Enjoying the Journey

Today’s meditation was skipped this morning because the girls would just not leave me the fuck alone.  Between that and the running of the vacuum, I just couldn’t make it happen.  I will be doing it before bed, though.  Absolutely.   I won’t skip it entirely.

Tarot of Haunted House - King of PentaclesToday’s draw is the King of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, home and hearth, health, and manifestations. This often translates into themes that have to do with business acumen, a strong sense of responsibility, and financial growth and stability.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is that the king is surrounded in all of this wealth, but his sword is down and he looks bored as hell.

We all have goals to aim for, dreams to reach for.  We all have those things that we strive for in our day to day lives.  The thing is?  We spend all of this time striving… and then once we get there?  We’re bored.

The message in today’s card is about enjoying the journey.  It’s not about the end zone.  It’s about the game.  It’s about each step you take along the way and living in the moment instead of being so focused on the future that you miss all the good stuff in the now.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question
: I now call in my ancestors, how do you respond?

Ritual Abuse Tarot

Reading Summary: My ancestors respond with a hopeful outlook for this new connection (The Star), and an eagerness to play a more open role (The Sun) in helping me find balance (Justice).

Take Away: I wasn’t really sure how this reading would go, but it went really well and the answers came through loud and smoothly.  My ancestors are eager to have a more conscious role in my life just as my guides are, and hope to help me on my journey to make good choices, enjoy life more, and have a better sense of balance in my life. 

DECK USED:  RITUAL ABUSE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What healing lesson is waiting for me to realize and accept it?

Halloween TarotReading Summary: That you can carry forward and reap the benefits of the lessons you’ve learned (Page of Pumpkins) in the past (Six of Ghosts), while still letting go of the bad stuff and leaving it behind (Death).

Take Away:  Although I know that this is possible and have been able to do it in some cases, there are other cases where the crap that taught me the lesson still clings to the lesson itself. In these instances, I struggle to pry my emotions about the incident away from the lessons learned.  Although I realize this struggle is ongoing for me, I haven’t yet gotten to a point where I’ve been able to accept it in all cases yet.  Its something I’m working on, though.

DECK USED:  HALLOWEEN TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question
: What in myself do I need to strengthen to understand my Guides better?

The Gothic Tarot

Reading Summary: The stronger your intuition is the more you’ll understand (The High Priestess rising up from beneath the Eight of Swords). Use the spark of passion that you have in your soul (Ace of Wands) to search for ways to develop this slowly… a bit at a time (Death).

Take Away: This is a message about taking things slow and steady while continuing to develop my intuitive abilities. The interior cards here are all about my intuition, and allowing it to emerge and slowly bring clear sight to murky moments and the things I’m not yet ready to see.  The outer cards are then about taking my time and allowing my curiosity to lead the way forward into this change and through it’s slow development.

DECK USED:  THE GOTHIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What beautiful aspect of my life am I ready to embrace?

Dead Waite Tarot

Reading Summary: Gideon is helping me in making better choices (The Lovers) that don’t involve retreating into myself (The Hermit Rx). As this help continues,  I’m learning to lean into that response as my go-to reaction less and less (Eight of Wands).

Take Away:  Each time situations arise that I would have previously retreated from the world and curled into myself, I more quickly jump to use the tools and methods that Gideon has been helping me with learning.  Healthier methods that allow for me to connect with others instead of close myself off from the world.  The beautiful aspect of my life that I am ready to embrace is two-fold in this reading.  First, is Gideon’s help.   Second is the healthier methods he has helped to teach me.

DECK USED:  DEAD WAITE TAROT

Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Prophet

Pull (at least) three cards use them to tell a story about a hayride or a visit to a pumpkin patch.

Halloween TarotThere was once a young boy that was high strung and seemed to constantly be afraid of everything (The Moon). Because of this, he was picked on by everyone in town (Judgement).

Even with all the teasing and mockery, the boy was not dissuaded in the least from returning to the towns people, his teachers, and even the police, with wild stories about the town going to waste and world destruction (The Tower).

One autumn, the towns people had had enough and decided to take things into their own hands (The Magician).  They plotted together to come up with a plan to change the boy’s ways and make him stop (Death) with all the horrible tales of death and destruction.

For Halloween, they created a haunted pumpkin field and tricked him into visiting late one night (The Fool) with the intent of teaching the boy him a lesson (The Hierophant). They they tempted him into the pumpkin patch with promises of listening ears (The Devil) and caught him in a trap and strung him up (The Hanged Man), forcing him to stay the night in the haunted pumpkin patch with all the scary decorations and frightening noises.

It was a horrible, terrifying experience for the boy and when he was released, he ran home to tell his mother of what he’d experienced (The Empress).

His mother was enraged by what she heard, and she plotted her revenge.  On Halloween night, she showed her true colors (The High Priestess) and revealed herself as a witch.

She cast a curse upon the town (The Chariot), seizing control of the fate of each and every person that tortured her son, and sentenced each of them to a lifetime of night terrors (Justice).  And as the people of the town became more and more sleep deprived, the prophesy that her son had tried so hard to warn the towns people about came to fruition. The town truly began to waste away as some trying to outrun the curse and others passing away… until none remained.

DECK USED: HALLOWEEN TAROT MAJORS ONLY DECK

Countdown to Samhain – Part 2

I discovered this little challenge on Instagram and thought I’d give it a go.  Since it’s not demanding a card pull each day, I thought it might be fun to use it for a couple of my Pagan’s Perspective posts instead of adding it to my daily rotations.

Countdown to Samhain #samhaincountdown

16 Halloween Tarot
Two of Imps – Make good choices using the knowledge and advice that they give me.
The Chariot – Take control of your life and steer it in the direction you want to go while allowing my ancestors to help guide me.
The Hanged Man – Make time along the way to see others perspectives and try and see my ancestors perspectives as well.

17  Off and on around this time of year some things happen.  But it comes with the territory, as the veil between the spirit world and the living one is very thin at this time of year. I am rather certain I had a visitation from my father last Samhain season, and it was not a positive influence for me.  I’ve made precautions this year in the hope of it not being a repeat occurrence, but I would never forbid him from visiting entirely unless it became a repetitive issue.

18  As with the answer to the tarot card question asked in part one of this series, I don’t really have a suit that I associate specifically with this time of year.  I think this might be because I see the suits as elements rather than seasons.  When I am required to assign seasons to the suits, the Autumn season is earth/pentacles. But that is not limited to just Samhain, but the entire Autumn/harvest season.

19  Pumpkins (obviously) and other gourds.  Apples.  Dried orange and lemon rinds.  Dried grasses and grains.  Chrysanthemums, wormwood, and thistle.

Halloween Tarot20 Listen to me… Listen to your inner knowledge… Listen to your intuition. Just listen and know.

This card is about making sure that I’m listening to my inner voice, inner knowledge, and intuition.  These elements are things not based in logic or fact, and yet have the ability to guide you forward with true purpose toward your soul’s completion. 

In acknowledging that my ancestors and guides speak to me through the signs and signals that my intuition and inner knowledge use to guide me, this essentially “doubles down” on the importance of making sure I’m not turning a blind eye to those messages, regardless of the fact that they come from a “less logical” source.

Halloween Tarot21 Stop judging yourself so harshly. It’s okay to be tired, it’s okay to take breaks, it’s okay to take a little time for yourself.  

You work hard and do a lot for other people as well.  There’s nothing wrong with taking a little time for yourself when you need it… or even when you don’t feel like you need it, but just want it.

Don’t allow your father’s voice and judgements rule your life and take away your joy, or enjoyment of the world around you.

Look at all the good you’ve done and stop judging yourself on the little things that don’t matter.

22  Yep.  I used to love dressing up and going to parties with my sister. These days we don’t party all that much, but for the past few years I’ve still decorated for Halloween and handed out candy.  And, as outlined in part one of this little quiz, I obviously also celebrate Samhain.

23  Every year around Samhain I watch two movies without fail. The 1968 version of the Night of the Living Dead and the 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

24  IMG_7078

IMG_7076

Halloween Tarot25 I need to stop trying to close myself off emotionally from others that are just trying to help (Four of Ghosts).

I can do this by making sure I stay in contact with Gideon, and by making sure that I express my feelings to him honestly so that he can help in understanding what I’m feeling and other people’s feelings and reactions, as well as guide me in making better emotional choices.

26  Not this year. For the first time since I moved into the building I live in, I won’t be answering the door to trick or treaters this year. So… I won’t be dressing up.   Altho… I might wear a pair of bunny ears to the farm in the morning when I go.  Just for the hell of it.

Halloween Tarot27 The shadow aspect of myself being revealed here is my “Not enough, never enough” shadow. 

This shadow rose up pretty heavy and strong last year, and I’ve noticed a slight resurgence of it this year as well. It makes it difficult to ask for help, and that is something I struggle with year round but usually becomes even more prominent during this time of year when I’m trying to get prepped for the holiday rush.

Halloween Tarot28 Take time to learn how to step away from the scarcity mindset.

This was an interesting solution to giving love to the shadow mentioned above, and yet… it also makes sense to me.  

The thing is, that when I am feeling like nothing is ever enough, I’m also feeling like I can’t catch up and can’t get ahead.  That scarcity is right there on my heels, nipping at me along the way.  It drives he harder and pushes me to do more. But it also feeds that shadow’s feelings of inadequacy.  

Therefore, if I want to give this shadow some love, easing those feelings of scarcity is a must.

29  I don’t think that I have a favorite song for the season, actually.  Although… Enya maybe, as far as music in general goes. Her music always feels just right at this time of year.

30  Halloween Tarot

IntentionPage of Imps – Exploring and expanding upon my interests and curiosities. This summer, I had the intention on doing a lot of different little craft projects and inspirations.

ObstacleStrength – The problem? Was that you can only put so much on your plate at once.  I allowed myself to put myself first instead of the business, which for me is pretty huge. 

Best OutcomeSix of Bats Rx – Staying put. I didn’t really advance all that much in my business over the spring and summer months. My heart just wasn’t into it and I was far too focused on my own self care and life stable and balanced.  As a result, there was very little progress and very little change.  Which honestly?  Isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because it didn’t damage my business or cause a backslide and/or loss as a result.

31 Thinning Veil Tarot Spread by TwisttheLeaf

Morning Bonus Read – Trick Or Treat Halloween Spread

Because I am trying to show a bit more of my decks this month, as I have a whole LOT of October/Halloween/Samhain decks, I’m doing a few extra bonus reads over the month.  This is one of those extra readings.

Halloween Tarot Spread - Carnival at the End of the World Tarot

Card To Represent Something That Is Tricking Me
The Last Judgement and The Devil

These cards are a reminder that my values and self worth have absolutely nothing to do with my control (or the lack thereof) over my addictions. It’s like equating your self worth with the cleanliness of your home or the color of your shoes. They have nothing to do with each other, but sometimes we (as humans) get all these things mixed up in our head and emotions.

How I’m Being Fooled By This
Page of Cups

This tendency to equate one’s self worth with how we feel about a flaw or issue that we’re currently involved in is a sign of emotional immaturity. This isn’t a huge surprise, as I have spent a good portion of my life burying my emotions and muffling them behind thick walls.  Now that I’m opening up to them  more fully and willingly, little stumbling blocks like these are bound to crop up.

How Can I Gain a Clear Perspective and Stop Being Tricked?
The Sun

Allow yourself to have some fun.  You’re not hurting anyone,  not even yourself.  So there’s no harm in it. That in itself rouses a bit of guilt, although that has more to do with being raised that fun is a waste of time.  I know this is not to be the case, and The Sun card here in this spread indicates I need to remember to embrace my fun rather than allowing the past to influence me into shying away from it.

Card To Represent a Treat In My Life
Queen of Cups

Being able to better connect with and understand people on an emotional level than I have in the past.  I’ve noticed this a few times recently in speaking with others and how I relate to them.   What I used to see as my empathy for others I have now come to realize was far more logic based thane emotion based.

A Way That I Can Fully Embrace This Treat
Knave of Wands

Continue to make the exploration of emotional growth a priority and pour my interest and attention into it.  This might be difficult during the holiday rush that is quickly approaching.  But, ten weeks from now, that chaotic time will come to an end, and I’ll be able to delve back into that exploration with both feet.

Something I Don’t Yet Understand About This Treat
Six of Coins

It’s going to change how I relate to others that are more fortunate than myself, and others that are fare less fortunate than myself.  It’ll give me a new perspective on balance, and on my personal involvement with that balance.   I’m not there yet, but just as I understand empathy more now than I did before, so too will this come into focus as tome goes on.

DECK USED:  CARNIVAL AT THE END OF THE WORLD TAROT