tarot reading for self

Sometimes It Hurts

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Today’s meditation was skipped once again, this time because sleeping was so much more appealing.

The Gnostic Tarot and How to Be a Wildflower DeckToday’s draw is the Three of Air (Swords), which is traditionally a representation of heartbreaks, disappointments, and hurt feelings.  Now, you might think that this theme should be a part of the Cups suit that rules over emotions, instead of the Sword suit that rules over the mind. But, we have to keep in mind that it is through our thoughts that we experience many of our negative emotions, and depression resides within the mind and not the heart.  Thus, it is through the Swords suit we find the card that speaks to these issues.

The thing about unpleasant and painful experiences, is that we learn from them.  We learn how to be better or what to do better, we grow and grasp things from a different perspective… but it is through pain that we do this.   The affirmation card here is a reminder to allow your heart to lead, even in times of pain and disappointment.  Even when you fear that it may hurt in the end.

The message today is that old adage by Alfred Lord Tennyson… “It’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.”

DECK USED:  THE GNOSTIC TAROT AND HOW TO BE A WILDFLOWER DECK

Mr Lionharts’ #TheNovemberTarot Solitary Tarot Challenge Prompt
Questions for November 6th

Mystic Grove Oracle and Hush TarotWhat kind of energy surrounding me today?
Holly, Blackthorn, Yew, Two of Swords

Protection, especially from negativity, is a prevailing theme throughout the three trees that lend their energy to this reading. The Two of  Swords then indicates that in order to set aside negativity and protect yourself from it, you have to actually make an active and conscious choice to lean in a healthier and more positive direction.

Being aware of what’s happening with your pessimism and negative inner dialogue (Blackthorn), good luck (Holly), and the assistance of your guides (Yew) can only do so much to help you.  If you’re not willing to be decisive and put in the effort to lean into optimism, they won’t be able to keep you uplifted on their own.

How can I vibe with this energy?
Ash, Maple, Justice

Ask and you shall receive.  Cause and effect is a huge theme in your life and it is no less so here than elsewhere. If you give yourself positivity, work towards optimism, and be kind to yourself… in turn you receive positive results from that hard work. Your life becomes sweeter, happier, more positive and you become more conscious of the love and support that others provide you.

DECK USED: MYSTIC GROVE ORACLE AND HUSH TAROT

Tarot Nerd’s Better Boundaries Tarot Challenge Prompt
Questions for November 6th thru 8th

The Gnostic TarotWhat is my communication style?

Six of Air – Because of your mutism, you require people to abandon their normal ways of communicating in order to accommodate your needs in that department. Although you adapt to help others understand you more easily, they must adapt as well. Some are more willing to try new things… new methods… than others.

How can I best convey how I feel to others?

Death – Patience and adaptability are both necessary to get across your feelings to others.  Not just because of your communication challenges caused by your mutism, but because you are still learning how to listen to and understand your emotions. This means you are still learning how to express them in constructive ways. This change in how you deal with your emotions and express them is slow going, but continues forward one step at a time.

How can I best convey what I need to others?

The Fool – You can best convey what you need to others by throwing caution to the wind. Just come out with it instead of worrying about timing, wording, and strategy. Sometimes you just need to get it out and set it free.

DECK USED: THE GNOSTIC TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

It’s amazing how play with Gideon, even when it’s just something mundane and/or silly, can help make me feel more at peace and happy. Today we played Alexandros and Tatsumaki.

Cartomancy Reading – Focus On Practice

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“I wish you well on the start of this new month! It may be slow, fast or just right, but no matter the pace, know that you are still an amazing soul.”

The Reminisce Playing CardsWhat is an aspect of my practice can I look into by the end of this week?

King of Diamonds and Jack of Clubs – You need to explore different ways you can get out in nature and ground yourself that won’t aggravate your knee. There are benefits you get from spending time in nature that you need right now. Benefits that can help you transition into the holiday rush that starts in a few days just a bit more smoothly.

How can I better apply this feature of my practice to my daily life?

Four of Clubs and Nine of Spades – Stop allowing your mental health to keep you burrowed in at home. Hiding away from the world in the comfort of your home and wallowing in that welcoming comfort might feel good, but it isn’t helping anything. In fact, it may be furthering the mental health struggles you’re trying to get a handle on.

What is a way I can finish this week with a better or more improved outlook for next week?

Three of Hearts and Jack of Hearts – Give in to pursuing those things that will lift your spirits.

DECK USED: THE REMINISCE PLAYING CARDS

The Authentic Self

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Today’s meditation was skipped again.  Instead I spent the time (and about two hours extra beside that) on the phone with my bank sorting through fraudulent charges on my credit card.

Valentina Tarot and How to Be a Wildflower DeckToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s passions, enthusiasm, interests, determination, willpower, and inner spark.This often translates into themes that have to do with nurturing and encouraging the dreams, passions, and interests of others.

Combined with the affirmation card today, what we see here is just that.  It is about doing what is in your heart, expressing yourself, and allowing your true colors to shine free.

In nature, this is often displayed clearly in the colors displayed on the outside.  With people?  We have to work a little harder to show our true colors sometimes, especially if we’re used to being defensive or hiding from others.

DECK USED:  VALENTINA TAROT AND HOW TO BE A WILDFLOWER DECK

Mr Lionharts’ #TheNovemberTarot Solitary Tarot Challenge Prompt
Questions for November 5th

The Priestess of Light Oracle and Dancing in the Dark TarotWhat is a personal dream I should honor or work on?
Calming the Waters and Four of Swords

The dream of allowing yourself to have the calm, restful recuperation that you need. Even in times of actual physical injury, you rush recovery instead of allowing yourself the time that you truly need.  This kindness and space to heal fully and completely is something you continue to push aside again and again, even though you long for it often. Only you can give yourself permission to take that time.

What can I establish with manifesting this dream into reality?
Divine Mother and Four of Pentacles

A kinder and more nurturing life. More stability and more strength bred from that stable footing created by being the calm in the storm as well as hale and healthy.

DECK USED: THE PRIESTESS OF LIGHT ORACLE AND DANCING IN THE DARK TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsNov2021 Challenge Prompt
Questions for November 5th and 6th

Valentina TarotWish for the Future
Queen of Pentacles – Nurturing stability.

This is an echo of the Mr Lionharts reading that I did for today (previous reading).  It’s what I want.  I want stability, but I want to be kinder to myself.  I want to allow myself the things I need to rest, recover, and find my footing.  I want to feel cared for instead of neglected, but the only one neglecting me?  Is me.

Next Step in Getting There
Six of Cups – Letting go of the past.

A lot of the beliefs, drive, and tendencies to treat myself cruelly are rooted in the past. Finding ways to leave the past where it belongs and seeking out new ways to see myself and my performance in work and in life is the next step in “getting there”.  It’s something I’m working on, but I understand it’s going to take some time.

The Home of My Hope
Five of Wands – Those things  you hold dear and believe in.

This imagery reflects upon my belief in the need for fairness in the world. The need for people to fight for fairness. Yes, I know life isn’t fair, but I feel it could be much, much MORE so if people would only stand up for that concept instead of doing whatever they want or people please things into imbalance. No matter how many times I see fairness disregarded or abandoned, I continually seek it out, expect it, and hope for it to emerge in all sorts of everyday situations.

Advice from my guides that I need to hear at this time concerning my friendships.
The Heirophant – Lead and give guidance.

Your friends look up to you and through watching you, you give guidance on how to do things, and how to be better themselves. It’s okay that you don’t see it… just know that it’s true.

DECK USED: VALENTINA TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took an ibuprofen and a nap.  I hate that taking naps cuts into time I could be spending with Gideon.  I wish there was more time in a day. A couple extra hours would be perfect.

The Magic of Enthusiasm

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Today’s meditation was attempted, although I was a bit too restless to actually pull it off.

Terra Volatile and How to Be a Wildflower DeckToday’s draw is the Eight of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of hard work, honing one’s craft, apprenticeship, development of expertise in a craft, and can indicate repetitive tasks (which are often necessary to develop mentioned expertise).

Today is an orders day, which means I need to put into practice my skills and expertise. The affirmation card is a reminder that these skills are an expertise for a reason.  Because I enjoy what I do, because I love creating things.  This allowed me to make a living out of something I love, and that it’s important to look at the work through this lens instead of letting lack of enthusiasm leech in and steal away the potential for pleasure.

DECK USED:  TERRA VOLATILE AND HOW TO BE A WILDFLOWER DECK

Mr Lionharts’ #TheNovemberTarot Solitary Tarot Challenge Prompt
Questions for November 4th

Hedge Guild Otherworld Oracle and The Witches TarotHow can I nurture my creativity or curiosity today?
The Seer and Knight of Cups

Stop looking outside of yourself, for that creative inspiration and motivation you seek lies within.  Your intuition and creative spark are related and you find the most enjoyment in your craft and creativity when you allow them (as well as your curiosity) free reign to explore and enjoy.

Why is it important for me to nurture this right now?
Lady of the Hedge and Hel

Nurturing this right now will help in soothing your feelings of unrest and anxiety, as well as your feelings of discontent and the leeching of enthusiasm that you’ve been experiencing.

DECK USED: HEDGE GUILD OTHERWORLD ORACLE AND THE WITCHES TAROT

Tarot Nerd’s Better Boundaries Tarot Challenge Prompt
Questions for November 1st thru 5th

Terra VolatileWhat is the difference between a wall and a boundary, to me personally?

A wall is to block out something or someone that is usually not life changing just annoying or frivolous (Three of Cups), whereas a boundary is there to promote healthy growth (The Universe).

Where have I built walls that need taking down?

The Fool – The walls that are currently blocking out or tamping down on your enthusiasm for life and new things. You need to tap into that enthusiasm, and there are walls in the way that are separating you from that spark you need right now.

How do boundaries benefit me?

Two of Coins – Boundaries benefit you by providing balance in your life and encouraging a more diverse and healthy use of your time. By having good boundaries in place for yourself and others in your life, you are able to make sure that you don’t focus too hard on one thing and end up neglecting other things as a result.

How do my boundaries benefit my relationships with others?

The Chariot – You are not swayed by peer pressure or conformity. Boundaries allow you the control and independence that you need in your life, and thus shape the dynamics of your friendships, relationships, and interactions with others.

Where in my life would most benefit from stronger boundaries?

Queen of Cups – The desire for emotional mothering is something you need to build bigger boundaries concerning. Every time you think that your mother is going to give you that type of emotional support, you are then crushed again when her true nature shows up to spoil those hopes.

DECK USED: TERRA VOLATILE

Daily Self Kindness

(Writing this the day after.)  I went to bed early.

New Moon in Scorpio – November 2021

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Today is the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

New Moon in Scorpio Tarot Reading - Lux Ex Umbra Tarot

1. What do you need to face that you’ve been avoiding?

Knight of Swords – Your reckless energy expenditures. Where are you putting your time and energy that is not paying off? Here, we return to something that came up in a reading done yesterday.  That is to say… it’s time to stop wasting time playing games on your phone.  They aren’t giving you the rest you need, nor are they relaxing you at the moment.  They’re just allowing you to retreat when it would be far healthier to spend your time in other ways.

2. What secrets need to come into the light?

King of Coins – It’s time to go some financial reorganization. You’ve put it off for too long. Things that need to be attended to need to be actually dealt with. This includes telling L it’s time to get a job again (okay, so not until January, but it needs to be brought up so she has time to prepare), instead of pretending you’ve got that shit under control without her help.

3. What conversation needs to be had?

Two of Cups – More appreciation of loved ones, more “I love you” for Gid. You’ve slacked off in both of these of late. Although it’s true that your love and appreciation is there whether you express it openly or not, it’s something that they need to hear.

4. What do I need to forgive in myself?

Temperance – Moderation does not come easily to you in so many, many different ways.  If you enjoy it, it can become addictive. If you can punish yourself with it, it can also become addictive. It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it can fill one or both of those prerequisites. You need to remember that it’s natural to slip up now and then. Just keep trying.

5. What shadow aspect requires integration?

Three of Coins – Why is asking for help so difficult for you? This is not the time of year for shadow work for you, but it is something you struggle with and need to be aware of, as not asking for help can easily become a form of self sabotage at this time of year.

DECK USED:  LUX EX UMBRA TAROT

Fun Can Be Soothing

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Today’s meditation was skipped once again.

Epic Tarot and How to Be a Wildflower DeckToday’s draw is the Ace of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of the seed (or in the case of the Wands suit, the spark) of new beginnings and the potential they hold in the areas of one’s drive, enthusiasm, willpower, motivation, and passions. This is less about whatever it is that creates the spark, so much as the spark itself as a light within you to drive you forward.

Combined with the affirmation card for today, what I see here is a reminder that inspiration and enthusiasm does not always have to be chaotic or filled with harsh energy. Some things can be approached with an eagerness that is gentle and temperate instead of wild and pushy. What things in your life do you love that aren’t a clamoring cacophony of demand in your life?

I have very few of these things in my own life. My inner dialogue is constant and often overwhelming, and very often loud and demanding. It leaves little room for things that foster peace that I might enjoy. That is something I need to foster more of in my life, and that is where I feel that ideally meditation should step in and fit the bill… except that I’ve been allowing the chaos to push it aside.

DECK USED:  EPIC TAROT AND HOW TO BE A WILDFLOWER DECK

Mr Lionharts’ #TheNovemberTarot Solitary Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question for November 3rd: Think of something good/nice you can do for yourself today. Draw a card (or cards) for feedback on your thoughts.

Jeu de Tarot BretonSomething Nice: Let’s stay away from the games on the phone today.

Reading Summary: It’s not going to be easy (Valet de Pique) but it will allow for you to nurture yourself in healthier ways that don’t close you off emotionally (Dame des Cœurs) and help get you back on track to the things you should be doing (Le Pape).

Take Away: This is about my addictive nature when it comes to things I enjoy… or can hide within. I have been using the games on my phone to hide from reality, to hide from my feelings, to hide from my thoughts.  To retreat… and yet not rest.

Learning to go back to dealing with things in a different way is going to be healthy for me, but not easy.  Necessary, though.

DECK USED: JEU DE TAROT BRETON

#DiscordTarotholicsNov2021 Challenge Prompt
Questions for November 3rd and 4th

Spellcasting Oracle Cards and Epic TarotWhat harsh truths do you prefer to ignore?
Prosperity, The Emperor atop Ace of Swords

You focus far too much on what is profitable, prioritizing it over new ideas that you may want to explore that aren’t filled with as much monetary potential.

There are a great number of things I would like to explore, but put on the back burner due to the lack of profitability. The message here is that I need to focus less on the money factor, and more on how fun or interesting exploring these other projects could be.  Add factors of enthusiasm, curiosity, and potential fun into the decision process instead of basing my decision fully on if I can profit from them.

What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?
Grieving, The Empress atop The Star

Stop focusing on the freedoms and pleasures that have to be put on the back burner in the upcoming weeks. Instead, you need to be training your attention on nurturing yourself in all the ways you can, and fostering that connection with optimism that has been faltering of late.

DECK USED: SPELLCASTING ORACLE CARDS AND EPIC TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I got my flu shot today.