Maruco Animal Tarot

Finding Joy

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_4372Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I did a few minutes of deep breathing pranayama followed by a quiet, centered meditative state where I considered the question in this graphic that I came across in my feed on Instagram.

The question really struck a cord with me when I saw it, it really resonated and I feel like it needs more attention than just a passing thought.

There are a couple things that really came to mind for me when I thought over this question.   The first is… the sleep. Pre-pandemic, I was averaging about 3 hours of sleep at night, and then another 2-3 hours in the afternoon.   I have been sustaining this schedule (not without a bit of struggle) for…. ten… maybe fifteen years now.   The pandemic and loss of employment it caused opened up a number of hours to me that I would normally be working.  Hours that I filled (predominantly) with sleep.

It has been fucking glorious.  And, although I know when things get back to normal I will need to take those hours of sleep away and put them back to working?  I wish I could keep them. Just sayin’.

Second is the time I have been able to commit to my emotional growth and development.  This isn’t so much about extra time as it is about the ability to remain open for an extended periods without the need to protect myself or guard myself.   Because I am sensitive to energy, I (apparently, although I didn’t realize this until recently) usually run around in the world with a certain amount of energetic/mental/spiritual shielding in place.

During this time when I have been forced to let go of so much and remain away from most people more than usual, I’ve found that I’ve been able to ease those shields down a bit and this has had an interesting side effect of giving my emotions and inner self some “breathing room” much like someone taking off a body suit to run around nekkid instead gives the body/skin breathing room.

Maruco Animal Tarot - The ChariotToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally interpreted as… well essentially it is the epitome of the Wands suit of the tarot, all rolled up into one and then spread out like peanut butter on toast throughout all of the different aspects of life.  This theme is one of control, willpower, and drive.  It’s about taking those horses by the reigns and pointing them toward the triumph you desire, and plowing forward with determination.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the expression of pure joy on the squirrel’s face as he drives the chariot forward.

The message here in today’s card is about enjoying what you do and not allowing yourself to fall into a mindset of seeing those things you do as a chore and an obligation rather than as a joy.

I struggle with this sometimes, especially when I am feeling overwhelmed.  I start to see the things that I usually take such pleasure and passion in as pain in the ass chores.  I have the blessing of being able to do something I truly love with my life, and being able to express the massive does of creativity I’ve been blessed with in a myriad of ways.  Today’s card is a reminder to take that creativity and enjoy it as I go about the day to day activities of my life.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What aspect of myself am I keeping hidden that needs attention?

Mucha Tarot

Reading Summary: This spread is referring to my COTD message above. It has to do with limiting my  perspective (Hanged Man Rx) concerning my work (Eight of Pentacles) and ending up disappointed with the process as a result (Three of Swords).

Take Away:  The aspect of myself that is being kept hidden is the fact that I’m not allowing myself enough joy in my creative process to keep that spark of joy and interest alive in my work.   I need to work on focusing on the enjoyment of the process of creation and how good I feel in sending out my creations into the world to bring pleasure to others.   I’ve lost track of that a bit lately.

DECK USED:  TAROT MUCHA

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What secret do I need to let go of and set free?

The Fountain TarotReading Summary: This reading is also about that hidden discontent (Ten of Pentacles Rx) I’ve been feeling lately (mentioned in today’s COTD) concerning the menial and repetitive tasks of my work (Eight of Coins Rx).  The Empress speaks of a need to allow her kindness and nurturing to flow out from her (the green behind her and at her feet) and into these aspects where discontent has flourished (the green in the other two cards).

Take Away:  Instead of hiding how I’ve been feeling about my work concerning my home business, I need to let it out and treat it with kindness and understanding.  Consider how the items I create and send out into the world influences the lives of others, and allow that pleasure I give them to re-kindle my own joy in the process.

DECK USED:  THE FOUNTAIN TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What can I do to better cope with this time away from my ‘normal life’?

The Muse Tarot

Reading Summary:  It is a good time to work at bridging the gap (Muse of Materials) between the spark of ideas (Ace of Voices) and my intuition (The Priestess).

Take Away:  So often, the mind and intuition are at odds with each other.  Intuition whispers quietly, just barely able to be heard most of the time… while the mind shouts loudly and tries to run over everything with its voice.  

Spending time focusing on bridging that gap and allowing intuition to have its way (tip of the moon piercing the priestess’ palm… which bleeds light) will allow me to find a better balance and allow me to use my intuition and depths of inner knowledge to calm my brain down and keep it from overwhelming everything.

DECK USED:  THE MUSE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When I remain silent, what is blocking me from asking my partner for what I need?

Mythical Creatures Tarot by BabaStudios

Reading Summary:  The idea that if I let my freak flag fly (Hierophant Rx) that he will turn and walk away (Eight of Cups) and my bleeding heart will be my own doing (Justice).

Take Away:  This reading is referring to having hidden from you for so long just how much tarot and my spirituality was a part of my life.   It is about the fear I felt about losing you due to a lack of conventionality.   When I am silent, this is often the fear that holds me back.  That fear of you walking away and it being all my fault that it happened…. all my fault that my heart is bloody pulp on the floor.   Somehow, the fact that I am the one that destroys everything… just makes it all that much worse. 

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL CREATURE TAROT BY BABASTUDIOS

 

Sink or Swim

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was skipped in favor of getting my ass going on orders.  Yes, I know that is a horrible excuse and yet… I’m not going to cover it up.  I made the decision to skip today in order to dive into work and get things done.

Maruco Animal Tarot - The TowerToday’s draw is The Tower card of the Major Arcana (again), which is a representation of sudden and chaotic change.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the two bunnies.  Unlike in most Tower cards where the figures look like they are being thrown from the tower by the force of the blast, these bunnies look to me like they are fleeing.   This speaks to me of the reality that sometimes?  When your boat is sinking it’s time to jump in the water and pray for the best.

It’s not really in my nature to bail on a struggle, but I do understand that sometimes?  Just have to do so.   Especially when you don’t like what’s happening and have no control over the chaos or the outcome.

I feel like this has to do with my expectations. Specifically those to do with humanity’s intelligence as a whole.  Not that I can bail on humanity, but it might be time to bail on the expectation that intelligence is an inherent part of humanity.  At least… that’s what it feels like lately whenever I watch the news.

Or maybe the real message here is to bail on paying so much attention to the news, because every damn time I do?  I become more disappointed in the intelligence level of society and humanity as a whole.   I understand there are small pockets of real thinkers… but jesus… it just seems like there are so many more idiots out there than people using their brains.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What makes me feel more connected or aligned with Self?

Sun and Moon Tarot

Reading Summary: When my plate is full (Ten of Wands) and I am feeling clear headed and in charge (King of Swords) with a sense of inspiration and adventure blowing wind into my sails (Princess of Swords).

Take Away:  It’s only when I am feeling the fog of confusion, fear, or struggling with emotions that carrying a full plate of responsibilities becomes a struggle for me.   When I feel most “myself”, it is when my mind is clear and I’m invigorated with lots to do and a sense of productivity at  play.

DECK USED:  SUN AND MOON TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon my self-care at this time?

The Muse TarotReading Summary: Lean your expertise (Eight of Materials) into ideas that inspire you (Ace of Inspiration). Your progress and stability (Imagery in the Muse of Materials) will continue for a while without you in the saddle (Knight of Materials).

Take Away:  The cards here are encouraging me to delve into my new ideas and inspiration instead of focusing so tightly on my financial stability and progress.  It’s okay to take some time away from these stresses that I spend so much of my time and energy focusing on.  It’s okay to delve into other passions and ideas for a bit.  Nothing is going to topple off kilter if you do this for a short time (and perhaps begin to incorporate it into my life in some way to carry it forward in the future as well).

DECK USED:  THE MUSE TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: How can I overcome my fear of change?

Mystic Faerie Tarot

Reading Summary: Hope for something better to come (The Star) while taking action to defend (Eight of Wands) what I hold most dear (Three of Pentacles) with all the tools in my arsenal (The Magician).

Take Away:  When change comes around, whether it’s gradual and builds up over time or comes out of the blue with chaos and a cacophony of stress, I have a habit of going immediately to a pessimistic view and start catastrophizing.  I think this is pretty normal for a lot of people, but it isn’t productive and only indulges my fears.

The cards here indicate that if I want to overcome these fears, a better option is to consciously reach for a more optimistic view of what the changes might result in while making sure those things that are important to me stay whole and cared for along the way.

DECK USED:  MYSTIC FAERIE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How am I different in my romantic relationship than I am with others?

Tarot Mucha

Reading Summary: Vulnerable (Five of Pentacles) and uncertain (Nine of Cups Rx) and more open to allowing my emotions to overflow (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  In my romantic relationship, I allow far more vulnerability to rise to the surface and be shared with you than I would ever allow others outside of that intimate relationship to see.  I share with you my uncertainties and fears, my worries and self doubts.   I share with you all of these things, and I share with you my emotions, which is something I very rarely share with others in any true depth.  With you, though, I allow those emotions to spill over within the safety and security of the knowledge that you want them… need them… and will love me no matter how intense or disorganized or messy that emotional part of me may be.

DECK USED:  TAROT MUCHA

Reassessment of The Familiar

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was once again interrupted.  This time by my mother in need of technical support for both her computer, printer, and her iPad.  I managed to help her with two out of the three, so she was able to use the iPad to print what she needed.   But, I was unable to help her with the computer and she’s going to need someone to take it in for repair.  I think she needs a boot disk, and I am absolutely certain she doesn’t have one.

So… I will be including a meditation into my bedtime routine again tonight.

Maruco Animal Tarot - Page of WandsToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which traditionally is a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the areas of one’s drive, ambitions, passions, and innovations.  This often displays itself in themes involving inspiration, renewed enthusiasm, and an exponential potential for growth.

What stands out to me today in this card is the “posture of discovery” that the rabbit is portraying in relation to the wand in his hands… and the little rabbit head at the top of the staff that, to me, indicates a sense of familiarity and communion.  It also feels significant that the bunny is barefoot, as it conveys a certain amount of vulnerability.

The message in today’s card is that it would be a good idea to take a look at the every day and the familiar in my life.  These things can be taken for granted, but can in truth also be great motivators and refresh the spark of inspiration when given a chance.  The vulnerability aspect has to do with being open to that inspiration, instead of “keeping your head down” and trudging onward because that is often what feels safest.

I relate really strongly to this message today, as I spent a great deal of my day on the farm helping them restructure their planting and harvest plans for this year to adjust to the diminished demand for perishables due to the extremely diminished demand from the restaurant industry combined with  people’s reaction to the pandemic spurring their desire to stock up on non-perishables rather than purchasing fresh produce at the same rate as in previous years.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What fulfills me?

Tarot Mucha

Reading Summary: Whether my intuition is full on (High Priestess) or is being blocked by emotions or other issues (Page of Cups Rx), I am fulfilled by my efforts to help others (The Hierophant) to be proactive in moving forward upon their own path (Temperance Rx).

Take Away:  One of the things that greatly fulfills me is helping others find their path and move forward upon it.   Their paths are very rarely the same as my path, but that really doesn’t matter.  It’s about helping them find what works for them, which is something that I feel capable of doing even when my intuition is blocked… but most especially when it’s not.

DECK USED:  TAROT MUCHA

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon the person I am now?

TaRat Rat TarotReading Summary:  Don’t allow the lack of alone time (The Hermit) to steal away (Seven of Swords) my commitment (Page of Cups) and enthusiasm for leaning into (Queen of Wands) the emotional growth I’m currently experiencing (Previous Reading).

The Queen of Wands and the Page of Cups hearkens back to a reading I did for myself with this same deck on May 5th, where jumpers gave me the exact same cards which landed in the exact same positions on the board when first pulled as they did today.  That reading was about allowing my emotional exploration and growth to have some free reign, and the repeat of these cards in today’s draw holds a message to remind me of that reading and build upon it with this one.

Take Away:  Yesterday I had a good deal of business themed readings.  This reading is a reminder not to allow what needs to be done for the business to distract me from the emotional growth and exploration I’ve made the decision to embracing.

DECK USED:  TARAT RAT TAROT

It’s For Your Own Good

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3725Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon acceptance of one’s limitations and not viewing them as failures. The guided meditation spoke on the dangers of allowing yourself to come down too harshly on limitations that might play into one’s life.  Limitations from injuries, or even just normal day to day limitations that everyone has.

Sometimes we all fall a little short in one way or another.  We don’t get that promotion or manage to reach a goal that we’ve set our eyes on.   Today’s meditation was a reminder that you need to look at these limitations and disappointments as an opportunity for growth… not a reflection of failure upon you as a person.  Because when you choose to go down a dark road in your mind?  It can lead to even darker roads than the ones you ever meant to tread.

Maruco Animal Tarot - StrengthToday’s draw is the Strength card of the Major Arcana.  Like all of the Major Arcana, this card deals with all of the aspects of the human experience rather than just one single aspect at a time.  It is traditionally a representation of inner strength and courage as well as themes that deal with the ability to influence and/or persuade others to your will.

In the imagery of this card, what really stands out to me today is the lion is happy.  This speaks to me of being able to set aside one’s cranky ass nature to allow another to present you with an option that you may not have considered or normally have been open to, but that ultimately ends up making you happy.

You do this for me all the time.  You see the world a bit differently, your gaze is more focused upon people and emotions than I am, and your attention is more focused upon my self-care than I am.  You push me to do things to take care of myself that I would often neglect if it wasn’t for your influence… and I’m the better for allowing you that room to push and (in some instances) dictate on these matters.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What am I being invited to forgive myself for at this time?

Sun and Moon Tarot

Reading Summary: Making the choice (Two of Swords) to take some time for myself (Four of Swords) instead of spending all my time focusing on the betterment of my business (Princess of Wands).

The symmetry of colors between the first and last cards is how this deck is made, but it also spoke to me about the order in which the cards needed to be read.

In the center card, what really stands out to me there is the stripes on the tiger and how they continue up along the girl’s legs creating a synchronistic blending between man and beast… the beast being the burning fire of ambition.

Take Away:  The key to these cards is in the swords.  It’s in the fact that I am making an actual, conscious choice to allow myself some rest and recuperation. I’m not being forced.   I need to respect my choices as well as my need for this rest, and forgive myself for making the choice to prioritize rest over work.  Stop beating myself up over all of the things I could have been doing during that time and how much further ahead I could be. 

DECK USED:  SUN AND MOON TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Am I happy with the person I have become?

Dixit Cards v.2 QuestReading Summary: The strength and confidence to being true to myself is long standing (first card).  But, there is too much preying upon my small and soft spots (middle card), and too much inner cruelty and inner strife (third card).

Take Away:  So, yes… I am happy (pink) with the person I am and have always been (cobwebs).  I am comfortable in my own skin and know what I like (ballet slippers nearly glowing in the dark).  This?  I’m happy about and good with this.  I love to encourage and inspire others (en pointe position of shoes), and I believe that deep down I am a good person.

But… No.  I’m not happy about the person I have become when it deals with how that vicious part deep within me (cats eye glowing in the dark) treats the small and vulnerable parts of me (mouse on a plate), and how my negative thoughts sneak out (tentacles from the die) and provoke me into (demon made of tentacles) treating myself so harshly (orange red background).

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARDS V.2 QUEST

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does good communication look like to me?

The Fountain Tarot

Reading Summary: No padding the truth with kindness and comfort (Empress Rx). No wishy-washy verbiage or illusive connotations (The High Priestess). Just clarity (The Fountain) and pure, open sharing/discourse (Page of Coins).

There is also a connection between the two left cards and the two right cards, as both speak to me through color, use of light, and horizons.   In the left pair, which is the receiving side, there is an indication that although I prefer grounded and clear spoken honesty in communication, I also need a touch of warmth and humanity to the presentation in order to stay receptive to it.

In contrast, on the projective side (the right side) the two cards have a much colder and sharper feel to the imagery.  This speaks to me of my own delivery and how I feel feel the need for sharp focus and precision when I communicate and often rate that as being more important than softness or warmth.

Take Away:  All of this looks pretty accurate to me.  I take a good deal of care in my communication with others to phrase things in a precise way that won’t allow for a lot of misunderstanding or taking things “out of context” or in another light than intended.  I think a lot of people feel this comes off as cold and distant, and I have to make a conscious effort in my communication with others to not come off that way.

By the same turn, although I prioritize honesty and clarity above all else, I do find that I like a little warmth in how others communicate with me.  Even though I struggle with returning it in turn.

DECK USED:  THE FOUNTAIN TAROT