#MysticStarChallenge

Being Nice and Trying Again… and Again

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

startagainToday’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long and was self guided with a focus upon self forgiveness and letting go of the pressure and stress that I put upon myself to always do more and berate myself when I take a break.    I felt that it was a really good topic for today, being that today is self-care Saturday and all.

I think that it’s important for me to remember that not only is it okay to take rests, but it’s okay to have an “off” day now and then, and that tomorrow is a new day and I can “try again”.  The only person judging me is me, and I’m allowed to forgive myself when things just don’t go according to plan now and then.

Like so many lessons to do with self care and self forgiveness, knowing the concept and saying the words is so much easier than actually putting them into action.  I figure that maybe if I remind myself enough, it will begin to sink in at some point.

Maruco Animal Tarot - Five of WandsToday’s draw is the Five of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, and conflict concerning one’s passions, ambitions, and drive.

Speaking of beating up on yourself.  This card was actually the inspiration for the topic of today’s meditation.

For me, the biggest conflict I face on a day to day basis is inner conflict.  Specifically conflict concerning how much I’m getting done and how much I have to do… and berating myself for not getting more done considering how much I have to do.

This card’s appearance today was a reminder of that inner conflict, which is so very often centered around my passion projects, entrepreneurial spark, and drive to succeed at my business and my goals.

The message here isn’t in the conflict of the card… but in the imagery of those sweet little bunnies turned rabid.  It is a reminder to not allow myself to be such a vicious dick to myself.  It wouldn’t be okay to treat others that way, and so I shouldn’t be treating myself that way either.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What amazing thing about myself do I often fail to recognize?

Fairy Tarot by Virtue and Valentine

Reading Summary:  My resourcefulness (The Magician) to find a better way (Six of Winter) and bring people together (Hierophant/Unity) and inspire them to do the same (The Fool).

Just sayin’?  But although I haven’t found the time to do it yet…. this deck is definitely soon to be on the chopping block for a trim.

Take Away:  You would think that I wouldn’t have such a hard time with change since I’m somewhat skilled at turning situations around to come out the better for it… and yet I am always a bit trepidatious when it comes to change.   That said… what the cards indicate here is that this ability is actually something that is amazing about me, and something that inspires others to explore change with a lighter heart and more hopeful outlook than they otherwise would.

DECK USED:  FAIRY TAROT BY VIRTUE AND VALENTINE

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I add more fun into my life?

Sun and Moon TarotReading Summary: Find the passion inside you to fight for it (Five of Wands) and not allow obstacles to hold you back (Six of Wands) because this is a gift to yourself that can help restore balance (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away:  If I really want to add more fun into my life, I will need to fight for it. This means fighting to find the time, fighting to see true value in that time, and fight against my own inner tendency to not allow myself that time.  The cards also indicate that it’s important that to assist myself in this fight, I need to keep in mind the benefits that the added fun can have in my life, and use those benefits and the balance it can create, to inspire and motivate me to make the effort.

DECK USED:  SUN AND MOON TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What does the month ahead hold for me?

Mermaid Tarot by Robertson

Reading Summary:  Carefree (Judgement Rx) and well balanced (Temperance) while enjoying new emotions (Ace of Cups).

There is also a connection between the Judgement card and the Ace of Cups card through the colors associated in both cards which speaks to me about allowance.  Allowing yourself to delve in and allowing yourself to explore without the fear of repercussions that may come.

There is also a flow of motion connection between all three cards where in each card the flow moves from left to right and strengthens in its progression from one card to the next.  This flow speaks to me of the Judgement card and the Temperance card both building up support for the Ace of Cups (emotional exploration).

Take Away:   There has been a lot of overwhelm and issues over the past few months since I first discovered that new level of emotional growth back at the end of last summer.  The cards here indicate that I am at a place this month and ready to delve into that new growth. Not with fear or discomfort, but with an openness and carefree acceptance that will allow me to stay balanced and keep the experience positive.

DECK USED:  MERMAID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  When do I feel most loved?

Dixit Deck v.2 QuestIntuitive Interpretation: While the world falls apart outside the sheltering structure (broken musical notes on the ground) the guy in the window remains securely inside and a knight protects him from the monster crawling out of the deep dark hole.

It’s not possible to hide behind what makes me feel safe forever, but it’s nice and very special when that option is there when I need it.

The anchor’s significance is twofold.  First it signifies the steadying rock of your presence in my life.  Second is its significance within our D/s, as you are the anchor in my drown.  Just as I liken subspace to peacefully floating in water, suspended beneath the surface… you are the anchor that holds me under and keeps me safe from floating away on random currents.

Take Away:  When do I feel most loved?  When I feel safe and secure, protected and cared for.  Sheltered and… most especially?  In the middle of my drown when you’re there holding me under and creating that experience for me that is something only you are able to create.

DECK USED:  DIXIT DECK V.2 QUEST

Passionate Pursuits

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was non-existent because for my birthday I decided I wanted to sleep in and I slept in… way later than I expected to.   I must have really needed to catch up on sleep though, because it was not just nice…. it was absolute bliss.   As was the nap taken later in the day today. I might end up trying to meditate before I go to bed tonight, though.  The day’s not completely over yet after all.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Page of WandsToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, and passion projects.  This usually translates into themes that have to do with learning a new skill or getting a new spark of enthusiasm or inspiration that needs a bit of time and openness to explore.

In the imagery of this card there are a few different aspects that really stand out to me.  One is the waxing crescent moon at the top of the card, which speaks to me of new beginnings.  The tarot is cyclical.  You start off at the ace and advance to the ten, but then at the page you are cycling back to a different type of ace.   The page is essentially once again the ace from before, but changed to advance to a new beginning at a higher level.

By that same turn, the coloring of the leaves from the bottom of the card to the top represents growth to me.  As a mulberry tree grows, like many plants, the lower leaves drop away to give strength and energy to the upper leaves to stretch higher and reach further.

The imagery of this card speaks to me about attainment through growth. You can get what you want, you can attain those things you seek and are passionate about.  But it requires time and growth.  Nothing worth getting drops immediate and whole into your hands, especially those things of value that you want most.  Instant gratification is not growth, so set aside your impatience and reach for your dreams with the knowledge that the work (and the wait) will be worth it.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I benefit from adding more fun and play into my life?

Mystic Faerie TarotReading Summary: More opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) and less juggling (Two of Pentacles) while creating that sense of control (King of Swords) that I crave.

Take Away:  By introducing more fun and play into my life, it will allow me to open up to new opportunities to explore concerning  the development of resources that will allow me to juggle less and feel more in control of my fate.

This sounds counter-intuitive to me due to that whole “workaholic” side of my nature, but it also makes a lot of sense as well. This is because my main venue of making money and thus building my resources is through a creative source, this makes a lot of sense.  It speaks to the fact that creativity in and of itself is a kind of play.  And thus by allowing more play into my life, I am growing the skills I use to put food on the table (among other things).

By developing these skills through fun and play, I essentially “level up” in my abilities to bring in those resources and thus have to juggle less part time jobs and less responsibilities associated with those jobs in order to accomplish everything I want to accomplish.  This, in turn, gives me a more stable sense of control.

DECK USED:  MYSTIC FAERIE TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What is my card of the month?

Mystical Manga Tarot - Seven of WandsInterpretation:  This month’s card is the Seven of Wands.   The message in this card is that you have a choice in how you interact with the world.   You can view the world as your enemy always out to get you, taking a pessimistic view and using that view to put you in a constant place of defense and protection.   Or you can view the world as an adventure and you as the hero.

The first view leads to exhaustion and burnout.   The latter?  Creates a spark of life and fun that can then carry you forward and keep you alert and prepared, as well as light on your feet when challenges arrive.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL MANGA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does love mean to me?

Herbal Tarot

Reading Summary: Making the choice that speaks to your heart (The Lovers) and allow the harder parts of your insides to soften towards another (Parsley). Having the patience you otherwise wouldn’t (Temperance) and cleansing away the poison of intolerance as you accept the importance of the other person holds for you (Echinacea). Allowing someone in deep enough that you are vulnerable to being hurt (Three of Swords) and fostering a trust that will purge past hurts from your expectation of the present relationship (Pleurisy Root).

Take Away:  Love is about being vulnerable and letting go of the past so that it doesn’t influence the present.  It’s about listening to your heart instead of your emotions and finding that match that fits with you like a piece of a puzzle where your flaws are their strengths, and vice versa.   It’s about listening and healing and belonging.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT