Two of Swords

A Whole Person… Not Half

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a second day of pranayama exercises for pain management.   Is it bad that I don’t wanna go back to work and feel like I need a few more days off?  Not that I’m taking a few more days off, I’ve been easing back into work a little each day for the past few days, so that I won’t be overwhelmed tomorrow.  But still…. it feels like this week went by way too fast.

Tarot of the Sidhe - Dreamer TwoToday’s draw is the Dreamer Two (Two of Swords) card, which is traditionally a representation of making hard choices and weighing your options in an effort to come to a decision, as well as can be an indication of avoidance.

This card is, in fact, the same card that I pulled yesterday, although the imagery is vastly different, and the message I see in this card is different as well. What I see in the imagery of this card is two halves making a whole.  I see clarity through diversity.

A lot of times we divide ourselves into pieces.   Things like “head/heart” or “good/bad” and then we weigh one side against the other and raise one up while the other is pushed away. What I see here in the imagery of this card today is the equality of accepting both halves and allowing them to give you a wider perspective and the “wings” to move forward with knowledge and certainty.

The message in this card today is about allowing both “sides” of you to have a part in your life.  It is not a “bad side” and a “good side”.  They are you… and you are not whole without them both.  This is whether we are looking at the dynamic of good and bad, or head and heart, or any number of divides people use to slice themselves into pieces.

Be whole… seek balance.  These things are what make a person complete.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: How can I better listen to anxiety’s messages in the future?

Encore Tarot

Reading Summary: When anxiety pops up and you trip over it (Wheel of Fortune Rx), don’t immediately jump on yourself (Eight of Wands) and make judgements, but take the time to really pay attention to what is going on (King of Swords).

Take Away:  It’s natural to immediately go on the defensive when anxiety spikes.  These reactions are often (not always) mixed signals of fight and flight that tangle up in themselves and make a mess out of things… so when you then immediately go on the defensive you are discounting anything that the anxiety might have been trying to say before getting all tangled up and “tongue tied”.  Instead, you need to own this moment.  Own it and examine it, listen to what the anxiety is saying and work at communicating with this reaction to suss out where it came from and what to do about it.

DECK USED:  ENCORE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self care this new moon?

Hero Analysis for the Future #79 MHA TarotReading Summary:  Your creative juices are flowing (Page of Cups) and you have the energy and enthusiasm to follow where they lead (Page of Wands), but you’ll have make sure to stay in control and be quick on your feet to keep up (The Chariot).

Take Away:  The rest through the waning time of the moon’s cycle seems to have really done me a lot of good.  I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the time my days off came around this month… really overwhelmed.

My recovery has helped me in feeling more myself, and that includes the kindling warmth of creativity and inspiration that begin to get snuffed out during my phases of overwhelm and burnout.  The cards here indicate I should embrace that kindling flame and direct it where I want it to go.  Now is the time to add a little control and direction to the situation so that that kindled spark of energy doesn’t get wasted.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question:  A loving reminder as I allow myself to feel, breathe, and heal.

Pride Tarot

Reading Summary: When it feels like the walls are starting to crumble (The Tower), lean on your friends (Three of Cups) and step back from impulsivity (Knight of Swords) into a more measured approach forward (Page of Swords)

Take Away:  The reminder here is that I have loved ones that care for me and support me.  Sometimes they hop in and help on their own, but they’re just as happy to help when I actually reach out and ask.  The help mentioned here is emotional support, and the cards indicate that if I reach for them for emotional support instead of acting impulsively on my own, I will benefit from their influence in guiding me to a more measured approach to the issues and my recovery from them. 

TL:DR; You’re not alone.  Don’t act like it.  Slow down when needed and accept emotional support when you need it.

DECK USED:  PRIDE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What stops me from sharing my gifts?

Vivid Journey Tarot

Reading Summary: Concern that instead of finding a beneficial unifying experience working with another (Two of Cups) and a different perspective provided through their influence (The Hanged Man), that instead I’ll end up having to defend myself against somebody stealing my shit (Seven of Wands) and fucking up my business (The Tower).

Take Away:  Okay so… Fear.  What stops me from sharing my gifts more openly is the fear that I will have my creative endeavors stolen from me or what is the positive results of my endeavors threatened.  This result would be not just devastating to my endeavors and possibly my future stability, but also to my emotions as when my trust is crushed I have a habit internalizing those emotions and turn them upon myself.  This risk is represented in the fact that the Two of Cups was used for representing collaboration with another.

DECK USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT

Pay Closer Attention

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was focused upon pain reduction through pranayama (breathing exercises). Honestly? I was having a bit of an anxious morning to begin with, as my family doctor’s phone was on the fritz and when I tried to call there was a “this line is no longer in service”.  It gave me a serious “oh fuck” moment as I worried if I was going to be able to get my refills.  (It’s all sorted now. I ran down there and talked to the receptionist in person. Apparently they’re having “phone problems”.)

Next World Tarot - Two of SwordsToday’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of struggling with a difficult choice and weighing your options in an effort to come to a decision.  It can also indicate an avoidance of making a choice, as is demonstrated by the blindfold.

Okay so… I didn’t see the significance of this when I pulled the card this morning.  I didn’t even guess that the fact that the rock the woman is sitting on looks like a toilet would be a warning of what was to come today.   Totally missed that message until it was too late.

And then… I look closer and realize that it actually is a toilet.  Jesus christ I really wasn’t paying attention this morning.

Right.  Tummy problems.  Today’s message was to watch out for tummy problems.  I did not listen… and I’m now paying the price.

Okay, really tho.   Today’s message is about making good choices.  I made a really bad choice today and the card gave me a very literal warning that I completely missed until it was too late.   It’s all about the good choices.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: Why have I struggled to hear anxiety’s messages in the past?

Tarot of Why

Reading Summary: Because the newness of it (Ace of Swords) has blinded me (Eight of Swords) and causes a need to regroup (Four of Swords).  This then smothers out the light (The Sun) by muffling my motivation (Knave of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  When a spike of anxiety happens, it feels like it’s coming out of the blue.  It’s painful and so “new” feeling that it leaves me stumbling blindly, as if reeling from a blow.  Because I react in this way, I then need recovery afterward, which steals away motivation and muffles out opportunities for more positive experiences.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WHY

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Use Care / Be Carefree

Stunning TarotUse Care – Warrior of Swords – Use care both in your ambition but also in your comebacks. When you quip, sometimes it can be taken as more cutting than you intend it to be. Make sure that you are not getting so focused on your ambitions that you lose track of everything else around you.

Be Carefree – Three of Swords – You worry too much.  You spend too much time focusing on the negative and viewing the world through a pessimistic lens.  Stop closing your eyes to all of the good that surrounds you and work at being more carefree in enjoying things from a more positive and optimistic viewpoint

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Water, when I am ready to release and flow, what should I know?

Alan Tarot

Reading Summary: There are always going to be others that care about me (Two of Hearts) and have the same vision as I do to help me along the way in my endeavors (Three of Diamonds).  Make sure that you aren’t leaving these people behind in your effort to find something better (Six of Spades).

Take Away:  “Release and Flow” is such a foreign concept to me. But the advice here makes sense.  If “release and flow” means going with the flow to move on from something crappy into a better situation, then it’s important not to leave those behind that are your support system and have a piece of your heart in their hands.  They should be along with you for the ride.

DECK USED:  ALAN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What are my gifts?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: Diving into creative endeavors and passionate goals (Knight of Wands). Knowing when to cut and run (Six of Swords)… and when to stay and fight (Five of Swords).

Take Away:  Sometimes a gift can also be a curse, and the first part of the answer for this question is definitely one of those.  The gift of being able to hone in on my focus and plow into my intent, to go after what I want with single minded determination is both a gift… and a curse.  Because when you have that kind of focus, and that kind of drive?  Sometimes you forget about all the other important things that need to be tended to as well.

The second gift is the ability to know when it’s time to walk away, and when it’s time to stay and fight.  When I walk away, I do so for good reason.  It’s for my own health and well-being, and I rarely look back on these decisions.  On the other side of this coin, when I dig in my heels and decide to stay and fight for something I believe in, I become relentless in that and the determination and conviction I bring with me into these situations more often than not turns the table to my benefit.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

Don’t Discount Your Emotions

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and ended in a nap.  I meant to eat, and then lie down for ten minutes for my meditation before hopping online.  Instead I ate, laid down for ten minutes to meditate… and dozed off. Which sucked, but I’m glad that I at least got my meditation in.    Today’s meditation entailed Miss Luna snugging up against the side of my head and purring for me, and I spent my meditation focusing on the rhythmic rumble of her purrs.

Herbal Tarot - Two of Swords - PassionflowerToday’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is traditionally interpreted as a struggle in making a difficult decision or coming to an impasse where you have to pause and carefully consider your options.

What stands out to me the strongest in today’s card is the water in the background. This speaks to me of the decisions being made having an emotional component.  Perhaps the emotions are making the logical choice not the right choice and that is causing a conflict and struggle in making a decision.

The passiflora did not stand out to me at all in this card today, so I am not including it in the interpretation.

The message in today’s card is to make sure you don’t discount your emotions when making important decisions.  This is something I have a habit of doing pretty much all the time, and as a part of my emotional growth, this is something I’m trying to change.  The reminder is needed, because sometimes I forget.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I being invited to challenge myself?

Tattoo Tarot Ink & Intuition

Reading Summary: Being kind to myself both physically (The Empress) and mentally (Knave of Swords), and slowing the fuck down (Nine of Wands with Knave of Wands).

Take Away:  I get this reminder a lot and it is fitting that it would appear here when asked what I’m invited to challenge myself concerning.  Being nice to myself is not an easy task for me, and takes a lot of conscious effort… so does slowing down and pacing myself.  They are both worthy of the effort put in, but they are definitely not simple or easy for me to do.

DECK USED:  TATTOO TAROT INK & INTUITION

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Write something free form inspired by the cards.

Japaridze TarotShe played from the heart
Opening up to all
Laying bare her treasure
Sharing her emotions
to all that would listen
and in each note
the immersive experience
took the spectators deeper
taught them more
opened their own hearts
and their own souls
were left bare as well. 

DECK USED:  JAPARIDZE TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: Where or in what way did I grow this month?

The Crystal TarotReading Summary: Being more aware of the help around me that is out there for me if I reach for it (Five of Pentacles) rather than giving in to the temptation to continue following the ingrained habit (The Devil) of keeping my head down and plowing ahead (Eight of Wands).

Take Away: The cards here indicate that I’m doing better at not just being aware that there is help available to me when I need it, but actually asking for it and allowing that help rather than pushing it away and plowing onward alone under the weight.

DECK USED:  THE CRYSTAL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Where do I want to be in 10, 15, and 20 years from now?

Fanuna's Tarot

Ten Years – Happy and looking back on the past with fondness.

Fifteen Years – Full of energy and oomph and passionate enough about my inspirational pursuits to fight for them.

Twenty Years – Still driven by passionate nature, and finding new and interesting things that kindle my inner spark to go after.

DECK USED:  FANUNA’S TAROT

Choices and Hindsight

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and the majority of the guided meditation was a full body scan from head to toes.

I’ve mentioned this before, but this is one of my favorite types of meditation, as it allows me to do a check-in with myself and my body while I meditate.

That check-in helps me better figure out what needs tending as far as scarring, flexibility, and residual issues from injuries are concerned.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out together without a jumper.  I switched decks for the alternate to combine with the Halloween Tarot, as I feel that the one I was using has a bit more of a November feel, so it will make a reappearance next month.

The cards in today’s draw are the Strength card, and the Two of Swords.

When I look at these cards, what I see is the message that sometimes you have to make the hard choices, but that you are strong enough to do so, and have the inner strength to adapt to the results and consequences that come after these choices are made.

It is a message about standing by your choices once they are made, more than which choices to make along the way.  It is about standing by your decisions once these decisions have been made, and not just riding out the aftermath of what comes from those decisions but making the aftermath work for you.

I think that this is a really important message to take to heart.   Sometimes when we make decisions in life, we look back later and say “oh geez, I should have done this instead.”   But the fact is, that is in the past and the past isn’t what you have to deal with.   It’s the present that’s now at your feet and needs your time.

Traditional representations for the Strength card are inner strength, persuasion and/or coercion, compassionate influence over others, and courage.  As a Major Arcana card, this card deals with the “big picture” rather than any one aspect of the human condition.

The Two of Swords is traditionally a representation of duality, unions, division, and partnerships in the area of thought, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.  This means that it deals with topics such as decision making and choices, as well as indecision and confusion.

Deck Used: The Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I like them this month, and I have so many decks that are perfect for the month of October that I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: What can I do to better improve my relationship with my body?

Reading Summary: The Five of Wands speaks to me of needing more physical activity.  The Three of Cups means that I will do better along that path if I do it with a friend.  The Knight of Pentacles indicates I may need to spend a bit of money along the way, which to me reads as a gym membership component.

Take Away:   I need to start going to the gym with J again. Ok so… Although this is an answer that I knew already in the back of my mind, I didn’t expect it to be the answer that came up for some reason.   The truth is, though.   I do need to start going to the gym again.  Between the cancer, and other stresses that have come through my life since then, I never managed to gain back the weight I lost during my cancer treatments.  From experience, I know that I don’t do gym time well if I have to go it alone.  I need the distraction and motivation of having someone else there.   I also know through experience that if I don’t work out, I’ll never gain the weight back.  If I want it back, it has to be through muscle weight, because I don’t retain fat in a way that is conducive to weight gain.

Will I get a gym membership again and start going with J?  Very probably.  Although, probably not until after the holidays are over.  The busy time is creeping up fast, and I’m just not going to have the extra time once the bomb drops.

Deck Used: Trick-or-Tarot Deck

 

Instinct vs Intuition

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was focused on working on the inner self.  It discussed how society is so focused upon the external progress, that we often forget about working on our inner selves where our emotions, instincts, and sense of self lives.

To me, this related to the importance of shadow work, and the necessity of knowing yourself.  Not just the parts of yourself you want to know or accept, or believe that others will accept… but knowing your whole self, including those dark and secret parts you don’t want to acknowledge or admit to.

Today’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is a representation of duality, division, and choices in the area of intellect, the mind, logic, communication, and instinct.   It is a card that deals with making choices, and trusting your perceptions and instincts (as opposed to intuition) to choose the path that is right for you.

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Instinct and intuition are often confused with each other, perhaps because they both speak from a very similar place (your gut).   Instinct indicates that your subconscious is gathering outside data and steering you in relation to that data and one’s genetic dispositions.  Intuition is more esoteric.  It is the “just knowing” that sparks regardless of external input, instead of because of it.

Or, at least, that was how it was explained to me.

Because most people feel both of these through their “gut” or solar plexus, they are easily confused and intermeshed together, and I am no different.   In truth, I don’t care which is which when I feel it in the moment.  I only care that I felt it and react accordingly.   Later on, though, I (we?) often sit back and pick apart these reactions (if not doing it in the moment already), and even then it can be difficult to discern which was in action at the time.

Oops sorry…. wandered off topic.

The Two of Swords… Instinct and decision making.   A choice.

This card represents when there is a choice present that needs to be made, but the scales are level as to which seems the right one to go with.

The Two of Sword’s appearance in today’s draw is a reminder that when such difficult choices arise, it is important to take in all of the pros and cons of each situation, but JUST as important to listen to your instincts.  Bringing in as much information as possible will assist your inner voice of instinct in having all of the information it needs to steer  you in the right direction.

The key?   Don’t discount that voice when it speaks or disregard what it has to say… no matter how much you may want to at the time.

 

Use Your Intuition

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on pausing to allow for space within yourself.

This is in reference to when you have a moment where your emotions spark either because you were triggered or for some other reason. Our first instinct is to react and respond immediately. But sometimes, it is better to take a pause and step away, give yourself time and space, and then come back.

I use this practice often when dealing with customers in my business. Sometimes people can be aggravating, frustrating, or just downright rude. By pausing and taking a step away before I respond to these types of people, it allows me to respond in a kind and courteous manner instead of simply reacting to what they are putting out there.

Today’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is a representation of division, duality, and openings in the area of the mind, thought, reason, logic, and communication.

The Two of Swords is all about choices and intuition. It represents not just that there are choices that will be present to decide upon, but that you need to trust more than just reason and logic in making them.

This is why the woman is blindfolded, as she is unable to clearly see the choices before her and make an informed decision. Instead she must trust her intuition to choose wisely.

The thing about intuition is that the more you use it, the more it will speak up. Whereas, the more that you ignore it or discount its input, the quieter it will become.

The appearance of this card today is a reminder to stay in touch with my intuition, and to not always depend so strongly upon logic and reason alone. Sometimes I feel I’m at the cusp of falling into that trap, and this is a good reminder that my decision making process is more than just an activity of the mind.