Don’t Get Sucked Into the Whirlpool

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and fourteen seconds, and focused on the environment, and how we can care for the environment by focusing on the now and what we do in the present in order to foster a better future.

Oh look! It’s me. It’s funny because the original Rider/Waite/Smith artwork for this card has a woman sitting up in bed with the nine swords stacked on the wall, but her face is resting in her hands. The depiction in the deck, on the other hand, is a woman holding her head in her hands like she has a headache. And, that is exactly how I woke up this morning.

The Nine of Swords Is a representation of fruition and consequences In the area of the thoughts, communication, instinct, and logic.

I believe this ties into The Moon card from yesterday, and this cards aspect of consequences, as the Nine of Swords often indicates that you are letting your worries and anxieties get the best of you and cloud your judgment.

Yesterday’s card (The Moon) warned about taking action without seeing the full picture. Here today we have the Nine of Swords indicating that I don’t have the full picture, as well as pointing out to me that I am stressing out and worrying… and that as a result, I am creating a sense within myself of being overwhelmed.

This card message is to remind me that I need to take a breath. I need to sit back and separate my worries from the facts, and move forward only once I have the correct research in place.

Never having had high cholesterol before, this is a dietary issue I’ve never had to deal with. This means that I have quite a bit of research to accomplish in order to get back on the right track. With my surgery coming up tomorrow and my orders due to go out on Friday, this doesn’t leave me a lot of room for other interests and distractions.

The Nine of Swords is telling me that instead of sitting in my mind and stewing about what’s going on with my health, I should just move forward with the best, most healthy decisions I know of at the moment, and then deal with the research once the next couple of stressful days have passed.

Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot 2019 (Part 2)

Wheel

It’s time to return to Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot challenge. As previously discussed in Part 1 of this series, I’m doing these a bit at a time instead of one a day.

  1. Top 5 decks on your wish list now
    Tyldwick Tarot, Delos Tarot,Β  Les Adorables Tarot, Liminal Tarot (2015 Version), Tarot of the Hidden Folk. These are in order, incidentally, although the Delos and Tyldwick sometimes change places with each other depending on my mood.
  2. Tarot goals 2019
    I really just want to get back on track with my spirituality. I feel a bit like a Christian that’s been “skipping church”. You know, they’re still a Christian, but not practicing? The last two years, that’s been me with my spirituality. Tarot is (and has always been) a part of that spirituality, and my goals for returning to practicing my faith and my tarot practice are intertwined.
  3. Tarot decks that you want to work with more in 2019
    I have a handful of new decks in my collection this year that I’m excited to work with and get to know better. I also have a few that I haven’t used in years that I would like to reconnect with. That list includes (but is not limited to) the Cucoloris Tarot, Alchemical Tarot, True Black Tarot, Anima Mundi Tarot, Crow Tarot, Anna K Tarot, Sacred Circle Tarot (which I recently did a major modification on), and Mary El Tarot.
  4. Oracle decks that you want to work with more in 2019
    Like with the tarot decks listed above, this list is not comprehensive but more of a sampling of decks from a longer list. They include the Moonology Oracle, Roots and Wings Oracle, Empty Cup Oracle, Hedgewitch Botanical Oracle, and the White Hare Wisdom Oracle.
  5. Have you ever dealt with Impostor Syndrome in your Tarot practice?
    I had to look this term up.

    Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts his or her accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be. – Wikipedia

    I’ve had my fair share of times when my self confidence was at its worst and my insecurities were a torment I couldn’t seem to escape. That said? I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this particular issue. I work damn hard for what I have from my physical comforts to my education, and everything in between.

And there you have it, another handful of questions from Ethony’s 31 Days of tarot complete. Like last time, I’ll come back in a few days to make another post to continue the challenge.

Time For a Fact Finding Mission

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and length, and focused on Karma.Β  Not the mass populated theory of Karma and checks and balances of today’s societal views, but the core belief that Karma is, in essence, based on cause and effect.Β  It’s about being mindful and choosing wisely.

Today’s draw is the 18th card of the Major Arcana… The Moon. While each suit of the Minor Arcana deals with a facet of the human experience (cups for emotional, swords for mental, pentacles for the physical, and wands for the inner spiritual), the Major Arcana cards pertain to a bigger picture. They refer to “the grand scheme of things”, rather than any one facet of it.

Because I know you’re going to ask about the lobster, I’m going to explain that here before I go into personalizing the card’s appearance today.Β Β Β  In the original Rider/Waite/Smith depiction, there are a good deal of elements to the card that play with each other to create a tableau.

  • The Moon above represents intuition and dreams.
  • There is a small stream below, which is often read as the subconscious mind
  • A crustacean climbing from the water indicates the beginnings of one’s awareness lifting from the subconscious into the conscious mind.
  • There is a wolf and a dog both facing each other, a representation of one’s moreΒ savage aspects and one’s tamed ones, and that both are on this journey together.
  • There are two towers in the distance, which represent safety and comfort and all that an “easy life” would entail.
  • And there is a path that moves in a zig-zag line directly between these two towers, indicating that one should not base choices on comfort alone.

Taken all together, these elements combine to indicate the subconscious and the early moments of one’s awakening, including the confusion that comes with waking from a deep sleep.Β  It represents the fears and uncertainties and illusions that come from trying to predict the future based upon limited information.

In the Dreaming Way tarot, this card depicts a young woman playing with the crustacean from the long used traditional deck.Β  I interpret this to indicate she toys with her awareness of the world around her and the path ahead, perhaps worrying over what is to come in the way that people often toy with their insecurities and uncertainties.

SO…Β  Having broken that down so that you can better understand the card (and I couldΒ  answer your coming question concerning the lobster), the card ultimately represents uncertainties and illusions caused by assumptions and lack of information.

I believe The Moon card’s appearance in today’s draw is a reminder to not accept assumptions and guesses as reality.

Today, I found out that my cholesterol is through the roof.Β Β  This is a big change from my tests last year, and cause for concern.Β Β  Letting fears and uncertainties and guesswork guide my path will not serve me well. Β  Neither will choosing to ignore the issue and sink into the comfort of ignorance.

I need to do some research into my diet and what has changed in my diet over the past year. Only with sound research instead of guess work and “fumbling around in the dark” will I be able to find what’s going on, and how to fix it.

The Aliens Among Us

Today, I was tagged by Normal Happenings in a writing challenge.

β€œThey”

Detail an experience of yours (real or fiction) so bizarre you think you might have encountered an alien from another world.

So, as usual, when I get put on a spot, my mind draws a blank.Β Β  Don’t you hate that shit?Β Β  Anyway.Β  After half a day of contemplation I finally decided to share what happened to me a few months ago while on the road.

When I first came home from this experience, I shared it with you.Β  I was shaken up (and feeling a little triumphant) and poured it all out.Β Β  Now I’m going to reflect back on that experience here.

So essentially, it boiled down to an experience with road rage.Β Β Β  I was on the highway (two lanes in either direction) on my way back to Seattle from a trip up north.Β Β  The traffic wasn’t particularly heavy and flowing fine, and as usual, I was driving a good ten or fifteen mph over the speed limit.Β  (Yes, I know.Β  I know.)

This speed allows me to move smoothly past cars in either lane without “whipping” from lane to lane like a nutcase.Β  It’s a comfortable speed for me when dealing with a minimum of four to five hours of driving.Β  (I really need teleportation.Β  Seriously.)

Anyway.Β  I had just passed a black truck going a good deal slower than myself.Β  I glanced over my shoulder at the truck as I passed, confirming I’d passed him and was pulling away, then changed lanes.Β Β Β Β  Apparently…. he sped up to try and block me from changing lanes (some people are just assholes and love an opportunity to show it?) and I ended up accidentally cutting him off as I hadn’t realized what he’d done until after the fact.

I had a moment’s grimace and a mental “shit, sorry” moment.Β  It happens.

rage4But this guy took things to a WHOLE new level when he then began first riding my ass, and then trying to change lanes and whip around me to get in front of me.

When I wouldn’t let him in front of me (because hello, erratic behavior at high speeds on a highway is a BAD idea) he then tried running me into the concrete median, then into the ditch a bit later.

I knew letting this guy in front of me on the highway was a bad idea, and I knew that losing him on the highway would be impossible.Β  He was…. I mean, just wow.Β  Erratic, enraged, violently aggressive with that truck of his, and he was going to cause an accident.Β Β Β Β  So, I decided to take an exit and get off the highway in the hopes that maybe I’d be able to lose him somewhere.

Instead, he followed and, in the middle of the street, whipped around me by going into oncoming traffic and then blocked the road with his truck, forcing me to stop in the middle of the street.Β Β  He then proceeded to get out of his truck and start in my direction.

I felt this was a really BAD idea, so I backed up (in the middle of the street).Β  A semi started coming our way, and I guess he figured the current situation was untenable to him, so he got back in the truck.Β Β  While he was getting in his truck, I quickly passed around him and hurried ahead.

He caught up, of course.

To keep hmi from getting in front of me again for a repeat performance, I used the left lane and got right up behind a car.Β  I felt bad riding their ass, but I didn’t want to let him get in front of me again because this had definitely become an issue in personal safety.

For just over 2 miles, I rode this car’s ass while he drove beside me in the right lane with his window down, screaming obscenities at me, flailing out his window, giving me the bird, etc.Β Β Β  TWO MILES!

I then (finally) managed to lose him as, while he was stuck in the right lane (and traffic was becoming more busy so he was definitely going to be stuck in that lane) I used a last-minute redirect before a traffic light to slip into the left turn lane and turn off.Β Β  He was forced to go straight.

Fortunately?Β Β  I have a very innocuous car in a very innocuous color, so once I was away from him, even if he saw my car again there’s a good chance he wouldn’t be able to be sure it was me.Β Β  Just to be safe, though?Β Β  I took an alternate route back to the highway to be back on my way.

In the time since this happened, it has been suggested I should have driven to the police station and pulled into the lot to sit there for a bit.Β Β  And you know what?Β  I really like that idea, and I think that’s exactly what I should have done.Β  Unfortunately, I didn’t think of it at the time.

That said? The focus of this post is on the driver of that truck.Β  He left me shaken and a little freaked out.Β Β  And reflecting back now?Β Β  I sit here wondering… How does anyone get -that- angry?Β  Where does that kind of anger come from?Β  How does someone allow anger to enrage them to the point where your actions are violently aggressive danger to not just yourself or the person you’re upset with, but the population at large?

This type of overwhelming rage is something beyond my scope of understanding, no matter how many times I try to wrap my mind around it.Β  How does the human condition even have room for this type of rage and resulting behavior?

Alien?Β  Absolutely.

 

Move Your Ass

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, And focused on the Japanese theory of kotsu kotsu. This translates into “step by step”, and as a reminder that happiness isn’t reaching the end of the journey but rather is found along the path you take to get there.

Today’s draw is the Eight of Wands, which is a representation of quick and energetic forward movement in the areas of one’s passions and enthusiasm, inspiration, and spirituality.

It represents not just determination, but the forward movement that that determination creates. This is a fire card, as in… “light a fire under your ass”.

The Eight of Wands is a good card for me today. I woke up late and I have been running behind ever since. Today is all about the business and getting my order is ready to go for tomorrow. There’s so much to do on Mondays and Thursdays, and when I fall behind like this morning, it just makes it that much harder to get everything done.

Today’s card is telling me that if I bear down and focus on my goal (getting my orders done and everything ready for tomorrow), I will be propelled forward in that direction.

Are use the word propelled for a reason. There are times when I hit my Mondays or Thursdays with all the determination I can muster and yet I feel like I’m moving through quicksand. No matter how hard I try to catch up (or keep up), it never seems to happen.

The Eight of Wands tells me to stay focused, and that if I do so, today will not end up being one of those days.

Deck Modification Line Up – Spring 2019

So, over the past… oh hell, I don’t know. Few months? I’ve done a long list of deck modifications. Which, to be honest, I’ve really enjoyed.

I don’t modify every deck in my collection, but I’ve found that there are a variety of decks in my collection that I either don’t use for some production value reason (too big, awkward sizing, unfinished looking, distracting borders, titles that don’t “fit” with my reading style, etc). This year I’ve begun going through my collection and picking out the ones that I feel need a little TLC of the “deck mod” variety.

I do have a couple of previous posts [Post 1, Post 2] where I went through a couple of mods. This one will be… bigger. And a lot more comprehensive. But it will not contain the decks previously mentioned as this is more of an update on my progress of going through and altering those I feel need some adjusting.

These will be in alphabetical order (instead of chronological) simply for convenience. (I named the pics for this post with the deck names and so now, in the folder, they’re in alphabetical order.)

Angelarium_Eminations

First up is the Angelarium: Oracle of Emanations deck. I’ve said before that I’m not a big fan of angel decks, but I did end up ordering this one because the angels… well, don’t look like traditional angels. I like the artwork, and I’ve actually pre-ordered the sequel (Angelarium: Oracle of Watchers) which I plan on combining with this deck to make into a single larger deck.

The only thing I did with this deck is edge it in black. Interestingly, something about the card stock made the black turn a shade of dark, dark blue which I really like. I decided to only do one coat specifically to preserve this blue hue.

Angels_Ancestors

The Angels and Ancestors is another deck with angels in it, and yet they also are not the traditional iteration of the concept.Β  They actually give me an impression more of spirit guides than angels, which along with the artwork and color scheme, made this deck easy for me to bond with.

For this deck, I got the idea for the edging from Boho Tarot.Β  I liked what she did with her deck and modified it a bit for my own tastes.Β Β  I first edged in yellow marker before using Distress Ink’s Tea Dye shade as a finger-rub along the edges for an uneven, aged look.Β  I then used gold ink in the same finger-rub method to give a hint of sheen.

Arcana

The Arcana deck by Dead On Paper.Β Β  I looked and looked for this deck for quite a while after I stumbled upon a random image of one of its major arcana cards.Β  I couldn’t find it and was so frustrated.Β  Then I saw it on BoyDiviner’s YouTube and he was kind enough to provide me with the name of the deck and publisher.Β  From there I immediately ended up purchasing the deck and I’m really glad I did.Β Β  The card stock is SO nice, the size is standard playing card size (as opposed to standard tarot size).Β Β  The deck is structured so that it can be used as either a tarot deck or a playing card deck.Β Β  I love it.

The cards aren’t black but actually a really deep, dark brown with a hint of distressed texture.Β  So, what I did was I edged them in black.Β Β  I then used the finger-rub method to add bronze marker ink to the edges.

Badgers_Forest

The Badger’s Forest Tarot was a bit of a debate for me when I first got it, to be honest.Β  I have absolutely no fondness for the thick brown border on the backs of the cards.Β  At all.Β Β  But, the deck is borderless on the face of the cards, which means if I wanted to remove the brown border, I’d have had to cut into the artwork… and I just wasn’t willing to do that.

So… I decided to live with the brown borders on the backs.Β  I don’t do a lot of face-down spreads, as I prefer to set my cards down face up and get my initial impressions as they are laid into place, so it’s not a huge sacrifice.

For modification,Β  edged the card in brown, taking a good deal of care to ensure that I didn’t pollute the artwork on the front of the cards with the ink. I then did a finger-rub with bronze marker ink.

Dreaming_Way

The Dreaming Way Tarot, I edged in a combination of greens.Β  This included green Midliner marker overlayed with yellow PrismaColor marker, as well as three different shades of Distress Ink (Bundled Sage, Shabby Shutters, and Old Paper).Β Β  Essentially, I shuffled the deck, and then split the deck into four equal sections and colored each section with a different shade.

Faery_Forest

The Faery Forest Oracle is the oracle that I pair my WildWood Tarot deck with when doing intricate spreads (such as the year in view spread).Β  You can see the swaddle (cotton cloth) that I use to store the deck in within the background of the photos.Β  That fabric is the same fabric that I use to swaddle the WildWood deck. For me, the two decks just… go together.

I edged this deck in PrismaColor green marker.

WildWood

As you can see above, I also edged my WildWood Tarot in PrismaColor green marker.Β  I did this with intention, because like the swaddling of the Faery Forest Oracle, I wanted the colors to match each other.

Before edging this deck, I trimmed it.Β  The white borders on this specific deck of cards really bothered me.Β  It felt like the artwork and message of the cards was “trapped” inside a cage.Β Β Β  Freeing this deck from its borders makes it feel far more open and has made it far easier for me to read intuitively.

At the same time, I didn’t want to remove the titles, because I -do- use the guide book with this deck and sometimes need a little help identifying the cards due to their nontraditional depictions. By leaving on the titles, it made the design on the back a bit off-center.Β Β  Although this niggles at my anal-retentive side, it was the most practical option, and I can live with it.

Familiars_Tarot

The Tarot Familiars just felt unfinished.Β  Black backs, dark fronts… white edges.Β Β  It just didn’t jive for me.Β  I had initially wanted to edge the cards in colors to match the dark hues used in the borders on the fronts of the cards, but I found it impossible to find inks that were a good match, so I ended up edging the deck in black marker instead.

Godard_Bird_Spirit

Godard’s Bird Spirit Tarot (sorry, I don’t have a link for this one) is a deck that I don’t really see passed around a lot in the tarot community.Β  That said?Β  I love the deck.Β  I think the artwork has a sweet depth to it and the cards have vibrancy to them without being overpowering.

I simply edged this deck in black to finish it off, because like the Familiars Tarot, it felt unfinished with black borders on both the fronts and backs, but white edges that were raw and unfinished.

Kuan_Yin

The Kuan Yin Oracle is one of the decks that I recently wrote about in Part 1 of my response to Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot.Β  I really like the softness of this deck, but it felt unfinished in the way some of my other decks that I’ve edged did.Β Β  The card faces have borders in a variety of different shades, and although I considered cutting them off, I ended up using them as a guide to color the edges in matching hues.

In the picture above, you can see the hues all in order, and then on the far left you can see what the deck looks like shuffled.

Mystical_Shaman

The Mystical Shaman Oracle was given to me by you just recently for our anniversary, and you’ve already seen a few pics of the finished work, because I was doing it while we were talking.

I edged each side of this deck in a different PrismaColor marker to match shades of color off the card backs (green, yellow, red, brown).Β Β  Once edged in marker, I then applied bronze Sharpie ink with the finger-rub method before repeating the process with Distress Ink in black in a fade from the corners.

Oracle_Echoes

The Oracle of Echoes came into my collection recently and also felt unfinished with the plain white edges.Β Β  This deck also comes with a PDF “little white book” rather than a printed one.Β  I ended up printing out the PDF and making it into a book.Β  I might make a post about that later at some point, as it was my first experience in making a book.

I debated between whether I wanted to edge this deck in black, or edge it in red and then antique it with black ink.Β Β  I ended up going with edging it in black because I felt the deck’s artwork (back and front) was busy enough and that the red might end up distracting from the artwork.

Pagan_Otherworlds

This is turning out to be a monster post, yeah?

Next is the Pagan Otherwords Tarot.Β  This one, you can barely tell the edging even in person.Β Β  I edged the deck in the gold colored Brilliance DewDrop, but I kind of feel like it’s too light or… not opaque enough.

I might end up trying again with a gold Sharpie.Β  I would really like to get to a shade and texture of colors that better matches the antiqued gold look on the inside of the box.

Sacred_Geometry01

Maria Rikteryte’s Sacred Geometry Cards are a deck that I really debated on whether I wanted to trim or not.Β Β  I originally bought these with the intention to do just that.Β Β  I bought them to combine with the Cosmic Cards deck by Amaya Ajay, which would have involved trimming this deck to match the size of the Cosmic Cards.

Sacred_Geometry02The problem was… these cards are really huge.Β  I mean REALLY huge. (I’ve included a picture of one of the cards set beside a standard tarot sized card so that you can see what I mean.)Β  They’re bigger than I thought they would be, even though I looked at the size before buying them.Β Β  Trimming them down to match the size of the Cosmic Cards wasn’t feasible.Β Β  Trimmed vertically, you would end up with a few cards with the phrases truncated on either side.Β  Trimmed horizontally, you have to sever the designs exactly in half.

So… I decided to keep them their original size.Β  At least for now.Β Β  And I edged them in orange Midliner marker followed by yellow PrismaColor marker in order to match the shade of orange in the designs on the cards.

Secret_Forest

For the Tarot of the Secret Forest, I did another edging in black.Β Β  Sometimes?Β  That’s all that’s needed to make a deck feel finished.Β Β  In this case, that was especially true.Β  Both the backs and the fronts of these cards contain artwork, and both the backs and fronts have black borders.Β  The white on the edges just didn’t look good at all, whereas in my opinion the deck now looks really nice.

Student5

Another deck that I just edged in black was the Student Tarot (I believe this is v.5).Β  I don’t have a link for this one either, unfortunately. This is another deck you don’t see very often in the tarot community.Β Β  It was a gift from my sister and is… well, cute as fuck.Β Β  It’s designed with little anime charactersΒ  on the cards and always has a very “cheerful and fun” energy whenever I use it.

Vintage_Oracle_Tarot

Third in a row!Β Β  Another black edging.Β  This is the Vintage Oracle Tarot.Β  As you can see, like the Tarot of the Secret Forest, it has a nice thick black border.Β  The white on the edge of the cards really bugs me on cards with black borders and edging the deck in black in those cases always seems to create a sense of relief… as if the white causes some sort of stress that edging them in black eases.

White_Sage

This is the White Sage Tarot, which as you can see, I edged in multiple colors.Β Β  The reason for this was because this deck has a clear intention to it as to being used with Chakras energy.Β Β  The information for Chakra associations is very clearly outlined in additional cards included in the deck as well as in the little white book, where the author specifies which Chakra each card is associated with.Β Β Β  I divided the deck into the seven chakras as per their associations in the little white book, and then used Crayola permanent marker on the edges to correspond with the Chakra colors. I then used the Brilliance DewDrop in platinum to add a bit of a finger-rub of sheen to the cards and “cool off” the colors a bit.

The last picture on the right shows how this deck looks after being shuffled.

I initially wanted to add a little colored dot to each card instead, and leave the edges white, but the card stock is so glossy that I couldn’t get any of my markers to stick.Β  The marks just rubbed right off, even after letting them dry for a bit.

WildWood_Mini

This is my Mini WildWood Tarot, which I’m pretty sure is an unauthorized publication out of China?Β Β  I’m not entirely sure where I got this deck, as I have had it for a really long time.Β  If I’m not mistaken, it was a gift.Β  I could be wrong on that.

Anyway.Β Β  I edged this deck in yellow PrismaColor marker to match the yellow on the back of the cards.Β  I considered doing it in green, as I had for my full sized WildWood mentioned above, but I didn’t want it to be a clone as the mini deck has it’s own energy and personality.

Wisdom_Seekers

Last, but certainly not least, is the Wisdom Seeker’s Tarot.Β Β  It’s funny, because I’ve noticed that people either seem to love the backs of these cards, or really dislike them.Β  There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground there.

I personally like them, which is a bit surprising, because I’m not really a big fan of “hot” colors (reds, oranges, yellows).Β Β  But for this deck?Β  The backs seem just right.

I trimmed this deck to remove the white borders that were present on both the fronts and the backs.Β  They just felt so wrong.Β  So…. I cut them off, although I ended up leaving the titles mostly because I’m a fan of precision.Β  Reading from a deck without the titles is a very intuitive process for me.Β  Sort of the difference between spilling ink over paper to create art, or instead using a pen nib to draw with.Β Β  The titles are the nib.Β  I may spill ink too, but I like having the pen handy.

After trimming, I edged this deck with orange PrismaColor marker on the horizontal edges, and yellow PrismaColor marker on the vertical edges.Β  I then used the Brilliance DewDrop in gold to do a finger rub that was heavier on the corners and lighter along the planes, causing the orange and yellow to blend a bit rather than being so stark in transition.

I’ll probably let another handful of modifications build up again before I do another post like this.Β  It just feels easier for me to post them in a group like this than to share them individually.