daily draw

More Grounding, Less Fukery

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

TToday’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon balancing your own self care with that of caring for others.

Although my personal self care is usually sacrificed under the altar of fiscal responsibility, this does come a close second for me.  Especially with those that I am close with like my sister, and… reluctantly, my mother.

I’m aware that I’ve fallen into a bit of a self-neglect mode the last few days…er, weeks. And that has started to awaken my self destruct tendencies.  SO I’m doing my best to try and force myself into doing the self-care things I need, whether I’m really up for it or not.

Essentially, that is what today’s meditation was about.  Taking care of yourself.  Making sure you’re okay so that you can help others be okay too.  Sort of like putting on your oxygen mask on a plane before you help others with putting on theirs.

Temperance - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Temperance card, which is traditionally a representation of themes concerning moderation and balance in all things.

As I’ve written recently in a previous post, balance requires constant adjustment, compensation, and compromise in order to make it work.  The imagery that stands out to me in this card is very much focused upon the two cups, but also the sparks of light that surround the angel. Sparks that appear to be made of the same essence of what is in the cups.

The message here is that yes, things feel like they are falling apart, and my scales of balance are way off kilter at the moment… but this is temporary.  Finding balance might take a bit of effort and careful experimentation, but I will find a way to keep the scales balanced if I work at it with patience and a calm, clear mind.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I distinguish between healthy enthusiasm and potentially destructive impulsivity?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Lack of Impulse

Take Away:  There is no impulse in these cards.  There’s no pounce and GO to them.  Even in the page where things are new and enthusiastic, it is in the grounded and steady suit of Pentacles.   What I see here is that if I want to tell the difference between healthy enthusiasm and destructive impulse, it’s in that lack of impulsiveness.  It’s in having forethought and grounded enthusiasm combined with that inner compass of right and wrong.  It’s grounded and solid, not flighty and impetuous.

DECK USED:  REIGNING ROUGE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where do I need more support?

Janasa Jaus Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Try again.  STOP being such a dick to yourself.  You’re tired and frustrated.  That’s okay, but it’s time to let go of the blame.

Take Away:  There is a need to bear down on practical actions in order to get myself through the “weeds” of the situation that I currently find myself in and not allow myself to fall into a place of self recriminations and self destruction.  Everyone is fucked right now. It’s not just me.  The economy and the health crisis, the whole thing. It’s a mess.  I didn’t cause it, I didn’t DO anything wrong.  There is absolutely nothing to beat myself up about.

These cards are telling me to not let that inner prick that likes to pick on myself take control even if it means enlisting the help of others to make that happen.  Stay grounded and keep moving forward.  You might not be able to see the end of the field through the tall grass, but it’s there… just make sure each step you take in getting there is based in the solid footing of practicality…. and for fuck sake, get yourself on a schedule already so you can move at a steady, dependable pace.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Activity: Draw 1-3 cards. What symbols speak most strongly to you in today’s card(s)?

A Darisa Tarot: The Lomisht

Reading Summary:   What stands out to me in these cards most strongly is the blood in the first card and how it matches the hues of the last card, but how the color scheme of the first matches the scheme of the second.  There is also a personal draw to the rain represented in the middle card, which to me represents a kind of contentment that goes beyond having “everything” and into a pleasure you can only have when having nothing.  This creates an interesting connection between the cards that indicates the beginning of a relationship rather than coming to the end of a cycle as the center card would normally indicate.   The concrete tablet in the last card stands out to me as well, speaking of road blocks between the flames of one’s aspirations and themselves if the sacrifice hinted at by the blood of the first card is not met.

Message in the Cards:  Sometimes partnerships take a bit of sacrifice in order to make them flourish and come out with positive results in the end.

DECK USED:  A DARISA TAROT: THE LOMISHT

 

Tomorrow Is Another Day

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was again, nonexistent.  And I am very aware that I’m not doing myself any favors by skipping it.   In fact, I can feel the deterioration happening.  I need to get back into doing it and will do a short body scan meditation before bed tonight then start fresh tomorrow morning.

Eight of Cups - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of moving on emotionally (often from disappointment) or using escapism to remove yourself from unpleasant situations.

What I see here is about my failures toward self care over the past week or so and my need to get back on track again. It’s time to let go of my self-bashing and release the disappointments in myself.  It’s time to step up and take care of myself and move away from the emotional self-abuse that has been very subtly sneaking in on me behind the concealment of inner walls.

Tomorrow is another day, and another chance to do better than today.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I harness my own enthusiasm to align with Aries’ fiery energy?

Law of Attraction Tarot

Interpretation: I may need a little help (Two of Cups) in reigning in my inner thoughts and struggles, wrestling them under control and sorting them into an actionable order (Queen of Swords).  The chaos and mess of all the disappointments and nasty surprises that have happened over the past week, the feeling of shit that is so very important to me falling apart, and the mental chaos of anxiety and stress going on (Three of Swords) because of all this?  It needs to be brought to heel with a gentle, strong hand.  It needs to be sorted and organized and I need to find that control (Back to the Queen of Swords). 

DECK USED:  LAW OF ATTRACTION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon where I am spiritually in the week ahead?

Arcana Iris Sacra

Reading Summary: Be kind and nurturing (Queen of Chalices), concise and organized (Queen of Swords).  Own that you know the way forward, you can take these experiences and learn from them (The Hierophant).

Take Away:  The world is only as uncertain as you allow it to be. The cacophony of chaos that was mentioned in yesterday’s reading, and the feeling that the world is thrown into chaos and uncertainty… these are things I can get under control.  To do that, I need to stay on and disciplined in my self care, and require myself to do the re-organizational work necessary to create a new schedule and a new structure for myself.  The Hierophant reminds me that I have much to learn from this situation.  Don’t shut down and close off and miss these lessons, instead pay attention and use what you learn to move forward with the strength that knowledge provides.

DECK USED:  ARCANA IRIS SACRA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I enhance my intuition through my dreams?

Goblin Tarot RWS Edition

Reading Summary: Don’t disregard your dreams as unimportant (High Priestess) because they are not all fun and games (The Sun).  Stop setting your dreams aside as unimportant (Eight of Cups).

Take Away:  I actually wasn’t sure where this reading would go, because… as the cards so very clearly called me out on, I usually disregard my dreams as unimportant and without relevance.  The cards here indicate that the reason that my dreams do not enhance my intuition is because I choose to treat them in that way, and to change that attitude would create an opening for my dreams to step forward and enhance my intuitive process.

DECK USED:  GOBLIN TAROT RWS EDITION

 

Stop. Breathe. Indulge… Just a Little.

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was nonexistent.  Not because I didn’t have time but because I was lazy and enthused and just… unmotivated.  I didn’t do it.   My head is also killing me and has been for a couple of days now.  Although, that’s probably not an excuse because chances are that the meditation would help with my stress and anxiety levels.  As I’m writing this post a day late, I am not able to do it before bed, of course, because the day is now gone already.

The Empress - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Empress card, which is traditionally a representation of nurturing energy, mothering themes, and earthy abundance.

I really love the imagery of this card with the beautiful vulnerability of the woman’s nude form before the mirror and the abundance of earthy green hair full of flowers, to the enraptured little elf peering down from above.  What really stands out to me in this card today, though, is her hand upon the mirror.

This speaks to me not so much about the need to nurture others, but to create some nurturing kindness for myself.  This is something I’m not particularly skilled at, but that is important… maybe even more important now when my anxiety and stress is so high and everything is up in the air.   Today’s card is a reminder of this need, and an encouragement to make time for myself and that need for a little extra self care and indulgence.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best feed that flame? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

A Darisa Tarot: The Lomisht

Interpretation:  Remember where you want to go and that sometimes things have to end in order to start anew with something better.  Embody ownership of your emotions and go after what you want with this new start.  Now is the chance to build a new foundation and reorganize upon it a new way of doing things going forward.

DECK USED:  A DARISA TAROT: THE LOMISHT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I spiritually at this time?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Interpretation:  I am struggling with the transition from how things were to how they are now.  It feels like it all happened to fast and has left me reeling. Because of that I am feeling a sense of uncertainty that spreads into my spiritual self.   Not that my faith is lacking, but it is as if the uncertainty of everything else has polluted even this, where that uncertainty is rooted in how quickly things can change and fall apart.

DECK USED:  REIGNING ROUGE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does it feel like to know something for sure?

Celtic Dragon Tarot

Reading Summary: A sense of ownership and capability (The Magician) even when something is new (Page of Pentacles). When that “something” rests within my wheelhouse. (Three of Pentacles)

Take Away:  What this boils down to is a combination of certainty rooted in my skills and abilities and the ownership of those skills and abilities in a way that keeps me feeling on solid footing to a point that there is no longer any doubt.

DECK USED:  CELTIC DRAGON TAROT

 

What Have You Done?

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and due to having a rib out of place I had a really hard time staying still and settled for the meditation.

The meditation today focused on a full body scan that started at the top of the head and worked its way down to the toes and then back up again.  I ended up cutting off the meditation a few minutes early, though, so that I could spend some time on  my foam roller and work at trying to get that rib back into some semblance of alignment.

Judgement - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Judgement card of the major arcana, which is traditionally interpreted as to do with, well…. judgement.  Also with themes that have to do with absolution and rebirth.

Honestly? Whenever my mind wanders to the traditional interpretations of this card?  I get that line in that old Janet Jackson song filtering through my mind. “What have you done for me lately?”   I feel that the judgement card is about your soul and moral compass, and that it is them saying that line, yeah?   It’s about either “being on track” with what you value and feel is right… or having been lead astray and needing to re-evaluate and come back on track again.

What I see in this card has a bit to do with that, but also with the visit to the bank for today.   It’s about the clubs in the pillars on either side, indicating passion and drive.  And it’s about the flowers that have grown up over the arch while the supports beneath rot away.

The message for me in today’s card is a reminder to make sure that while I am taking care of the present and planning for the future, that I am also protecting that foundation that I care so deeply about.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: What spark is ready for me to ignite with this new moon?

Animal Totem Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: It’s time to find a new way of feeling about things.

Take Away:  This feels like a continuation of the theme of most of yesterday’s readings, in that it speaks of looking at things in a new perspective and finding a new and better way to see things, especially concerning my emotions and my emotional investments.

Things can’t always be perfectly stable, no matter how much I want them to be.  Sometimes you have to let go and start anew, and that’s okay.

DECK USED:  ANIMAL TOTEM TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care this new moon?

Eight Coins Tattoo Tarot

Reading Summary:  These cards match along the same line as a lot of my readings have over the past few days.  They speak of finding the stability I seek by taking a new direction and entertaining new “outside of the box” perspectives and perceptions (Hanged Man).

Take Away:  Sometimes in my strive to develop stability and a solid foundation, I forget that life is about the journey and a big part of that journey is adaptability when confronted with change.   That is a big challenge right now, and I need to stop digging in my heels (and my roots) so stubbornly and allow the changes that need to take place to happen.   Allow them to happen, and focus on adaptation rather than fighting so hard to keep things the same.

DECK USED:  EIGHT COINS TATTOO TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I move through my intuitive blocks?

Tarocco delle Vetrate by Luigi Scapini

Reading Summary:  Taking time for introspection (The Hermit) in times when things feel up in the air (Wheel of Fortune) will allow me to avoid becoming defensive (Seven of Wands), which pulls up walls that muffle my intuition.

Take Away:  One of my largest and most difficult intuitive blocks is the muffling effect my inner walls cause when they are erected as a part of my defense mechanisms when I am feeling uncertain and vulnerable.   The cards indicate if I want to move through that block, it requires introspection and honest reflection, rather than my normal habit of boxing things up and ignoring them as I shove them behind those walls.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DELLE VETRATE BY LUIGI SCAPINI

Searching for Balance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3239Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and focused upon relaxing with an open heart.   It included a lengthy body scan and guided relaxation before moving on to focusing upon opening up the heart chakra and directing caring warmth first to the self, and then outward to others you know, and then the world at large.

I’ve done this sort of meditation before and it’s very relaxing.  That said, I wasn’t particularly fond of the format of the meditation I used today.  It ended too abruptly for my taste, and the narrator was a bit too… measured and emotionless.

Ace of Swords - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of new beginnings, potential, and the planting of seeds in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, and communication with others.

The imagery in this card makes me connect more to the energy of the Knight of Swords than the Ace, though. I see strength and movement and power.  I also can see vulnerability, though.  Although the unicorn is powerful and the girl is not shielded from the flying arrows and battle around her.   She clings to the mount, but she is bare of foot and without armor.

The message that I see in this card is about balance.  Yes, it’s important to go after what you want, but do not become so focused upon the prize that you forget you are more than just a knight… you are also a vulnerable in a nightgown clinging to a unicorn.  It’s okay to be soft.  It’s okay to be gentle and vulnerable .  It is possible to be both vulnerable… and strong.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How am I being invited to make space for rest at this time?

New Choice Tarot de Marseille

Reading Summary: All of this defensive energy (Seven of Wands) birthed by the present uncertainty (La Lune) is here to teach me (Le Pope) how to better enjoy my down times (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  Okay, so this is a crap-ass way to learn a new lesson, but I do understand.  I understand that I need to let up.  I understand that there’s nothing I can do now to protect myself from what may come.  Not in this instance.  I understand that I just need to sit back and wait.   The problem is… that is not in my nature. It goes against everything I have ever been. 

And that’s the point.  I have to learn something else.  Something new.  Something different. Even if I have to fight tooth and nail the whole way through the lesson to get there.

DECK USED:  NEW CHOICE TAROT DE MARSEILLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best improve in that area? (Built of yesterday’s cards.)

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary:  Focus on my skills and those things under my control (Eight of Discs). Take time to plan ahead (Two of Wands), but not from a defensive stance, but from one of innovation toward the future (Page of Discs).

Take Away:  This is what I am trying to keep my focus on during this time. Because I am unable to simply sit and wait, I am trying to keep my focus on prepping for the future and planning for when things lift and settle again. I want to be able to hit the ground running when things get to a point where I’m able to do just that.  Instead of entertaining paranoia and catastrophizing worry… I need to keep my eyes on what I can do instead of what I can’t.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I use my senses to tune into my intuition?

Les Métamorphoses du Jour Tarot

This is about doing what I’ve been doing. It’s about not allowing uncertainty to throw up walls that my intuition is then muffled by.    This isn’t about my  other senses, as I had thought that it would be.  I thought that the cards would speak to me about the five senses of smell and touch, hearing and taste and sight.

Instead, this is about allowing my intuition freedom from the walls that muffle and contain when they rise up in order to protect myself from the unknown.

DECK USED:  LES METAMORPHOSES DU JOUR TAROT

Soaking Up Some Vitamin D

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was delayed until tonight when I go to bed because today has been quite busy and just didn’t have the time (or want to take time from other things, if I’m honest) to settle in and do the meditation earlier in the day.  Morning meditation is definitely more beneficial for me, though, on a whole.

The Sun - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Sun card, which is a representation of themes that include optimism,  fun, and positivity.

I still don’t see that in this card, to be honest.  But that seems to be the theme of this deck as a whole that my intuitive hits upon the imagery are of an entirely different vein than traditional meanings, or even the meanings in the book that came with the deck.

What I see in the imagery of this card today has to do with the defensive stance of the woman in the card, and the radiant power behind her.  That power feels like it is empowering her and providing strength.

What I see here is that I need some time outside, and… that’s fitting since that’s exactly what went on today.   Not around people…. okay so mostly not around people.   I took my sister and Z to the woods for a walk and we stopped over at the wetlands to enjoy some sun as well.     There were no other people around, and it was a nice (and needed) outing that seems to have given not just our bodies but our souls a refreshing breath of fresh air.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: What am I being invited to reflect upon this spring?

Tarocco degli Animali

Reading Summary: How I do things and how I can do them differently (l’Appeso) and better (La Giustizia) in order to get more out of life (Four of Cups) and foster a better outcome (La Torre Rx).

Take Away:  At the beginning of the year, I wanted to start restructuring how I did things with my business, but it had to be put off because of that fog of fear created as the reactions to last fall’s letter caught up with me.   Now, I am essentially being forced into slowing down and the cards are indicating that this situation is the prime opportunity I need to begin looking at making some changes  to better balance not just my business, but my home life as well.  It’s time to start looking at how I can do things differently moving forward, and start considering what small changes I can start making to move toward that vision.

DECK USED:  TAROCCO DEGLI ANIMALI

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my greatest weakness?

Wildwood Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation: Letting my thoughts run away with me until I’m so wrapped up in them and so worked up by them that I’m stuck in a state of catastrophizing.

Take Away:  So I readily admit this is absolutely something that I do… and yet even though I am aware I do it and don’t particularly find it at all wise or useful?  I still somehow manage to do it anyway.  I think it might be a part of the cycle of how I motivate myself to do shit I don’t really want to do… but turned into an avenue that becomes a detriment rather than useful.

DECK USED:  WILDWOOD TAROT (TRIMMED)

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Draw a card and record the feelings you experience.

Jonasa Jaus TarotShe is protected and can therefore let go and be free.  She is sensual, and he is rapt. He watches on, holding flowers that are just for her… even if the truth is she handed them to him to hold for her rather than them being a gift.  The true gift here is his protection

The dynamic between the cards feels like a romance.  A secret love not acted upon by either party due to station, or due to the sweet taste of drawing out the temptation into a seduction all its own.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT