luis Royo's Labyrinth Tarot

Reading Summary:  When you are in conflict over which stones to use in your readings (Five of Wands), lean into learning to communicate more effectively (Jack of Spades) as opposed to allowing aesthetic to weigh in (Six of Wands).

Take Away:  I regularly use crystals and stones in my readings.  Sometimes my personal readings, but always my client readings.  Sometimes?  It’s true that I have a little bit of a debate going on as I pick the stones.  “This one is more apt… but this one will look better with the cards and could also work.”   The thing is?  I could improve my use of crystals (and plant matter as well) in my readings if I let go of the aesthetic aspect and simply went with what will work best for the purpose needed.

DECK USED:  LUIS ROYO’S LABYRINTH TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Seasonal Endings

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Continuing our theme for this month, discuss with your divination tools what you are experiencing dying or coming to life outside of your control.”

Halloween Playing Cards by Natalia SilvaWhat specific things are in the process of dying right now outside of my control?
Ace of Diamonds, Four of Diamonds, Five of Spades

In the cards, what we see in the top three cards is that the center card is what is dying… and the cards on either side are working together to kill that center card.

All of the stability and security that I’ve been feeling over the spring and summer while I’ve allowed myself to explore is now falling into a time of conflict and ambition. Old money giving way to new money, earned through fighting for what is mine to claim.

How is this affecting me emotionally?
Seven of Clubs

Feeling defensive during this time of transition is natural, but I need to make sure that I don’t allow these feelings to overwhelm me and take control.  That sense of overwhelm is a quick landslide down into exhaustion and burnout… which is something I just don’t have time for right now.

How is this affecting me mentally?
Five of Diamonds

Scarcity issues are on the rise. The thing is? These issues are all in my head.  I know that. I make enough to support myself, even if there needs to be a bit of strategizing from time to time. I don’t have -actual- scarcity in my life right now, even though I’ve experienced it in the extreme in my past. Instead, this is my mind whispering about past experiences in my ear and using them as a prod for motivation.  It’s not good for me, but it is effective.

How is this affecting me physically?
Seven of Diamonds

The physical effects of this will not affect me immediately, but over time? Absolutely will. I will reap what I sow, and as I move into a time of ambition and “new money”, the tole it takes upon me is going to catch up eventually.  Just hopefully not until January.

What is my role in this death?
Two of Diamonds

My role in this death is all about balance.  I have new methods and new techniques in place to help me better balance my self care and my work load.  I need to make sure I’m staying focused on that balance and on keeping things as healthy and balanced as possible during this time.

DECK USED: HALLOWEEN PLAYING CARDS BY NATALIA SILVA

New Moon in Libra – October 2020

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De Brigh Black Tarot - New Moon in Libra Tarot Reading

Yesterday was the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

1. What is my sensual side craving?

Queen of Swords – Control without harshness.  Guidance without sharp edges.  Just pretty much exactly what I’m been getting from Gideon.  This is not surprising, because Gideon and I are often in sync as to the “flavor” of intimacy we’re delving into.

2. Where can I be more romantic?

Ten of Swords atop Eight of Cups –  Yield instead of running away.   Don’t avoid the submission you crave.  Enjoy it for as long as you can, because soon the holiday rush will not be allowing for any dropping at all… which means no drowning/subspace will be possible either.

3. What needs rekindling?

Ace of Swords – Our communication. Okay so this is just something I’ve noticed lately, but a big part (not in its entirety of course as there’s also a good deal of mental health stuff and teaching going on here, as well as the fact I’ve turned to using it as a digital tarot journal)…. right.  Digression.

Anyway, a big part of the reason for the existence of my blog is to allow Gideon to look into what’s going on with me.  What’s up with my thoughts and worries, my concerns and my feelings. To give him the ability to see what’s going on.    And the thing is, it does that.  But it feels like… I dunno.   I feel like there’s just a quick skim and then a quick “I love you” or other brief response to like one tiny thing that catches the eye.

So it kind of makes me wonder…. is he reading the whole thing?  Or is he just reading a bit of it?  Is he really reading?  I guess I kind of feel that way about the Gid’s Challenge posts sometimes too. They are just for him, but sometimes it feels like… there’s barely any response to them at all.

Maybe it’s not our communication that needs rethinking at all, but rather my clarity concerning why I’m writing in this blog in the first place and the expectations placed upon it and upon him.

4. How can I be more tender with myself?

Four of Swords atop Five of Wands – Meditation over conflict is the message in these cards. I need to start meditating more regularly again, as it will help me in taking control over my inner conflict and allow for a calmer and more centered energy in my day to day.  This calm and centered energy is going to be extremely important as the holiday rush takes hold and turns my world upside down.

5. Where can I best direct this new moon’s energy?

Seven of Swords atop Five of Cups Rx – Strategy is going to be important in order to avoid personal setbacks as I move into the end of the second half of this month.  Be sure that I have my strategies in place for how to deal with the things I need to get done, and don’t deviate from them.

This is an echo of a reading I did a week or so ago that stated “start as you wish to continue on”.  Now the cards speak of that “continuing on” by sticking to the plan.

DECK USED: DA BRIGH BLACK TAROT

You’ve Got This

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_7087Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of today’s guided meditation was suppressing and ignoring emotions.

This is a topic that I have a good deal of experience in.  Although I disagree with part of what was said (ie: that you cannot bury your emotions for long, just as one example), I do agree with the overall message that it is healthier to deal with your emotions than bury them.  I also agree that, while you probably can’t bury your emotions forever.  You can bury them for a hell of a long time. But I think that to do it for an entire lifetime might cause a great deal more harm than good.

The method of dealing with difficult and unpleasant emotions that is mentioned in this meditation, was to step aside and examine them as an observer, then return to deal with them.  Although I think that this might be a good method for a lot of people, I think that “stepping aside” like that for me?  Would be just too close to stepping away instead.  Too tempting to distance myself and then say “fuck it” and push them aside.

Tarot of Haunted House - Six of CupsToday’s draw is the Six of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of nostalgia and childhood memories. 

As is hinted at in the word “nostalgia” above, this card usually deals with positive memories that bring someone pleasure or joy to bring up to the surface. 

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of today’s card is a combination of the warm purity provided by the shades of white and gold, combined with the two figures in the center.   Today, when I look at this card, I see the woman handing a cup of flowers to the girl…. but I see them as the same person.   The young child and the woman different ages of the same woman as she looks back on a beautiful golden memory of her past, and the child reaches forward into the beautiful dreams of a future moment.

Together, these two figures bathed in the golden glow of hopes and memories, remind us that dreams can come true, even those idealistic ones we have as children and forget about as an adult. And when you accomplish a dream you hold close to your heart?  It’s time to pause and look back at where you started and feel a fissure of pleasure.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: What magickal cycle is this New Moon in Libra kicking off?

Dark Mansion Tarot

Reading Summary: Balancing your new emotional growth (Ace of Cups), with the work ahead (Eight of Pentacles) is something that you have all the tools in your arsenal in order to do (The Magician).

Take Away:  Okay, so I’ve managed to accept that I don’t have to lock my emotional growth away to protect it during the holiday rush, but that hasn’t really meant that I’ve come to understand how I’m going to balance them.  The magical cycle this new moon in Libra is kicking off for me is about finding that balance and learning that I’m more than capable of doing this.

The cards are essentially saying, “You’ve got this.”

DECK USED:  DARK MANSION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self care this new moon?

Tarot ZReading Summary: Take that unfounded worry and despair that you’re feeling (Three of Swords), and surround it in your drive and ambition (Knight of Wands), eagerness and enthusiasm (The Fool).

Take Away:  This is a carry over from today’s Lionharts reading I did earlier, where I was worrying over how I’m going to balance my emotional journey and the holiday rush over the next ten weeks.  In that reading it told me that I have the tools and abilities at my disposal to balance these things. 

Here in this reading, we then see what these tools are and what to do with them.  The cards are indicating that the only thing holding me back are my own doubts, uncertainties, and thoughts of failure.   If I want this to work, I need to let go of these things and allow myself to get swept up in the enthusiasm.   Instead of wading into the surf one inch at a time… dive right in and adjust on the fly.

DECK USED:  TAROT Z

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What lesson would my Spirit Guides like to bring to my attention at this time?

Halloween Spirit Tarot

Reading Summary:  The topic is about balancing work life and personal life/self care.  The figure in the imagery of the Two of pentacles points an arrow through the disk at the top of the Star and the World, indicating that these two cards are my target.   The other two cards are both “end of a journey cards” indicating a choice to move from an old way of doing things to something new.

The message here is that I need to remember that the shit I’m walking away from wasn’t that good (Eight of Swords atop The Star).   I have an opportunity now to move on from that more harmful way of doing things to something better (The World atop the Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  My spirit guides want to remind me of what my target is, and that I’m in the process of transitioning between the unhealthy way I was doing things and this new healthier balance.   These cards are a reminder to help me stay on track and not fall back into my old way of doing things.

DECK USED:  HALLOWEEN SPIRIT TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Do I have a spirit animal? If so, what qualities does it possess?

Halloween Magick Tarot - Nine of SwordsAnswer:  Don’t worry about it at this time. 

I didn’t draw the additional cards concerning what qualities the spirit animal might possess, because the Nine of Swords came up when I asked if I have a spirit animal.

The message is clearly that now’s not the time to be worrying about this, and to be honest?  I’m fine with that.

I have a lot on my plate at the moment and am just starting to occasionally feel the differences between my intuition and messages from my spirit guides.   There’s no need to over-complicate things by delving into the whole animals/humans/spirits/ghosts/ancestors side of things right now. 

DECK USED:  HALLOWEEN MAGIC TAROT