More Grounding, Less Fukery

TToday’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon balancing your own self care with that of caring for others.

Although my personal self care is usually sacrificed under the altar of fiscal responsibility, this does come a close second for me.  Especially with those that I am close with like my sister, and… reluctantly, my mother.

I’m aware that I’ve fallen into a bit of a self-neglect mode the last few days…er, weeks. And that has started to awaken my self destruct tendencies.  SO I’m doing my best to try and force myself into doing the self-care things I need, whether I’m really up for it or not.

Essentially, that is what today’s meditation was about.  Taking care of yourself.  Making sure you’re okay so that you can help others be okay too.  Sort of like putting on your oxygen mask on a plane before you help others with putting on theirs.

Temperance - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Temperance card, which is traditionally a representation of themes concerning moderation and balance in all things.

As I’ve written recently in a previous post, balance requires constant adjustment, compensation, and compromise in order to make it work.  The imagery that stands out to me in this card is very much focused upon the two cups, but also the sparks of light that surround the angel. Sparks that appear to be made of the same essence of what is in the cups.

The message here is that yes, things feel like they are falling apart, and my scales of balance are way off kilter at the moment… but this is temporary.  Finding balance might take a bit of effort and careful experimentation, but I will find a way to keep the scales balanced if I work at it with patience and a calm, clear mind.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I distinguish between healthy enthusiasm and potentially destructive impulsivity?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Lack of Impulse

Take Away:  There is no impulse in these cards.  There’s no pounce and GO to them.  Even in the page where things are new and enthusiastic, it is in the grounded and steady suit of Pentacles.   What I see here is that if I want to tell the difference between healthy enthusiasm and destructive impulse, it’s in that lack of impulsiveness.  It’s in having forethought and grounded enthusiasm combined with that inner compass of right and wrong.  It’s grounded and solid, not flighty and impetuous.

DECK USED:  REIGNING ROUGE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where do I need more support?

Janasa Jaus Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Try again.  STOP being such a dick to yourself.  You’re tired and frustrated.  That’s okay, but it’s time to let go of the blame.

Take Away:  There is a need to bear down on practical actions in order to get myself through the “weeds” of the situation that I currently find myself in and not allow myself to fall into a place of self recriminations and self destruction.  Everyone is fucked right now. It’s not just me.  The economy and the health crisis, the whole thing. It’s a mess.  I didn’t cause it, I didn’t DO anything wrong.  There is absolutely nothing to beat myself up about.

These cards are telling me to not let that inner prick that likes to pick on myself take control even if it means enlisting the help of others to make that happen.  Stay grounded and keep moving forward.  You might not be able to see the end of the field through the tall grass, but it’s there… just make sure each step you take in getting there is based in the solid footing of practicality…. and for fuck sake, get yourself on a schedule already so you can move at a steady, dependable pace.

DECK USED:  JONASA JAUS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Activity
: Draw 1-3 cards. What symbols speak most strongly to you in today’s card(s)?

A Darisa Tarot: The Lomisht

Reading Summary:   What stands out to me in these cards most strongly is the blood in the first card and how it matches the hues of the last card, but how the color scheme of the first matches the scheme of the second.  There is also a personal draw to the rain represented in the middle card, which to me represents a kind of contentment that goes beyond having “everything” and into a pleasure you can only have when having nothing.  This creates an interesting connection between the cards that indicates the beginning of a relationship rather than coming to the end of a cycle as the center card would normally indicate.   The concrete tablet in the last card stands out to me as well, speaking of road blocks between the flames of one’s aspirations and themselves if the sacrifice hinted at by the blood of the first card is not met.

Message in the Cards:  Sometimes partnerships take a bit of sacrifice in order to make them flourish and come out with positive results in the end.

DECK USED:  A DARISA TAROT: THE LOMISHT

 

Stop. Breathe. Indulge… Just a Little.

Today’s meditation was nonexistent.  Not because I didn’t have time but because I was lazy and enthused and just… unmotivated.  I didn’t do it.   My head is also killing me and has been for a couple of days now.  Although, that’s probably not an excuse because chances are that the meditation would help with my stress and anxiety levels.  As I’m writing this post a day late, I am not able to do it before bed, of course, because the day is now gone already.

The Empress - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is The Empress card, which is traditionally a representation of nurturing energy, mothering themes, and earthy abundance.

I really love the imagery of this card with the beautiful vulnerability of the woman’s nude form before the mirror and the abundance of earthy green hair full of flowers, to the enraptured little elf peering down from above.  What really stands out to me in this card today, though, is her hand upon the mirror.

This speaks to me not so much about the need to nurture others, but to create some nurturing kindness for myself.  This is something I’m not particularly skilled at, but that is important… maybe even more important now when my anxiety and stress is so high and everything is up in the air.   Today’s card is a reminder of this need, and an encouragement to make time for myself and that need for a little extra self care and indulgence.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I best feed that flame? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

A Darisa Tarot: The Lomisht

Interpretation:  Remember where you want to go and that sometimes things have to end in order to start anew with something better.  Embody ownership of your emotions and go after what you want with this new start.  Now is the chance to build a new foundation and reorganize upon it a new way of doing things going forward.

DECK USED:  A DARISA TAROT: THE LOMISHT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where am I spiritually at this time?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Interpretation:  I am struggling with the transition from how things were to how they are now.  It feels like it all happened to fast and has left me reeling. Because of that I am feeling a sense of uncertainty that spreads into my spiritual self.   Not that my faith is lacking, but it is as if the uncertainty of everything else has polluted even this, where that uncertainty is rooted in how quickly things can change and fall apart.

DECK USED:  REIGNING ROUGE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: What does it feel like to know something for sure?

Celtic Dragon Tarot

Reading Summary: A sense of ownership and capability (The Magician) even when something is new (Page of Pentacles). When that “something” rests within my wheelhouse. (Three of Pentacles)

Take Away:  What this boils down to is a combination of certainty rooted in my skills and abilities and the ownership of those skills and abilities in a way that keeps me feeling on solid footing to a point that there is no longer any doubt.

DECK USED:  CELTIC DRAGON TAROT

 

Open Mind, Open Heart… No Walls

1EXqUjKyraQ3_bjXxPF4-dLhWWNpAE1bbD8QjOBu9ThecPKKYXPrbC9fRUC7p3hi9SPGTgbR9Today’s meditation was just under twelve minutes long and focused on fostering trust in yourself,  your decisions, and your intuition.   We all have moments of self doubt, but some more than others.  And the more you devalue yourself, the harder it is to find that trust.

The guided meditation spoke on how sometimes, when you are feeling it that difficult to connect and trust your perceptions or your judgement, it’s okay.  To build that trust back up, that first step can be as simple as accepting that things could be worse.  Whatever choices you have made helped you avoid those scenarios that could be worse than the one you are now in.   So take a breath and be kind to yourself, and give yourself a little credit.

Seven of Cups - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Seven of Cups, which is traditionally a card that is a representation of being overwhelmed by choices, or having so many options that you need to take a moment to make the best decision available to you.

The cards in this deck seem to do this to me a lot, but what I see most in this card has more to do with the open mouth of the fish at the woman’s feet than with the cups or the traditional meaning.   The strength of the draw to that open mouth speaks very strongly to me, and has its own voice that blends with that of the card’s more common interpretation.   That is to say, the message that I see conveyed in this card today is that sometimes the obvious answer is not the right answer.

I don’t think that this is in reference to any one aspect of my life in the moment, but I do see a great deal of value in the reminder.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in habits and routine that we forget to look around and see if there’s a better way.  Perhaps it’s time that I do just that.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: What might that readjustment look like in action? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

A Darisa Tarot, The Lomisht

Reading Summary: To connect more strongly with my emotional side to the point where I can more easily communicate what’s going on, I need to do what I do in order to connect with my intuition (Eight of Wind), and ensure that even when I am feeling at my worst I am reaching for the sun (The Sun over Ten of Wind).  This will foster a stabilization and clarity of thought that will make room for me to build that stronger connection (Liege of Wind).

Take Away:  Lots of swords here… the cards are an indication that a lot of what’s holding me back from connecting and communicating my more emotional self is the overbearing demands of my mind.   Much like with when people struggle connecting to their intuition, I am letting my mind overpower and essentially “speak over” my emotional voice.  In order to be able to better connect with an express my emotions therefore, I need to harness the mind and force it to step back.

DECK USED:  A DARISA TAROT – THE LOMISHT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What area of my life needs some extra attention?

Reigning Rouge Tarot

Reading Summary: These cards are referencing hidden emotions that are preparing to spill over (Ace of Cups), because I haven’t taken enough time looking ahead and planning (Three of Wands) which is going to end up feeling like I shot myself in the foot (Seven of Swords).

Take Away:  Yeah…. I’m going to have to do some digging on this.  Preferably before I get to the shooting myself in the foot part of the equation.  I think the lack of foresight is going to be about the upcoming issues caused by the current health scare going on.  It’s going to screw me over (just like so many others) when I can’t make income and that is sure to effect me pretty negatively on an emotional level.   I’d like to address the emotional side of things before the cup actually tips over and everything spills out in a mess, I’m just not sure if that’s going to be possible.

DECK USED:  REIGNING ROUGE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: Ask the high priestess card “How can I listen to my intuition more?”

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary: Work at not falling into bad habits that promote the blocking my intuition… things like anxiety (Nine of Swords) and hiding behind inner walls of apathy (Four of Cups).

Take Away:  Those inner walls have slowly been coming down over time as you dig and play sledgehammer at them over the past twelve years.   Over the last few years, it’s become very apparent that those walls had muffled more than just my emotions, but also my intuition to an extent.     Anxiety is one of the triggers that makes me try to erect those walls and hide behind them, because I feel the need to appear calm, even when I am anything but.   The advice of the High Priestess is to not retreat. Do not resurrect those walls.  Do not hide behind those walls that remain.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

 

Work and Play

Today’s meditation has once again been delayed to the end of the day.  That said?  At least I’m still fitting in meditation at all, considering how hard its been to find the time and make the opportunity to get it done.

Page of Cups - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Page of Cups, which is most commonly read as an omega energy, personality, or person in the areas of emotion, relationships, and intuition.  This often translates into themes concerning potential, possibility, and themes of curiosity concerning the above mentioned subjects as well as learning from one’s intuition.

What I see in today’s card’s imagery, though, is a bit different than the traditional meanings. In my initial perception of this card today, the bird perched above and singing was equally balanced with the wasp below working away on its nest.  The message here being that work supports fun.  Work supports play.  In order to play, you have to put in the work that gives you the time and opportunity to play.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: What can I do now to clear that up and remove that blockage? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

Tarot of the Silicone Dawn

Reading Summary:  I need to change how I approach this issue (Death) and look at things from a long term view rather than focusing down on the immediate chaos (Seven of Pentacles).  By staying grounded and composed and taking time to reflect on not just the issue but my own capabilities and what is under my personal control (Queen of Pentacles), I will be able to find a better path.

Take Away:  It is definitely possible that I have read far too much in to “the letter” than it was meant to convey. Whether that is their lack of communication skills or my own lack of understanding is irrelevant, as I internalized that miscommunication and now need to go back and do a thorough re-evaluation prior to being able to move forward.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SILICONE DAWN

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I improve upon where I am physically over the week ahead?

A Darisa Tarot: The Lomisht

Reading Summary:  I need to look at the big picture (Seven of Pentacles) and engage my enthusiasm (Ace of Cups) in order to overcome the obstacles of my reluctance and awaken the motivation and discipline to move forward in my efforts (The Chariot).

Take Away:  Okay so I’m very much procrastinating on the whole physical improvement part of self care, if I’m honest with myself.  I keep putting it off “til next week” again and again, because the motivation to get to the gym and put in the work just isn’t there.

Along with the advice the cards provided yesterday concerning including J in the process, today’s cards indicate that if I want to get past this procrastination habit, I need to look beyond the immediate benefits of the gym and weight gain.  Instead, I need to be focusing upon the long term benefits, and opening my heart to wanting them enough to step over that threshold and get going on getting there.

DECK USED:  A DARISA TAROT – THE LOMISHT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How can I use my intuition to guide my life?

Goblin Tarot (RWS Edition)

Reading Summary:  Consider focusing my intuition on more practical matters (King of Pentacles) and achieving my long-term goals (Seven of Pentacles) by allow my intuition to provide direction for ambition (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  When using tarot for myself, a lot of my focus is on self care and self improvement.  The message here is an encouragement to expand that focus to include more earthly pursuits such as topics concerning the running of my business and strategizing to obtain my goals.

Side Note:  Every single reading I’ve done today across multiple decks has had the Seven of Pentacles in it.   This recurring card is an indication that I need to stop focusing on the now, and take a long-term view.   This is not just about one area, but has to do with the mentality that I was stuck in within that fog this winter, and with breaking free of it by looking further than my immediate situation.  None of my goals in life are immediate, so the advice here is to start looking further down the road at where I want to be and how to get there.

DECK USED:  GOBLIN TAROT (RWS EDITION)