#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020

Preparation Before Action

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was cut short, as I had a telephone dermatology appointment.  Which seriously…. I don’t see why they bother.  In dermatology, a couple of pictures is not enough and it seems like a bit of a waste of time to have telephone appointments.  Not even video appointments like Zoom or FaceTime either… just voice supplemented with a couple of emailed pictures.

And of course, it didn’t go well and I have to go in.  Probably in June.

I will try to meditate again tonight before I go to sleep.

Forager's Daughter - Ace of WandsToday’s draw is the Ace of Wands, which is traditionally interpreted as a seed, new start, or beginnings concerning one’s drive, ambitions, or passions.  This often comes across in themes concerning the spark of new inspiration or new opportunities relating to one’s interests and ambitions.

What stands out to me today in the imagery of this card is the grape vines (especially the ripe grapes) and the spiderweb (which is actually supposed to be the north star, I think… but that’s not what I saw).

Grapevines, especially wild grapes, are vigorous grower.  They climb and climb, reaching for the sun, and the more sun they get?  The more they bear fruit.   Combined with the new moon above, the connotation here that see is one of bursting forth with energy and purpose.  No slow starts here… it’s all about the “get up and go“.

Combined with that symbolism is another aspect, that at first might feel counter-purpose to that burst of energy.  The cobweb (yes, I’m sticking with cobweb, because that’s what I saw) feels like a moment of pause.   When a spider builds a web and prepare to feast, they sit on the outside of the web and wait with perfect patience for something to become caught in the sticky strands. They wait for their opportunity  with patience and care, watching for the perfect moment to spring forward and claim the reward that comes from that judicious pause.

And that is the message here in today’s card.  It’s about my struggle with doing so much less than normal during the lockdown of the pandemic, when only one of my four part time jobs still exists, and even sales for my home business have slowed.   Now is the time to perfect my web, tighten up any loose strands that need brought into line.  Now is the time to practice patience, because soon enough the time to leap forward will arrive and things will once again be busy… and instead of feeling overwhelmed by inactivity, I will be overwhelmed by the familiarity of having too much on my plate at once.

It’s time to start viewing as preparation and the pause as a form of action… rather than something that is getting in the way of action and ambition.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I go about that process of self-forgiveness?

Tarot of 78 Doors

Reading Summary: Let go of (Death) some of that demand for more (King of Wands) and take some time to appreciate what you have (Nine of Chalices).

Take Away:  Not only does this answer the question on how I can go about forgiving myself for taking some “down time” for myself, but it also correlates with my card of the day today.  The message here is about letting go of expectations and releasing some of that “do it” energy that is driven by my ambition and drive for more and better.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE 78 DOORS

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self care for this full moon?

The Muse TarotReading Summary: Delve into your inspiration (Two of Inspiration) to improve upon your craft (Eight of Materials).  Take some time to plan ahead for what I’m going to need and take action to get that done (Three of Inspiration atop Page of Materials (necklace chain).  Stop ignoring your intuition on this matter (High Priestess).

Take Away:  Order those 100 meter spools of necklace chain.  Order it now. 

Yessir!

*Chuckles*   Okay so I went and contacted my supplier to get me set up and order the chain.

DECK USED:  THE MUSE TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What blessing can I embrace right now?

I Tarocchi Visconti Sforza Piccolo

Reading Summary:  This time is filled with opportunities (Ace of Swords and Ace of Wands) and I only need to tap into my intuition to choose a direction (The Popess).

Take Away:  All of today’s reads seem to be focused upon my ambitions and drive. That is to say, about my business.  Whether that be encouraging me to wait, or encouraging me to begin looking for those little sparks of seedling energy waiting to be snatched up and set into motion.   The blessing I am given the opportunity to embrace right now is the plethora of new inspiration and new ideas that are currently before me.   The Popess in this reading is a reminder that I can’t go after all of them, and have to choose wisely.

DECK USED:  I TAROCCHI VISCONTI SFORZA PICCOLO

It’s For Your Own Good

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3725Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon acceptance of one’s limitations and not viewing them as failures. The guided meditation spoke on the dangers of allowing yourself to come down too harshly on limitations that might play into one’s life.  Limitations from injuries, or even just normal day to day limitations that everyone has.

Sometimes we all fall a little short in one way or another.  We don’t get that promotion or manage to reach a goal that we’ve set our eyes on.   Today’s meditation was a reminder that you need to look at these limitations and disappointments as an opportunity for growth… not a reflection of failure upon you as a person.  Because when you choose to go down a dark road in your mind?  It can lead to even darker roads than the ones you ever meant to tread.

Maruco Animal Tarot - StrengthToday’s draw is the Strength card of the Major Arcana.  Like all of the Major Arcana, this card deals with all of the aspects of the human experience rather than just one single aspect at a time.  It is traditionally a representation of inner strength and courage as well as themes that deal with the ability to influence and/or persuade others to your will.

In the imagery of this card, what really stands out to me today is the lion is happy.  This speaks to me of being able to set aside one’s cranky ass nature to allow another to present you with an option that you may not have considered or normally have been open to, but that ultimately ends up making you happy.

You do this for me all the time.  You see the world a bit differently, your gaze is more focused upon people and emotions than I am, and your attention is more focused upon my self-care than I am.  You push me to do things to take care of myself that I would often neglect if it wasn’t for your influence… and I’m the better for allowing you that room to push and (in some instances) dictate on these matters.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What am I being invited to forgive myself for at this time?

Sun and Moon Tarot

Reading Summary: Making the choice (Two of Swords) to take some time for myself (Four of Swords) instead of spending all my time focusing on the betterment of my business (Princess of Wands).

The symmetry of colors between the first and last cards is how this deck is made, but it also spoke to me about the order in which the cards needed to be read.

In the center card, what really stands out to me there is the stripes on the tiger and how they continue up along the girl’s legs creating a synchronistic blending between man and beast… the beast being the burning fire of ambition.

Take Away:  The key to these cards is in the swords.  It’s in the fact that I am making an actual, conscious choice to allow myself some rest and recuperation. I’m not being forced.   I need to respect my choices as well as my need for this rest, and forgive myself for making the choice to prioritize rest over work.  Stop beating myself up over all of the things I could have been doing during that time and how much further ahead I could be. 

DECK USED:  SUN AND MOON TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Am I happy with the person I have become?

Dixit Cards v.2 QuestReading Summary: The strength and confidence to being true to myself is long standing (first card).  But, there is too much preying upon my small and soft spots (middle card), and too much inner cruelty and inner strife (third card).

Take Away:  So, yes… I am happy (pink) with the person I am and have always been (cobwebs).  I am comfortable in my own skin and know what I like (ballet slippers nearly glowing in the dark).  This?  I’m happy about and good with this.  I love to encourage and inspire others (en pointe position of shoes), and I believe that deep down I am a good person.

But… No.  I’m not happy about the person I have become when it deals with how that vicious part deep within me (cats eye glowing in the dark) treats the small and vulnerable parts of me (mouse on a plate), and how my negative thoughts sneak out (tentacles from the die) and provoke me into (demon made of tentacles) treating myself so harshly (orange red background).

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARDS V.2 QUEST

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does good communication look like to me?

The Fountain Tarot

Reading Summary: No padding the truth with kindness and comfort (Empress Rx). No wishy-washy verbiage or illusive connotations (The High Priestess). Just clarity (The Fountain) and pure, open sharing/discourse (Page of Coins).

There is also a connection between the two left cards and the two right cards, as both speak to me through color, use of light, and horizons.   In the left pair, which is the receiving side, there is an indication that although I prefer grounded and clear spoken honesty in communication, I also need a touch of warmth and humanity to the presentation in order to stay receptive to it.

In contrast, on the projective side (the right side) the two cards have a much colder and sharper feel to the imagery.  This speaks to me of my own delivery and how I feel feel the need for sharp focus and precision when I communicate and often rate that as being more important than softness or warmth.

Take Away:  All of this looks pretty accurate to me.  I take a good deal of care in my communication with others to phrase things in a precise way that won’t allow for a lot of misunderstanding or taking things “out of context” or in another light than intended.  I think a lot of people feel this comes off as cold and distant, and I have to make a conscious effort in my communication with others to not come off that way.

By the same turn, although I prioritize honesty and clarity above all else, I do find that I like a little warmth in how others communicate with me.  Even though I struggle with returning it in turn.

DECK USED:  THE FOUNTAIN TAROT

What’s Been Missed?

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

IMG_4089Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on holding space for others.   That is, spending time with others when they are struggling or in need, and just… being there.  Not trying to fix anything or even really trying to uplifting them, but sharing space with them so that they do not feel alone.

I admit, this is not one of my strong suits.  This isn’t to say I can’t do it, only that… I feel the need to fix things.  Deep inside, I feel the need to help by fixing or making better.  And this makes just sitting there and not actively trying to help extremely difficult for me, no matter how much I understand that that time and company, in and of itself, really is helping.

Maruco Animal Tarot - Ten of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Ten of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of completion and abundance as well as the “sharing of the wealth”of that abundance.

What really stands out to me in this card today is the puppy, which in the imagery here speaks to me about not forgetting the usually forgotten.   The invisible and the lost, yes?

Sometimes when we find ourselves in abundant circumstances and we begin “spreading the wealth” we forget those that might need it most but have a habit of slipping between the tracks.

Today’s card is a reminder to examine how my “wealth” is being dispersed and make sure I’m not allowing anything to “slip between the cracks”.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What recent accomplishment do I need to take pride in?

Stella's Tarot

Reading Summary: My ability to better control the more dangerous aspects of my passions and drive  (the leopard jumping through the ring controlled by the queen of wands), and allowing a willingness to delve into (Eight of Wands) my emotions,  contentment, and balance (Ten of Cups) with helping others as my motivation (Six of Disks).

Take Away:  There are aspects of my passionate drive and entrepreneurial spark that are a danger to me. If left with free reign, they eat away at my self-care until I am so focused and obsessed on that driving passion that it becomes a detriment to my health and well being.  The accomplishment mentioned here in the cards that I need to take pride in is the fact that I have reigned in that drive to a level that allows me time for self care and the exploration of my emotions and other “good for me” areas of my life.  The last card is a mention of how I find the motivation for this.  I am no good to others, unless I’m taking care of myself.

DECK USED:  STELLA’S TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What quality do I possess that others value most about me?

I Tarocchi Visconti Sforza PiccoloReading Summary:  I give the impression of being a mature, reasonable, and dependable person (King of Cups) with an optimistic and hopeful outlook towards the future (Temperance atop Ace of Discs) that’s a bit of a workaholic… or a lot of a workaholic (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  Okay so yes, I caught my little slip there.  That whole “I give the impression of being” is not from the cards but from my own self doubt.

I am mature, reasonable, and dependable… I do try and be optimistic and hopeful about the future… and I am absolutely a workaholic.   The cards indicate that these qualities are some of the things that others value most about me. 

DECK USED:  I TAROCCHI VISCONTI SFORZA PICCOLO

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What knowledge should I learn from this Global situation?

Tarot Mucha

Reading Summary: Sometimes you have to stick (Six of Swords Rx) around and do the best with what you have (Five of Cups). Practice gratitude and keep hope alive (The Star).

Take Away:  Sometimes when the shit hits the fan?  There’s no bailing out for greener pastures or a new start.   Sometimes there is no escape.   The “Global situation” (aka the Pandemic) has taught me that there are times when you just have to hunker down and wait it out, doing the best you can with what you have, and keeping hope alive for a brighter future while staying focused on counting your blessings.

DECK USED:  TAROT MUCHA

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What are my best qualities that I bring to a relationship?

Embroidered Forest Tarot

Genuineness (King of Swords) – I am… me.  I have no need to be anyone else, no desire to be anything else.  When I hide pieces of me from my partner, this feels wrong and uncomfortable. I am always honest and forthright in my communication as well, which keeps misunderstandings to a minimum even if it means I’m sometimes a bit too blunt. It’s better and easier to just be open and allow them to see the real me.  This way they know who I am and what’s coming where I am concerned and where they stand with me and I with them.

Nudges Towards Progress and Betterment (The Chariot) – This is not something I became aware of until Gideon, but I feel it is important to encourage the one I am with to be a better person.  This isn’t about controlling them, but about providing perspectives and opening up their view to different ideas and other, better paths that might improve their situation, outlook, or trajectory.

Emotional Support (Queen of Cups) – Although I am not adept at dealing with my own emotions, I am there for those I care about when it comes to theirs and trying to help them through times when they need a little extra emotional support.   I’m often very distant, but in these moments, I step forward without hesitation to offer what I can to give emotional support.

DECK USED:  EMBROIDERED FOREST TAROT

 

Where There’s a Will There’s a Way

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and was a non-guided meditation set into the tail end of my yoga practice.  I did not do my soak in the bath yesterday or today, but rather enjoyed a little extra time in bed before getting up to do my physio/yoga routine and then attaching the meditation to the end.

The meditation focused upon a full body scan and then focusing upon my breath and breathing into the spots where I felt a bit of extra tension and pain.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Three of WandsToday’s draw is the Three of Wands, which is traditionally interpreted as taking action on plans that have been made and moving forward or expanding on the beginnings of a project or journey.

What really stands out to me in this image is three things that all support the traditional interpretation to one degree or another.   The first is the knotweed at the bottom of the card, which is an extremely hardy and invasive plant and speaks to me of “advancing” and “taking over” or taking charge.

The second element is the star shining in the sky among the clouds, which is reminiscent to me of the north star in the nativity story that leads the wise men to the birth of baby Jesus.  This theme and imagery speaks to me of being given direction from external sources such as a guiding spirit or the hand of fate.

The third element in the imagery that stands out to me today is the hawk, but not.. as a hawk.   In truth, the perching hawk reminds me of the cranes that I often see perched on old poles in the wetlands and bird sanctuaries I sometimes visit on my way up north.  The cranes sit on these weathered poles in much the same way the hawk in this picture sits upon his perch and the reminder is that… I need to get outside.

The message here in today’s card is just that.  I need to get outside including a suggestion, perhaps by the guiding hand of my spirit guides or the hand of the fates, that I should be proactive about my needs (the knotweed) and check if I can possibly gain access to one of these wetlands in order to get a little outdoor time the next time I head north to check my mail.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better acknowledge and love myself for that quality of being able to find a positive pat forward through the discomfort of change, and guiding/inspiring others to find theirs?

Mystical Creatures Tarot by BabaStudios

Reading Summary: Take some time to think over my inner qualities (Four of Cups and Eight of Swords) and don’t fight so hard against (Five of Swords) being kind to yourself (Temperance) and giving yourself credit. A bit of kindness can go a long way.

Take Away:  The read above is less about what the cards are and was more of an intuitive hit off the cards as a whole and how they surround the Temperance card which really stood out to me strongly.    The advice here is advice that I hear from the cards pretty often (and from people as well) which is…. be kind to myself. If I want to appreciate myself and love myself more for that quality mentioned, I need to stop judging myself so harshly and instead take some time to really consider and meditate on my good qualities.  

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL CREATURES TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1

Light Visions TarotReading Summary: Silence the beast with teeth (Knight of Swords). Take more off your plate (Seven of Chalices). Focus on what works (Queen of Pentacles). Emotional growth and contentment (Nine of Chalices).

Take Away:  This is about easing up on my expectations of myself concerning my ambitions and responsibilities in order to give myself room to grow emotionally and find acceptance of that growth and emotions.

These expectations are rarely ever spoken aloud and yet always present and eating away at my mind and thoughts, pushing and always sharp toothed and quick to bite with criticism.  This beast breeds in the silence, grows within the quiet.   Instead of constantly fighting against that “beast” while piling more and more on my plate, now is the time to be emptying my plate a bit more, not adding more to it.

To pick and choose what needs to be removed from my plate, let go of the things that aren’t working and focus on those things that are. By doing this and it will free up space on my plate and room in my life to find a happier and more contented “piece of the pie” in my life.

DECK USED:  LIGHT VISIONS TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What knowledge does this month want to share with me?

The Fountain Tarot

Reading Summary: How to move forward (Three of Wands) in defeating my mental demons (Knight of Swords) in order to allow myself to foster my own emotions and emotional growth (Queen of Cups).

Take Away:  Okay! Okay! I hear you!   Make room for emotional growth!

So many of my readings over the last few days have been about this.  Clearly the cards want to make sure I’m very clear on where my focus needs to be this month.

*Huff*  Right.   So this month wants to share with me how to embrace the emotional growth and new level of emotions I have been trying to get used to and not allow my negative mental voices to get in the way of that progress.

DECK USED:  THE FOUNTAIN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Why are relationships important to me?

Animal Wisdom Tarot

Reading Summary: The relationships in my life help me overcome uncertainty (The Moon) by making me feel I have a wealth of support (Nine of Fossils) and options to reach out to (Seven of Shells).

Take Away:  I actually struggled with admitting that relationships are important to me, because it feels like a vulnerability.  That said?  The truth is that relationships are important to me, regardless of the fact that they also make me feel vulnerable.

One of the ways that I use to process things that I don’t understand or need support with is to reach out to multiple people for their feelings and opinions on whatever has me feeling uncertain.

They provide support, definitely… but they also provide me with an array of perspectives and views that allow me to sort through my own emotions that I don’t understand and find my way to a place where I can better understand what’s going on with me, my emotions, and my reactions. They help me in piecing together that understanding to give me a much larger, fuller picture.

DECK USED:  ANIMAL WISDOM TAROT

Being Nice and Trying Again… and Again

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

startagainToday’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long and was self guided with a focus upon self forgiveness and letting go of the pressure and stress that I put upon myself to always do more and berate myself when I take a break.    I felt that it was a really good topic for today, being that today is self-care Saturday and all.

I think that it’s important for me to remember that not only is it okay to take rests, but it’s okay to have an “off” day now and then, and that tomorrow is a new day and I can “try again”.  The only person judging me is me, and I’m allowed to forgive myself when things just don’t go according to plan now and then.

Like so many lessons to do with self care and self forgiveness, knowing the concept and saying the words is so much easier than actually putting them into action.  I figure that maybe if I remind myself enough, it will begin to sink in at some point.

Maruco Animal Tarot - Five of WandsToday’s draw is the Five of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, and conflict concerning one’s passions, ambitions, and drive.

Speaking of beating up on yourself.  This card was actually the inspiration for the topic of today’s meditation.

For me, the biggest conflict I face on a day to day basis is inner conflict.  Specifically conflict concerning how much I’m getting done and how much I have to do… and berating myself for not getting more done considering how much I have to do.

This card’s appearance today was a reminder of that inner conflict, which is so very often centered around my passion projects, entrepreneurial spark, and drive to succeed at my business and my goals.

The message here isn’t in the conflict of the card… but in the imagery of those sweet little bunnies turned rabid.  It is a reminder to not allow myself to be such a vicious dick to myself.  It wouldn’t be okay to treat others that way, and so I shouldn’t be treating myself that way either.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What amazing thing about myself do I often fail to recognize?

Fairy Tarot by Virtue and Valentine

Reading Summary:  My resourcefulness (The Magician) to find a better way (Six of Winter) and bring people together (Hierophant/Unity) and inspire them to do the same (The Fool).

Just sayin’?  But although I haven’t found the time to do it yet…. this deck is definitely soon to be on the chopping block for a trim.

Take Away:  You would think that I wouldn’t have such a hard time with change since I’m somewhat skilled at turning situations around to come out the better for it… and yet I am always a bit trepidatious when it comes to change.   That said… what the cards indicate here is that this ability is actually something that is amazing about me, and something that inspires others to explore change with a lighter heart and more hopeful outlook than they otherwise would.

DECK USED:  FAIRY TAROT BY VIRTUE AND VALENTINE

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I add more fun into my life?

Sun and Moon TarotReading Summary: Find the passion inside you to fight for it (Five of Wands) and not allow obstacles to hold you back (Six of Wands) because this is a gift to yourself that can help restore balance (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away:  If I really want to add more fun into my life, I will need to fight for it. This means fighting to find the time, fighting to see true value in that time, and fight against my own inner tendency to not allow myself that time.  The cards also indicate that it’s important that to assist myself in this fight, I need to keep in mind the benefits that the added fun can have in my life, and use those benefits and the balance it can create, to inspire and motivate me to make the effort.

DECK USED:  SUN AND MOON TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What does the month ahead hold for me?

Mermaid Tarot by Robertson

Reading Summary:  Carefree (Judgement Rx) and well balanced (Temperance) while enjoying new emotions (Ace of Cups).

There is also a connection between the Judgement card and the Ace of Cups card through the colors associated in both cards which speaks to me about allowance.  Allowing yourself to delve in and allowing yourself to explore without the fear of repercussions that may come.

There is also a flow of motion connection between all three cards where in each card the flow moves from left to right and strengthens in its progression from one card to the next.  This flow speaks to me of the Judgement card and the Temperance card both building up support for the Ace of Cups (emotional exploration).

Take Away:   There has been a lot of overwhelm and issues over the past few months since I first discovered that new level of emotional growth back at the end of last summer.  The cards here indicate that I am at a place this month and ready to delve into that new growth. Not with fear or discomfort, but with an openness and carefree acceptance that will allow me to stay balanced and keep the experience positive.

DECK USED:  MERMAID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  When do I feel most loved?

Dixit Deck v.2 QuestIntuitive Interpretation: While the world falls apart outside the sheltering structure (broken musical notes on the ground) the guy in the window remains securely inside and a knight protects him from the monster crawling out of the deep dark hole.

It’s not possible to hide behind what makes me feel safe forever, but it’s nice and very special when that option is there when I need it.

The anchor’s significance is twofold.  First it signifies the steadying rock of your presence in my life.  Second is its significance within our D/s, as you are the anchor in my drown.  Just as I liken subspace to peacefully floating in water, suspended beneath the surface… you are the anchor that holds me under and keeps me safe from floating away on random currents.

Take Away:  When do I feel most loved?  When I feel safe and secure, protected and cared for.  Sheltered and… most especially?  In the middle of my drown when you’re there holding me under and creating that experience for me that is something only you are able to create.

DECK USED:  DIXIT DECK V.2 QUEST