Alan Tarot

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

SCS

Earth – The Hierophant and The Lovers – Remember that you are in the process of learning how to be open and how to choose love. How to choose emotion and not just logic and intuition. Take time to recognize that on this path of emotional growth you’ve been on, the emotional factors aren’t going to stay in a nice little box away from the other areas of my life.  This isn’t something you can compartmentalize, so when emotions start to make themselves known in the areas of your life that you’re used to being very steadily grounded… don’t panic.  And don’t close down.  Ride it out instead and choose to stay open.

Air – Seven of Diamonds and Blossom – These cards are all about growth, and relate back to what was said in the Earth section of this reading in that you need to make sure you aren’t reacting negatively to this phase of natural growth.  You’ve been on this path for a long time now, but that doesn’t mean growing pains still aren’t possible or won’t happen.  Just remember to stay focused on what you want to come out as the end result.

Water – Nine of Hearts and Passage –  Again we hearken back to the lesson in the Earth section of this reading.  Here in the place of emotion  and relationships we see a card of passage that moves us from a place of darkness to one of light joined with a card signifying emotional harmony.  That emotional harmony is the goal that you seek.  The cards here indicate that you might feel some confusion or disillusionment this week, but you need to keep your eye on the prize.

Fire – Death and Potential – With every change, a new opportunity is born.  Again we have a card here that speaks of gradual change.  In the Air section this was about growth, but here we see the death of what is being left behind, and the seed of something new.  During the week ahead, consider what things relating to your drive and your business that you want to let go of.  Only by letting go can you make room for something new.

Waning – Wing Taps – This week is going to test your calm and your resolve to stick with the changes and growth that you’ve chosen to follow through with.  It may be stressful, and you’ll probably have some trouble dealing with your anxiety.

Waxing – Squirrel Smells – Centering and grounding will be extremely important this week in keeping things calm and collected and your anxiety at bay.  Make sure to meditate, and use mindfulness exercises with your senses to bring you into the here and now when things begin to feel overwhelming.

Take Away – Stress and anxiety this week are going to make it difficult to stay open and allow your emotional growth to continue to have the reigns.  It’s going to start showing in other areas of your life and don’t let that freak you out.  Use your meditation practice as well as mindfulness based centering and grounding techniques to help yourself in staying calm and open to the changes taking place.

DECKS USED: ALAN TAROT, ROOTS AND WINGS ORACLE, MINDFUL KIDS CARDS BY LITTLE RENEGADES

No Crown Please

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IMG_5933Today’s meditation was eleven minutes long and was a combination of a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching.   After the advice of my Self Care Saturday reading this week, I was planning to incorporate some selenite and black tourmaline into my meditation, but I forgot.   I’ll do that tomorrow.

The topic of the guided meditation today was about allowing yourself to accept those things you don’t like about yourself, essentially accepting your shadow side, so that you can become a stronger and more completely whole person through the healing that that acceptance inspires.

Tarot of the Sidhe - The EmperorToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of authority and leadership in the form of a “father” figure.  This is the father that rules with an iron fist, and yet always with the best interests of his family in his heart. Strong, and filled with determination, discipline, and control.

I don’t usually consider chaos a part of the Emperor card, but the imagery on this card very much strikes me as… chaotic. It reminds me of the representation of this card in the Japaritze Tarot, where the title of the card is “War” instead of “The Emperor”.

What I see here is chaos. And sacrifice. All for the greater good. And unlike chaos on its own, that is definitely something I feel is a part of the Emperor’s representation.

In this imagery, the flaming emperor’s robes slowly disintegrate into detritus on the earthen floor, creating the nutrients to grow fruit and other foods for the village in the distance. It’s true what they say that heavy is the head that wears the crown, for he burns with his responsibilities, and fulfills them by giving away pieces of himself and what is his.

The message here in this card today is to be grateful I am not the Emperor, and a reminder that that is not a position I want to be in. I put my all into the things that I hold dear and feel are my responsibilities, but I don’t want to give so much that it damages me in the process.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How might clinging to that expectation of the healing process hinder my healing?

Tabula Mundi In Minima

Reading Summary: There’s no rest involved (Four of Swords Rx), creating a lack of true progress (Ten of Cups), which then leaves me having to start over (Ace of Disks).

Take Away:  My expectation (which was outlined in yesterday’s reading) is to fast, which means I don’t get the rest I need to heal properly.  Healing requires rest, and without the healing you can’t move forward out of the recovery stage and into something better.  This means that when you rush healing from trauma, the healing ends up incomplete and you end up having to start over.

DECK USED:  TABULA MUNDI IN MINIMA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #2
Question: Is my aunt moving out here from out east going to cause more problems between my mother and I?

Encore TarotReading Summary: Stand strong and stable (Four of Coins) in your place of power (Palace of Wands) and don’t allow her to take over (The Chariot).

Take Away:  The cards here indicate that in order to keep the peace, using my business as an excuse for lack of contact is the best strategy to make sure I’m able to keep my distance, regardless of the new proximity. So the answer here is that it is possible, but I have a good chance of circumventing a lot of the issues by using my responsibilities to the business to keep me from having to increase my exposure with the unpleasantness too many visits with my aunt and her toxicity.

DECK USED:  ENCORE TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I further strengthen my connection to the divine?

Tarot del Fuego

Reading Summary:  Make yourself comfortable (Four of Pentacles). Less harsh judgments (Judgement), more hope (The Star). Allow yourself to open up not just spiritually… but also physically (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is about increasing my meditation practice, and making sure I stay on top of keeping my negative self narrative in check. By increasing the intent in my meditation and taking time to allow myself to not just do the meditation but really sink into it and get comfortable in it each time, I am opening myself up to divinity on a bigger and more significant level than the simple meditation that I regularly do each day.

By the same turn, my negative self talk is something that closes me off from both my inner self as well as from the divine.  So if I want to connect more strongly to the divine, it makes sense that I would need to foster more positive connections to both my spirituality and optimism, and let go of the negative self narrative that is one of my most self destructive habits.

DECK USED:  TAROT DEL FUEGO

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I be kinder to myself and to others?

Alan Tarot

To Be Kinder to Myself
Two of Spades, Five of Spades

To be kinder to myself, I need to make a concentrated and conscious choice to move past what makes me so cruel to myself. These judgements and negative self talk are not mine but belong to a place in my past where I had no control and was other the boot of another. Defeat the echoes of his voice in my head, and take away the spoils (your gained wisdom).

To Be Kinder to Others
Knight of Spades, Page of Hearts

To be kinder to others, I need to remember to take my experiences with pain and carry them forward into a place of understanding and warmth when dealing with others.  I’ve been through a lot, and this allows me a place of not just sympathy, but also empathy, with a lot of situations others are dealing with. Instead of looking at these situations as “I made it through, so can you” a better aspect to look at is to try and remember how I felt in these situations in the moment, and conveying to them that I understand what they’re going through and it’ll be okay.

DECK USED:  ALAN TAROT

Pay Closer Attention

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was focused upon pain reduction through pranayama (breathing exercises). Honestly? I was having a bit of an anxious morning to begin with, as my family doctor’s phone was on the fritz and when I tried to call there was a “this line is no longer in service”.  It gave me a serious “oh fuck” moment as I worried if I was going to be able to get my refills.  (It’s all sorted now. I ran down there and talked to the receptionist in person. Apparently they’re having “phone problems”.)

Next World Tarot - Two of SwordsToday’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of struggling with a difficult choice and weighing your options in an effort to come to a decision.  It can also indicate an avoidance of making a choice, as is demonstrated by the blindfold.

Okay so… I didn’t see the significance of this when I pulled the card this morning.  I didn’t even guess that the fact that the rock the woman is sitting on looks like a toilet would be a warning of what was to come today.   Totally missed that message until it was too late.

And then… I look closer and realize that it actually is a toilet.  Jesus christ I really wasn’t paying attention this morning.

Right.  Tummy problems.  Today’s message was to watch out for tummy problems.  I did not listen… and I’m now paying the price.

Okay, really tho.   Today’s message is about making good choices.  I made a really bad choice today and the card gave me a very literal warning that I completely missed until it was too late.   It’s all about the good choices.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: Why have I struggled to hear anxiety’s messages in the past?

Tarot of Why

Reading Summary: Because the newness of it (Ace of Swords) has blinded me (Eight of Swords) and causes a need to regroup (Four of Swords).  This then smothers out the light (The Sun) by muffling my motivation (Knave of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  When a spike of anxiety happens, it feels like it’s coming out of the blue.  It’s painful and so “new” feeling that it leaves me stumbling blindly, as if reeling from a blow.  Because I react in this way, I then need recovery afterward, which steals away motivation and muffles out opportunities for more positive experiences.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WHY

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Use Care / Be Carefree

Stunning TarotUse Care – Warrior of Swords – Use care both in your ambition but also in your comebacks. When you quip, sometimes it can be taken as more cutting than you intend it to be. Make sure that you are not getting so focused on your ambitions that you lose track of everything else around you.

Be Carefree – Three of Swords – You worry too much.  You spend too much time focusing on the negative and viewing the world through a pessimistic lens.  Stop closing your eyes to all of the good that surrounds you and work at being more carefree in enjoying things from a more positive and optimistic viewpoint

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Water, when I am ready to release and flow, what should I know?

Alan Tarot

Reading Summary: There are always going to be others that care about me (Two of Hearts) and have the same vision as I do to help me along the way in my endeavors (Three of Diamonds).  Make sure that you aren’t leaving these people behind in your effort to find something better (Six of Spades).

Take Away:  “Release and Flow” is such a foreign concept to me. But the advice here makes sense.  If “release and flow” means going with the flow to move on from something crappy into a better situation, then it’s important not to leave those behind that are your support system and have a piece of your heart in their hands.  They should be along with you for the ride.

DECK USED:  ALAN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What are my gifts?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: Diving into creative endeavors and passionate goals (Knight of Wands). Knowing when to cut and run (Six of Swords)… and when to stay and fight (Five of Swords).

Take Away:  Sometimes a gift can also be a curse, and the first part of the answer for this question is definitely one of those.  The gift of being able to hone in on my focus and plow into my intent, to go after what I want with single minded determination is both a gift… and a curse.  Because when you have that kind of focus, and that kind of drive?  Sometimes you forget about all the other important things that need to be tended to as well.

The second gift is the ability to know when it’s time to walk away, and when it’s time to stay and fight.  When I walk away, I do so for good reason.  It’s for my own health and well-being, and I rarely look back on these decisions.  On the other side of this coin, when I dig in my heels and decide to stay and fight for something I believe in, I become relentless in that and the determination and conviction I bring with me into these situations more often than not turns the table to my benefit.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

Growth and Experimentation

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Today’s meditation was a shortie at only eight minutes long, primarily because I just couldn’t seem to convince the girls (including Miss Luna) to leave me alone long enough to get in a full meditation.  It was still quite nice, but at the same time, aggravating due to the interruptions.

Tarot of the Sidhe - Maker Princess - Page of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Maker Princess (Page of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the areas of manifestation and creation, finances and resources, as well as hearth, health, and home.

The “Gift of Creativity” is a terrific prompt for this card, as is the Fae burdened with pregnancy.   The Page of Pentacles is a card filled with possibilities.  It indicates a time of learning, of growth, and of manifestation that is very eloquently expressed through the swollen belly of pregnancy… the ultimate act of manifestation.

This is the message of today’s card (not the pregnancy).  It’s about potential, and about allowing yourself to be open to learning and growing, so that  not just you grow, but your potential grows with you.

Whether you are creating another person, a piece of artwork, an opportunity for others, or your own comfortable nest… the act of manifesting something out of nothing is a miracle.  It takes growth and experimentation.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: How can I reframe the maintenance of boundaries as a necessary act of self-acceptance?

El Gran Tarot Esoterico

Reading Summary: To have joy (The Sun) you have to actually choose joy (Two of Swords) which means having faith (The Star) that that joy is OK and will lead to a good place (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  Sometimes you have to take a blind step forward in the direction you think is right.  For me, joy is like that. My background makes it hard for me to grasp that joy can lead to positive growth towards my goals.   It’s hard to understand this because I have always been taught both through my youth and experience, that when you want something?  You work for it.  To me, joy and “working for it” seem incongruous. So in order to have the things I want… a lack of joy is necessary.

The cards here indicate that is not the case, and that I need to take that blind step forward to embrace joy and have faith that it will lead me to the stability I want… joy included.

DECK USED:  EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where could I benefit from a new perspective at this time?

Anthro TarotReading Summary: If the uncertainty that’s coming actually happens (The Moon) you need to embrace it and move into it with purpose (Knight of Wands), because it might actually end up being a good thing in the end (Queen of Cups).

Take Away:  There is a possibility that having to move could put me into a position where I’m even happier and in a better, more emotionally strengthened position than the one I’m in now. Although the possibility is still a long way off, if it’s going to happen at all… if it does come to pass, I need to embrace what I see as an uncertainty and a hurdle as a challenge, and move forward with purpose.

In other words, stop looking at this as an upcoming catastrophe and push yourself towards seeing it as an opportunity.  If the rumors that you hear come to be something real and moving ends up being necessary, embrace that with open arms and move forward into the project with purpose.

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question:  What am I currently manifesting? What am I moving past?

Vivid Journey TarotWhat am I currently manifesting? – Knight of Wands – I’m working on taking control and actively preparing for the holiday rush to come.  Although at this moment, I’m taking a few days off, even now I’m planning and preparing, just in a less stressful or aggressive way.

What am I moving past? – Two of Swords – Prior to finally feeling the pull to start preparing for the holiday rush, I felt I was in a moment of limbo and struggling with a bit of lack of direction. Although I was aware of this, I wasn’t really paying much attention to it, but the Two of Swords is a very good representation of that momentary lack of direction.

DECK USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I love about me?

Alan Tarot

Reading Summary:   I am constantly fed by and inspired by (Ace of Hearts) my connection with the natural world and my spiritual path (The Star), which carries me forward with confidence in the direction I have chosen (Three of Clubs)

Take Away:  This is about my certainty upon my path.  It’s about knowing who I am and where I “fit”… and what fits for me. It’s about hearing that inner voice and following its guidance without fear of it being wrong or doubt in what it says.

I’ve never had a hard time in following that compass, or allowing myself to be pulled upon my spiritual path in the direction that feels right for me.  I see a lot of people struggle with these things, and I am extremely grateful that it is not one of my own personal struggles.

DECK USED:  ALAN TAROT

A Sense of Community

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Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long and was very restless and uncomfortable.  It wasn’t pain that was causing it, but the fact that I knew I had a lot of work to get done and just could not manage to put it out of my mind long enough to get in a peaceful ten minutes.  Hopefully I won’t be pulling an all nighter tonight, and will have a chance to do a do-over before bed.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the Three of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of collaborative efforts in the areas of finances, resources, home life, health, and  manifestations.

This card’s imagery takes this from the scope of small groups collaborating with each other as is often where the mind first goes when seeing the traditional imagery for the Three of Pentacles, and opens it up into a community scope, which I really like.  It allows for a larger perspective, and encourages one to look beyond more minimal interpretations that you usually see come from the Three of Pentacles.

What I feel is the message of this card today is that it takes a community to create a community.  It takes people willing to come together to support a singular goal.  And, I think that this is something I want to discuss with L, because I feel like I want to encourage her to volunteer to be a part of our building’s council.

There’s been a lot of distance and lack of communication lately where the building is concerned, and I have a feeling she’d be a good addition and terrific at helping in getting the building back to feeling like a community again.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: What pressing need of mine am I overlooking?

Stunning Tarot

Reading Summary:  Both slow growth (Seven of Pentacles) and eventual success (Nine of Pentacles both require A certain amount of controlled finesse.

The yellow combined in the second and third card creates a connection there that indicates we often need to look back at the past in order to build towards the future, and once success is obtained you need to continue to have an awareness of the past, but juggle it with future vision.

Take Away:  This is a direct response to my rant yesterday about the influence of parents on your foundation. The cards here are indicating that no matter how much you grow or how far you move forward in life towards something better, those things that made you bleed from your past are still going to be an influence and continue to be relevant.

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Retreat / Hold Ground / Advance

Encore TarotRetreat – Three of Swords – Retreat from the pessimism and negativity that have the ability to draw me down into the pit of despair and depression.

Hold Ground – Page of Cups – Hold my ground with my creative endeavors. Explore and have fun with it and don’t allow it to become too staid and serious.

Advance – Knight of Cups – Advance in my emotional growth. Pay attention to those things that make me feel good and create a positive emotional response… and go after them instead of disregarding them as frivolous.

DECK USED:  ENCORE TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: How can the element of Fire boost my (creative) energy?

Tarot del Fuego

Reading Summary: Allows me to identify my hearts desires (King of Cups), and use both my heart and gut (imagery in the Nine of Pentacles), to go after what I want and achieve my goals (Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away: Fire allows me to identify what my heart and soul wants. Rather than getting wrapped up in the mind and logic, the fire in my soul gives me the spark to go after those things and manifest them into reality.

DECK USED:  TAROT DEL FUEGO

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What drains my energy?

Alan Tarot

Reading Summary: Impatience (Eight of Clubs) concerning my creative endeavors and explorations (Page of Hearts). I’m not giving myself enough nurturing rest (The Empress).

Take Away:  What is currently draining my energies is twofold.  First and foremost, is the lack of rest and nurturing care directed toward myself.  Added to this is the fact I’m pushing too hard.  I need to spread out my efforts over a longer period of time instead of cramming them into a single day twice a week and pushing myself on those days until they turn into an all-day-and-all-nighter.

DECK USED:  ALAN TAROT

Do What You Love

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was one of the harp string meditations.  I didn’t extend my yoga/physiotherapy today, and so I didn’t extend my meditation either.  It was a relaxing process, and for once I didn’t have a lot of distracting thoughts dragging me off center again and again.  It was also nice that Miss Luna came to snug up beside me while I meditated today, which isn’t something she does usually during my meditation time. During this time she usually settles in at the foot of the bed a few feet from me instead.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s drive, passion, and that inner spark in the soul that spurs on one’s interests and enthusiasm.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the little green leaf on the staff the figure holds, and the little green lizards.   This is in relation to the very apocalyptic looking surroundings they are in the middle off.  The environment is filled with litter, the bridge in the background appears dilapidated. And yet… there is life here. Not just in the figure that is front and center, but also the lizards that surround her, the sprigs of new leaves on the staff in her hand, and the small tattered looking flowers among the scattered rubble.

This speaks to me of perseverance. Even when everything falls apart?  That inner spark within you will help you to survive, to carry on, and even to thrive under these conditions. This inner spark that lives within your soul is the seat of one’s adaptability as well as the source of life’s burning drive to survive at all costs.  Feed this inner spark the things you love to do… and it will turn into a blaze that will burn through adversity.

Do what you love.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I feel like I’m struggling to see clearly.
Question: How would my life improve if I accepted that reality is inherently subjective and clarity is a myth?

Vivid Journey Tarot

Reading Summary: A crap load of misunderstandings (Five of Wands) and spurred on by clouded judgments (Judgement) making for feelings of defensiveness (Nine of Wands) that get in the way of positive relationships and good choices (The Lovers). Creating imbalance (Two of Pentacles Rx).

Take Away: When you accept that clarity is a myth, you stop striving for it. Yes, perfect clarity is unattainable because we are not omni-cognizant. But, that does not mean that we should not strive for perspectives beyond our own so that we can get a better idea of what’s going on and, as a result, obtain more clarity than we have when we are closed-mindedly willing to only look at our own view and our own perspective.

Once again, I think I missed the point of the question. I understand these questions are supposed to lead people to a healthier outlook, but all I see this question doing is leading them to a more close minded outlook and lack of perspective.

DECK USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Hold Tight / Let Breathe / Set Free

Alan Tarot - Il Tarocchi di AlanHold Tight – The World – I need to hold tight to my path and the knowledge that each day is a new day.  Life goes through cycles, and with each cycle we learn and evolve, becoming more than we were before. My chosen path through these cycles is to improve… to become better.  Better at the things I do, better at my influence on others, better at being myself, and an all around better person.

Let Breathe – Knight of Spades and Seven of Heart – I need to ease up on the idea that I always have to move forward and choose which direction to go in right away. So often we feel like every decision needs to be made right away, and that can feel overwhelming. It’s okay to move slow and mull over your choices before making a decision. Giving yourself some space by being a bit less impulsive in your decision making process is a good thing.

Set Free – The Chariot – I need to let go of the idea that participating in any kind of conflict actually gets me somewhere. Things like blatant disrespect or perceived injustices can often cause me to get my back up. The thing is?  During these moments I want to jump in, in that moment, and give a bit of a verbal “smack down” for that kind of thing. But, that is rarely a wise choice and rarely gets you anywhere.

DECK USED:  ALAN TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Earth, I ground myself in you. What is your message for me?

Encore Tarot

Reading Summary: Instilling more joy and positivity (The Sun) will allow you to triumph (Five of Swords) in your work life (Eight of Coins).

Take Away: The message here is to remember that doing what you love is supposed to be fun.  Too often I get so wrapped up in the “work” side of things that I forget to truly focus on and appreciate the pleasure that my work gives me.  This includes not just my jewelry design business, but also extends to my work on the farm, at the nail salon, and even into my client readings as well.

DECK USED:  ENCORE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I feel when I look inside myself?

Tabula Mundi Tarot in MinimaReading Summary:  Like an esoteric teacher that is also still learning (Hierophant on its side). Someone that walks their own path (Three of Wands), and has a lot of inner shadows (The Aeon Rx).

Side Note: My first impression of this deck is not particularly positive. The imagery feels chaotic and abrasive. I’ll continue to keep it in the rotation for the month, tho, as I need some time with it to get to know it a bit better.

Take Away:  The cards indicate that I identify with being a guide and teacher, but only when I feel that I am learning from others as much as I am giving to them in turn.  The cards indicate as well that when looking inside myself I can clearly see and feel that I have a clear path and direction to my life, but that my soul is clouded by shadows.

DECK USED:  TABULA MUNDI TAROT IN MINIMA