#TarotForGrowthJuly

Reactionary Resistance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was put off until the end of the day as I had a really long drive to do today and wanted to get on the road. I did take a few minutes to breathe and calm after the incident earlier today when the guy spit in my face… but it wasn’t a full meditation.  I’m honestly so tired that I’m not sure I will get it in today, but I’ll try to do it before bed.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Neptune card.  This deck is a combination of a full tarot deck and oracle deck in one.   This particular card is a part of the oracle side of the deck and represents the Greek god Neptune, who ruled over dreams and intuition, as well as introspection, perception, and psychic ability.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is how well the depiction of Neptune blends into his surroundings.  His coloring is a smooth blend to sea and sky, his hair swept with the clouds.  This speaks to me of  the ability we have to blend into our own surroundings and use that connection to better understand others and the world around us.

The message today is about listening.  It’s about paying attention and watching, and striving for understanding of other people and the world around us.

When I received this message, I thought it was a good one, but didn’t think there was anything specific in reference to it… and then I went to the post office and got up very close and personal with racism.  Now, I understand this card’s message much more.  It’s about stepping outside yourself in order to find some sort of understanding or peace with the incomprehensible.

It’s about taking yourself out of the personal chaos to connect with something bigger, and in doing so finding a way past the intensity of your initial reactions so that you can deal with the situation in a calm and competent way.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question:  How can I improve upon the limits I’ve placed on myself concerning my desires?

Way of the Panda Tarot

Reading Summary: Sometimes obtaining what you want takes time (Ace of Pentacles under Seven of Pentacles). Don’t worry so much (Nine of Swords) or allow yourself to feel heartache or disappointment (Three of Swords) just because you can’t have something right away.

Take Away:  I’m doing just fine concerning my limits and going after what I desire.  Where I need to direct my focus and my efforts is on controlling my impatience and allowing things to develop at their own pace.  Sometimes obtaining your desires takes time and I struggle with that.  The cards indicate I need to make sure I stay positive during those moments of impatience.

DECK USED:  WAY OF THE PANDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I bring more joy into my life at this time?

Lumina TarotReading Summary: Generosity (Six of Pentacles) of mind and self control (King of Swords) instead of listening to your inner critic (The Devil).

Take Away:  Because of my self-destructive urges, listening to my inner critic is not just something I do out of habit, but also out of a sort of vicious cycle of self harm.

Since I’ve been on medication that actually works, I rarely have suicidal thoughts or urges, and my self harming behavior has become far, far more subtle.  But, those self harm urges are still there. If I want to introduce more joy into my life, I need to make a concerted effort to be kinder to myself… as well as making more a conscious effort at increasing my control over the tone of my internal dialogue.

DECK USED:  LUMINA TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  cleanse // clear // renew

Animism Tarot

Cleanse – Nine of Pentacles – Clean out your closets.

Literally.   This isn’t a metaphor.  I had a plan to clean out two of the closets in my condo this summer, and I haven’t touched either of them yet.

Clear – Five of Swords – Let go of your angst.

After what happened today outside the post office, this makes perfect sense, but I think that this is about more than that.  I’ve been a bit short and cranky the past week or so compared to usual.  I’m not entirely sure where those feelings have been coming from, but I think you’re on to something about the extra emotions adding a level of abrasion that isn’t usually present. 

Renew – The Hermit – Take some time to yourself to do some soul searching.

It’s still extremely difficult for me to get some decent alone time.  There is always people at home and when I go out into the woods I have to do it “on a schedule” rather than just going out and letting myself forget about time and responsibilities as I used to.  I need to make a more concerted effort to give myself some alone time that is quality time.

DECK USED:  ANIMISM TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What advice do I need to give myself and take to heart?

Wild Unknown Tarot

Reading Summary: Take some damn time for yourself or else.

Take Away:  This is a warning that if I do not put in some actual quality alone time with myself I’m going to be sorry.   That sense of overwhelm and chaotic mess that I become when things get out of control internally is coming and if I don’t find a way to “steal away” the quality alone time for myself  that I need, that chaotic internal mess is going to become the center of my world.

DECK USED:  WILD UNKNOWN TAROT

The Follow Through

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_5203Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was a guided meditation that focused upon the benefits of sticking to your meditation practice rather than giving up when things don’t start changing (or getting easier) right away.

This isn’t the reason that I personally give up, it seems.   The problem for me is that self destructive creature that lives in my mind, hiding quietly in the shadows seeking out the small cracks and secret openings that will allow it to slip in and wreak havoc.    I know about this tendency and I struggle against it all the time, but sometimes? It manages to get its nails in deep even when I’m trying my best to not let it.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Two of Fire (Two of Wands) which is traditionally interpreted as finding direction and making plans.  It’s about going after what kindles your inner spark… specifically the fact that in order to head on a journey, you need to first make a plan and choose a direction.

What stands out to me the strongest in the image of this card today is the tools set on the counter.   There’s a plan here, and preparation has begun to get things done.  You have your tools and you have a purpose, a direction, and a plan.  But also, I note that there are no hands.

This speaks to me of a reminder that planning can only take you so far, then you have to either put your plans into action, or abandon them and walk away.   I don’t want to walk away… so it’s time to start moving in the direction I’ve chosen to continue in.  That is, the direction of the emotional growth I’ve been working with so far through the spring and summer months.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question:  What are the consequences of continuing to hide from my deepest desires?

Veleda Woods Tarot

Reading Summary: 9 & 2 rx. Less connection to others (Two of Cups Rx) and less satisfaction in my successes (Nine of Pentacles Rx), as well as increased apathy and and a more vocal inner critic casting judgment upon myself (Justice).

Take Away:  When you don’t take care of yourself, the scales of balance tip and the result is that you end up less healthy and less well internally too.   Apathy and negative thoughts creep in to pollute your thoughts and feelings, making it harder to bond with others and connect deeply with them, as well as making it difficult to enjoy your success because you’re too focused upon what you are perceiving as your failures.

DECK USED:  VELEDA WOODS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Unexpected Boon / Potential Obstacle

Hanson Roberts TarotReading Summary: Being able to get to that place of abundant stability and security that I crave (Ten of Pentacles), even though the emotions feel like they stand in the way (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  The unexpected boon here is the ability to find that place of abundance regardless of the hurdles along the way.   The potential obstacle is self doubt.  It’s about the fact that I rarely see my path on an emotional level but rather a logical one.   If I want to make sure that the emotional side of things is not an obstacle, I need to learn how to handle my emotions and use them to my advantage instead of allowing them to hold me up or drag me back.

DECK USED:  HANSON ROBERTS TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  listen // learn // teach

Tarotbot Tarot

Listen – The Hanged Man – Make sure I am not closing myself off to other perspectives and ideas. Sometimes when I am feeling vulnerable I struggle with staying open, but in truth… these times are the most opportune times in which to learn.  It’s important to stay open so that the discomfort is something learned from rather than just something gotten through and discarded.

Learn – Seven of Cups – How to make choices instead of always trying to take on too much. This is a difficult lesson for me, and one that I am presently working very hard at.  I have a habit of filling my plate too full and struggling with overwhelm as a result. Instead of allowing myself to put so much on my plate, I need to seek out ways to minimize my responsibilities and delegate.

Teach – Seven of Wands – Independence. How to stand up for what you believe in. And how to be confident in one’s beliefs and their individual uniqueness. These are things that I very much enjoy nurturing in others and hope to continue to teach other throughout my entire life.  I feel that with each person I am able to help in finding their self confidence and independence, I am making the world a better place as a result.

DECK USED:  TAROTBOT TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What am I passionate about?

Slavic Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m all for fighting for those things that I believe in and feel are important (Five of Wands)… but I also know when it’s time to let go and move on to something better (Six of Swords) in order to protect the things that are truly near and dear to me from harm (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  The cards here indicate that what I am most passionate about are those things that are so very near and dear to me that I want to protect them, and that I am willing to abandon “the fight” of my own interests and drive in order to protect.

DECK USED:  SLAVIC TAROT

Healthy Boundaries

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_5185Today’s meditation was a repeat of the method I used yesterday combining the harp strings and intermediate chimes with the guided meditation.  It was really nice.  I think that the interval chimes help me to relax more, as I’m not worrying about how long to hold my stretch or how long I’ve been in the meditation.   Instead, the chimes help increment it out so that I know exactly when to switch positions without worrying if I’ve held it too long or not long enough.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about not getting ahead of yourself.   It discussed how it’s all well and good to have plans and goals, but when you’re working towards those goals?  Make sure you aren’t so focused on the future that you’re missing out on the present.  It’s what you do in the now that nurtures  the roots and foundation of what will grow and  eventually bloom in the future.

Herbcrafter's Tarot - Four of Air - LavenderToday’s draw is the Four of Air (Four of Swords) which is traditionally interpreted as a time of rest and restoration.

In the  Swords suit, there are a lot of struggles and trials represented, and in this card you are given the chance to take a step back and a deep breath, to reflect upon how things are going and make decisions that could change your future path.

Lavender is not just a plant of relaxation and ease, but is also a plant used to dissuade other plants and animals from encroaching upon gardens due to its woody stems and fragrant scent.  This allows the plants in the garden to grow in peace.

The message that I see in this card today is that boundaries are a good thing.  They allow you to be comfortable and relax.   By having good boundaries, you are able to carve out time for the rest and relaxation that you need, including the reevaluation that might come with it.

I had not thought of using boundaries as a way to carve out that time, and I think it’s something I need to spend some time reflecting on.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question:  How am I allowing what others see as realistic keep me from my dreams?

Minchiate Etruria Anima Antiqua Tarot

Reading Summary: It’s my own realism (Seven of Coins) that stops me dead in my tracks (Ten of Swords), not others opinions. I’m not used to allowing my emotions to lead (King of Cups) and following my more frivolous impulses (Sagittarius).

Take Away: Emotions and logic so very often do not mix.  It’s like oil and water.  It’s something that I struggle with, as I am so used to ruling my life through logic and thought… and disregarding emotions and the nonsensical as without worth.  It’s a bit of a kick in the pants to realize that there is value in these things… and that I’m now left figuring out how to change how I handle them.  

DECK USED:  MINCHIATE ETRURIA ANIMA ANTIQUA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Do Spread #1

Tarot of the Journey to the OrientWhat needs to be left behind as I focus on future growth? – King of Swords – Critical thinking and too much realism.  As mentioned in a previous reading, I’ve spent most of my life using logic as my foundation for how I deal with the world.  In furthering my growth, these habits need to be set aside in order to give that growth I have going on a chance to flourish.

What is in full bloom for me right now? – Six of Swords – A transition to something better.  This transition is moving away from swords and into water, as indicated in the imagery of the card.  I am at a high point in this transition into inviting more emotion into my life as a whole instead of locking it away and ignoring it.  Growth often takes steps from discovery, to exploration, and finally incorporation.  I have been in the exploration phase for some time now, and things are now moving towards the incorporation aspects of my growth.

Where do I need to direct my focus for future growth? – King of Cups – Allowing my emotions to take the lead more.  As stated above, it’s time to start focusing on incorporating the things I have learned into my life, and allowing my emotions to take the lead more often is one of the ways in which to do this.  It means being open about how I feel instead of hiding those feelings away, and following where those emotions lead rather than ignoring them.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE JOURNEY TO THE ORIENT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  Full Moon in Capricorn:  contribute // trust this voice // outward focus

Tarot Maddonni

Contribute – King of Swords and Seven of Coins – Consider wise ways in which your long-term successes can be shared with others.  These successes that have been built over time are stable and have the ability to be shared without being put at risk.  Make sure you choose wisely, and don’t act in impulse.

Trust This Voice – Five of Cups – Listen to yourself when you are feeling shorted… sometimes it’s true. This goes for when you are receiving from others, but it also (and even more importantly) is valid when considering how you are treating yourself.  Don’t punish yourself for

Go – Eight of Coins – Skill development is a key factor in most of your life’s pursuits.  This is no different whether you are in a time of growth and transition, or standing on stable ground.   Don’t forsake your skills and turn away from them during this time, instead find ways to enjoy them and expand upon your talents.

Take Away: 

DECK USED:  TAROT MADDONNI

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What are my creative dreams?

Star Seeker Tarot

Reading Summary: Clever strategizing (Knight of Swords) to take my creative passions forward (Six of Wands) and make money off of them in order to further home and financial stability in my life (Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  My creative dreams right now are focused on taking my creative business to a level where I can be self-sustaining without needing to work myself to the bone in the process. I don’t dream of retirement or relaxation and aimless creativity, instead the dream is about sustainability.

DECK USED:  STAR SEEKER’S TAROT

Brain Shuffle

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and I did something a little different today (which I’m surprised my phone cooperated with me and it worked).  Essentially I overlaid my harp meditation with the incremental chimes over-top the guided meditation.  So I got both the guide’s voice doing her guided meditation thing, and the harp in the background, and the occasional charms that tell me when to change positions in my stretch.   It sounds complicated, but it was really great and definitely something I’ll be doing again.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Page of Air (Page of Swords) which is traditionally interpreted as a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, logic, and the realm of communication.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today was the swirling of the fish around the central figure.   This swirling reminds me of the confusion that I sometimes go through when my brain has one of it’s “moments”.

This got me to thinking about why sometimes I’ll get in the habit of doing something (like messaging you as soon as I get home from work, for instance) and I’ll do that for a while and then suddenly I just stop. I know this is something that confuses you when it has something to do with how I interact with you specifically. But I want you to know that it’s not just you, and in truth?  I don’t even realize when it happens.  It’s sort of as if my brain goes through some sort of cyclical reshuffling on a periodic basis. At these times, some small things get lost in the shuffle, and then when things re-shuffle again (or you remind me)… they resurface.

I don’t know if this is natural and something that everyone goes through… or if it’s part of the results of the head injury that I experienced when I was younger that still at times screws with my memory. Either way, the fish in today’s card brought this to mind, and I think that the message here isn’t so much a “moral of the story” message as it is an encouragement for me to think about this in general and let it become something I’m more conscious of as a whole, even if I don’t realize it’s happening in the moment.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question:  How are fear and shame playing into my refusal to acknowledge my purpose?

Dixit Cards v4 Origins Expansion Pack

Reading Summary: There is a continuation of color in these cards that indicates a building from one card to the next.  In the first card, you have a moose among men and he swings with them without fear of condemnation or reprisal… shameless.   In the center card, the knight stands in the mouth of the monster without fear or either falling or being eaten alive… fearless.  In the last card, the owl eats fruit from its own brain tree, indicating self sufficiency.

Take Away:  I am shameless and fearless in this area. I am centered in my purpose and know my path well as it is the path I chose for myself.

This has always been the case for me, and I honestly have no idea where the confidence to walk my own path came from.  It’s just always been there.  I know what I like and no amount of fear or shame can sway me from it.  I know what’s right for me, whether that’s something I like or some moral dilemma, or the steps taken along my spiritual path or my life path.

I honestly have struggled with the Tarot for Growth questions for the past few days, because struggling to find my purpose is just not something that I personally have an issue with, so the questions that focus upon that issue are really not something I relate well to.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARDS v4 ORIGINS EXPANSION PACK

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  What do I need to focus on for self-care for this upcoming full moon?

Numinous TarotReading Summary:  Take some time to appreciate all that you’ve accomplished (Ten of Tomes), with extra emphasis placed upon the fact that you have accomplished these things by being the capable and resourceful individual that you are (The Magician).  Use this knowledge to push back against (Explorer of Bells) that inner critic that keeps trying to beat you into submission lately (Three of Bells).

Take Away:  My inner critic is a son of a bitch.  It’s no secret that this is something that I struggle with a lot. It works hard to convince me that nothing I do is ever good enough or ever enough at all. It pushes me forward, driving me to always give my all to every little thing… and the thing is?  It’s not just exhausting, but it’s impossible to give your all to every little thing.  With this upcoming full moon, the cards remind me to not give that inner critic credence, but instead look at all that I have done and how capable these accomplishments prove that I am… no matter what that inner critic says to the contrary.

DECK USED:  NUMINOUS TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  stop // use caution // go

Women of Science Tarot

Stop – Three of Astro – Don’t allow your thoughts to pick apart at your inner confidence. It’s important to take what that inner critic says with a grain of salt.

Use Caution – Three of Macro and Justice – Pay attention to what tasks you are farming out to others.  You have exacting standards, and you don’t want to hand out tasks to others that will lower the quality of the end results.

Go – Ten of Astro – As a previous reading I did earlier in the week stated, it’s time to move forward with the transition and growth that I’m going through.  I’ve spent time gathering wool and exploring, but I can’t stay still forever.  It’s time to consciously work on letting go of the old and stepping into the new.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT

Soothing Warmth

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was one of the harp tone meditations where I sink into the sounds of the harp while chimes mark position changes for my piriformis stretching. It was easy and relaxing, and went by really quickly for some reason.  It’s odd how some days, that ten minutes can feel like an hour… and other days it feels like just a few minutes instead of a whole ten.

Herbcrafter's Tarot - Madre of Fire - ThymeToday’s draw is the Madre of Fire (Queen of Wands) which is traditionally interpreted as a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of one’s drive, passionate endeavors, interests, and inner spark.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today (besides the huge harvest of thyme) was the honey pot. Thymus vulgaris and honey are used to make natural cough syrup that has a warming and soothing effect on both wet and dry coughs as well as bronchitis.

The message I hear from this card today is that I need to focus on some self soothing.  There’s been a bit of irritation going on lately that flares up then eases and flares up again over the past couple of weeks.   I’ve not been able to really find an underlying source, and the card here indicates maybe the goal shouldn’t be so much about digging in the dirt, but in easing the blisters on my fingertips.

DECK USED:  THE HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What does my subconscious want to say that I’m ignoring?

Student Tarot 4 Godard's BirdsReading Summary: Instant gratification (Queen of Swords) is all well and good, but you need to seize control of yourself (King of Swords) now so that you don’t lose sight of the long-term growth (Seven of Pentacles) that is your ultimate goal.

Side Note:  Instant gratification indicated in the Queen of Swords is in reference to me relating the Queen of Swords to my mother, and my mother’s nearly universal attitude of “I want what I want, and I want it NOW”.  This is a personal correlation and “instant gratification” is not normally associated with the Queen of Swords.

Take Away:  It’s time to slow down on my spending a bit and take a more measured approach so that I don’t find myself in hot water down the road.  I did a bit of splurging on playing card decks over the past month, and while those decks are pretty inexpensive (compared to tarot), they still add up over time.   Add to that a bit of carelessness in my grocery spending, and I’m at that point where I need to get things back in hand again.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT 4 GODARD’S BIRDS

Ingenuity and Adaptation

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and was a centering meditation I use to find focus sometimes before doing client readings.

In this type of meditation, I often place labradorite on my solar plexus for soothing calm, smoky quartz on my forehead for clarity, clear quartz in my left palm for a wash of cleansing energy, and honey calcite in my left to attune myself to exuding a positive and caring influence on others.

This meditation is about attuning myself into these stones and their energies, and creating a flow of energy that sweeps through these different locations and qualities in order to create a sense of centering and ease.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Knight of Fire (Wands) which is traditionally interpreted as an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s passionate endeavors, drive, innovations, and that inner spark that creates interest and pushes us forward.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the rope and climbing hook that the imposter soldier is carrying.   The difference between him and the other soldiers is obvious, and yet he blends in even as he goes about his own thing.

The message here is that sometimes the things you do to protect yourself and others aren’t about confrontation. Rather, they are about knowing your skills and using them with ingenuity to get where you want to go.  Not everything has to be a fight or a struggle.  Think outside the box and find a better way.

I’m not sure where this message fits into my life at this moment, but the message rings true and relevant, as if it is something I need to keep in mind in order to adjust my behavior when needed so that things can go more smoothly than the would otherwise.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  A Mistake Made / A Lesson Learned

Midcenturian TarotReading Summary: When your crown becomes too heavy (King of Wands), you can’t always run away from your problems (Six of Swords). The lesson is that you continue to carry the stresses and worries with you instead of leaving them behind (Nine of Swords).

Take Away:  When I emancipated from my parent’s home, I expected that my life would be transformed and so would I. The new freedom was expected to give me a new perspective… and it did. But what I didn’t do was erase the damage of what had come before. That damage was carried with me and had to be dealt with regardless of the fact that I had moved on in other ways.

You can’t leave the damage done to you behind in the past.  It won’t heal by being buried or shoved aside.  Instead, it will fester under the surface until you ultimately decide to (or are forced to) deal with it.

DECK USED:  MIDCENTURIAN TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  what is vulnerable // what is safe // what protects

Evolution Tarot

What is Vulnerable – Ace of Potions – My emotional growth.

What is Safe – Three of Coins – My business and working with friends to keep it stable.

What Protects – Queen of Wands – My inner spark that keeps me moving forward even when I do so at a slower pace.

Take Away:  This reading is about my current transition and the efforts I’m taking to stay on track with my emotional growth rather than allowing myself to delve back into the familiar shove of responsibility.   The fact that I am allowing others in and to help me is giving me the room that I need to keep that growth going and keep myself from closing off and bearing down in the physical world or responsibilities.  Instead, I’m allowed to explore while letting my inner spark move me forward instead of fear and obligation.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: A card to describe your creative self.

Albano Waite Tarot - Eight of PentaclesI am a hard worker that likes to hone my creativity into expertise.  I also have a habit of taking my creative interests and turning it into money making endeavors.

I think this is a part of the reason that I find it hard to just “relax and be creative”.  For me creativity is more than just something you do in your spare time or enjoy as a hobby.  Nearly everything I do has a creative aspect to it, which incorporates creativity into every aspect of my life in one way or another, including in how I make my money and provide resources for myself, my home, and my loved ones.

DECK USED:  ALBANO WAITE TAROT