Cut And Run? Maybe Not

Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long and was one of the Calm app’s guided meditations.  As usual, I combined that with an interval timer for my piriformis stretches, and I included extra forearm flexor stretches as well as my arms have been feeling a bit tight lately.

The focus of today’s meditation was a bit weird today.  I didn’t really understand it.  It was about posing the question “what is this?” into your meditation, but not directed toward any one thing.  More to open up a sense of curiosity and linger in it?

I’m not sure if this is something I’m capable of doing without having a target for that curiosity, and I feel that I didn’t really manage to do the meditation properly, although I did manage to meditate regardless by focusing on my breath and the waterdrop tones that I had playing in the background.

Cent Proverbes Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of moving on to a better place not due to frustration or irritation (that would be the Eight of Cups), but rather in the seeking of something healthier and better than what you’ve left behind. This makes this card’s theme one of transition and change, and leaving one’s baggage behind to begin anew.

What I see in the imagery of this card today is fear and escape, which fits well with the theme of the Six of Swords.  In the imagery we see a home, perhaps a vineyard or farm, that has been taken over by militia men.  The owner sees what is happening and is fearful, he seeks to slip away and sneak off… escape the chaos before things go from bad to worse.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message that I see in these cards is that it’s important to evaluate when it’s time to cut and run, and when to stand your ground and ride it out. Don’t underestimate your strength in these moments, and if something is truly important to you, don’t run from the responsibility or the conflict that might come from standing your ground in those moments.


The #httSelfImprovementTarotChallenge Prompt
: Where do I need to be more nurturing to myself?

My Garden Tarot

Reading Summary:  Lots of earth, lots of grounding (Queen of Coins), lots of nurturing (The Empress)… take your time (Temperance)

Take Away:  I need to step away from trying so hard to balance everything and give myself some forest bathing time.  Temperance, earth, and grounding, when combined together?  100% equals forest bathing.  Not a hike where you push your body and work hard… temperance.  A slow meander, some quiet alone time.  Perhaps some time lying in a bed of moss watching cedar fronds sway and clouds shift above them.  Regardless.  Where I need to be more nurturing is in allowing myself more time to get out in nature, and truly take my time and savor my time there.


#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: What is Divinity?

Cent Proverbes TarotReading Summary:  Individual (Nine of Pentacles). Guidance (Three of Wands). Wisdom (King of Swords).

Take Away: In these cards, Divinity is something that is unique and different for each person, and yet universally something that provides both guidance and wisdom when needed.

Although each and every person may experience Divinity differently, what we see here is that beneath all of those different opinions and experiences, there is a universal truth in that guidance and wisdom remains when all the differences are rinsed away.


Daily Self Kindness

Late night super hot play session with Gideon.  No more need be said.

Support Systems and Strength

Today’s meditation was skipped.  I had planned to feed Luna then go on into the other room and meditate, but as soon as I was moving around the apartment apparently I was fair game for every little thing that everyone needed to talk to me about.  It just didn’t get done because by the time I got a few minutes to myself?  It was time to get online and spend some time with Gideon.  SO yeah.  No meditation today.

Cute Cat Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of emotional satiety that goes beyond just self satisfaction and spreads to a harmony with others.

The key to this card and what moves it beyond the solitary satisfaction of the Nine of Cups, is that it is about how your satisfaction and positive emotions are shared with others.  Just as what we see here in the card is three cats… instead of one.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that no man is an island unto themselves.

Being strong isn’t just about you.  It’s about who you choose to surround yourself in, and the choice to allow these people in your life to have an active part in helping achieve happiness, harmony, and enjoyment in the every day.  It’s about letting them in and allowing them to help when you need help.   It’s the support system that you build for yourself that helps create the happiness and resilience needed to stand tall in even the biggest of storms.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  What energy am I attracting in my life at this time?

Marziano Tarot

Reading Summary:  Consumerism over gratitude (Nine of Phoenixes), hedonism (Bacco), and sorting things out in your head (Five of Eagles).

Take Away:  Reevaluation of my more “freewheeling” tendencies (which are all consumerism based).   The energy that I’m attracting into my life at this time is all about looking at what I’m doing and weighing its value.  Where am I placing my energy, my attention, and my money?  What is diverting my attention away from a mindset of gratitude.  What am  I hiding from that I am using these things to distract myself?  It’s time to start digging and find the answers to these questions.


#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
: What kind of person do you truly want to become?

Cute Cat TarotReading Summary:  Capable (Magician). Serene and comfortably wise in the area of my personal emotions and those of others (King of Cups atop The World).  Well balanced (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is a glimpse of what I hope to accomplish through the emotional growth that I am exploring in myself at this time and have been working to foster in  myself over the past year or so.

With this growth I hope to become more confident in my ability to understand and accept my emotions, and understand and react to the emotions of others.  I also hope to find a better way to balance the softer sides of myself and the harder more cutthroat sides of my nature.


Daily Self Kindness

Gid and I had a talk today about our balance between the Dominance and submission and other aspects of our intimate relationship.  It felt… really good. I’m not sure if he feels the same, but I feel like we aired some stuff that hadn’t been aired before and that I’m really glad to have heard and now know.

What We Pass On

Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long and was a guided meditation that I had saved on my phone from the Calm app that is from last winter.  Along with the guided meditation, I included an interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

I really liked this meditation the first time I did it, and so I decided to do it again.  The topic of today’s meditation was about silence and stillness, and how even when we don’t feel like meditation does anything for us, it quietly works behind the scenes and makes changes in not just how we see and deal with life, but also with our health.

This is something that I relate to a lot.  When I do my meditation, whether it’s hit-or-miss or done regularly every day, I don’t really feel a difference in myself.  I don’t feel any different, or see any differences just on the surface level.  But other people notice the differences.  They notice I am a bit more relaxed and a bit less high strung.  They notice that I smile more and react more noticeably to music and songs that I enjoy. And my Fitbit notices as well, for doing meditation regularly significantly changes my resting heart rate by over ten bpm.  I have a feeling that if I had a blood pressure cuff, that I would see a noticeable difference there as well.

Queer Witch Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of heartbreak, disappointments, and hurt feelings. The key to remember in this card is that it is in the Swords suit, which is about the mind.  We are not in the Cups suit.  These emotions are about being stuck in your head, they are produced by the thoughts, opinions, and inner narrative going on up in the mind.  Thus, they live in the Swords suit instead of in the Cups.

The thing is?  People fear this card regardless of where the pain comes from.  This is because people fear pain.  Whether it’s created from out mind or not, it hurts… and that is (understandably) something that can instill fear.

The reminder here is about this card, and about life in general. It’s about realizing pain is coming, seeing or feeling a warning of what’s to come… and not flinching or shirking away from it.  It’s about understanding and accepting pain, and separating yourself from it internally so that you do not lash out at others and spread that pain onward.   Smiles are not the only thing that can be contagious, and it’s important to make sure that we spread love; not pain and not fear.


The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
How can I deepen my connection with my intuition?

Rabbit Tarot

Reading Summary: Lean into grounded empathy and nurturing (The Empress) instead of aggression (Seven of Sticks). Be generous in sharing your time and attention with others you connect strongly with (Six of Daisies atop Two of Tulips).

Take Away: Pause and pick your battles.  Make sure what you’re fighting for is really worth it, and if it really needs that rise of aggression that comes to “save the day”.  Would empathy and understanding work better?  Would working to find common ground and making a connection be a better path?   Removing aggression from the equation will help in that intuitive connection, as you will no longer be stepping into habitual behavior.


#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
: What do you need to focus on for self-care for this full moon?

Queer Witch TarotReading Summary: Slow down in the addictions (The Devil) that are scarcity driven (Five of Pentacles)… or else (The Tower).

Take Away: This is something that I have been doing over the past month or so, the slowing down on those addictions that tap into my finances.  With this full moon we are looking at a lot of things that need to be paid for.  Insurance,  the accountant, more than likely the IRS, etc.  Extra expenditures that I don’t usually need to deal with on the regular. 

This extra precaution right now is necessary, but temporary and will ease off as the month moves closer to the new moon in a couple of weeks.


Daily Self Kindness

I tried to give myself plenty of small breaks today without it getting to a point where it negatively affected my work or my bed time.  I think I did pretty good.

It’s Okay To Need Help

Today’s meditation was just under ten  minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app combined with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The focus of today’s meditation was about speaking with kindness when one is irritated, instead of with abrasion and aggression.  Sometimes it can be hard to do that, and the advice in the meditation today was about tapping into your meditative mindfulness practice by taking a pause before speaking, and a deep breath.  Allowing yourself to calm a bit in that moment prior to opening up and speaking what’s on your mind.

In doing this, you’re able to approach the situation with a more level head, and usually end up with a far better outcome as a result.

Petrak Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Four of Discs, which is traditionally a representation of stability, strong foundations, conservation, and at times, miserly behavior or control issues when it comes to one’s finances or earthly pleasures.

Although I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking at in this image, what stands out to me here is that the discs in this image are providing a sort of structure, balance, and perhaps even support for the inner beam of energy that they encircle.  This makes stability and support, to me, the highlight of this card’s meaning in the sense of the imagery itself.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is that we all need support now and then.  That doesn’t mean that we are less than because we need that support.  Instead, it shows a different sort of strength to be able to accept the help and support offered by others, and a self awareness that you can’t do everything all on your own all the time.


The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
A message from my inner crone.

Patch Tarot

Reading Summary: Make sure you’re enjoying life to the fullest (The Sun) by owning (as in taking ownership of) those things that light your fire (King of Disks) and following your intuition (The Priestess).

Take Away:  My inner crone wants me to know that life is short and I need to follow my instincts and intuition in the direction of enjoying life and living it to its fullest rather than constantly holding myself back and being so practical.  Not everything can be about stability, security, and comfort.


#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2
Question: Where do I need to seek more clarity in my life?

Petrak TarotReading Summary: The deep blues in the Four of Discs correlates with the dark blues in the Three of Swords Rx.  This connects these two cards and the Three of Wands is drug along from center to the left (the present and past) due to being positioned on top of the Three of Swords.

Thus the cards indicate that you need to redefine your perception (Three of Wands atop Three of Swords Rx) of stability (Four of Discs).

The Three of Wands also has a very strong color connection with the Fortune card, pulling the Three of Wands to the right side of the board (aka the future) as well.

This then speaks of the result of redefining your perception is that in your life journey (Three of Wands) you will have more room to account for the ups and downs in life (Fortune).

Take Away: My current perceptions of what stability means to me are caging me in and keeping me from being as flexible and adaptable as I could be.  If I open up my mind to look at stability from different angles, I will find that stability and security are more than what I have limited them to, and this will allow me to grow and adapt more easily.


Daily Self Kindness

I took my fire extinguisher downstairs with me when I went to check on a neighbor whose fire alarm was going off for over ten minutes.  Turns out he got drunk and passed out with a pain on the stove.  Fortunately, enough pounding on the door roused him before he could succumb to smoke inhalation and there was no real damage done (other than to the pan).

Unrecognized Contributions

Okay so, the blog is definitely not helping me in being accountable for my meditation practice, but my body apparently is very much up for the job.  I woke up in pain again this morning for the third day in the row and I know it’s because I have not been meditating, which means I’ve not been doing my piriformis stretches.  As a result, my hips and back are stiffening up and it’s becoming increasingly painful with each day that passes.  SO… tomorrow?  I am meditating.  I’m am going to get my ass back on track, because otherwise I’m going to have to pick up extra physiotherapy and chiro.

Linescape Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Eight of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of hard work, mastering a skill, and can often indicate repetitive tasks or perfectionism.

I really like this card as I feel that it shows a different perspective than what we usually see in the Eight of Pentacles.  The imagery here is of a city built of skyscrapers, overlain with puzzle pieces.  This is representative to me of the massive amount of planning needed in building a city, and the expertise needed to make all of it fit together and work together well.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what we have here is a reminder that everyone has their unique skills.  It is when we work together that we create something truly great. The key word here is “together” and that includes you.  Without you, there is no “together” and the project or endeavor would lack what you personally bring to the table.  Don’t discount what you have to offer, and how valuable that is to the team and the endeavor as a whole.


The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
A message from my inner child. A message from my inner mother.

Twilight Rabbit Tarot

Inner Child – The Trickster atop King of Stone – Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you have everything under control.

Control is one of those things that I feel like I am constantly striving for, as it always feels as if with control comes stability and security. The reminder from my inner child is about how life is unpredictable even in the best of times and loves throw curve balls.

Inner Mother – Strength atop The Empress – True strength is more than determination and brawn (Strength), but requires nurturing and self-care as well.

It is not at all surprising to me that my Inner Mother would remind me about self-care. Sometimes self-care comes easily, but a lot of times I still feel a good amount of guilt for the time I take for self-care.  My inner dialogue tries to shame me into believing that it’s laziness instead of necessity, wasting time instead of caring for myself. My Inner Mother then speaks here to remind me that it is through self-care that strength is bolstered and given what is needed to flourish.


#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
: What is your personal superpower?

Linescape TarotReading Summary: Finding happiness and stability (Nine of Pentacles) when at home in nature (Four of Wands), and sorting the rest out later (Page of Swords).

Take Away: My superpower is being able to step out into the forest and letting the world fall away, finding my place and my peace among the trees and moss and letting my worries and ambitions go in order to truly sink into the comfort of the forest’s embrace.

In many ways, I am more at home lying in damp moss among nurse logs and towering evergreens than I am at home on my couch or stretched out in my own bed.

Finding these places and becoming one with them, spending time within them and allowing the essence of these places to sink in and purge the stress and worry of day to day life is my super power.


Daily Self Kindness

I finished my motherfuckin’ taxes!!  I’m so goddamned happy.  Now I just need to meet with the accountant so he can do his part of things, and then pay the man.

Balancing Act

Today’s meditation was skipped again.  Clearly accountability is not coming in the form of these blog posts, although I am definitely going to have to get back on track with this one way or another.

Dreaming Cat Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support CardsToday’s draw is the Star card, which is traditionally about hope, positivity, and the inter-connectivity between ourselves, spirituality, and the world around us.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is that there’s a good deal of fun and curiosity going on in this image.  The cat plays in the water, pats at the flitting fish, splashes the shore in its eagerness as the star shines down upon her and the shore.  I’ve seen my own cat do this in the sink and bathtub many, many times and it’s always a pursuit filled with both curiosity and joy.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a message about taking a bit of time to feel free and happy, no matter how much you need to get done or how serious the day might need to be as a whole.  If that time bumps something that needs done to the next day?  Be okay with that.  It’s okay.  You need that lightheartedness in your day to help balance things out and keep things healthy.


LionHart’s Sacred Self Divination Challenge Prompt
: How, or where, can the lessons of my past help me make choices that are best for me today?

Wild Wolf Tarot

 Reading Summary:  Own your choices and strive for stability (Alpha of Hunters), even when you’re wrapped up in the enthusiasm of learning new things (Pup of Leaders) and feeling like a kid in a candy store (Six of Caretakers).

Take Away:  My past instilled within me a deep seated need for stability in my home life and security. Even when I get wrapped up in the joy of discovery and learning new things, I always stay focused on where these things might lead and how they might help foster more stability and security.   The cards here are saying that it’s okay to let go.  The lessons I learned when I was young about needing to be ever vigilant to that security and stability?  They’re flawed.  I don’t need to keep an eye on it every moment of every day.  It’s okay to enjoy the enthusiasm for enthusiasm’s sake without planning everything to be profitable in some way down the road.


#DiscordTarotolicsApr2021 Challenge Prompt
: What would this new perspective look like when applied to my life?

Dreaming Cat TarotReading Summary: More time to teach (The Hierophant) and connect with others with a more heart centered focus (Two of Cups atop Queen of Wands Rx) instead of constantly pushing ever forward toward my goals (Knight of Pentacles Rx atop Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The new perspective was about not acting on my ideas right away, but rather stepping back and writing things down, then delving in later so that I don’t overwhelm myself.

The result of doing this will allow me to have the time and opportunity to make deeper connections with others so that I’m not just helping people in finding their path, but truly bonding with them in the process.  In other words, less standing on the outside and more immersive interaction.


Daily Self Kindness

I went to bed instead of forcing myself to stay up when I was exhausted.  I really wanted more time with Gideon, but I was so tired and really needed the sleep.