Kindness Isn’t a Roadblock

I’ve managed to fall behind again… and I can’t remember whether I meditated on the 6th or not. So I’ll leave this empty this time around (and tomorrow too) as I finish up these posts that got started… but never published on the blog.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Queen of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, home life, health, resources, and manifestations.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the way that the woman holds onto the coin/pentacle/disc. She holds that disc much as a woman holds her unborn child when it is still tucked within her womb.

The message here is about nurturing growth.  It’s about the fact that manifestation of those things you want to create will come more smoothly, more healthily, and far easier if you add a bit of nurturing warmth to the process of getting there.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Rising Sign Question
: How does the world around me perceive me right now?

Bosch Tarot

Reading Summary: Easy to work with and align with (Two of Cups), able to lead the way with other’s new emotional investments (Ace of Chalices), the governing body over chaos and conflict (The Emperor) there to save the day when needed (Seven of Swords Rx).  Something within the warmth of the cups cards also indicates that they think I’m nicer than I really am.

Take Away:  Apparently the world around me sees me as understanding and admirable, and more approachable than I realize.  A leader willing to help others and work with others, but able to put my foot down when its needed.  

DECK USED:  BOSCH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my friendships.

Sweeney TarotReading Summary: When you’re feeling lost (Five of Pentacles) and internally chaotic (The Tower Rx), your friends are there to help point the way and lead you forward (King of Wands).

Take Away: The advice here is that I can trust my friends and loved ones to know where I want to go and the ambitions I want to fulfill, and to help nudge me forward and keep me going even when I feel lost in the weeds of my own inner chaos.  Sometimes it can be hard, during those times, to see beyond the inner conflict, but I can safely trust those that love me to help keep me from falling off my desired path entirely.

DECK USED:  SWEENEY TAROT

Confidence and Caution

IMG_7630Today’s meditation was just over eighteen minutes long because I needed a little extra time in my piriformis stretching this morning.  The hike in the rain yesterday was just what I needed I wish I could have stayed out there for hours and hours on end.  But my muscles did not like the hard exertion in the cold rain, nor the sudden heat up of a shower that came after.  So… I’m a bit sore today.

The topic of the guided part of my meditation was about techniques in hearing criticism and dealing with being confronted with anger.  It was about finding a way (in this meditation it was about identifying instead of personalizing) to not soak in what is being said.  Not allowing it to be taken personally.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Page of WandsToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is traditionally a receptive omega energy in the area of one’s passion projects, drive, and inner spark.  Like all the wands, this isn’t about emotions or intelligence, nor eve where a person’s ambitions lie.  Instead, it is about the fiery spark of passion that creates your ambition.  That burning feeling of a spark within that drives us forward.   In the light of a receptive omega energy, this is often about learning something new that strikes your interest and passion, or exploring old passions that have come back into our lives for a breath of new life.

What stands out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card today is the walking stick and the approaching train. The figure in this image looks either highly distracted, or possibly blind considering that the walking stick looks an awful lot like one a blind man might use.  The train has steam billowing out of its chimney indicating it is moving full speed ahead.  The tilt of the man’s head indicates confidence in their progress, and yet the train is clearly coming.

The message in today’s card is about moving forward with confidence… and caution.  You need both in order to succeed.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Moon Question
: Where am I asked to listen to, or follow, my gut feeling?

Ride or Wait Tarot

I split this reading into two questions, because, at least for me? Listening to and actually following are two different things.  You can absolutely listen and decide to do things your own way while taking something else under advisement.  That is difference than actually following through on  information provided.

Where am I asked to listen to my gut feeling?

Queen of Wands and Four of Cups – Don’t allow your uncertainty over what’s going on with this holiday rush to dictate your actions and cause you to retreat into yourself. Instead lean into what you know and have experience with, and apply that to where you want to go.

Where am I asked to follow my gut feeling?

Two of Cups and Page of Swords – Learning new ways to connect with and communicate with others in a helpful way that creates unity and agreement. Expressing your emotions is not your greatest of skills, but there are other ways to build bonds and let people know that you care.

DECK USED:  RIDE OR WAIT TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Cleanse This / Ground This / Release This

Druidcraft TarotCleanseSeven of Pentacles – It’s time to declutter so that you can make sure that there is room for more sustainable long term growth. Mentally, this means keeping your expectations in check. Physically, this means pruning out a few things that are creating distraction.

GroundPrincess of Swords – Again, we look at your expectations. You need to make sure that you’re open to changes and open to new ideas, because things just can’t stay the same all of the time, no matter how much you’d like them to. Clever adaptation will serve you well.  Also, note that her feet are bare upon the ground, which is a reminder to make sure that you’re getting out to bond with nature.

ReleaseFour of Cups – Your lackadaisical attitude and lack of motivation to get on top of things needs to be let go. Don’t be so disenchanted by what’s not happening, but rather look for solutions and act upon them.

DECK USED:  DRUIDCRAFT TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question
: What blessings have I or am I blinding myself to?

Tarot of the Unknown

Reading Summary: The fact that I am bombarded with new ideas all the time (Ace of Wands) is not a bad habit or a disgrace and should not be viewed as a inconvenience (The Beast), but rather it is something I need to embrace (imagery in the Six of Cups).

Take Away: Writing down ideas so I didn’t feel like I’m losing them all one after another when I can’t act on them immediately was a brilliant idea that I can credit to Gid.  But the thing is?  I can write down ideas all damned day and STILL have more to go.  And more.  And more.  I want to do them all and it sometimes messes with me that I can’t.  It used to mess with me even more as I felt super bad when I couldn’t. 

The thing is?  I need to stop looking at this constant trickle of ideas as an inconvenience just because I can’t do them all right now, or might never get to all of them.  They’re still good and just think how drab and boring it would be without them.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE UNKNOWN 1ST EDITION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I think makes a successful life?

Catharsis Tarot

Reading Summary: Trusted bonds with friends (Two of Cups) that help you through the uncertain times (The Moon), and the independence and autonomy (Chariot) to choose your own path forward (The World).

Take Away:  As much as a loner that I am most of the time?  Being alone… truly alone with no one to love or care about? Can be fucking miserable.  I don’t have this problem, and having those few people in my life that I cherish, and that cherish me in turn?  It makes life immeasurably better.

Independence and autonomy are something I feel extremely strongly about.  The ability to choose your own path and make your own decisions is important.  I really can’t imagine that a life could feel successful without this factor.

DECK USED:  CATHARSIS TAROT

Paying Attention

magnetostrictive ultrasonic scalerToday’s meditation was about forty minutes long, and took place at the dentist’s office. I have a really difficult time at the dentist’s office due to my synesthesia. So many of the sounds that take place in that chair are unpleasant on a level that goes far beyond sound.  Some of them aren’t bad, others I don’t have  a reaction to at all.  But there are a few that really make dental work difficult and painful.

For example, the sound of the magnetostrictive ultrasonic scaler, which causes muscle spasms in my left pec which combine with a sensation of a long, thin needle piercing between two of my ribs in the back at an angle to points to exactly where that muscle spasm takes place.   For a moment, this sensation is painful but might cause a gasp before you take a breath and move on.  Over a continuous length of time, it leaves a lasting soreness that carries beyond the drawn out intensity in the moment.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Five of SwordsToday’s draw is the Five of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, or conflict in the area of one’s thoughts, education, intellect, communication, or ambition.  This often comes across in the form of competition, arguments, or can communicate a determination to win no matter what.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the person in the lower left side that is crying in the background, and the fact that the helmet of the main figure in the card covers their eyes.

There is a reminder here to pay attention to what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Are you hurting people and ignoring it, or just ignorant to it?  Why are you not focusing on this aspect? What was the motivation behind whatever hurt this person?  Was there a better way to handle things?

This card’s message today is about being aware of what you’re doing, and those you affect with your actions (or inaction).

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Moon Question
: How can I best work with, or work around, the current vibes?

Dark Wood Tarot

Reading Summary: Stay open to new opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) and reach out and grab them by the balls when they appear to you (Chariot).  Now is not a time to stay comfortable and safe in your nest (Four of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  There’s been a good deal of warning in the cards lately about business being a bit slow this holiday season. The cards here indicate that in order to counteract that, I need to be open to the possibilities and opportunities that may arise, and jump on them immediately rather than hemming and hawing about it as I often end up doing.

DECK USED:  DARK WOOD TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: Is it possible to truly experience anything objectively?

Puppet Theatre TarotReading Summary:  A king on his throne sees the world as his playground (The Emperor), a couple on a beach basking in the sun sees the world as a perfect slice of heaven (The Sun), and someone with the spark of inspiration nipping at their heels sees the world as filled with potential adventures (Knight of Wands).

Take Away: The cards here indicate that it is not possible to truly experience anything with complete objectivity. We can do our best to be objective, but our emotions, our relationships, our history, and our experiences all create a foundation for which other new experiences and perceptions are built on.  There is no such thing as a “clean slate” in humanity, as emotions flavor everything we do, even for amnesiacs.

I agree.

DECK USED:  PUPPET THEATRE TAROT

Failures Are Lessons Too

Today’s meditation was skipped because I ended up out at the farm way longer than normal and then decided to nap instead of do it later in the day.  I’ll do it before bed, though.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Page of SwordsToday’s draw is the Page of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s intellect, education, thoughts and logic, communication, and ambition. This often translates itself into themes that have to do with the eager and diligent student, learning better communication skills or how to adapt your communication methods to others, or delving into one’s thirst for knowledge and curiosity.

What stands out to me in this card is that the guy has apparently cracked himself on the head… perhaps with the hand rake that is lying on the ground at his feet.

Sometimes when we’re learning new things, shit like this happens.  You smack your thumb with a hammer a few times when learning to pound nails.  You trip over roots a few times the first time you go out hiking. Learning new things inherently has a few mishaps involved in the process.

Just remember that that’s okay. It’s okay to try and fail, just keep trying again.  Each failure is a learning experience that can make you better at it the next time.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Sun Question
: Something that could support my creative flow or focus right now.

Global Fusion Intuitive Tarot

Reading Summary: Stop listening to the whispers that say you’re going to lose everything (Four of Pentacles) and instead try to see whatever comes as an adventure (The Fool).  This isn’t an easy choice for you (Two of Swords).

Take Away: Leaning into the perspective that everything is an adventure is not an easy thing for you.  It takes a conscious effort and diligence to remember to continue to lean that way hour after hour and day after day.  But by loosening up the reigns and easing your grip, it will foster your creative flow and focus in a way that this desperate grasp you try to keep on everything staying stable and the same just can’t provide you.

DECK USED:  GLOBAL FUSION INTUITIVE TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What is… blocking my way / distracting my attention / tying my hands

Traditional Manga TarotWhat is blocking my way?

Two of Swords – “Either/or” thinking has been an issue for me a lot this fall and is something I’m still struggling with. It feels as if it has been blocking my way in moving forward through the holiday rush prep as smoothly as I’d have liked, as it keeps popping up again and again. I am aware of it and working at keeping it from taking over, but it just doesn’t seem to want to ease off.

What is distracting my attention?

King of Swords – Rigid thinking, unlike the “either/or” thinking is something that is more of a bad habit rather than a new development. It’s that whole “this must be done this way” mentality.  It is feeding into that “either/or” mentality tho, and causing a lot of conflict as a result.

What is tying my hands?

Ace of Pentacles atop Six of Cups – Old family values often hold me back, especially concerning work and money. I am aware of the fact that these values are a heavy influence in my life, and yet discarding them… even the ones that don’t really work for me or are unhealthy for me, is something I struggle with a great deal.  I’ve been able to loosen the grip of those ideals and judgements over time, but they still linger.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question
: What previously unknown light aspect has presented itself this year?

The Ellis Deck 5th Edition

Reading Summary: Learning to think of things (Page of Swords) as more of a journey (The World) instead of a constantly repeating battle (Nine of Rods) has helped me in finding a more stable foundation (King of Pentacles).

Take Away: Over the spring and summer as I’d been exploring my emotional and spiritual sides more openly and fully, I was given a new perspective of the world besides the hard edged black and white version I’d once seen the world as the majority of the time.  I feel like this new, softer perspective has rounded out my perception of the world a bit, and thus provided me with a more grounded and stable foundation for my life as a whole as well as my path moving forward.

DECK USED:  THE ELLIS DECK 5TH EDITION

New Can Be Scary… That’s Okay

IMG_7581Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.  The topic of the guided portion of the meditation was about holding space for others and listening with more than our ears but our mind and our heart as well.

Often, when we are talking with others, we don’t spend enough of our energy on listening to what the other person has to say.  Instead, we’re in our own heads formulating what we’re going to say next, or musing over our opinions of something that was said, or planning what we need to do later on in the day, etc.

The encouragement in the guided meditation is to use the mindfulness that we use in meditation, and carry it forward into the world in how we listen to and communicate with others.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ace of CupsToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in relation to one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity. This often translates into themes that have to do with new relationships, new creative ideas, or new emotional growth.

What really stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the small pink lotus flower on the right near the woman’s arm, and on the opposite side, the gray swirl of what I think is supposed to be her hair… but looks a lot like a shark to me at first glance.

The message here is that there is always a bit of risk in new things.  Things can go well and go smoothly, or they could turn around and bite you in the ass when you’re not looking.  The key is in her lifted arms… which speak of moving forward into new experiences regardless of the risk.  Sometimes you just have to step up and see what’s waiting for you.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Sun Question
: What am I asked to create for myself, or work on, throughout the month of November?

Delos Tarot - The Magician, DeathWhat am I asked to create for myself throughout the month of November?

The Magician – Confidence. I’ve felt a lot of uncertainty and insecurity lately when it comes to my ability to juggle my emotions and the holiday rush.  It’s been sort of wittling away at the edges of my confidence in other areas pertaining to my business.  The Magician is a reminder that I’m capable and that through the next few weeks I need to prove this to myself and create for myself  the confidence that I’ve felt wavering a bit lately.

What am I asked to work on throughout the month of November?

Patience through slow change. Patience is not my strong suit when it comes to my expectations of myself and my personal progress.  I need to keep in mind that most of the changes I’m working for this year are slow growth changes, and not sudden transformative moments.

DECK USED:  DELOS TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Advice I need to hear at this time concerning my personal happiness.

Tarot of the Little PrinceReading Summary:  Alone time is needed (The Hermit) so move your ass (Eight of Wands) and take the reigns and make it happen (The Chariot).

Take Away: Get your ass out into the woods. Stop procrastinating.
Wednesday.  I’m going on Wednesday after my dentist appointment. I plan on running a few errands in the morning after the dentist, and then heading out into the forest by late morning or early afternoon at the latest.

I’ve been feeling the need to get out into the forests for a bit now, but things have just felt so clusterfucked that I haven’t really managed to do it.  But I’ve set aside time for it on Wednesday and have every intention of spending a handful of hours out there.  It’s not as good as a day hike, but it’ll be a good long visit all the same. More than enough time to untie some internal knots and enjoy some alone time with the trees.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question
: What previously unknown shadow aspect has presented itself this year?

Edmund Dulac Tarot

Reading Summary: My issues with slowing down (The Chariot Rx) and taking things at a slower pace (Knight of Pentacles). These issues are rooted in my childhood (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  Ugh.  So much shadow work has been peeking out at me and trying to make itself known recently.  I can’t do shadow work in the fall and winter, and yet it always seems ready to make itself known around this time of year each year.  This shadow, like so many that try to get my attention in the fall, is rooted in my childhood.  Speed and efficiency are highly prized in my family, especially by my father, and I’ve spent a huge part of my life developing my speed and efficiency in all aspects of my life, work, and business. 

Over this year, I’ve been trying to spend more time slowing down instead, which has brought this specific shadow aspect I wasn’t really all that aware of as a shadow aspect rising up to the surface again and again.

DECK USED:  EDMUND DULAC TAROT