#selfloveforthesummer

Sleep Deprivation and Chainsaws

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Today’s meditation was skipped because I dozed off.

Luna Sol Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is The Magician card, which is traditionally a representation of being in possession of all of the skills, abilities, and tools necessary to reach one’s goals and accomplish one’s ends. It’s about being capable and skilled, resourceful and gifted with what is needed to get the job done.

I’ve been seeing the Magician a lot lately. In fact it’s been daily… maybe even multiple times per day over the past week or so.

The message from the Magician when combined with the affirmation card for today is a reminder that you can have all the skillz and tools in the world, but if you’re not getting the rest that your body and mind needs?  You’re not going to be able to actually use those tools as intended.

And keep in mind that sleep deprivation is not the only type of lack of rest there is.  Pushing too hard, demanding too much, stressing over every little thing… all of these things are also things you need rest from in order to function at full capacity.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

CoffeexTarot’s Self Love For The Summer Prompt
Questions for June 29th & 30th

Prairie Majesty Oracle and Luna Sol TarotHow can I bring more peace into my life?
Earthworm (Breathe) and Five of Disks

Stop worrying so much about failure.  Let go of your scarcity issues and the fear that you’ve allowed to drive you for so long. It’s okay to ease up on yourself and breathe. Shit is not going to fall apart just because you’re not pushing yourself past your limits.

How can I accept more love this summer?
Two of Swords, Prairie Dog (Dig) atop Dickcissel (Warble)

This answer echoes back to the previous question and the need to make definitive decisions about how you want things to go in your life now.  Are you going to allow yourself to be driven by fear and dictated by your past?  Or are you going to step forward into a kinder and more genuinely -you- way of treating yourself that doesn’t involve being abusive to yourself? The healthy choice is obvious, and leads to that acceptance of love mentioned in this prompt.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT AND PRAIRIE MAJESTY ORACLE

#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Grab a spread of your choice that you’ve been curious about… and give it a go!

Mykologia Fungi Themed Oracle and The Brady Tarot

A Card to Begin the Second Half of the Year
Red Cage (Clathrus ruber) / Stagnancy – You have been feeling a bit stuck in your growth for a while now, twisting against the caged bonds that you can’t quite seem to break free of. Part of this is a discomfort with letting go of the familiar, but don’t discount the idea that outside influences are also at play here.

Progress of Seeds Planted in Early 2021
Anemone Stinkhorn (Aseroe rubra) / Like Attracts Like – Are you perpetuating what you want or are you encouraging negative influences to flow. If you want positivity, luck, and happiness then you need to work at promoting happiness in your life.  This is why you are currently stuck in limbo and confusion.  You’re not being decisive enough, and you’re not working hard enough to push toward optimism.

Action to Take to Reach My Goals
Brain Mushroom (Gyromitra esculenta) / Intellect – You need to tip a bit back toward logic and intellect.  You’re rushing the emotions thing and that’s creating a negative influence and impatience.  Ease up a bit.  It’s okay to lean into logic.  You don’t have to discount one to foster the growth and health of the other.

A Key Thing Coming In For Me This Year
Reishi (Ganoderma lucidum) / Lucidity – Clarity of thought including finding clarity in the places where you are now struggling in a fog of confusion.  You have the opportunity to seize that clarity and make it your own, and from there to better express to others not just how you are feeling but where these feelings come from.  It’s here in this place of clarity and expression where you’ll find balance.

Outside Influences: Positive or Negative
Destroying Angel (Amanita bisporigera) / Second Guesses – When your instinct or intuition says something, make damned sure that you’re listening.  It’s so easy sometimes to fall into second guessing those intuitive moments or instinctual reactions.  But… they are never wrong.  Ever.  So don’t argue against them, just listen and act according to their guidance.

Who or What Will Assist Me?
Wood Ear (Auricularia auricula-judae) / Speaking (Up) – Be true to who you are and don’t hide that from the world.  Allow self expression to ring true and shine bright.  You are at your best when you are genuinely presenting yourself to the world, so bare your soul and show people what you’re made of by sharing your truth and your values with those around you.

A “Wild Card” For The Rest of the Year
Yartsa Gunbu (Ophiocordyceps sinensis) / Sexuality – Okay so this has been a bit of a “wild card” for you ever since the cancer.  Remember that it’s okay for your drive to go up and down, and Gideon is not going to blame you for having times when you just can’t kick your libido into gear.  Your sex drive is unpredictable.  It happens.  Enjoy it when it’s active, and allow yourself to rest and enjoy other things with him when it’s not.

My Theme Card For The Remainder of 2021
Black Truffle (Tuber melanosporum) / Self-Care – The remainder of 2021 will continue to focus on finding a balance in your life between self-care and your responsibilities, and learning how to put your self-care as a priority without allowing guilt to slide in and try to spoil the experience.

July – Nine of Roots (Accomplishment) – For the month of July, work on focusing on how much you’ve accomplished and in being grateful for all that you have. Now isn’t the time to push for more, but to live in the moment and appreciate all the good in your life.

August – Mother of Horns – It’s possible that August is going to be a bit of a struggle for you this year.  The urge to push forward and plow through time you should be resting in order to work instead will be strong.  Make sure you are focusing on taking care of yourself, as well as those around you.

September –  Two of Roots (Equilibrium) – The beginning of this month is the slowest time of year for your business, and the end of the month ramps up into the first preparations for the holiday season soon to come.  Direct your focus on making sure you are creating a good balance between work and home and your self care, so that as work responsibilities begin to build, you aren’t neglecting these other aspects of your life.

October – The Star – Preparation is the name of the game for October, with a hopeful eye on the months to come and the holiday rush just around the corner.  This month is filled with hope and anticipation. Make sure to keep that energy as well as the demands you put on yourself gentle, and balance your energy to give yourself the rest and care you need.

November – Five of Arrows (Defeat) – As the holiday season begins its rush within the beginnings of this month, it can be a difficult shift to move from a more rested and balanced way of life to the constant demands that the business requires at this part of the year.  As self care takes a back seat and balance goes out the window, by the end of the month you end up feeling as if you are already at the end of your rope.  Remember… by the end of November?  There’s only 3 weeks of holiday rush left to go.  You may feel run into the ground, but you can do this.

December – Daughter of Feathers – A second wind, or maybe just finding your groove, either way you’ll find that dragging ass feeling from the previous month lifts as you  move into December.  Focus on the future, focus on what you enjoy about your work, and your passion for what you do and what you love about what you do will carry you through the rest of the rush and allow you to find that breather at the end of the month that you need.

DECK USED:  MYKOLOGIA FUNGI THEMED ORACLE AND THE BRADY TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I acknowledged that I was feeling distracted and flighty, and agreed to pausing play with Gideon for some quiet together time in IMs instead of trying to push myself to continue playing.

Breaks Are Not Setbacks

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Today’s meditation was done submerged in the bathtub today.  Well, submerged all but my nose, mouth, and knees anyway.  It was another hot day and I took a cool bath and did my meditation in there during my hour of cool-down. There was no real focus other than on my breathing and the cooling, calming sensation of the water all around me.

Inner Child Cards Fairy Tale Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is the Nine of Crystals (Pentacles), which is traditionally a representation of personal satisfaction and satiation with one’s home life, abundance, and financial independence.  This is the well earned moment where you realize all you have worked toward and feel gratitude for that.  It is the last step of accomplishment before we begin to share our good fortune with those around us.

The thing is, in order for many to get to this point in their lives, they feel that they have work themselves to the bone and that they need to be on top of every little thing and in control 100% of the time.

The reminder in the combination of the Nine of Pentacles with the affirmation card for today is that your goals don’t require constant diligence and supervision. It’s okay to enjoy what you have in the now. Momentum will keep things moving forward, even while you take a break.

DECK USED:  INNER CHILD CARDS FAIRY TALE TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Where do I want to be 10, 15 or 20 years from now?

She Whispers Her Truth OracleAlthough I don’t really look so far ahead, I thought that this reading might be fun to help tell me what things I might likely be into doing or be of interest to me through these long term perspectives.

Ten Years From Now – Selfless – Whether I am committing more time to reading for others, or more time teaching and mentoring others, I can see this being something I’d be interested in exploring.  Ten years from now I will be forty-three and my mortgage should be fully paid off.  Without that weighty responsibility weighing on me, it’s possible I’d have a bit more free time to do these sort of things with.

Fifteen Years From Now – Investigate – Still interested in exploring new things and seeking out answers.  At forty-eight years old, it would be terrific to still be fostering a sense of excitement and curiosity at the mysteries before me. The possibility of new ideas, passions, and interests keeping things fresh and life interesting sounds good to me.

Twenty Years From Now – Awaken – A new journey… and new potential.  At fifty-three years old, the peacock indicates that even as I move into a different stage of life and deal with the issues that new stage will hold for me, I’ll be ready to stretch myself and seek new motivation to keep me going.  New goals could inspire new changes.

DECK USED:  SHE WHISPERS HER TRUTH ORACLE

#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: About similarities…
Question: How can I strengthen my awareness of the similarities between myself and others?

Inner Child Cards Fairy Tale TarotCinderella (The Moon) and Earth Child (The World)

These cards are calling me out on my uncertainty when interacting with others.  I don’t think that most people realize just how awkward I feel when interacting with others.  The Moon here is a reminder that I’m not the only one that feels that way.  Lots of people have social anxieties and uncertainties.  The World  then steps into this reminder to let me know that it’s okay to feel that newness and awkwardness, as it’s a part of the process of growth.

Ten of Crystals (Pentacles)

I have a lot to offer. I don’t always feel like it, but even though I might see myself as inconvenient, awkward, and a pain in the ass… others don’t.  They see someone that has accomplished a great deal and is happy to share what they’ve learned along the way with everyone else.

DECK USED:  INNER CHILD CARDS FAIRY TALE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Cool bath time again today.  I soaked in a nice cool bath for about an hour earlier today after I’d pulled the decks I’m putting into rotation next month (and put away all of this month’s other than the one’s I’m using tomorrow).

Try, and Try Again

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Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s an orders day and, honestly? It’s too fucking hot and miserable.

Hexen 2.0 Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is The Magician, which is traditionally a representation of having all the tools and skills needed to achieve your goals.  The card is about resourcefulness to manifest the results that you want and being inspired to carry things through to fruition.

Sometimes when we’re working towards a goal we can feel like we just don’t have everything together (or can’t manage to get it together) and the endeavor is therefore going to fail.

And the thing is?  No matter how prepared we are?  Sometimes that’s going to happen.

The key is to take that failure and remember that we’re still here.  We can still try again, and adjust our approach to give us a better chance of succeeding.

As long as we’re still here?  There’s always room for learning and improvement.  There’s always room to try again for the things you really want, and each failed try will only make the next effort that much better than the one before it.

DECK USED:  HEXEN 2.0 TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I improve upon my self care?

Wilderness Collide OracleReading Summary: Meditate (Crystal Visions atop Cosmic Journey). You are holding yourself back (Rising) in more ways than one (Expanse) by avoiding your meditation practice.

Take Away:  I often meditate with crystals, which is how “Crystal Visions” comes into play in the meditation aspect.  The thing is?  I don’t know why I keep avoiding my practice, but I’m self aware enough to know that no amount of excuses can conceal the fact that that’s exactly what I’m doing. 

The cards here are right, though.  I need to get back to it.  It’s beneficial on so many levels and avoiding it is holding me back not just in my health and well-being, but also in my growth.

DECK USED:  WILDERNESS COLLIDE ORACLE

#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: About differences…
Question: How can I resolve differences between myself and others with less anxiety?

Hexen 2.0 TarotReading Summary: Spend less energy worrying (Nine of Swords Rx) over if things might turn out badly (Three of Swords Rx), more authority and sharing of inspirational perspectives. Be passionate and innovative, and use that energy to inspire others to your way of thinking (King of Wands).

Take Away: So… this reading was about a little anxiety riddled character conversation the other day in the literary roleplay/writing realm that Gideon and I are in.  Sometimes, with some people, I feel like I’m walking on glass as I fulfill my leadership responsibilities.  It just goes that way, you know?  Things that should be a discussion feel like a confrontation and a direct challenge rather than having a chat.

So, yeah.   The advice here is to worry less about the whole “blowing up in your face” aspect of communication with these type of people, and instead turn the tables and draw them in with ideas and enthusiasm.

DECK USED:  HEXEN 2.0 TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a nap on orders day.  It was a combination of having a full stomach and the heat.  I just got so tired that I didn’t have a choice in the matter so I let myself lay down for a couple hours.

Owning Self Truths

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Today’s meditation was sort of done and sort of not?  I lounged in a cool bath for a bit early on in the day and did some breathing exercises while I was in there, but I also dozed off.  So… sort of meditation but not really?  Still, it was amazing and very relaxing.

Bonds Across Time: An Inuyasha Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of leadership and authority combined with a dominant energy and a “greater good” mentality. It is a card that represents responsibility, and the strength that it takes to shoulder the responsibility and ownership that comes with leading.

Sometimes, what we need to take ownership of isn’t others or leading others, but rather how we treat ourselves.  This is also a part of leadership, for without self awareness and control over ourselves, leading others never goes as smoothly or as well as it otherwise could.

Today’s affirmation card combined with the Emperor speaks of this responsibility toward ourselves. It’s a reminder that it’s not just others that need our kindness and understanding, but that we should treat ourselves with that same kindness.  Stress can make anyone short tempered, but don’t turn that negativity inward.  Instead, straighten your spine, look at what’s truly going on, own it, and then deal with it.

DECK USED:  BONDS ACROSS TIME INUYASHA TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: What inspires/heals me?

Whispers of the Ocean Oracle and Salt + Sea Energy OracleWhat inspires me?
Push to Surface, Pearl, Mermaid

Stagnancy is the cause of inspiration’s death.  To foster your inspiration and awaken it, sometimes you have to take stock of where in your life you are feeling still and stagnant, and look at these things with honest eyes.  Only the can you begin to change what’s holding you back and, in doing so, allow your inspiration to once more rise to the surface.

What heals me?
Sandcastle and Persistent Drive

Acknowledging that struggle and strive is only temporary and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel allows you to find focus on the way out instead of feeling stuck.  Like with depression, it’s when you accept that the depression is only temporary that you give yourself an exit to focus on and work towards.

DECK USED:  WHISPERS OF THE OCEAN ORACLE AND SALT + SEA ENERGY ORACLE

#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #2
Question: I always feel like I’m struggling, even when I’m trying to relax. How can I more easily let go and go with the flow in my self-care and growth?

Bonds Across Time: An Inuyasha TarotReading Summary: Ground and steady your footing (Four of Jewels) instead of running away (Six of Swords Rx), accept and acknowledge that transformation is painful and takes time (Ten of Swords).

Take Away: The message here in these cards indicates that I’m not doing anything wrong other than being impatient about moving forward.  It’s not like running on floats in the water, where you have to keep going or you’ll lose your balance and fall into the water.  Instead, you need to focus on finding a grounded and steady stance.  Allow the changes to move at their own pace and be patient.  Wait. Breathe.  And let the changes flow around you like water flows around a stone in a stream, slowly smoothing out rough edges over time while the stone is always steadily rooted in place.

DECK USED:  BONDS ACROSS TIME INUYASHA TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I mentioned this above, but I spent a good two hours soaking in a nice cool bath today.  Sort of like chillin’ in a kiddy pool… but in the tub.  It was nice.  I had rubber duckies and music, and it was very relaxing.

Mindfulness as a Tool

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Today’s meditation was skipped because I just wanted to lounge instead.  I did take time to relax under the ceiling fan and do my piriformis stretches, though.  I just didn’t do the meditation part of things.

Spiritsong Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is The Magician, which is traditionally a representation of resourcefulness and having all the tools needed to accomplish one’s goals.  He is, in essence, “the man with all the tools” like that neighbor you always go to to borrow tools from because he always has just the right tool for the job.

The Raven, as features in this card, is certainly one of those characters in nature that fits that “all the tools” category. They are extremely intelligent, can learn to mimic human speech and singing, and can recognize and remember the faces of humans.  They are efficient and clever, and uniquely qualified for their own survival.

In combination with the affirmation card for today, what I see in the message of today’s cards is that even when we have all the tools needed to forge ahead?  Sometimes what we need to do is stay in the present and savor what we already have. Life isn’t always about advancement and gain. A part of learning to enjoy life to it’s fullest and having all the tools at our disposal to do so includes knowing how to be in the moment and enjoy the present.

DECK USED:  SPIRITSONG TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Questions for June 26th and 27th

Spiritsong Tarot and Pure Magic OracleWhat is out of my control?
The Traveler and Closing Circle

Your path. Things move at their own pace. A healthy pace to take you where you need to be when you need to be there. Not everything on your path and where it leads is under your control. Sometimes you have to walk forward on blind faith that where you end up will be just where you need to be.

How can I cut through the noise and get to whats important?
Telekinesis and The Hanged Man

Be open but decisive. Listen to all perspectives, take them in one at a time, then cut loose what doesn’t work and see what’s left. You’re missing the cutting part of the equation, and without that part of the process, you just build up more and more to examine and sort through.  Get to the cutting already.

DECK USED:  PURE MAGIC ORACLE AND SPIRITSONG TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: About coziness…
Question: What can I do to make things more cozy and comfortable during this horrendous heat wave?

Spiritsong TarotPage of Acorns (Monkey) – Stick close to home and explore all the little things that can build up a bit at a time. Each fan you can find to turn on, the closing of the blinds and curtains. Adding the reflective insulation to the west windows.  Each small bit of adjustment made in the home will help a little more.

Ten of Crystals (Alligator) – Spend some time in the bathtub. A cool soak can do wonders and is something you’ve done in the past to cool down.  Yes, the lotion and scar treatments afterwards are a pain in the ass, but it’s still worth it.  Fill the bathtub up like a kiddy pool and just take a bit of a dip now and then. It will help you feel a great deal better just to splash around in there a bit.

The Star (Swan) – Remember that it’s temporary. The heat wave isn’t going to last forever. It’s just a few days and there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Be patient, be safe, and keep your eye on the relief that’s just around the corner.

DECK USED:  SPIRITSONG TAROT

CoffeexTarot’s Self Love For The Summer Prompt
Questions for June 26th and 27th

Flora Healing Oracle CardsWhat positive energy do I need to focus on?

Dianthus (Know Your Limits) – It’s important to make sure that you are setting safe and healthy boundaries and limits for yourself. The summer is supposed to be a time to catch your breath and rest.  Don’t allow yourself to get so overwhelmed that you’re not getting the rest that you need.

How can I better express my gratitude?

Sage (Cleanse) – Somehow, even with three of us in this house we just can’t seem to keep up on the cleaning.  I can’t really blame the girls, because I think they hate it just as much as I do. The thing is, though?  When the house is clean it just feels better.  So much better.  Maybe it’s time to start looking for a housekeeper again.  Life just feels so much better when the house is clean and dusted.

DECK USED:  FLORA HEALING ORACLE

Daily Self Kindness

I selfishly turned the AC to blow directly on me today.  It’s still hot enough that my skin is sticky and it just feels gross in here, but it would be so much worse without the AC.  Z and my sister have been taking turns chilling in the bedroom, which is a good deal cooler than the rest of the house.

Focus On The Present

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Today’s meditation was skipped (again) because today was my driving day, which means that after my shift at the farm I immediately hit the road to drive for about six hours.

Connolly Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation TarotToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of willpower and drive set to a purpose, action, and direction.  It’s about seizing control over one’s actions, fate, and destiny.

Today’s cards are calling me out.

The thing is?  I am constantly trying to look ahead, constantly planning, scheming, strategizing, and directing how I want things to go. This control is habitual and some of it has to do with fear of losing control and things going off the rails.  The presence of the Chariot here is a reference to those tendencies.

Combined with the affirmation card for today, the message here is that I need to stop spending so much time trying to control the future, when it’s the present that really matters.

DECK USED:  CONNOLLY TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

CoffeexTarot’s Self Love For The Summer Prompt
Question: What gives me clarity?

Secrets of the Mystic Grove OracleReading Summary: Being able to step outside my own perspectives and see things through the eyes of others (Seeing Differently), combined with my ability to ground myself through the earth and find comfort and peace in this process (Rhythms), allows me to see my fears and anxieties in a different light and give me a level of clarity and calm concerning things I would otherwise be blind to (Trust).

Take Away:  Sometimes fears make it impossible for us to see anything besides what we fear the most.  Anxiety narrows our focus and forces us into tunnel vision on those things that trigger us.  These cards indicate that during these times, I have the added benefit of being able to connect with the earth for calm and step out of myself to find perspective, and in doing so, I am able to find more clarity than I would be able to otherwise.

DECK USED:  SECRETS OF THE MYSTIC GROVE ORACLE

#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: About dreams…
Question: how can I get a more restful sleep with less dreams getting in the way of that?

Connolly TarotReading Summary: If you didn’t worry so much and struggle so much (Five of Pentacles) with the new changes taking place (Ace of Cups), then you wouldn’t have so many dreams that involve imbalance and unresolved endings (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away: It’s the balance being askew and a lack of resolution in my dreams that makes me feel so unrested when I wake up. Issues with scarcity, combined with my worries over staying on this new path of self love and emotional growth, are spurring on the dreams in which I’m never quite able to find balance or resolution.

DECK USED:  CONNOLLY TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I had a really nice evening with Gideon, both sharing my haul from the post office as well as in beginning a bit of a date night in play.