#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021

Support Structures Are There For A Reason

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Today’s meditation was non-existent yet again.  Just too much to do, too many places to go, and when I finally got a moment to stop and take a breath, the nap was way more needed so I went that route instead.

Whimsical Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seeds of a beginning in the areas of one’s intellect, education, aspirations, and communication with others. This often translates into themes to do with new areas of research, new methods of communication or new people to communicate with, new jobs or projects where you are learning something new, etc.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the moon phases that are etched into the blade, which for me represents a specific period of time (29.5 days, to be exact).  As my readings are so often predictive and this one feels the same, what I see here is in reference to the car accident I had on Wednesday and the great deal of communication going on between myself, the insurance company, my medical support team, and my attorney.

Combined with the (oh so very cute as fuck) Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a personal message indicating that there is going to be about a month of pretty intense communication before anything gets resolved.  Which… is fine.  I’m not particularly fond of spending time dealing with all these people, but I have a good support structure in place and I know that with some patience everything will get dealt with and cared for.

DECK USED:  WHIMSICAL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: If my shadow could talk, what would it say to me?

Otto Schmidt Tarot

Reading Summary: My shadow would say “I want to be happy and secure (Ten of Pentacles) and a part of the process and path (Ace of Wands). Give your inner critic (Judgement Rx) a break (Four of Swords) and make me a priority (King of Wands).”

Take Away:  My shadow does not want to be put back in the box and buried in the dark.  It is reaching for the light just as I am in my efforts to rise out of my depression, except in my shadow’s case it was imprisoned for much, much longer. It wants to work on finding balance and happiness and a path forward that is less about nagging at the self and self-abuse, and more about prioritizing self-care… including caring for the shadow within.

DECK USED:  OTTO SCHMIDT TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What area of my life is requiring too much sacrifice?

Whimsical TarotReading Summary: Too much “leaning into” my sense of “my way or the highway” (Five of Rods).  Don’t be impulsive or over confident (Knight of Rods), but instead take things slow and make sure you aren’t being fooled into a false sense of security (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away: I’ve been over-compensating in trying to pretend I’m not worried or stressed concerning the business and the changes that I’m adjusting to in that area.  Although It’s good to be alert and aware, and keep track of things, I need to step back and be less invested here… and less stressed and worried as a result.

By allowing myself to sink too deeply into these issues, I’m becoming too rigid and may find it difficult to adapt when I need to or discern between what is real and what is all in my head.

DECK USED:  WHIMSICAL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

As I mentioned above, I took a nap.  It’s an orders day, so that’s not something I would normally allow myself, but I was so tired when I got home from the body shop and doctor that I let myself nap for about two hours.

Anxiety Is Not Premonition, It’s Just the Scales Teetering As They Settle

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Again, no meditation today.  My day pretty much got shot to shit between the car accident this morning and dealing with the insurance company all day, getting appointments set up… and unending repetitive trips to the bathroom.  So yeah.  No meditation today.

Paulina Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s spirituality, interests, and passionate pursuits. Contrary to the greatly misunderstood use of the word “passionate”, this suit is probably not about sex unless you are a sex addict.  Rather, it is about those things that light a fire of inspiration within your soul and the Queen of the suit is the energy that fosters that spark in others and encourages it to grow.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is the color scheme, which loudly speaks of autumn to me and autumn speaks to me of experience.  We follow through the spring and summer, gaining experience, weathering sudden storms and blistering heat, the earth gives of itself throughout this period and when fall comes it comes with experience riding its coattails.   The Queen is also experienced, and she uses that experience to help inspire and guide others. 

Combined with today’s Thera-Pets card, these cards are a reminder that not all anxiety is useful. Sometimes anxiety is just anxiety and there’s definitely nothing premonition-associated about it.  For me, right now, this is definitely the case.  As I am emerging from the darkness of depression’s pit and into the light, I’m finding that I’ve been experiencing some intermittent anxiety issues over the past week or two. I’ve come to realize that these bouts of anxiety are not situational but rather, they are a part of my recovery and finding balance once again.

DECK USED:  PAULINA TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What card best represents my shadow self at this time?

Waterfall Tarot - Page of PentaclesPage of Pentacles – Finding the way forward sometimes takes a little trial and error and a lot of slow steps and occasional stops along the way.  The importance is in staying focused on where you want to go, and what you need to learn in order to get there.

My shadow self has a lot to learn, but in being acknowledged, it is slowly beginning to “come around” to being a student in life instead of hiding away from it or allowing trauma to keep it suppressed.

There is no wallowing, only a need for encouragement and a guiding light to continue to follow in order to allow that shadow self to rise to the surface and better integrate with reality.  Being acknowledged has done wonders in this area for my shadow self once the realization finally sank in that it wasn’t going to be a temporary project, but something I planned on putting a lot of time and effort into.

DECK USED:  WATERFALL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Does art hurt society in any way?

Paulina TarotReading Summary: Art inspires people, sparking passions for new ideas and directions (Two of Wands), but it can also can make people very defensive (Nine of Wands). At times it can create inspiration for great ideas and new ways of communicating with others (Ace of Swords).

Take Away: The thing about art is that it’s subjective.  To one person a piece may seem inspired and brilliant, relative and breathtaking.  To another person that same piece may seem disturbing, disruptive, insulting, or disgusting. 

It isn’t so much the art that hurts society, but rather individual reactions to how that art is perceived and how people react to it as a result.  So  in a way, it can indeed be hurtful to society if a large enough cross section of society reacts negatively to it…. the real question is whether that’s the art’s fault, or the fault of the individuals reacting to it.

DECK USED:  PAULINA TAROT

Random Prompt from Pagan Sanctum on Discord
Question: What is your greatest strength and greatest weakness?

Barbara Walker Tarot

Greatest Strength – Queen of Wands atop The Moon – My ability to use my determination and passionate nature to push through obstacles, fears, and doubts that may arise. This doesn’t mean not entertaining the topic of these fears and doubts, but rather turning them around into something useful.

Greatest Weakness – Two of Pentacles atop Four of Swords Rx – I am a slave driver when it comes to my own personal responsibilities and endeavors. I don’t often allow myself the rest I need, and in fact struggle with figuring out how to rest when the opportunity is presented, which means I often bypass the opportunity rather than using it to recover.

DECK USED:  BARBARA WALKER TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

My self kindness today is in getting some of tomorrow’s work done today.  I have a lot of things to get done tomorrow like going to get an estimate on the damage of my car, insurance calls, and a visit to the doctor. By getting a little of the work done today that needs to be done tomorrow, it will ease my stress a bit tomorrow as a result.

Don’t Be Impulsive When Torn

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Today’s meditation was skipped, but I plan on doing it before bed tonight.  There was a reason but for the life of me I can’t remember what the hell it was.  I think I just couldn’t concentrate with all the noise outside.  They’re starting to work on the property across the back alley from me and I need to work on getting used to the sounds coming from over there… especially since it’s probably going to be an all spring/summer/fall experience.

A Siren's Melody Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of struggling with difficult decisions or being torn in two directions at the same time and needing to find a way to choose.   It’s all about being in your head and the choices that are sometimes a struggle to make, especially when overthinking and not looking outward for answers.

I see that little person among the chaos of color and shape, and it reminds me of the chaos in one’s brain when confronted with two choices and unable to untangle one’s moral compass and logic enough to find the right choice to make.

Although this isn’t something that happens to me often, it has happened a few times, and I’ve always hated that tangled mess feeling that clouds the brain during these moments.   What I see in this card is that the person struggling with this issue has become surrounded by it, and the way out is murky at best.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that when in the middle of these moments of indecision, it’s okay to slow down and take your time.  It’s okay not to make that decision right this second.  Instead, take some time, move slowly,  and see if things don’t become clearer if you move a little slower.

DECK USED:  A SIREN’S MELODY TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What good am I creating that is not directly visible?

Tarot of the Old Path

Reading Summary: Generosity paid forward in the past (Six of Pentacles atop Six of Cauldrons) has created joy for others (Three of Cauldrons) and helped sustain them in times of melancholy (Four of Cauldrons).

Take Away: This is about my business and the joy that I create for others through the pieces that I make and spread throughout the world.  It brings me a great deal of pleasure to create beautiful jewelry and send it off to those that purchase from  me for those others to enjoy. Even though I very rarely see the results of other’s receiving these items, I take pleasure in knowing that these items are going to someone that will appreciate them, find joy in them, and that in wearing them it lifts them up and makes them feel good.  I put my intentions towards this end into each and every piece I create.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE OLD PATH

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon where I am physically over the week ahead?

A Siren's Melody TarotReading Summary: Use the creme (Nine of Wands). Ask for advice (The Hierophant). Be kind (Queen of Cups).

Take Away: Okay so this is totally going to be a TMI reading, apparently.  SO… when I was on my last hike, my fucking underwear had some weird thing going on with the seam and I’ve ended up with an abrasion/irritation rash at the crease of my inner thigh.

It’s unpleasant as hell and the advice here is to first and foremost defend against it getting worse.  That’s where the creme comes in, as well as being very picky about my boxer-briefs for the next little while.  The second advice is to seek help, and I already have an appointment with the doc later this week for other stuff (blood tests, et al) and will ask him his advice while I’m there.  The third step here is in kindness.  It’s an indication I need to treat this rash gingerly and not be impatient or neglectful concerning its care.

DECK USED:  A SIREN’S MELODY TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’m staying up late to get a little extra time with Gideon tonight.

Anxiety Is Not Intuition

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Today’s meditation was supposed to be eighteen minutes, but only managed to get through about half of it before the phone rang and I ended up talking to Ms B for about an hour about what dialysis entails and how to talk to Mr R about it.  Hopefully it won’t be necessary, but if his next blood tests come back looking like crap, that might be the direction they’re going.

The Shimmering Veil Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, education, logic, and commutation with others.  This can often translate into needing to take an experienced and practical view, the need to either give to another or to receive advice from someone more experienced than yourself, and can be an indication of someone that is very logic driven.

So I’m preparing to do another trip over the border soon, and I’m having a bit of anxiety about it.  Nothing serious and, honestly? I just did it not long ago and everything went fine.  Now that I know the procedure, it should go even more smoothly the next time.

That said?  I’m still feeling those twinges and the Thera-Pets card for today is a good reminder that anxiety is not one of my intuition’s methods of communication and never has been. I need to channel the strength of the Queen of Wands and the experience I have now under my belt, and stop listening to those little twinges that are inappropriate for the situation.

DECK USED:  THE SHIMMERING VEIL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Thinking back to a time when I suffered a loss of stability in my life, did I allow myself to grow from it, or did I stagnate?

The Star Tarot

Reading Summary: Growth and betterment (Princess of Pentacles) thru gratitude (Nine of Pentacles) and finding direction (Three of Wands).

Take Away: I seem to suffer a “loss of stability” in one way or another pretty damned regularly.  It’s a part of my life path that has been consistent throughout my life and it is through gratitude for what I still have and the ability to pick a direction and keep moving and adapt that I am the man that I am today.  This is a lesson on personal growth, one that I learn again and again each time events that try to break me down come about.  The key is to keep one’s eye on moving forward and growing, improving and becoming better through the trials that are scattered upon our path.

DECK USED:  THE STAR TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I at physically at this time?

The Shimmering Veil TarotReading Summary: There is a risk of repercussions afoot (Justice), but you can seize control (Five of Swords) and soar (Ace of Swords) if you step up (Emperor).

Take Away: Yeah so um… Where I am at this time physically is at the cusp between healthy and unhealthy, hovering there on the line and able to fall either way depending upon the choices I make from this point forward. 

This is primarily about my eating habits of late and the (mostly unhealthy) foods I’ve been consuming.  If I battle my urges for these unhealthy snacks and meals and take control to seas a different path, I will recover smoothly from my unwise decisions and be able to turn things around before it goes too far.

DECK USED:  THE SHIMMERING VEIL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a break to eat instead of saying “I’ll just do this one more thing first” and putting it off.  I know this sounds like a pretty minor thing, but considering how tempting it was to play the “just one more thing” game today, I think it’s pretty significant that I managed to resist the urge.

Still Moving

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Today’s meditation was just over eighteen minutes long and it was another of the self-guided meditations using my water drops music and my newly learned mantra techniques from the Oak app.  I extended the bells in my interval timer as well to stretch my time in each position of my piriformis stretching for the longer period in meditation.  It seemed to work really well for me and although there was a lot of resistance to actually doing the meditation, once I was doing it?  It went smoothly.

The Last Unicorn Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Knight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, manifestations, home life, and health. Being of the Pentacles suit, this often translates into a slow but steady progress sustained through determination.

I find the Thera-Pets card that was paired with today’s card of the day to be extremely fitting.  Sometimes, when we’re working on getting where we want to go, it can feel like things should be moving faster.  As a result, we take this slow progress as a failure.  Or, at least, I know that there are times when I do this.

The Knight of Pentacles combined with today’s Thera-Pets card is a reminder that any progress is still progress.  Even if you have to take things in baby steps and do a tiny bit at a time.  Even if some days your energy is so low that all you do is plan instead of act. It’s still progress.  You’re still moving.  That’s what’s important.

DECK USED:  THE LAST UNICORN TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: What blessing do I need to ask from the universe right now?

Tarot Art Nouveau

 Reading Summary: More hope, more connection (The Star), and more patience for my growth (Seven of Coins). The ability to more easily be present in the moment, instead of worrying about the past or the future (Four of Cups).

There is also a secondary message here threaded through the blue in the cards that encourages sating my need to spend some alone time (Four of Cups) in nature (Seven of Pentacles), and use that time to seek out stronger connections with my spiritual path through my bond with the earth (The Star).

Take Away:  What I need to ask for from the universe is a stronger bond with feelings of hope and connection with the world around me through mindfulness and reflection while practicing patience in concern to my growth so that I will be allowed to grow at my own pace instead of the pace I think I should be moving at.

The secondary message is not so much about what I need to ask for, but an answer in how to find what I need.

DECK USED:  TAROT ART NOUVEAU

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #2
Question: My spirituality and intuition both require being more present in the moment. How can I go about making that happen?

The Last Unicorn TarotReading Summary: Take time healing your wounds from the past (Six of Cups). Don’t push yourself so hard you become overwhelmed with the process (Ten of Wands Rx) and you will be much happier as will those around you (Three of Cups).

Take Away: So many reminders lately to make sure I am practicing patience.  I know it’s about the recovery and how, because I’m feeling better lately, I’m at risk of falling into old habits of piling on so many things to do that I start the cycle of burnout and recovery all over again.  That is what is being referenced here, as well.

The cards here are indicating that by repeating this cycle I’m making more than myself miserable and I need to practice patience with myself and my healing (not just my recovery, but my slowly developing healing of events in my path).

Patience will breed mindfulness, as moving slower gives you more time to linger and smell the roses, yeah?

DECK USED:  THE LAST UNICORN TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I remembered to put on lip balm before bed, which is something I used to do pretty often but stopped sometime in the past few months for some reason. Because of allergies, I often breathe through my mouth in my sleep and without the lip balm, my lips end up cracked and chapped a result.

Keep Going

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IMG_9948Today’s meditation was a little different than the norm because I didn’t use a timer at all, nor a guide.  I think the meditation was about a half hour long, but I’m not entirely sure. Instead of using these things, I chose to simply lay quietly and take time to breathe and listen to the world going about it’s business beyond my windows and walls. I did some small stretching, but nothing major, it was more just about being quiet and not allowing my brain to go through its normal constant litany of what needs done and what not to forget before I manage to write it all down.

Waterfall Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of leaving behind (and/or escaping) unhealthy or untenable situations for something better. Where the Eight of Cups is a decision based on an emotional reaction, in the Six of Swords the leaving is about practicality, and is rational and planned.

With how many changes have been going on in my life lately, from the climb out of depression’s pit to the shifts in my business due to the pandemic’s ever changing requirements, the Six of Swords is a fitting card.

Changes bring with them a sense of instability and uncertainty more often than not, and I’ve felt a good deal of that over the past few weeks as I adjusted (yet again) to the changes and adjustments that needed to be made for my business, and continued my climb out of the dark of depression into the light.   I am still climbing, but I can feel the improvement with each day that passes.  That improvement is still in baby steps, but those steps are perceptible now.

The combination of the Six of Swords with today’s Thera-Pets card is a reassurance that it is going to work out.  I’m headed in the right direction, I’m doing everything I can to move things forward and keep them going in the right direction.

Keep doing what you’re doing to keep things moving in a healthy direction and everything’s going to work out just fine.

DECK USED:  WATERFALL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: Today I plant my seeds of growth knowing that…

Very Little Tarot

Reading Summary: …moving forward with your emotional growth (Page of Cups) has the potential to be a harrowing experience (Nine of Swords). But keep in mind that it’s something you really want to do (Ace of Wands), even if you have to stumble a bit along the way (The Fool) and feel like you’re fucking up now and then (Five of Coins).

Take Away:  There are times when trying to learn about and learn how to handle my own emotions makes me feel like a fucking idiot. It’s often a struggle and can be really disheartening, it can also lead to a bit of anxiety now and then when I can’t find the words to express an emotion I’ve yet to actually put a name to. During these times of struggle, I need to remember that the emotional growth I’m seeking is something I want… very much.  More than enough to deal with the discomfort of growing pains along the way.

DECK USED:  VERY LITTLE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Waterfall TarotReading Summary: Don’t get distracted (Three of Cups Rx) or allow yourself to become stagnant (Death Rx). Keep your eye on the prize and stay focused.  You’re not out of the woods yet, but you’re getting there (Page of Swords).

Take Away: My depression has been the focus of my readings for some time and goddamn if it doesn’t feel like beating a dead horse some times. But… It’s not done yet.  I’m still climbing.  I’m still seeking level ground and it’s going to take a bit longer to get there. The cards here indicate I need to make sure I stay focused on that goal and not allow distractions to turn into stagnancy that will hold me back or cause regression.

DECK USED:  WATERFALL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I allowed myself to do things at my own pace today instead of pushing my ass to get going at a faster speed. I noticed this because I did feel the urge to push, but consciously made the choice to pause and breathe, then keep on at that slower and more relaxed pace.