self help with tarot cards

What Are You Building On?

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IMG_8195Today’s meditation was just under thirteen minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for piriformis stretches.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about the Danish/Norwegian concept of Hygge, which essentially is a word that indicates a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment… In both Danish and Norwegian, hygge refers to “a form of everyday togetherness”, “a pleasant and highly valued everyday experience of safety, equality, personal wholeness and a spontaneous social flow”. (Thank you Wikipedia)

The meditation went over how important this concept is to our well-being and how meditation helps in finding a way to slow down and sink into the hygge concept more easily with less resistance to those moments when we can find ourselves enjoying the moment and the world around us without the strain and stress pounding on our mental or physical doors.

Faeles Arcanae - Nine of CupsToday’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a sense of contentment and satisfaction.  This isn’t about the work or what has been earned, but rather about the feelings involved with those things.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery for this card is that the cat is sitting on a rug that looks like it’s either a representation of the sun or a sunflower.  Either way, the meaning there is very similar in that there is a radiant warmth and joy in the foundation of those feelings of contentment and satisfaction.

The message here today is about staying focused on the stuff that makes you happy, rather than allowing things that don’t to tug at your attention.  Everyone, even those most fortunate, have things in life that make them unhappy, but instead of focusing on them… make sure you are building your good feelings on a foundation of positivity rather than a bedrock of quicksand.

DECK USED:  FAELES ARCANAE TAROT

LionHart’s 20/21 Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: What should I keep in mind in preparation for 2021?

Heaven & Earth Tarot

Reading Summary: Good and healthy decisions (The Lovers) will require seeking out a new outlook, thought patterns, and methods (Ace of Swords) in order to ensure victory (Six of Wands).

Take Away:  It’s time to set behind me the old habits and work-a-holic attitudes of my past now that the holiday rush is over, and re-focus on the new goals and perspectives I was fostering throughout most of the last year.  Self care and finding a healthy balance between my own needs and my work, as well as exploring that emotional growth and fostering it to continue, now need to come back into focus as I move forward into 2021.  Don’t allow the bad habits and slippage the holiday rush caused to carry forward into the new year.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better connect with my intuition and decrease self-doubt?

Broken Isn't Bad TarotReading Summary: Kill (Ten of Swords) the bitch in your head (Queen of Swords Rx) that makes you so unhappy (Three of Swords)… and look forward into making healthy choices for yourself instead (The Lovers).

Take Away: When you are tortured by those negative voices and being pulled down into the quicksand of depression and bad decisions, your intuition’s voice becomes more faint and your confidence tanks. 

In order to keep yourself on top of that mound of quicksand, you need to make healthy choices and not listen to that inner voice that likes to rise up when you’re feeling down or vulnerable. Finding ways to “kill the bitch” in your head or otherwise weaken that voice until it has much less power will assist you in moving forward in more healthy ways.

DECK USED:  BROKEN ISN’T BAD TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Extreme Points

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Winter Solstice is approaching– only a couple weeks to go! This week, we begin looking toward one of the two most extreme points of the year– the longest night– and the upcoming return of the sun. ”

Christmas Playing Cards by US GamesIn the current absence of the sun, what is something in your life that may be approaching its most extreme point?
Eight of Hearts

The need to run away from the chaos and find a balanced  and safe place of refuge.  As the Solstice approaches, I find myself more and more ready for the end of the holiday rush to arrive.

How is this affecting you emotionally right now?
Seven of Hearts

I’m scattered and struggling, confused and having a hard time. There’s so much to do and so much going on, and I’m feeling overwhelmed.  The more overwhelmed I get, the more eager I am for the approach of that change to come.

How is this affecting you physically right now?
Three of Diamonds

I’m needing help from others to keep myself physically healthy right now. It’s hard to remember to eat, and it’s hard to stay on track with even the normal things like getting in regular showers, let alone other self-care things, exercise, and time outside for fresh air.   There’s just so little time.  Those that live with me help with the work, and they help with keeping me on track in other ways to keep me healthy and well.

How is this affecting you mentally right now?
Seven of Spades

I feel like any time I spend even a few minutes away from keeping up with my work and the holiday rush, I’m stealing that time from what really needs to be done. Stealing something I can’t afford and is undeserved.  I know that isn’t true, but that is the guilt that whispers through my mind whenever my hands aren’t filled with wire and pliers, or other things that need to be done.

How is this affecting you spiritually right now?
Six of Diamonds

I’m regressing into old (and unhealthy) habits.   The longer the holiday rush goes on, the more I am regressing.  I understand that I will be better able to return to my healthier new habits more easily this time, having done it before in the past… but at the same time?  I am aware that I’m regressing and feel helpless to keep it from happening in the moment.

DECK USED: CHRISTMAS PLAYING CARDS BY US GAMES

Don’t Get Up Just Yet

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Today’s meditation was supposed to be ten minutes long, but I dozed off and slept through it (and another 30 minutes on top of that).  I’ve got the stomach flu and I think my body just said that sleep was more important.  I’ll try again at the end of the day when I lie down to go to bed.  Then if I fall asleep on accident it’ll be okay.

Broken Isn't Bad Tarot - Ten of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ten of Swords, which is traditionally about painful endings and finding yourself at the end of a difficult journey with lots of struggle and strife.  It can also be a representation of loss, betrayal, or coming out at the end of something feeling crippled in some way.

Honestly? This is such an appropriate card, considering how I’m feeling today. I woke up with an upset stomach and severely painful back today, and even after an Imodium, followed later on after the Imodium started working by dry toast and an ibuprofen?  I have still felt really rough throughout the day and it was extremely hard to focus on work.

The message in today’s card is in her position upon the ground, as she looks more in repose than as if she’s been struck down.  Today’s card is a reminder to take care of myself and allow myself the rest I need to feel better.

You will be happy to know that I did give myself some rest this morning while waiting for the Imodium to work.  I laid down on the bed and had a tel-appointment with my shrink (that I almost forgot that I had today) and I’ve been careful to make sure I eat enough (of only very gentle foods) to keep my blood sugars level even during the worst of the stomach upset.

DECK USED:  BROKEN ISN’T BAD TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Should people care more about doing the right thing, or doing things right?

Lost Hollow TarotReading Summary: Note the Four of Pentacles on its side.

The Adjustment card with the Eight of Wands indicates that one should go swiftly towards doing the right thing.  Adjustment/Justice is about cause and effect and “the law” (whether that be the laws of nature or the laws of man).  The Eight of Wands is about swift action.   These cards indicate that it is important to not just do the right thing, but to do so without hesitation.

The Four of Pentacles on its side is what blocks us from this swift action of doing the right thing.  The concept of “doing things right” is a concept of control.  It’s not about the rule of law (natural or otherwise) but about subjective opinion and control over one’s environment and how things are done.  This is not dominant but rather on its side… a blockage.  A problem.

Take Away:  These cards clearly state that people should care more about doing the right thing than they should about “doing things right”.   It is our ego that gets in the way from doing the right thing… and our ego that makes us focus on “doing things right”. 

DECK USED:  LOST HOLLOW TAROT

Finding Motivation thru Inspiration

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IMG_8067Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations (from the Calm app, which is where I get the little graphics pertaining to those guided meditations btw) combined with an interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about dealing with our personal inner dialogues and the habit of cruelty and lack of understanding that we direct inward towards ourselves rather than treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we give to others.

This is something that I personally struggle with, and I have been making a concerted effort this year to be kinder to myself and use positivity and optimism to help lift my inner dialogue out of the cruel and savage and into a gentler space.  That said, it is still a struggle after all this time, and I know that part of that is my struggle to let go of the past… and the voices of my past.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Queen of WandsToday’s draw is is the Queen of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s enthusiasm and drive, passions, willpower, determination, and inner spark.

I really like this deck… a lot.  The imagery is just so… f’ing gorgeous. Every card.  Even with the Jesus looking guy as the Magician card. (It very well may be a depiction of Jesus, as I haven’t read the guide book for this deck yet. Even if not? It sure as hell looks like the classic depictions of Jesus.)

Okay, so my fascination with the artwork aside, what really stood out to me today in this card was the flames at the queen’s feet, and the spread wings above her throne.

To me the flames feel like that fire within that figuratively “lights a fire under your ass” to get you moving. In the Queen, this translates to me as someone or something that lights that fire and encourages its burn.  The wings further this impression for me, as they speak about giving lift.  Encouragement.  Providing what is needed to inspire.  That energy, personality, or person being the “wind beneath” those wings, so to speak.

The message here is about inspiration.  it’s about finding inspiration and fostering it within that inner spark, feeding the fire and using it to keep moving forward.  Find strength and determination and willpower within the fanning of the flames, and use theses qualities to keep going despite the roadblocks and hurdles.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Draw a random card and use it to describe a quality about yourself that you love.

Hans Zatzka Dreamland Tarot - StrengthStrength – Deep within me beneath the layers of defense and determination. vulnerability and deflection… there is a core of strength.  This strength is what has allowed me to survive so much and continue on, to allow myself to be open and receptive to others even through the pain of what has happened in my past.  The  assaults, the cancer, the rape, the accidents, the abuse, and the betrayals.  All of it could have closed me down, closed me off, made me bitter, made me hard and hateful.  They could have broken me and made me a victim… or in many cases, could have (or almost did) kill me.

And yet I survive.  I am not a victim.  I am not broken.  I am not bitter or hateful. I choose to not allow these things from my past to destroy the person that I am, the person I want to be, and the person I wish to become.

Side note:  This deck’s cardstock is horrendous. It’s essentially unsealed textured printer paper with inkjet printing. I have plans to reproduce this deck for my own use at some point, with better cardstock (and no typos).

DECK USED:  HANS ZATZKA DREAMLAND TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – A New Month

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This month I want us to focus on our goals. I thought this would be a great tarot spread for the rest of this month :)”

Tarot of Light and ShadowYou at the beginning of this month.
Ace of Serpents atop Eight of Cups

At the beginning of this month you were preparing for the holiday rush and all of the bounty that I was hoping would drop into my lap with extra orders rolling in.  Because of the pandemic, I was uncertain (water in the Ace of Serpents) that I would manage to draw in the orders and income that needs to come in at this time of year to make sure that the rest of the year runs smoothly.  At the beginning of the month I had become to realize that abundance is smiling upon me and diving headlong into the alternate reality that the holiday rush holds me within for six weeks or so out of each year.

Three defining events of this month.

Ten of Wands – Overwhelm and potential burn out.  This is the result of that six month race of too many orders and too little time.  It is inevitable, but can be mitigated a bit to ease its effects by trying to fit in some self care.

Judgement Rx – Am I doing well enough?  Is it going to be enough? Am I going to be enough? Am I doing enough? This time of year is filled with these worries and doubts. There is no way to tell while in the middle of the fray, but these worries drive me forward to work harder and harder, push more and more.

Two of Serpents Rx – There is no balance.  None. It’s something that is struggled with even when things are quiet and smoothly running.  But now is not a time of quiet and smooth, but chaotic and overwhelming.  There is no balance, just as there is no balance every year for these six weeks.  All you can do is do your best to keep moving forward, and eventually restore that balance once the rush is over.

Three defining characteristics of this month.

Six of Swords – A constant focus on the fact that this won’t last forever.  A constant focus on moving forward and riding the wave. A consistently repeated reminder over and over again that this stress and strain and overwhelm is not forever… just for this moment, and that it will soon be over.

The Wheel – There is a lot of uncertainty that comes with the month of December, and a lot of ups and downs because of that uncertainty. In this case, though… things are looking good and the upswing is a beautiful thing.  Needed.  Sooner or later what comes up must always come down tho, so watch out for the downswing that will eventually show up.  Probably next month.

Ace of Wands – The holiday rush is very literally the “seed” of my passion and drive. The business is my drive, my intent, my focus, my goal, and the white hot spark of my ambition.  The holiday rush funds necessary aspects of this endeavor, giving my goals and drive the funds needed to continue forward into the next year.

You at the end of this month.
Ten of Cups

Contentment and relief at having made it to the end.  Pleasure and a breath of fresh air for my emotions now that I can bring them back to the surface once again.  A chance to enjoy the good stuff in life again, including all those things that make me happy and connect again with Gideon and my loved ones. And a bit of an opportunity for some rest (the cup tipped on its side).

DECK USED: TAROT OF LIGHT AND SHADOW (LIGHT CARDS ONLY)

Get Moving

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IMG_8057Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

The topic of the guided part of the meditation was about the benefits of meditating, especially when life has become chaotic and hectic.  How using meditation during these times can help in establishing a quiet calm within the chaos that swirls around you.

This is the reason I am trying especially hard during this month to make sure that I do not skip my meditations.  I might have to skip a good number of my self care practices during this month… but not that one.  Not when the world is in chaos due do the holiday rush.  It’s during this time of year that I need my meditation the most.

Neo Tarot Shadow Edition - Eight of WandsToday’s draw is the Eight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of fast paced, action oriented energy.  It can also represent alignment and fast moving changes.

I honestly don’t have anything that stood out to me in this card today, and the reason for this is that when the card hit the table, I immediately heard words in my mind.   This type of response to the card happens now and then, and is like a whisper in the ear that is coming from the area of my ear but behind the eardrum instead of from an external source.

What this card said today is “move your ass”.   This was very appropriate considering that I had far more to get done today than I had hours in the day, and even while rushing full speed from hour to hour, I didn’t manage to get everything done until after 4:30am.

DECK USED:  NEO TAROT SHADOW EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where should I direct my focus this week to be more understanding?

The Keymaster TarotReading Summary: Avoid focusing on your disappointments (Three of Clubs Rx) and instead lean into (Eight of Hearts) how you are feeling about (Jack of Hearts) the surprise attack of fortune (Jack of Diamonds Rx).    Note how the Jack of Hearts and the Jack of Diamonds are facing each other, playing off of each other.

Take Away: I was not expecting the holiday rush to be quite so hectic this year.  With the pandemic and all of the struggles associated with it (economic, etc), I figured it would be slow.  I made a few adjustments in how I was advertising due to that and, as a result, have been remarkably blessed with a massively busy holiday rush as a result.   I really need the money and I’m very grateful for every single sale… but it means I am pushing myself extremely hard at the moment. Part of that process is ignoring my own weaknesses and circumventing others, and treating myself with a great lack of understanding, as well as closing off and not being quite as tolerant of irritations as a result.

In order for me to foster understanding for both myself and others, I need to make sure that I’m practicing gratitude in my thoughts and inner dialogue.  Instead of allowing myself to deal on how my hands and forearm hurt, how I’m not getting enough sleep, how the stress and rush has my anxiety riding high in my chest (and causing acid reflux whenever I lie down), etc… I need to make sure I’m focusing on the positive aspects and the good that all of this is going to do for me and allow these things to be uplifting.

DECK USED:  KEYMASTER TAROT