fortune telling

Morning Bonus Read – Difficulties

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Difficulties Tarot Spread - The Lunatic Tarot

What is difficult right now?
Ace of Wands

Keeping my motivation up and running when there’s so much to do and so little time.  It becomes frustrating to feel continuously like you’re falling behind only to have a moment of “Oh, I’m caught up” show up now and then for a moment long enough to get one deep breath before the race continues.

What can I learn from this struggle?
Judgement

Sometimes it makes me feel like I want to just set it all aside and walk away, and then I remember why I’m doing all this and it helps me stay the course. It’s about independence, and being able to live my life on my terms how I want to live.

What will help me move through it?
Knight of Wands atop Seven of Swords

Strategy and cunning carried forward on my desires for what I want to accomplish.  This is about determination and willpower, and the clever cunning to find a way to do it no matter what.  My skill at making sure I come out on top, even while being carried through the most violent of rapids, is what will help me move through this time of lack of motivation and struggle with my inspirational spark.

What do I have to look forward to?
Four of Cups

Soon enough you’ll have time to rest and recover and meditate and enjoy all that off time again that you were struggling to get used to in the summer.  And… you’ll probably struggle with again when the opportunity returns.

DECK USED:  THE LUNATIC TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Personal Expectations

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week, let’s chat about our expectations of ourselves, especially during this busy time of the year.”

Ouija Playing Cards by HasbroWhat is one expectation I have of myself right now that is unhealthy?

Ten of Diamonds atop King of Hearts – That I can shoulder everything and not crack emotionally under the pressure like a dropped egg.  I am not the King of Hearts, and I do not do well under too much pressure, especially if my emotions become involved.  With my emotions at a higher level due to the emotional growth I’ve been fostering all spring and summer and the vulnerability that new growth has created, there is a risk of that shell being even more fragile than usual.

What is one expectation I have of myself right now that is healthy?

Ten of Hearts – Allowing my emotions to have free reign rather than being neatly boxed off and walled up for the next five to six weeks.  This seems counter intuitive to what is said in the advice above about what is unhealthy, and yet what this indicates is not that it is opposing advice, but rather that I need to find a better way of dealing with these emotions than closing them up in a dark cage in the basement.

How should I shift the unhealthy expectation into a healthy one?

King of Clubs – Use your drive and vision to motivate you into finding and using this better way of doing things.  New methods for old habits are hard for everyone, but you need to remember what you’re goals are… and that you can’t reach them unless you make these changes for the better.

Where should I look for support to make that change in my expectations?

Six of Clubs atop Queen of Clubs –  From those in your life that both admire you and inspire you.  With a foundation of admiration and moral support under your feet, you can take the inspiration that they create in you and carry it forward, even when things feel new, unsteady, vulnerable, or difficult.  That support system is there for you when you need it as long as you’re willing to reach for it.

DECK USED: OUIJA PLAYING CARDS BY HASBRO

Morning Bonus Read – Self Gratitude

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Edgar Allan Poe Playing Cards - Gratitude Tarot Spread

How can I practice self-gratitude for my mind?

Seven of Clubs – Grace and music, rhythm and measure.  Harmony within passionate pursuits. Treat yourself to some quiet time with the music you love to experience on more than just an audible level. You have a variety of synesthesia chosen playlists to choose from to take your listening of music to a new level, maybe it’s time to consider using them for more than just listening, but meditation as well.

How can I practice self-gratitude for my heart?

Two of Diamonds – Don’t forget about balance.  Don’t leave it behind and believe you can ignore the need for it just to pick it back up once the holiday rush is over. Delving into the holiday rush and finding what pleasure you can in the whirlwind doesn’t mean abandoning moderation and measure, nor that you don’t have to still find some kind of balance along the way.

How can I practice self-gratitude for my soul?

Six of Diamonds – Self deception is not generosity or being kind to yourself.  Sometimes the truth hurts, but it is only through truth that you find what you need.  Be kind to yourself, but also be honest with yourself.  In doing this you both honor your soul as well as practice self-gratitude through the respect you give yourself and the moral compass that directs your feet along your path.

DECK USED: EDGAR ALLAN POE PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Releasing Chaos

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The Ellis Deck - Shed That Shit Tarot Spread

What is disrupting my peace of mind?
Two of Pentacles atop Eight of Swords

I spent a good deal of time in the fall trying to run away from my thoughts and feelings about switching from the emotional growth of the summer to the responsibilities and overwhelm of the holiday rush.  Unfortunately, this created a bit of a procrastination situation that has developed into a harder time with balancing work and home now that the holiday rush has arrived.

Not being as prepared as I’d like to be (even though it’s my own damned fault) is definitely disrupting my peace of mind.

Why am I still allowing this to affect me?
Five of Cups

Because I regret fucking up. I’m experiencing the repercussions of the procrastination I indulged in during the fall. I do understand that I’m going to need to let this disappointment in myself go, though, as it will only cause me another hurdle during an already difficult and busy time.

How can I release what no longer serves me?
Five of Swords atop The Fool

The foundation of success lies in letting go and freeing myself to fully dive into the enthusiasm of the rush. There is pleasure and adventure in the process if I allow it… so let go of the tension and the tightness and the self-recriminations, and dive in.

DECK USED: THE ELLIS DECK TAROT 5TH EDITION

Morning Bonus Read – Situational Projections

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“There is a LOT of energy in the world this week. We are all carrying and absorbing a lot of anxiety, relief, uncertainty, etc, I’d guess. It’s crucial during these kinds of times to try to pay attention to our intuition underneath the anxiety, although this can be tricky to do. This week, pick one (or more) situation in your life that you need to make a decision on this month, and do a situation-action-outcome reading on it. The goal here is to get clarity and give our intuition (or spiritual guidance) a voice even in the midst of uncertainty and anxiety and big emotions.”

Bag of Bones Playing CardsI chose to allow the cards to choose the situation discussed in the reading.  Therefore, the cards pulled for “situation” are used to describe the situation that becomes the topic of the reading as a whole.

Situation No. 1

Situation – Two of Spades atop Ten of Hearts – Struggling with decision-making when it comes to working on my emotional growth. I’m so used to using logic and discounting my emotions that sometimes it’s extremely difficult for me to allow my emotions to filter into the decision making process. This means that I end up stuck and stagnant rather than moving forward. This is a problem I struggled with through the summer months and feels… unfinished.

Action – Two of Clubs – Taking the time to plan and strategize rather than just ignoring the problem or moving forward without a plan. I haven’t quite figured out how to do this yet.  I think it has to do with making sure I’m focusing on where I want to go, though, instead of becoming distracted by that feeling of lack of progress and ending up stuck there.

Outcome – King of Diamonds – Taking control of my goals and being able to accomplish them from the rooted place of a stable foundation.  The King of Diamonds indicates that allowing my emotions to have a say in my decision making process won’t steer me off track regardless of the fact it feels like it might.

Situation No. 2

Situation – Ten of Clubs – Overburdening myself is a situation that I find myself in a lot.  Like… A LOT.  Although, this summer I did make a few changes that seemed to help a good deal with my cycles of burnout and recovery.I managed to make it through all of the summer without a single burnout episode, actually, which is kind of unheard of.   But now with the holiday rush upon me, I know that the old tendency to burn myself out until I’m not just overburdened but no longer able to function is on the rise.

Action – Nine of Diamonds – Pretending everything is all right and good and that I’m in a good place instead of looking at the problem.  This is my main way of functioning through discomfort, whether that discomfort is pain or exhaustion, or any other number of situations.  The problem is?  When I do this it creates a well of closeted and walled off emotions, because I have to numb my insides for it to work.

Outcome – Four of Hearts – Delays due to dejection are the results of this unhealthy way of dealing with my tendency to overburden myself.  As I am susceptible to clinical depression, dejection is not a safe thing for me as it allows the slope down into the pit of depression to become slippery, and the more slippery that slope becomes then the faster and easier I slide down into the pit.  This reading is a warning about what not to do… and what to watch out for.

DECK USED: BAG OF BONES PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Holidays Are Coming

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week, talk with your divination tools about how to prepare for the upcoming holiday season. This is a crazy year, and the holidays are often a crazy time even during normal years! Let’s see what we can do now to be prepared and show up as our best selves.”

Cartomancy Playing Card ReadingWhat are things I need to be aware of/look out for in the upcoming holiday season?

Three of Clubs – You need to make sure that you’re staying focused on where you want to go and the goals you want to accomplish. There’s been a lot of distraction (especially mental distraction) in your life lately, and awareness the direction you need to go in and having a clear plan to get there is the best way to make sure that this holiday season goes smoothly.

King of Spades (Lily) atop Three of Spades – You need to keep an eye out for delays through the winter months that might cause you to feel emotional upheaval as a result.  It’s possible, especially due to the current economy and pandemic, that the holiday rush will be sluggish or slow this year. This is something you need to keep an eye on and strategize on what you can to counter act when possible.

What are things I should do now to physically prepare for the holidays?

Five of Clubs atop Ten of Hearts (Dog) – Don’t allow conflict with loved ones to hold things back.  Make sure you are getting enough exercise and outside time in nature to keep harmony in place.  You know how cranky you get when you don’t get enough time grounding in the woods.

Queen of Spades (Bouquet) – Take care of your mental health. This is a reiteration that you need to make sure you’re getting out into nature when you need that grounding and exercise. Fresh air and time among the trees is good for the body and the mind, and if you want to keep yourself in a positive space physically and mentally, you need to give yourself what you need to make that happen.

What are some things I should do now to emotionally prepare for the holidays?

Nine of Diamonds (Coffin) – Don’t allow the money situation this holiday season to get you down.  It’s okay if you’re not making as much as you want to make as long as you’re bringing in as much as you need. With everything going on in the world, being able to be comfortable is enough. Prepare yourself now for this possibility. Don’t set your heart on astounding profit and it’ll help keep your depression in check.

Jack of Clubs (Whip) – Get your shit together, motivationally speaking. It will create less of a feeling of conflict later on if you can get yourself together now.  Think of how much better you feel when you’ve managed to be prepared for stressful situations rather than when you aren’t and have to work on the fly without any previous preparation available.

What are some boundaries I should put in place for myself now as we ramp up to the holidays?

Queen of Hearts (Stork) – You need to adjust how you view (and provide yourself) self care. You are not going to make it through the chaos of the holiday season if you’re unwilling to give yourself the care you need to make it through.  This is not limited to the walks in the woods mentioned above, but also concerns your other self care methods as well.

Ace of Hearts (Man) – Don’t allow yourself to close off entirely from Gideon during the holidays. As busy as it might be, you need that connection with him in order to stay healthy and happy.  He is also your support system for the new emotions and emotional intelligence you’ve been working on for the past year, so when these new emotions well up, you need to make sure you are going to him for help in sorting them out and easing their intensity.

What is one thing I should focus on in order to show up to the holidays as my best self?

Ten of Clubs (Bear) – As strong as you are? You’re not invincible. You can’t carry it all on your shoulders and you can’t “be the boss” every second of every day.  If you don’t release your grip a bit now and then, you can’t find balance or find that best self that resides within you.

DECK USED:  SANDS CASINO DECK c.1990s w/ HAND DRAWN LENORMAND IMAGES