There’s More Waiting

Today’s meditation was skipped.  No excuses, I just didn’t end up doing it.  I was entirely and utterly unmotivated to the point of actual avoidance. 

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - The SunToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of joy, success, fun, and play. 

I love the representation of the May Pole on the sun card, as the May Pole is a celebration of the sun’s reign in the sky and the first stirring of energy that rises up within the first breath of summer.

The card and it’s imagery is a message to remember how much I’m missing while I’m wrapped up in the darkness of my depression, and how much is waiting for me to enjoy and celebrate once I manage to pull myself out and back to even ground.

Although I can’t just “pull myself up by my bootstraps” and force the depression away, remembering that there’s fun and play and joy out there to return to helps in keeping the depression in perspective.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic
: Ask the cards to tell you about something funny that will make you smile.

Tarot de Marseille Anima AntiquaOkay so, a few years ago my friend J and I were hanging out and the guy said the most rediculous thing.  In the middle of talking, I sneezed.   I have horrible allergies, and I have a habit of holding in my sneeze a bit when they happen because otherwise I often end up with a sore throat or snot everywhere.  Neither of those experiences are worth letting the sneezes loose, so I suppress them just a bit.

When J saw this, he turned to me with fully earnest expression and told me that I shouldn’t hold in my sneezes. That it’s important to let them out so the pressure doesn’t build up in your head during the sneeze and result in your eyeballs popping out.  And that that’s why when people sneeze they close their eyes, but it’s not enough and you have to let your sneezes out too.

It was so hilarious that I laughed for a good five minutes, and for months later every time I thought about it I’d start cracking up again.  Thinking of it now still makes me chortle a bit. The look on his face was just so earnest and guileless.  He really believed it and was so worried for me… and all I could do was laugh.

DECK USED:  TAROT DE MARSEILLE ANIMA ANTIQUA
 

Daily Self Kindness

Today I managed to actually do a bit of play with Gideon even though I had to do orders.  It was really nice and something I haven’t been able to do in a really long time (work on an orders day).  It wasn’t a long play, but I really enjoyed it a lot.

Frowns Can Be Infectious Too

IMG_7104Today’s meditation was ten minutes in length and was another of the guided meditations with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.  I can’t honestly say that I paid all that much attention to the guided part of the meditation today, and it might be time to switch back to non-guided meditations for a bit since I seem to have toned out the voice entirely through a good part of the meditation.

The part that I did hear was about not allowing reactivity and/or anxiety to spur you into making impulsive decisions and snap judgements. Instead, in those moments, it is a time to pause and take a moment to process.

Madam Lydia Wilhelmmina's Tarot - The SunToday’s draw is is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of optimism, joy, playfulness, and positive opportunities. It’s about all those upbeat things associated with fun, positivity, and success as well as youthful exuberance.

I don’t see much of anybody having all that much fun int his photo.  One kid’s looking back at the eldest with black eyes like there’s a serious problem, and the other is in the process of trying to squirm off their seat. It’s a family photoshoot gone wrong, and I feel like the contrast between the card’s imagery and its traditional meaning is where the message lies in today’s card.

The message here is to not let other’s attitudes or a crap-ass time drag you down into a place of pessimism and displeasure. Everyone has seen the truly optimistic as they move through the sludge of a bad day.  They remain optimistic even in the face of road blocks and naysayers.  Take a page from their book and keep your head up and a smile in your heart.

DECK USED:  MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question
: A thought, dream, or hope I am asked to work on.

Tarot of Vampyres - The World and TemperanceReading Summary: The foundation of transformation and growth (The World) is patience and moderation (Temperance).

Take Away:  Transformation is the thought, the dream, and the hope in this reading.  I truly desire to change how I’ve been handling my work and responsibilities (vs.) my self care over the majority of my life. I’ve made a lot of big leaps this year in that direction. 

The thing is, though?  It is important to remember is that transformation doesn’t happen overnight. It’s something you work at a little at a time, adjusting again and again along the way.  And then one day you look back and realize you’ve made it to an entirely different place than the one you were in when you started.  

Even as I track my progress, I need to keep in mind that it’s okay to take my time.  It’s okay to backslide now and then, just as long as I catch myself and continue forward.  This effort is not a sprint but a journey and it’s going to take time and patience as I move along that path.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF VAMPYRES

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What needs… revealed / concealed / discarded

XIII TarotRevealedKnave of Cups – Sometimes when I express my emotions, I feel as if I’m speaking into a bucket. My own voice reverberates back at me, but that’s the only feedback I get.  I struggle with my emotions, even the good ones… even now.  I struggle with being in touch with them, with expressing them clearly, and with understanding them.  Sometimes I have no idea what the emotions I feel actually are or what the words are to express them. I know that this is a part of the learning process, but this is my confession.  My vulnerability on this path of emotional growth revealed.   I hate feeling lost and confused…. and sometimes on this journey, those feelings are the most overwhelming of them all.

ConcealedSeven of Wands atop Ace of Swords – I need to make sure that I’m fighting back against my negative inner dialogue as it tries to dig in and get a handhold.  Every time those fingers curl on the edge of that rocky shelf, I need to make sure I’m smashing them back.  This battle isn’t really something that needs sharing with others, as speaking what that negative inner voice is saying aloud will only give the words more power.  Instead, remember that it is important to pay attention and stay on the defensive with that pessimistic voice.  Be diligent and keep it in line.

DiscardedSix of Pentacles – You spend a massive amount of time throughout the year focused on others, giving your time to helping others and making time for others to come to you.  At this time when you’re moving into the holiday rush?  It’s just not the time for this sort of thing.  You need to be focused on yourself and your business and not worry so much about others.  You can go back to being your generous and giving self again after the holiday rush has come to an end.

DECK USED:  XIII TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the significance on my journey of the lesson revealed yesterday?

Twisted Tarot Tales - The Moon, Page of Swords

Reading Summary: Holy crap to the double moon cards. Your uncertainties and fears (double Moons indicating an overwhelming power in these concepts) can lead to misguided thoughts and bad ideas to get interjected in your learning process (Page of Swords… partially based off imagery).

Take Away:  Yesterday’s message was about staying focused upon and connected to my hope, to my spirituality, and to my progress through the transformation I’m working on, and not give up.

Fear, uncertainty, illusion, and confusion are all a part of changes and transformations. The thing is though?  If you give these concepts/feelings power they will take over and you will become lost in them.  The are them able to derail not just your trajectory on the path forward, but all of the progress you’ve made along the way.

By focusing on the optimistic side of things and staying connected to your hope, spirituality, and the progress you want to make, it helps in keeping those more negative emotions and fears reigned in so that they don’t cause you to fall off track.

DECK USED:  TWISTED TAROT TALES

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I use Tarot and crystals together more effectively?

Luis Royo's Labyrinth Tarot

Reading Summary:  When you are in conflict over which stones to use in your readings (Five of Wands), lean into learning to communicate more effectively (Jack of Spades) as opposed to allowing aesthetic to weigh in (Six of Wands).

Take Away:  I regularly use crystals and stones in my readings.  Sometimes my personal readings, but always my client readings.  Sometimes?  It’s true that I have a little bit of a debate going on as I pick the stones.  “This one is more apt… but this one will look better with the cards and could also work.”   The thing is?  I could improve my use of crystals (and plant matter as well) in my readings if I let go of the aesthetic aspect and simply went with what will work best for the purpose needed.

DECK USED:  LUIS ROYO’S LABYRINTH TAROT

Exploration and Discovery

Today’s meditation was skipped in sacrifice to the gods of work.  Essentially, I decided to put it off until bed time because I wanted to try and get my orders done a little earlier than normal.  You know…. so I don’t have to pull an all nighter, yeah?    So I did end up sacrificing a few things (like my meditation) in order to make that happen.

Next World Tarot - The SunToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of joy and happiness and lighthearted fun.  It’s about successful endeavors and positivity.

No one specific aspect stood out to me in this card today other than the shining light in the sky that the girl in the picture reaches toward… and the fact that her shoelaces are untied (but tucked).

The laces actually bring back a memory.  For the first few months after I emancipated from my parent’s home, I wore my shoes like that.  Loose and untied with the laces tucked in out of the way.  I’d always wanted to wear my laces that way, but when you wear your shoes untied, there is a habit of scraping your heels on the ground (or you have to march in order to not do so).  My mother would not allow that, and thus it wasn’t until I was on my own that I tried it for myself.   Turns out?  The thunk of heels scraping with each step quickly got on my nerves as well.  Although this wasn’t the reason my mother objected?  It’s kind of funny that I ended up agreeing with her.

Hell of a digression, right?   But maybe it’s not that much of a digression at all.   For what I see in those shoelaces… and in the message of this card today, is that you have to try new things to know whether they’re for you or not.   Discovering the things that make you happy and create joy in your heart is a process of trial and error.

Never lose the curiosity that fosters the discovery of new joyous moments.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I help prevent myself from comparing my healing journey to someone else’s?

Odd Hand Tarot

Reading Summary: Everyone has lessons to learn in life, and most people don’t learn by just being given the answers (The Hierophant).  Use your empathy (Queen of Cups) and communicate in an open and welcoming way instead of in a closed format (Page of Swords).

Take Away: The indication here is that in order to prevent myself from comparing my healing journey to someone else’s I need to remember that everyone’s path is different.  Everyone’s experiences are different.   Two people can, in fact, experience the exact same event… and process it entirely differently… this experience it entirely differently.  Listen to others with an empathetic ear and keep your eyes and ears open to how their experiences differ from my own.

DECK USED:  ODD HAND TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: I Blame Myself For… / I Blame Others For…

Tarot of the Dream EnchantressI Blame Myself For – I blame myself for when my mind and thought processes become fuzzy and clouded (King of Swords Rx) which then results in me dropping the ball concerning my responsibilities and obligations (Two of Pentacles).

There are times when I seem to step into this “foggy” brain space that will last for a few days or even a couple of weeks.  It’s not depression, but rather just a lack of clarity and mental “crispness”.  During these times, I often end up making a lot of stupid mistakes and my time management skills become pretty dismal.  That in turn effects my juggling of all the different responsibilities on my plate.

I Blame Others ForFour of Cups and Wheel of Fortune (imagery based) – I blame others for my apathetic opinion of society. There is so much about the world that I accept with ease, but society is not really one of those things.

The reasons for this are many… and yet they all boil down to other people’s behavior… other people’s mentality… other people’s stupidity.  With every year that passes, I find myself less and less optimistic about humanity at a whole, and more disappointing in what I see in so many.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Focus on your third eye and draw a card in answer to: Where am I asked to follow or listen to my intuition?

Luminous Void Tarot - Ten of DiscsTen of Discs – My dreams are very much based in the stability and security that is represented in the Ten of Discs.  It is, without fail, my greatest focus, and although I have over time adjusted what I consider to be the definition of that stability and security, and my view of how to achieve it… the concept of stability and security remains my focus.

The thing is, though, that following your dreams is about more than just logic and reason… no matter how comfortable it is to fall back on these things. Sometimes you have to follow your gut to know what to do, and to know what’s right. These things can’t always be reasoned out, but instead have to be felt.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I need to forgive myself?

Big Things in Small Packages Tarot

Reading Summary: Getting fucked over (Seven of Wands) sucks and its easy to internalize these bad experiences (Nine of Swords) and allow the experience to become a heavy burden (Knight of Pentacles Rx).  How you deal with these things determines whether or not you and your life stays in balance (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The times I have been hurt by others, and I have chosen to internalize that hurt instead of placing the blame where it belongs… on them.  I have a habit holding myself culpable, even though the blame isn’t mine to own.  I need to release this blame.  Let it go.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

Cleansing Energies and Fresh Air

Today’s meditation was just under twenty minutes long, and was another purr-focused meditation as Luna again decided to come cuddle up against the side of my head while I was meditating, which shifted my focus from my breathing to her purring.

I really like this type of meditation.  It’s extremely relaxing.  I didn’t immediately fall asleep this time, but it was still really nice and I ended up lingering longer than I would have because I was really enjoying it.

The Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of hope, joyous celebration, and all around good ol’ fun.

Spiritually speaking, Hypericum perforatum (St Johns Wort) is used to invoke the healing powers of light against the darkness and this is expressed no more evidently than it’s medical use as well, as medically this herb is best known for its anti-depressant properties.

The message in today’s card is about seeking out positive healing experiences and spending time outside soaking up the goodness of vitamin D while taking in the cleansing energies and fresh air of being outside among nature.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question:
Why am I struggling to be honest with myself?

Aquarian Tarot

Reading Summary: Because change is hard… Juggling in my old way of doing things is hard to let go of (Two of Pentacles) because that familiarity is comforting to me (Six of Cups) and makes it difficult to choose a different path (Two of Rods).

Take Away:  It’s difficult to admit when you’re struggling, and that applies to me as well. I struggle all the time with the draw of the familiar and temptation to sink back into what I know so well rather than staying focused on the new path I’ve chosen for myself.  That struggle is… embarrassing and something that’s difficult to admit.

DECK USED:  AQUARIAN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: Is it always better to have more choices?

Wheel of the Year TarotReading Summary: There are always more choices available to us than we realize (The Fool). But as humans, we are not in the habit (The Devil) of seeking them out and instead stick with what we know (Six of Cups). When we do this, we miss out on long reaching opportunities and rewards (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I would interpret this answer as yes… and no.  What it’s saying is that we only perceive the number of choices we are able to handle… but that there are always more out there we cannot see.  When we open our minds to them, they become available to us… so I guess in my opinion this would be a yes.   Because the more open minded you are to possibilities and thinking outside the box, the more choices you have available to you… and I consider open mindedness and thinking outside the box to always be a good thing.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF THE YEAR TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic
:  plant the seed // take root // grow

Karma Tarot

Plant the seeds of doing things in a more patient and measured way (Knight of Coins)

Take root a more restrained approach (Temperance) over the wild charge driven by passionate intensity and interest (Knight of Swords).

Grow each day that you follow this path. With each day you practice this new form of patience, restraint, and measured approach, you build up the ability to instill these traits into your daily life with more skill and less effort (Strength).

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Do I believe I am creative? Why or Why not?

The Fifth TarotReading Summary: Yes (One of Shells). This is evident because I struggle with keeping a balance (Seven of Feathers Rx) between my responsibilities (Nine of Feathers) and the passion of my inner spark that drives me to go after and take part in (more like get carried away by) the things that inspire my creativity (Initiate of Fire). I often feel that my responsibilities (Nine of Feathers) are stealing away from (Seven of Feathers) my creative time (Initiate of Fire), and vice versa.

Take Away:  If I was not creative, there would be no struggle between my responsibilities and my passionate pursuit of those things that strike my interest.  It is in my nature to be both earthbound and realistic (Taurus Sun) as well as creativity driven (Scorpio Moon).  This conflict between the two is evidence of both sides of the coin and the constant need to find balance between them… thus evidence of my creativity.

DECK USED:  THE FIFTH TAROT