Sometimes Shit Falls Apart

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on how the benefits of a calm mind created by daily meditation assists in a better life.

This was a very apropos topic, considering the card that I pulled today (more on that below), but I do agree with the topic for the guided meditation today.   I have noticed that on the days where I do not manage to fit my meditation in during my morning routine, that the day seems harder, longer… and just overall a bit more stressful.

On a side note, something else I’ve noticed is that if I hit the snooze in the morning… I feel way crappier when I get up (and throughout the day) than I do if I just get my ass out of bed when the alarm goes off the first time.    I think I’m going to have to ban myself from hitting snooze, or rolling back over for more sleep when I wake up early on a day I don’t need to.

Today’s draw is the Tower card of the Major Arcana.  This is a card that is representative of sudden, abrupt, and unavoidable change.  I think that a lot of people look at this card and have an immediate “oh shit” moment, and honestly?  Me too.  Not because I think it is a bad card.  I don’t.   But, like many people, I hate the process of change.  The end result?  Probably great… usually great.  You adapt and you move on.   The process?  That shit sucks.

When I look at this card, I see that ‘oh shit’ moment.   I see the struggle, as the beavers prepare to fell the tree and the bird that called the tree home grabs what he can and makes a run for it.

What I see isn’t something I see.  It’s something I feel when I look at the card, but am unable to pick apart and explain HOW I get there.   And that is that evolution is inevitable and required.   Shit has to fall apart in order to make way for better shit to come forth.  Sometimes?  It feels like the end of the world, but like the depression that sometimes nips at my heels and at other times swallows me whole… there IS an end to the chaos, and things always fall back into balance again in the end.   The key is to ride it out, and strive to stay safe through the process.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

 

Rest and Recovery

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation…. turned into a nap.  It wasn’t intentional, but that’s how it went.  It was just a really stressful and very long day, and once I managed to stay still and quiet my mind, the sandman cracked me on the head and sent me to sleep.

Today’s draw was the Ten of Zephyrs, which is a representation of endings, restoration, and resurrection (among other more negative connotations) in the areas of intellect, the mind, logic, education, and instinct.  Some of the more negative meanings include resisting closure, painful endings, deep wounds, and betrayal.  The other side of this coin, though, is that it is also a card of recovery, healing from said wounds, and moving on.

What I saw (and see) in this card today is not a predator looking over prey, but rather that the vulture is watching over the birdboy as the boy rests and recovers from whatever has washed him out so egregiously.   It reminds me of you, and of our current situation as you watch over me and care for me while I not just recover from the drop, but work at bolstering myself for the trip coming up at the end of the month.

I know you are there.  I know you are watching.   You make me feel safe enough to let my guard down and work on myself, even with that keen gaze upon me the whole time.  For you?  Vulnerability is okay.

I love you.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

Nature Does Not Hurry

/ Twist the Leaf / 3 Comments

So every day, I have tea in the morning.  This isn’t because I’m a big tea drinker.  All the teas I drink are herbal, because I can’t handle caffeine.  And honestly?  It’s taken me a long time to even find some that I’m fond of.

Nature

That said, I have managed, over trial and error, to find a few.  One of them is a Rosehips tea by Traditional Medicinals that I like to mix with either  chamomile tea or peach tea.   In the Traditional Medicinals tea, each tea bag comes with a little quote on the tab.

Today’s quote was from Lao Tzu.  “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

Although I get what this is saying?  I disagree with the quote in a very literal way.  The fact is that it is true, nature does not hurry.  But, everything is -not- accomplished.   This is why plants die before all the buds can open at the end of the season, and there are often still new leaves just coming into being when fall and winter come to kill off the plants and make the leaves fall.

Everything does not get done.

Everything does not survive and thrive.

This quote, or perhaps how it is used in this instance, makes it seem like you can just take your time with things and everything will fall into place.  And it’s true, everything -will- fall into place.   But if you want things to fall in the place how YOU want them to?  It’s going to take more than that.  Otherwise, like late blooms and off-season buds, those things that are important to you will die off instead of flourishing.

This is not to say you don’t need to take time to slow down and breathe, time to step away and relax.   But sometimes?  The only way anything gets done is with a PUSH to get it there.

Just my two cents.

And, because I know you’ll be wondering, I drink tea every morning because I need a hot drink to mix my collagen peptides into. It’s healthier than hot chocolate.

Bringing Inner Wisdom Into Battle

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on making sure that you do not get swept up into the fray of things to the point that you forget to take a step back now and then and some time for yourself.

I think this is a good reminder, as I know that I am guilty of this.   I had a little mini-rant earlier because the message in my tea this morning was similar (although badly phrased in my opinion) and that will post later this evening, but as a general rule?   I know that I need to have some balance.

I may forget now and then.  I may need constant reminding (as is the reason so many of my card pulls and readings for myself are always pointing in that direction…. but I know it’s important.  I understand its importance.  It’s just something I struggle with regardless of that knowledge.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, and one of them is a repeat of yesterday’s card.  (This is after 7 rifle shuffles and then multiple overhand shuffles until the cards fell out.)  That is to say, I drew the Five of Flame along with the second card in the Major Arcana, the High Priestess card.

The fact that the Five of Flame came up again today, and as the topic card instead of as the “details” card, makes it clear that the cards are trying to provide me with some guidance to get to that inner strength that it spoke about in yesterday’s draw.

The “how” of thing is where the High Priestess comes into this equation, and what I see in this card is more than just the High Priestess, but also the Empress.   When I view this card today, what I see is a nurturing directed to what is unseen and beneath the shell.  The High Priestess is the one that has access to what is beneath the shell, the nurturing of the Empress energy is what is needed to be directed there.

I also see this card as a very clear indication that I need to bring one of my decks with me on my trip.   The Five of Flames again speaks to me of a time in which I need to be strong.  The High Priestess card in this case speaks of being in touch with my intuition as a part of that strength.   That by being in touch with my subconscious and intuition during the time when I need that strength, it will only make me stronger.

And so, for the first time (other than that one trip to mom earlier this year) I will, in fact, be traveling with a tarot deck, rather than just a playing card deck.  I have been considering it, but have continued to be uncertain.  I think it is time to commit to that decision and set the indecision and lack of surety aside.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

 

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

SCS

As I mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus on in the week ahead?

Earth – Ace of Pentacles – It is time to again set your eyes upon your financial and business goals. Keep your focus and clarity will come along with the manifestation of what is desired.

Air – Ten of Pentacles – Peace of mind concerning my stability and security of hearth and home as well as the business and finances. Be sure to pay attention, as some beliefs are mistaken and will need assessing for this stability and security to manifest past the mind into reality.

Water – Four of Wands – The drop will soon lift.  Enjoy the time of peace and harmony that follows, and don’t take it for granted.  Languish in its comforting warmth.

Fire – Eight of Pentacles – Reiteration of the draw for Earth. Stay focused and diligent on your goals.  Don’t get distracted by curiosity and pretty things.

Moving Away From – The Child – A time of innocence and uncertainty. Leave behind the fumbling and replace it with surety.

Heading Toward – The Witness – Acknowledge preconceptions and learn by observation and example of others.

Moral of the Story – Clarity and focus are your friend. Pay attention and examine your motives and beliefs, so that you can be sure to manifest what you really want.

Decks Used: Crow Tarot, Dixit Pack #6 Memories, Mystical Shaman Oracle

 

Messages of Empowerment

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long, and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I visited my safe space for a time.  It was very relaxing and calming.  Since I woke up with a bit of an anxiety issue this morning that has chosen to ride me for most of the day, I thought the visit to my quiet place was in order.   It helped, but I think I would have been better off going for a hike after the farm instead of coming straight home, and then meditating.

Today’s draw is the Five of Flames, which is a representation of tests and trials, struggle, strife, and conflict in the area of one’s ambitions, passions, and drive.

When I look at this card, I hear it telling me to stand up and be strong.  The hyena-boy’s fist on that bone is a clear indication to me of it being a time to feel my power.   This really goes along very well with yesterday’s Self Care Saturday spread that will post later today, and with a brief reading done by Dee and R on YouTube this morning.

As with these other readings, today’s card is a message of empowerment.  “Stand Strong and Conquer”, it says.   As I ease  from the drop, this is important to keep in mind.  I need to build myself up now to prepare for what is coming at the end of the month, as well as to prepare myself and the business for the holiday season ahead.  In both cases, I need to be feeling stable, strong, and in my element.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthSeptember prompt today from Instagram.

Question: Where am I not guarding myself enough?

Reading Summary: There was once a large and diverse family that existed with the constant threat of violence always just lingering in the eaves.  They were constantly trying to talk over each other and making lots of noise.  The only one of them that was ever happy was the one that found a way to get a bit of solitary time to rest and relax.

Take Away:  If I want to prepare for the visit out east at the end of the month, I need to work on my inner calm and find that place within where I can weather the storm without the constant bombardment of outside influences.

If I can find my inner peace and get well seated and comfortable within it, whatever abusive behavior and words are tossed my way during the week I’m away won’t make such an impact.

Deck Used: Dixit Pack #6 Memories