DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020

Spreading the Wealth

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and was a full body scan that I did to music just after my yoga/physiotherapy. It was a really nice practice, but I think that I’ll stick to the music-free sessions.

It’s too distracting when even the gentle reactions from my synesthesia start to play into the music, and I don’t really have any relaxing music that I don’t react to  physically in some small way.

Six of Pentacles - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is the Six of Pentacles, which is about sharing and harmony as wealth and/or resources are balanced out rather than kept at an uneven scale.  Oddly, I always confuse the imagery on this card with the Seven of Pentacles, and when I read this card using this deck.

What I get out of this card for today’s message is that when you have a good harvest, be sure to spread the wealth around.  That can be financially or through resources, or even through the things you manifest along the way.   It’s about reaping the benefits of your hard work, and sharing those benefits with others.

It makes me think of J and L, and about those things I give without thought, and the people I give them to.   I know that sometimes you think I am too generous, sometimes with those that you feel are undeserving.  But to ME, that generosity is one of the ways that I show that I appreciate others, and sometimes also a way for me to to express that I care.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my community?

Tarot of the Lucid Dream

Reading Summary:  Although I often feel like I’m slacking (Four of Swords), what I actually provide is a sense of stability (Four of Coins) and direction (Two of Wands).

Take Away:  I drew these cards with my condo building in mind. I’m on the security board (which is so much nicer than just having a “security person” on the condo board) and we just had a meeting last night.  I don’t have a lot of specific responsibilities on this board, or rather… any.  Instead I step in when I can and when is needed.  It’s nice to know that my presence and contributions are providing something of value, because as usual… I don’t see my own worth or contributions all that clearly at all.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LUCID SLUMBER

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I obtain more of what I love most in life?

Regretsy Tarot

Reading Summary:  Ten wands – six wands – ace cups

Stop overburdening myself (Ten of WTF) and being so damned defensive (Six of WTF), and open yourself up emotionally to deal with things from a different angle (Ace of Genitalia).

Take Away:  This is about you and I, and about dealing with those moments when you tweak.   It’s about not allowing that sense of overwhelm and feelings of defensiveness get in the way of trying to understand where you’re coming from and seeking the emotional support and understanding needed to work through these things… because what I love most in life is you, and that means all of you.  Even those possessive, protective, and sometimes zealously jealous parts.

DECK USED:  REGRETSY TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Message for the day: Oracle / Tarot

Shakiti Wisdom Oracle and Guided Hand TarotOracle Message for Today: Listen to your intuition.  Sometimes this can be difficult when the drop is in the process of crawling up my ass, but it’s needed.  Especially in those times where my judgement can be compromised by the vulnerability and unsteady footing of the drop.

Tarot Message for Today:  Just hold on and ride it out.  It won’t last forever.

DECK USED:  SHAKITI WISDOM ORACLE AND THE GUIDED HAND TAROT

Don’t Shut Down

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon projecting a sense of gratitude, and how having a sense of gratitude in your live helps you to see the value not just in yourself, but in others as well.

It has to do with allowing yourself to notice how many good things and good people are in your life, and thus how deserving you are of good things on the whole.

The Fool - Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is The Fool card, which is a representation of unrestrained possibility, spontaneity, and innocence.  It speaks of beginnings and starting anew.

The message in today’s card is one of opening up and speaking up.   The drop is coming and it’s reminding me that in that soft and vulnerable place, it’s not okay to close off, but a time for setting myself open and free in order to allow those wounded and aching feelings inside to be soothed and healed.

DECK USED:  MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve my relationship with money?

Love Is In The Earth Tarot

Reading Summary: Take care that I’m not spending my emotions (Princes of Crystal Cups) because focusing on optimism (The Star) is a better path to getting what I want out of life (Four of Crystal Wands)

Take Away:  By “spending emotions” I mean as in how some people “eat their emotions”.  Buying things to feel better, yeah?   The cards say that for a better relationship with money, a better path than buying something to “feel good” it would be a better idea to find ways to lift my spirits through optimism and a better outlook, which will free up that money to assist me in creating the stability and security that I desire most of all.

DECK USED:  LOVE IS IN THE EARTH TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: A positive message to carry with me throughout my day.

Majestic Earth Tarot and Gay Tarot

Reading Summary:  As this is the topic of my COTD, I added the COTD at the center and used this question (and the cards) to then build upon it.   Do this (Temperance), and not this (The Hermit).

Take Away:  Temperance and the Hermit are reinforcements of what I said above.  The drop can make me irrational, thus the arrival of temperance to remind me to stay calm.  The drop can also make me retreat into myself, and the Hermit is a warning about that, and an encouragement to keep myself from going there.

DECK USED:  GAY TAROT AND MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: What’s a distraction? / Where do I need to focus?

Lion's Gateway TarotWhat’s a distraction? :  Past resentments and getting mentally wrapped up in the chaos of inner conflict is a distraction that I’m dealing with at the moment.   Some of this is the approach of the drop.  Some of it is what happened with my visit at mom’s recently.  And some of it is that negative “down on myself” bullshit concerning taking things slow.  All of it is distraction that isn’t doing anything for me.

Where do I need to focus? :  I just made my yearly appointment with my financial advisor at the bank.  This card is about productivity and about getting things done.  I need to train my focus on my goals as I go into this week, and make sure that my actions follow through on my intentions and desires.

DECK USED:  LION’S GATEWAY TAROT

Organize First… Then Act

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Today’s meditation is currently as yet to be done.  I tried to lie down and do it earlier this morning, but I couldn’t manage to get myself to settle.  Rather than trying to force it and make myself miserable, I decided to give it a try later on, which has turned into giving it a try at bed time.

Knight of Pentacles - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is the Knight of Pentacles, which is the most solid and down to earth of all the knights. The Knight of Pentacles is about responsibility and getting things done, which is honestly a bit in contrast to how I’m feeling these days.

I am making a concerted effort to slow down and take things a step at a time instead of plowing into everything headlong and submerging in it until I either sink or swim… and I always fucking swim.  But what I’ve found is that in taking my time and not giving myself that stress to go go go?  I feel like I’m slacking.

The appearance of the Knight of Pentacles is a reminder that it’s not slacking.  It’s self care.  It’s okay to take your time because you are progressing, just at a slower rate than you’re used to.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with money?

Guardian Tarot

Reading Summary:  Look at that flow of flowers (no, they are not standard through the whole deck).  What really stands out to me in this read is the flowers.  They go from a few flowers sprouting from the earth in the first card, to abundance in the second card, and then abundance obtained in the third card.

Take Away:  As an intuitive hit from the perspective mentioned above, my relationship with money is one of fostering growth and harvesting the rewards of that endeavor.

DECK USED:  GUARDIAN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care this full moon?

The Oriens Tarot

Reading Summary:  My inner conflict is getting the better of me (Five of Wands) and I need to work on centering and grounding myself (Queen of Pentacles) so that I’m not bouncing all over the place (Knight of Wands).  Ignoring my emotions (Page of Cups) is a foolish endeavor (The Fool).

Take Away:  We are actually talking about this right now in IMs. That is, we’re talking about that sense of shame and conflict I’m feeling concerning the feelings of stagnation and lack of accomplishment involved in taking things slow.  The cards (which were drawn this morning) are telling me that I need to not hold this in.  Instead I need to confront these feelings and deal with them, something that you help me with.

From our talk: “I think that your fear kinda held you back for so long that you’re unsure of those first steps and feeling like you’re never gonna reach them. You can do this, babe. It’s a lot about organization and you are GOOD at that… this is a first step at that… being organized will make you feel better. More confident and secure.”

You’re right.   Maybe the first steps don’t have anything to do with doing things at all, but rather with getting organized.

DECK USED:  THE ORIENS TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Connect with this / Find inspiration here

Alice Tarot by Baba StudiosConnect With This:  Finding direction. Wow. Okay.  So the majority of the reads this morning all deal with the same thing, as this read also ties into both the COTD for today as well as the Tarotholics Prompt above.   It speaks of needing to find direction and getting organized prior to trying to advance and ending up spinning my wheels.

Find Inspiration Here:  This is about realizing that this new, slower way of doing things should be seen as an adventure and not a chore.  I should take this new adventure with an open heart, rather than being down on myself when I occasionally stumble during the transition period.

DECK USED: ALICE TAROT BY BABA STUDIOS

Sparking the Flame

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Today’s meditation was about twenty minutes long, and was not guided but instead a full body scan that completed with going from focusing upon my body to my surroundings.   First my immediate surroundings, and then further out as I stretched my senses and my energy to reach further and stretch.

At the end, you pull your senses and energy back in again, and repeat the body scan as you settle back into the norm.   I found the meditation to be very relaxing and very much like stretching, but without the pain that stretching my body always involves.

Ace of Trees - Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is…. look at all that green.  Okay, just saying but I really like this card, even if the horizontal alignment took me by surprise.   This card is the Ace of Trees, which is the equivalent of the Ace of Air / Wands.

This card is about planting seeds and bright new sparks of inspiration.

My immediate reaction to this card is, “YES!  Lets go hiking!” and with the current need to get myself back into working on gaining weight? The message here is to get myself going on this.  Adventures await and I’ll enjoy my time outside much more if I get my ass in gear and start that journey to a healthier body.

DECK USED:  MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve my relationship with my ancestors and guides?

Revelations Tarot

Reading Summary:  To overcome their dissatisfaction with how I have been treating them over the stretch of the past (Nine of Cups), I need to continue in my solitary path of searching (Four of Cups) and meditation (Three of Pentacles).

Take Away:  As the reading yesterday on this topic indicated, I’m on the right path.  I just need to be patient and dedicated and practice perseverance in order to demonstrate to my ancestors and guides that this is something I really want and not just a whim.

DECK USED:  REVELATIONS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #2
How can I foster inspiration for taking better care of myself?

Tarot of the Lucid Slumber

Reading Summary: Long-term results can be obtained (Judgement) if I will stop spending so much time worrying about the things you can’t control (Six of Swords), and focus on the things that that I can (The Devil).

Breaking the read down through the activity in the spread, the reason that the Judgement card sits at the center and focal point (result) of this reading is not just because it sits in the center, but also because it incorporates colors from the other two cards together.   On either side you have to completely opposing color schemes, and in the center both colors are combined in one card.

Take Away:  You know that whole phrase “easier said than done”? Yep.  That said, I am trying to let go of that grasping, gripping need for control over everything, and to break down my responsibilities into smaller bite sized pieces.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LUCID SLUMBER

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: What will help me in improving my vision this year? / What am I already seeing clearly?

Tarot in WonderlandImproving My Vision: Keep my eye on the ball.  That ball is not just the security and stability that I crave and the path that will eventually take me there, but also involves my gratitude and my practice concerning appreciation of what I already have.

Seeing Clearly:  I see the need for hope and optimism.  I see that if I want to move forward and keep progressing along the path toward my goals, I need to foster that hope and optimism.  It’s not a natural mindset for me, but I will continue to work towards it because I understand its importance.

DECK USED:  TAROT IN WONDERLAND

The “How” of It All

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Today’s meditation was about seven minutes long and was interrupted by THREE f’ing phone calls.  I would have started over, but then J showed up and it was time to go.  In the end I gave up and decided that I would try again tonight before bed.

Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning both cards came out together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are The Moon and the Three of Cups.

When I received The Moon card the other day, it was about my longing to be out in nature and how sometimes I just can’t get out there enough to sate that longing inside of me.

Today’s draw is an expansion on that, which speaks of inviting those I love to assist me in finding the time and opportunity to spend time in those places I love so much.  My loved ones are there for me, to support me and help me in finding those things in life that bring me joy.  It’s important that I don’t just acknowledge that, but allow that to happen and reach for that support when I need it.

Reaching for that support is a repeating theme in the cards lately, and I hear the message loud and clear, even if it seems I’m having a hard time with the “how” of it all.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my current relationship with my ancestors and guides?

Britt's Third Eye Tarot

Reading Summary:  Keep working at it (Temperance), keep researching (Three of Pentacles) and seeking a good balance between responsibilities and seeking that connection (Queen of Pentacles). Things are coming along, but it’s going to take some time cuz there’s going to be some ups and downs involved (Wheel of Fortune) in convincing them of my sincerity.

Take Away:  Essentially?  I’m on the right track both in my private efforts to connect with my ancestors and guides, in reaching out to others for information and research, and in finding a good balance between the responsibilities of life and my spiritual path.  But it’s going to take some time.  I’ve spent my life ignoring them and putting the effort to communicate entirely in their court, and if I want to connect?  I’m going to have to stay the course until I’ve proven to them that it’s what I really want.

DECK USED:  BRITT’S THIRD EYE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What one thing can I do today to make a loved one’s life better?

Dame Darcy's Queen Alice Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: The thing I can do that would most help a loved one is help them with their burdens.  I was thinking of L when drawing these cards, and it looks like what she needs is something very similar to myself at the moment.  That is to say, someone to help remind her of the long-term view and set her free of the self-restraining thoughts that are making her feel overwhelmed with her burdens and responsibilities.

Although I haven’t had the chance to see her today, I think I might sit down with her and have a heart to heart tomorrow.  Just some quiet time and a talk about how we’re both feeling and how we can help each other in what is very obviously a mutual struggle at this time.

DECK USED:  DAME DARCY’S QUEEN ALICE TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Card for me / Card for humanity

Weird Cat TarotCard for Me – Four of Wands, Wheel of Fortune – Make sure that you’re taking time to cherish the good times, because life is going to be full of lots of ups and downs this year.

Card for Humanity – Ace of Swords – It’s time to start looking at things in a new way, and to acknowledge the dependence we have upon the earth and her goodwill and generosity.

DECK USED:  WEIRD CAT TAROT

 

Synergy

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and took place in the bottom of my shower with paced rhythmic breathing exercises and the trailing of water drops along the side of the tub as the water rained down.   I needed a moment’s retreat, as it’s the third day in a row that I’ve woken up with that tight fissure of anxiety threading through my veins.

It actually felt so good I wish that I’d had some time to take a nap there. I didn’t, of course.  But I have in the past and regardless of the hard surface of the tub beneath me?  It’s some of the best napping I’ve ever had.

Majestic Earth TarotToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means the two cards came out together as one instead of individually.  The cards in today’s draw are The Magician and the Creature of Clouds.

The Magician is a message of capability and control, while the Creature of Clouds is about precision and keen mind.    The combination of the two in today’s draw is a message about not just having the tools to accomplish my goals, but also the judgement to use them to their best purpose and control their use to the best timing.

When you combine decisive and cunning thought with skillful expertise, it creates a synergy.   A harmony that’s rich in potential and promise.

DECK USED:  MAJESTIC EARTH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I foster a better relationship with my spirit?

The Stretch Tarot

Reading Summary:  Better balance (Two of Pentacles) and a long term view (Judgement) in relation to looking at what I need to accomplish (Page of Pentacles) so that I can foster better “flow” between the different elements of my life (Temperance)

Take Away:  Balance brackets the matching cards in the middle.  Two different kinds of balance.  One is the juggle and struggle of keeping things together and up in the air.  The other a flowing balance of elements, like musical notes flow together to create a song.   In order to move from the jagged effort of juggling into the smooth flow of energy my spirit seeks, I need to stop falling into the trap of “everything has to be done now” and take a longer view.  I’m not on a time table.  There is no clock.  No punch card.  No deadline. 

DECK USED:  STRETCH TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where in my life do I need to set stronger boundaries?

Sola Busca Revisited Tarot

Reading Summary:  My mother’s (Empress over Page of Swords) bullshit manipulations (Fool) using good memories (Sun over Six of Cups).

Take Away:  My mother is usually represented by the Queen of Swords reversed.  She is currently being represented by the Page of Swords and the Empress because at this moment she is looking for a new foothold with which to “work her will” into my life after the mess I made of her social standing.   The cards are both an indication of where I need to set stronger boundaries, and also a warning of how she is going to eventually approach once her silent treatment of me has ended.

DECK USED:  SOLA BUSCA REVISITED TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Where am I slacking? / How can I motivate?

Golden Tarot of KlimtWhere am I slacking? – Progress.  I am lacking in progress.  Yeah, that’s pretty accurate.  Although I’ve begun to get a fresh breath from the fog of fear and uncertainty that had been so stifling through the end of December and all of January.  I’ve yet to hit my stride since digging out that fear and uncertainty.  Part of it is just that these things take time, but another part of it is that I feel like I need a break.  I took a few days off to go to my mother’s at the beginning of the month, and yet I just don’t feel like I got any rest out of the time off at all.

Take Away:  This ties into the Tarot for Growth reading I did today.  It speaks of needing to take a long term view and accepting that everything can’t be done right now.   That mindset of everything having to be done right now is holding me back from getting anything done at all.  When you plant seeds, they don’t just miraculously sprout into towering trees.  It takes time… everything takes time, and I need to stop being so hard on myself about that fact, because it has nothing to do with me.  It’s just the nature of how good things grow.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN TAROT OF KLIMT