Knight of wands

Weekly Creativity Prompt – New Years Reflections

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Pull a random card from your deck and decide what aspect of your life this card represents for you.

That’s not what happened, I remember… – Memory issues, and my aversion to looking into the past.

Cast of Characters Cards and Blue Earth Tarot - Queen of Cups, The Empress, Knight of WandsPull three more random cards, and interpret them as goals, aspirations, and/or resolutions related to that aspect of your life represented in the first card.

A Goal – Queen of Cups – Seek out support from those you know are there to steady you emotionally when you try to dip your toes into the waters of the path. There’s a lot of emotional trauma back there that you are avoiding, and being supported by others can help you deal with it.

An Aspiration – The Empress – Healthy, happy, and abundant. You want to feel secure and nurtured. Cared for. Your past has made this feel like an impossible dream, but it should instead be viewed as a goal of self-healing.

A Resolution – Knight of Wands – Commit yourself to exploring and healing these past wounds, instead of buying them and pretending that they don’t exist.

DECKS USED: BLUE EARTH TAROT AND CAST OF CHARACTERS CARDS

Modulating Enthusiasm

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I’ve managed to fall behind yet again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 11th or not. So I’ll leave this empty this time around as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Knight of WandsToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of exuberance and a intensity directed towards one’s focus through passion and drive.  This card is about inspired action and the embodiment of the phrase “Go get’em cowboy.”

What I see in the imagery of this card today is overkill.  That, too, is a part of the meaning behind the Knight of Wands.  Impulsive action and overkill often go hand in hand with feelings of enthusiasm and drive.

The message here is about moderation.  It’s great to be motivated, and spectacular to feel a sense of enthusiasm for a purpose or project.  But the thing is?  When you get too carried away in those feelings of motivation and enthusiasm, it’s very easy to become destructive to yourself, to those around you, and to the project at large.

It’s important to remember not to let those feelings of motivation and enthusiasm carry you away to the point that you become a destructive force instead of a productive one.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Mars Question: An obstacle, or blockade, I am asked to deal with.

Antique Anatomy Tarot Mass Market Edition

Reading Summary: There’s a big difference between avoidance (Four of Elixirs), and moderation (Temperance). Avoidance (Eight of Blades) leads to overburdening and overwhelm (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  I need to work on learning the difference because I excel far to well at avoidance… and not well enough at moderation.  The cards here indicate that my tendency toward avoidance is a part of the problem that causes me to hit overwhelm and burnout.

DECK USED:  ANTIQUE ANATOMY TAROT MASS MARKET EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What harsh truths do you prefer to ignore?

Delos TarotReading Summary:  That I can’t last forever with fresh as a daisy enthusiasm (Ace of Wands) without getting some rest and recovery along the way (Four of Swords). Gideon can help you find balance (King of Cups) but you have to reach out to him for that help (Two of Cups).

Take Away:  I hate that I need to rest.  I really do.  I hate that I can’t go the way I could have ten years ago, non stop and moving fast.  It just doesn’t feel right to me to need the amount of rest that I do, regardless of the fact that I know I get less rest than the average person.   Rest feels like an inconvenience more than a necessity and it drives me nuts that I have to take time for it. Time I could be putting forward into things that I need to get done.

I’m aware this is an issue that’s rooted in my upbringing and in my determination to be independent from a young age.   My need for stability requiring money that you have to work for, etc.  And I know that Gideon can help calm that desperation.  Sometimes, I fear, though, that in calming that inner desperation, I will lose my independence and the stability that has been so hard won so far.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I heal myself?

Lunatic Tarot

Reading Summary: Pay more attention to where you wanna go (Ten of Pentacles), and less attention to your feelings of scarcity (Five of Pentacles). You need to be able to rest and recover (Four of Swords)… and focusing on your feelings of scarcity is just not going to get you there.

Take Away:  Rest and recovery.  Recuperation and rest are the path to healing myself.  Feelings of scarcity rooted in my past (figure looking to the left in the center card) drive me to treating myself badly and making unhealthy choices.

I need to remember that I won’t be able to enjoy the stability I’ve accomplished, or further stability I might gain, if I’ve worked myself to death in trying to fill that never ending hole of emptiness that those feelings of scarcity create.

DECK USED:  LUNATIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What part of my life would I like to improve over the next year?

Edmund Dulac Tarot

Reading Summary: A better work / life balance (Two of Coins). The ability to enjoy my time with my loved ones freely (Three of Cups). Reclaiming my ambition while finding a better way (Knave of Swords).

Take Away:  These three cards tie in together, in that it is through finding that better balance between work and life that I can find time to spend with loved ones free of guilt or negative inner dialogue.  The cards also indicate that on the work side of things, the lagging of my ambition over the past handful of months is a reflection of the efforts to settle into the new work / life balance I’ve been trying to foster.  As I learn to adjust to this new balance and find it more comfortable, the card indicates that my ambition will then rekindle.

DECK USED:  EDMUND DULAC TAROT

Confidence vs. Ego

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and a simple relaxing harp strings meditation with an intermittent timer just to keep me on track.  I did some basic piriformis stretching, but nothing particularly strenuous or difficult.  I just wanted a nice, peaceful meditation and that’s exactly what I got for once.

Next World Tarot - Knight of WandsToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of an active, projective beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s enthusiasm and drive.

Interestingly, although I usually relate pretty strongly to the Knight of Wands, the imagery in this card just… doesn’t do it for me.   The barren ground… the smirking expression.  It’s just doesn’t speak of that drive that I usually associate with this card.

Instead, what I see here is ego. It’s that “Yeah baby, I’m so good my farts don’t stink… they fly like chocolate flavored eagles in a sky that wants to emulate my fashion sense.”

Cracks up… and there’s the message right? Watch your ego. Don’t get too cocky.  Confidence is great, but don’t let it go so far that it becomes a detriment  and blinds you to your own flaws and mistakes.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What do I think a healing journey “should” look like?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: A well planned out direction (Two of Wands), leading to epiphany moments (Judgement), followed by better balance (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Yes, I know that that vision of what a healing journey should look like is unrealistic.  Nothing is ever that simple.   But when I imagine what a “healing journey” should look like… that’s what my idea scenario feels like.  A plotted course that has a plan on where I intend to end up and how I’m going to get there, and moments of realization and epiphany along the way that assist in finding new perspectives and easing self judgements, followed by a healed self with better balance in the different areas of my life as a byproduct.   It’s a wonderful fantasy, yeah?

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Remember / Forgive / Forget

Spark and Pen TarotRemember – Two of Wands and King of Pentacles
Remember what you’ve learned about planning turning into paying off. I’m not sure that this is a lesson I’m going to forget very soon, but there are times when I do forget… usually when my enthusiasm and excitement cause me to get carried away.  The message here in these cards though is that you need a direction to climb in in order to reach the top.

Forgive – Six of Cups and The Moon
Forgive yourself for the times in life when you’ve been uncertain and stop beating yourself up about them. In my youth, I made a number of bad choices and a there was a lot of trial and error in learning how to survive on my own and thrive. Sometimes I look back on those times and some of the things I’d done… and I feel a disappointment and negative judgement. The cards here are indicating that instead of holding onto these things, I need to let them go and forgive myself for them.

Forget – Page of Wands and Five of Cups
Forget the hardships that came with learning how to get where you are. Shit happened… There were doubts… That’s no reason to keep emotionally rehashing the past and those learning experiences. You learned the lessons and can retain them without the need to hold on to the emotional pleasantries and negative inner narrative that comes up when these hardships and all that happened during them are rehashed.

Take Away – Hold onto the lessons and let go of the blame and negative self judgement. Everyone learns some lessons in life the hard way, and that’s okay.  Plot  your course to success, and leave the past in the past where it belongs.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Where can the element of Air empower my psyche?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Enthusiasm (Ace of Wands) and intuition (The High Priestess), flavored by a go get’em creative flow at its core (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  The element of air empowers my psyche by giving me the tools to go after what inspires my creativity.  Those tools are a combination of enthusiasm and intuition.  As my creativity carries me forward and I dive into those things that stir up my creative juices, it’s those elements of enthusiasm and intuition that feed into and swirl through my creativity to allow manifestation and actual creation to take place.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What memories bring me pain?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Creativity and imagination (Page of Cups) drawing praise from others (Six of Wands), that ends up resulting in being alone (The Hermit).

Take Away:  There have been many times in my life where I’ve had my imagination and creativity flowing, while being encouraged and praised by those around me. That imagination and creativity seems to draw them in and their praise makes me feel like maybe there is a connection there between me and these people, and yet instead of sticking around when I need a little time to myself, they always end up disappearing for good and leaving me alone when I come back from my temporary retreats into myself.  This experience has made me feel used… which, of course, hurt.

This was an unexpected result of the reading of this question.  Not that it’s not true… it absolutely is.  It’s just not something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about or examining before.  A lot of the really thought provoking answers I’ve gotten lately have been about how I relate to others.  This reading adds into those previous readings, creating another angle of perspective for them.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Knights

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Pull the Knights from a deck of your choice. Do you have someone in your life that fits with one of these cards? Do you have people in your life that would fit with each of them? Tell us about the connection you see between each Knight card and the person in your life it represents.

Numinous Tarot

Knight of Wands (Explorer of Candles) – Idealistic and demanding, she visits the protests each night after work. With a mask over her face she holds her sign high, she shouts her passions loud and strong as she joins the mass in the streets again and again. She stands up for her beliefs and for what’s right.  She stands up for what she feels is important, protesting and demanding change as she helps the protestors to drive home what is important and what needs done.

Knight of Swords (Explorer of Bells) – What had once been a spark of an idea has become a burning need to succeed.  She built this business from the ground up and now constantly pushes forward, ever onward, to guide the business towards growth and encourage it to flourish.  Sometimes she takes risks that seem reckless in this need to advance her cause.

Knight of Cups (Explorer of Vials) – Such a charmer, he hits the bars each night with his frat brothers and always comes home with a giggling and happy girl.  He leaves them as happy as he finds them, if not happier, but he does this naturally in pursuit of his own fulfillment.  After all?  How can he wrangle the very best experience out of them without giving them the very best in turn?  Sometimes this means they fall for him, but he’s the love’em and leave’em type.  He does his best to let them down easy, because there’s new depths to explore around the corner with another in the wings.

Knight of Pentacles (Explorer of Tomes) – Five days a week he sits at a desk in a pleated suit and tie.  He meets with clients and guides them forward, showing them how to invest, and what to invest in, sharing strategies for paying off their debts, for financing their mortgage, for creating a fund for their retirement.  His passion in this work, in helping others find their own stability, brings him to work each day and he takes his own advice to build his own future as well.

DECK USED:  THE NUMINOUS TAROT

Holy Fury of Chaos

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I found it difficult to stay on track with the guided meditation.  In truth?  I can’t even remember what the theme of the meditation was about.  Just too much going on in my brain, I think.  It was all I could do to realize when my mind was straying and bring myself back to center again.

Knight of Wands - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a beta energy, personality, or person influencing the areas of one’s drive, ambition, and passions.

What I see in today’s card is chaos.   Aggression too, but chaos.  So much fucking chaos.  In fact, when I first saw this card today, there was so much chaos that I had a really hard time making out what the depiction in this card actually is.

The message in this card isn’t about the picture so much as about that chaos.  I couldn’t write this post yesterday (I’m writing it a day late and will back-date it here in the blog) because I couldn’t find… the message.  I couldn’t find the positive as all I could see was the confusion and chaos.

Today, I have the message.  Yes, the perception of chaos is still there and yes, it’s completely on match with everything that went on yesterday from being (temporarily.. I hope) laid off from all of my jobs other than the farm to the sudden tank in my online sales, the loss of medical benefits, the break in at the food bank and them being cleared out of everything they had, the lack of ANY food (or supplies to even make food from scratch) in grocery stores… every part of the stability I work so hard on and struggle and strive for so damned hard and depend on for my balance… ripped out from under me like a rug.  And thus… chaos.

The message here isn’t only about the chaos tho.  It’s about the Knight of Wands in a moment of chaos.  It’s about not giving up and pushing for your dreams even when things are difficult.  It’s about… not breaking under the strain that chaos can create.

I can do this.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: Where would I most benefit from releasing control during this liminal time?

Eight Coins Tarot

Reading Summary:  These cards are about making the choice (The Lovers) to let go of my top space and allowing the natural balance of our relationship (Two of Cups) to fall back into place.  I don’t have to have all the tools all the time (The Magician Rx).

Take Away:  I’ve already made the choice to do this.  It’s time for us to fall back into balance and I feel good in letting you take back control.  I still think it’s kinda crappy that that top space doesn’t allow for giving the kind of aftercare I want to provide you with… but that last card makes it clear that it’s okay I don’t have all “the tools” and feels like a direct reflection on that perceived shortcoming.

DECK USED:  EIGHT COINS TATTOO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve on where I am emotionally in the week ahead?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: Work on staying grounded (King of Coins) and connecting with my strengths (Emperor) and focusing on my composure (Queen of Swords).

Take Away:  With everything up in the air and feeling so chaotic right now, the advice here is to tap into those grounded  emotions and calm composure in order to keep things calm and somewhat level emotionally.   I am more than capable of making it through these difficult times as long as I don’t allow myself to fall under the shadows of confusion, fear, or a mentality of victimization.  I am the solid foundation in my life when the world goes mad around me.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I better manage my inner critic?

Law of Attraction Tarot

Reading Summary:  Recognize when I’m being a dick (First Card) and take time to find a better approach (Second Card) that involves taking charge without lashing out (Third Card) at myself.  (Interpretation off imagery alone.)

Take Away:  My go-to way to motivate myself and push myself forward is to beat myself up and lash at myself like a bastard farmer whipping the ass of an oxen to make it pull the plow.  That lash, in my case, is my inner critic.  The cards indicate that I need to work at finding another way to motivate myself that doesn’t include beating myself up in the process.   So much easier said than done… but they’re not wrong.

DECK USED:  LAW OF ATTRACTION TAROT

 

 

Yesterday’s Meditation and Draw

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OK… so yesterday was a bit of a clusterf’k and then I came home and you distracted me and I did NOT get to yesterday’s post. SO…. here it is, a day late.

Yesterday’s meditation was ten minutes (and a few seconds) long and focused on self-worth, not just in how we treat ourselves, but also in what we -allow- in our lives.

It was a good reminder to not allow other’s negativity to be absorbed and repeated through self abuse.

Yesterday’s draw was the Cheetah… aka, the Knight of Wands, which is a representation of an action based beta energy, person, or personality in the area of passions, drive, willpower, and ambitions. Knight cards are cards of action and forward movement.

The Cheetah on this card is described in the guidebook with the keywords of focus, power, conviction, awareness, passion, and courage.

Looking back on yesterday, I absolutely needed that “RAWR” energy of “plowing forward” towards my goals to make it through the day, and that is how I took the card when it was drawn in the morning (as a need for that sort of energy in my day ahead).

From the “Genius” Bar appointment… and I digress, but really. If you’re going to name yourself a GENIUS Bar, there should be f’king geniuses working there. Not idiots that don’t know how to do a damn thing and refuse to practice common decency, let alone good customer service.

Ok, from the “Genius” Bar, to the traffic, to the accidental falling asleep at the wheel, to the customs delays, to just…. everything yesterday while I was out and about. It was a damned mess. And without that passion and energy of the Knight of Wands at the forefront of my mind, the day would have been that much more difficult.

Deck Used: The Animism Tarot