The sun card

Soaking Up Some Vitamin D

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Today’s meditation was delayed until tonight when I go to bed because today has been quite busy and just didn’t have the time (or want to take time from other things, if I’m honest) to settle in and do the meditation earlier in the day.  Morning meditation is definitely more beneficial for me, though, on a whole.

The Sun - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Sun card, which is a representation of themes that include optimism,  fun, and positivity.

I still don’t see that in this card, to be honest.  But that seems to be the theme of this deck as a whole that my intuitive hits upon the imagery are of an entirely different vein than traditional meanings, or even the meanings in the book that came with the deck.

What I see in the imagery of this card today has to do with the defensive stance of the woman in the card, and the radiant power behind her.  That power feels like it is empowering her and providing strength.

What I see here is that I need some time outside, and… that’s fitting since that’s exactly what went on today.   Not around people…. okay so mostly not around people.   I took my sister and Z to the woods for a walk and we stopped over at the wetlands to enjoy some sun as well.     There were no other people around, and it was a nice (and needed) outing that seems to have given not just our bodies but our souls a refreshing breath of fresh air.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: What am I being invited to reflect upon this spring?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: How I do things and how I can do them differently (l’Appeso) and better (La Giustizia) in order to get more out of life (Four of Cups) and foster a better outcome (La Torre Rx).

Take Away:  At the beginning of the year, I wanted to start restructuring how I did things with my business, but it had to be put off because of that fog of fear created as the reactions to last fall’s letter caught up with me.   Now, I am essentially being forced into slowing down and the cards are indicating that this situation is the prime opportunity I need to begin looking at making some changes  to better balance not just my business, but my home life as well.  It’s time to start looking at how I can do things differently moving forward, and start considering what small changes I can start making to move toward that vision.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my greatest weakness?

Wildwood Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: Letting my thoughts run away with me until I’m so wrapped up in them and so worked up by them that I’m stuck in a state of catastrophizing.

Take Away:  So I readily admit this is absolutely something that I do… and yet even though I am aware I do it and don’t particularly find it at all wise or useful?  I still somehow manage to do it anyway.  I think it might be a part of the cycle of how I motivate myself to do shit I don’t really want to do… but turned into an avenue that becomes a detriment rather than useful.

DECK USED:  WILDWOOD TAROT (TRIMMED)

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Draw a card and record the feelings you experience.

Jonasa Jaus TarotShe is protected and can therefore let go and be free.  She is sensual, and he is rapt. He watches on, holding flowers that are just for her… even if the truth is she handed them to him to hold for her rather than them being a gift.  The true gift here is his protection

The dynamic between the cards feels like a romance.  A secret love not acted upon by either party due to station, or due to the sweet taste of drawing out the temptation into a seduction all its own.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

Appreciate the Little Things

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Today’s meditation was once again delayed until bed time.  I swear to f’ck that I’m trying to fit it in.  I really am.  But there seems to be a serious challenge to getting those ten or fifteen minutes every.. damn.. DAY so far this week.

The Sun - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Sun card, which is a traditionally a representation of success, positivity, happiness and warmth, fun and exuberance.

I think that little lizard dog thing has an eyeball on its ass.  Just sayin’.

Okay so what I see in this card’s imagery is a LOT of little details.  All of the cards are pretty detailed in this deck, but today I feel like every time I look away from the card and then look back, I notice another little detail that suddenly feels significant. Just as significant as the last one.  All of them small like the eye looking spot on the rear of the creature at her feet.  The bauble hanging from her necklace…. the fact that her necklace doesn’t go around her neck but appears to hang from her ears.  The skull on her head, her navel, her tattoos, the flowers and wands she holds.

And yet it doesn’t feel cluttered.  It doesn’t feel overwhelming either.

What I feel from this is that the message in today’s draw has to do with noticing the little things and appreciating them.  Cherishing them.   Sometimes the big picture sucks, but you can still find pleasure in the little things.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: Looking at the past few weeks, what may have been impeded by miscommunication?

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary:  My progress moving forward into my passion (Knight of Swords) has been hampered by retreat (The Hermit) because I’ve been walking on eggshells (Six of Swords) and struggling to find balance between my personal needs and business responsibilities (Queen of Disks Rx).

Take Away:  Okay so this is about the letter, and it’s about how I’ve reacted to the letter by closing myself, which has hindered my “go get ’em” forward momentum concerning my passions and ambitions.  That letter caused an imbalance, and a disruption in my comfort levels which has caused some problems in a number of different areas concerning my business, my home life, and my own self care as well.

IS the letter a miscommunication, then?  Am I over-reacting to it?  Is it not the unreasonable demand and threat-thru-leverage that I perceived it to be?  I think this might be something I need to think on.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I at physically at this time?

Jonasa Jaus Tarot

Reading Summary: Independence on my journey (Queen of Swords) toward “traditional exercise” (Hierophant)  is holding me back.  Stop ignoring the help that’s available to me (Five of Coins) and I’ll find a better way (Page of Swords) to move forward and enjoy the journey (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  So I know that I need to get to the gym and gain some weight.  I know this, and yet I’ve not been able to manage it.  I just have no interest or motivation towards that direction. J has offered to join me, and yet I haven’t really accepted or refused.  Just… meh.    The cards indicate that I need to accept and get going on this.  Where I am physically is in a holding pattern… and it’s time to move past that, and accept the help I need (even if that help is just in motivation) in order to get myself back on track.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I move more into my heart space?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: Accept that it’s okay to be recognized for the good stuff (Six of Wands) and own that shit (The Emperor) rather than shoving it off, because by doing so it will create contentment (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  I had some really sweet things said about me today that really made it stand out to me just how differently I see myself compared to how others seem to see me.  It was nice to hear, but there’s a part of me that is always reserved and holds back from absorbing praise internally when it is given.   I worry that in doing so my ego will swell into something ugly and insufferable, and… often I honestly am not sure if I even deserve praise when its given as well.  These cards indicate that it won’t make my ego insufferable, but will create a sense of contentment within myself that I’m currently missing.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

Nosce Te Ipsum

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Today’s meditation has not yet happened yet, as I overslept and had to pop out of bed and get my ass moving this morning when the housekeeper showed up.   I will do it before bed, but I really need to start doing it in the morning rather than putting it off.  I just feel like I’m getting more out of the process when I do the meditation in the morning as a part of starting my day.

The Sun - Ostara Tarot Today’s draw is The Sun card, which is a representation of fun, positivity, and the inner child.  But honestly, that is not what I see when I look at The Sun card in this deck.

What I pick up from today’s card is a message about individuality and strength.  It’s about being genuine.  Being yourself.  And standing up for what you feel is right and your own personal values.   That is what I saw this morning, and it turned out to be a theme in my day as well.

I am well aware that my own personal moral compass and ethics are not entirely on line with those of the world around me.  I get that.  I don’t like favoritism.  For me, it smacks of lack of fairness and creates imbalance.   And for me, much of life is all about balance.  I feel it is important to look at situations from an unbiased perspective.  I feel it’s important to strive to be fair in all things, even when that fairness may not be to your own advantage or the advantage of your own personal opinions and goals (thus the importance of being able to look at things from an unbiased perspective).

The feeling I got from today’s card is that it’s okay to be different. It’s okay to have no interest in conforming.  It’s okay to march to your own drum, and it’s okay to see things differently than others as long as you’re willing to entertain their perspectives.  Know yourself.  Be yourself.  Stand tall.

DECK USED:  OSTARA TAROT

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: Something that I was right to let go of this year.

Wayhome Tarot

Reading Summary:  Being so quick to judge myself (The Chariot) by my father’s standards (Father of Swords) instead of celebrating who I am (Daughter of Wands).

Take Away: My father was an extremely harsh man who spent the entirety of my youth making sure that I was fully aware of just how much of a disappointment I was to him, and just how much of an embarrassment I was to my family, due primarily to my sexual preferences and lack of interest in most “traditionally male” pursuits.  Although I never felt the least bit of an urge to conform to his standards, I did spend a good deal of my time mimicking his tone in my own self talk.  This year I have been diligently working on being kinder to myself and letting go of that asshole in my head that judges everything I do so harshly.

DECK USED:  WAYHOME TAROT

 

It’s Okay to Play

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Today’s meditation was very nearly a nap, because it took place in the bathtub and it was very, very relaxing.   I did not fall asleep, but it was a hard thing.    I did learn my lesson, though.  If I am going to do the kind of meditation where I sink into a comforting and/or comfortable sensation?   Don’t do it somewhere I could drown.

The Sun - Slow TarotToday’s draw is The Sun card, which is all about warmth, positivity, and letting that inner child out to play.   The message in this card arriving during today’s draw is that I need to pay attention to ensuring I incorporate FUN into my life, even during the busiest of times.

Part of the reason for turning my hobbies into a business is so that I can play while I work.  And yet, there are times when I bear down so hard on my focus that I lose track of that part of things.   The sun card is a reminder that it’s okay to have some fun along the way.

Deck Used: Slow Tarot

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: Where do I need to take more action?

The Herbcrafters TarotReading Summary: Oak is a synonymous with strength and abundance, and when combined with the Seven of Earth, it reinforces the message of steady progress and sustainability that that card represents. There is bounty in the image, but it is bounty that is the product of hard work.

Chicory is a symbol of patience and perseverance.  In this card, it is joined with the Two of Air, which brings in an aspect of weighing one’s options and struggling with making important but difficult decisions.  The combination creates a sense of needing to wait before you make the choices necessary to move forward.

In the tarot, roses are often a symbol of balance and an offering of hope and new beginnings.  Combined as it is with The Empress card, there is a feeling of freshness and stability within the expression of this card.  There is also a symbolism of the rose hips, which represents the ‘bearing of the fruits of love’.  This theme  fits well with the fertility of the Empress card, and reinforces this aspect of the Empress.

Take Away:  The message in these cards is one of control and restraint in order to further one’s aspirations and ambitions.  Sometimes to achieve abundance, you have to be steadfast and strong, but not hard and ruthless.  In areas where I feel a need for that stability and comforting strength, it would be wise to take a pause to ensure I will be heading in the right direction, then set loose in that direction, moving forward while holding on to both the goals I wish to achieve, but also a nurturing respect for myself and my current needs.

In other words?  Find your ambition and goals…. take a moment to pause and find your footing and direction… THEN act, but do so consciously with awareness of not just those goals for the future, but the present as well.

Deck Used: The Herbcrafter’s Tarot

Evaluating Timing

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was centered upon using sound as a focus for meditation.  I’m not sure why I was surprised by the effectiveness of this technique, considering how my synesthesia is focused on auditory input, but I was.  What is also surprising, though, is that I really enjoyed it.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that both cards dropped out together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Moon and the Sun cards.   This is surprising, as this deck is VERY thoroughly shuffled, and yet they popped out together regardless of that fact.  (The Moon and The Sun are cards are the 18th and 19th card, respectively, in the Major Arcana.)

The message that comes across in these cards and how they landed is that there is always an end to troubled times.  It’s like that old Charles Strouse/Martin Charnin song for the play Annie, yeah?  Corny, I know… but that’s exactly what popped into my head when I saw these two cards land on the table.

In the tarot, the Moon card is traditionally a representation of illusion, fear of the unknown (and the unknown in general), intuition and the subconscious, and a temptation to retreat from the unknown to a place of safety.    The Sun, on the other hand, is a representation of positivity and lightheartedness, that ‘inner child’ spark, warmth, vitality, and success.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I improve my relationship with my shadow self?  (Fitting for what we have been discussing, and I might visit this reading more in depth on next Wednesday’s shadow post.)

Trick-or-Tarot DeckReading Summary:   Walk away (Eight of Cups), reevaluate (Adjustment/Justice), and come back stronger (King of Pentacles).   These cards echo the same pattern as the read on the positivity cards above, and it creates a feeling of reinforcement in what I’m seeing here.

Take Away: What I’m reading here is that starting this right before the holiday rush might not be the best idea.  If I wait, and take this time over the rush to evaluate my plan and look at different paths to my goal, then once the holiday rush is over and I am on the other side of it, I will be in a better and stronger place to do the shadow work safely.  

Deck Used: Trick-or-Tarot Deck

Sense of Self

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and focused on separating from the “self” and becoming a witness in order to deal with difficult emotions and grasp that they are temporary and will pass.

This type of detachment is something that I’m intimately familiar with, but what I really liked about today’s guided meditation was the explanation that came before moving on to the topic of separation from self to deal with emotions.

In leading up to the topic, it spoke about how we say we have a body, and we have a mind.  We speak of these things like they are possessions, rather than saying, for example, that we are a body or we are a mind.  This brings to bear the question of what are we?  She speaks on how many advanced meditation practitioners have come to the conclusion that each of us is a “Witness”, and that in the experience of being human, each of us is at our core pure awareness.

I found this a very interesting perspective, and it fits in well with how I view the world, people, life, and my practice as a whole.  I’ve heard similar perspectives in the past, but how it was presented in today’s guided meditation really struck a chord for me.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out of the deck together. The cards in today’s draw are the Eight of Cups and The Sun card.

When I look at today’s cards, the message that comes through is about moving on from uncertainty and into a more positive outlook.  I think this goes well with what you and I have been experiencing the last couple of days with the drop and my struggles to fill the shoes as  I feel necessary to be on the supportive side of things.   It’s something I really struggle with, and I don’t entirely understand why.  I’m a responsible person, and I see the aftermath as very much an important responsibility, and yet I wobble under that weight time and again.

As the scales slide back into balance, though, I feel lighter and warmer. Less struggle and more gratitude.  I think you are right that the top space swings high, then like a pendulum, comes to swing back the other way and knock me off that perch.  The cards are telling me that I need to accept my shortcomings and move away from the self blame and recriminations.  Be happy with the experience as it is and bask in the balance we have with each other, instead of picking apart my part of it a little at a time to dig out negatives.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine masculine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Queen of Cups is about receptive alpha emotional energy, and the King of Cups on the other side is projective emotional energy.  Separating the two is the Eight of Wands, which speaks of swift, fast paced action and change, and I also pick up hints of the inverted meaning of misalignment in the image.

Take Away:   Recognition and acceptance of my emotions is needed.  At the moment, I use my busyness and the cacophony of having my fingers in so many pots to put aside and separate myself from my emotions.  If I want to honor the divine masculine within me, I need to seek out a better connection between that receptive energy and the projective energy within my emotions, and seek a wholeness and synergy without wedging “everything else” in between to keep my emotions detached and compartmentalized.

Deck Used: Spirit Tarot (from the Halloween Spirit Store and Spencer’s Gifts)