Gideon’s Challenge

PassionPassion…
comes in many forms.
Between sheets
skin slick with sweat.
Within a board room
voice filled with conviction.
Lying in a field
picking shapes from the clouds.
It is that inner spark,
the flicker of flame that catches hold,
and the inferno that drives us.

I am a man of many passions. They swirl around me, a fiery spark flowing through my energy like a whirlwind. Curiosity and interests abound while creativity flourishes even in the darkest of times.

For me it is passion that drives everything I do from the moment’s first spark of interest to the glimmering flame of pursuit to the full-blown inferno of commitment.  It is present in my relationships, with my work, in my play, in my spirituality.  It is an integral part of who I am.

Passion is the spark that makes life worth living.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

It’s Okay to Not Know the Answer

Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, as I got interrupted by the fire alarm going off.  Not ours, but the building one.   Everything is fine, but that loud as fuck siren definitely yanks you right out of your relaxed zen state.  It was not pleasant, although… the meditation up to that point was.

Japaridze Tarot - The HermitToday’s draw is the Hermit card, which is traditionally read as an indication of retreat into the self in order to work on personal growth and understanding, self reflection, and a need for a time of independence and introspection.

No one element stands out to me in this card today, nor does it particularly align with my understanding and interpretation of the hermit.  What I see her is abstract chaos.  Random and without rhyme or reason.  The card doesn’t speak to me at all, in fact… which is the message.   I struggled all day trying to find the elements of this card that would mean something, but it is in the confusion and the nothingness where the answer lies.

The message in today’s card is that not everything is always going to make sense, and that’s perfectly okay.  It’s okay to be confused and chaotic.  It’s okay to say “I don’t understand”.   And it’s okay to accept that something is ‘beyond your scope’ if it truly is something you are unable to grasp.

So often we feel as if we have to have all the answers and can never be wrong.  The message here is in the freedom of accepting that we are all fallible… and it’s okay to not know everything.

DECK USED:  JAPARIDZE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I better deal with crisis?

Tarot Sirene

Reading Summary:  Be kind and generous with others (Six of Pentacles), make sure to look over all of your options and make good decisions (Lovers) even when things are feeling out of control (Tower) and you will find yourself coming out the other side with things well in hand (The Star) and return to a sense of stability quickly (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  When crisis hits, I can often have the tendency to turn inward and block others out.  The Six of Pentacles is a reminder that others depend upon me and retreat into myself is not the best choice.  Instead, I need to keep a clear head so that I can observe the situation and grasp all options open to me in order to guide myself and those that depend on me back to stable ground quickly.

DECK USED:  TAROT SIRENE MARSEILLE

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Do Spread #1

Dream Raven TarotHow is the rise of summer energy manifesting in my life?
Ace of Wands – I’m being given the opportunity this summer to look at how I handle my passions, how I balance my responsibilities and my entrepreneurial drive, and how to distribute my attention to find more joy and creative pleasure in my life.  The energies this summer are there to lend themselves to finding inspired solutions that I can carry forward into the future.

How can I harness these summer energies to my purposes?
Wheel of Fortune – By focusing on staying centered and instead of allowing myself to spin out of control off on different tangents (as I recently did for about two weeks). It can be difficult to stay centered and focused when you have so much swirling around you looking for a place to land like a spiral of birds flying overhead. Stop looking up at the spiraling birds and focus on organizing my plate instead.

Where would I be best served in directing these energies over the summer?
Judgement and Ace of Cups – In finding ways to silence my inner critic in order to allow myself to return to that “dappled sunlight” exploration of the emotional growth I’ve been experiencing over the spring.

DECK USED:  DREAM RAVEN TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question
: What am I invited to meditate on/invest in today?

Fanuna's Tarot

Reading Summary:  Your committed relationship (The Lovers) needs some attention (Nine of Cups) so set aside your drive (Page of Wands) and your need to coax your finances into a more comfortable position (Page of Stones).

Take Away:  Honestly?  That breakdown above is after the fact, because the message I got from these cards when they were laid out before me was “talk to Gideon about the chaos”.   So I did.   In retrospect, I can’t find how I got that message, but it was very clear to me this morning when I first pulled them exactly what they were saying.

DECK USED:  FANUNA’S TAROT

 

Gideon’s Challenge

Spirit2Spirit…
lifts and lightens
from within
it’s ever present
yet often ignored
until the moment
it sparks
inspired
to shimmer
and shine.

I am a big supporter of the “leave nothing but footprints” mentality of visiting the forests and spending time there.   That said?  I have to admit that finding this little colorful rock hidden along a trail through the wetlands early in the spring lent me a little extra glimmer of extra spirit to my soul.

You find these rocks in the parks here a lot lately. That little lift this one gave me is their purpose. You are encouraged to pick them up and take them with you when you find one.  I chose to leave this one behind to lift another’s spirits just as it had my own.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Nicoletta Ceccoli Tarot, The Empty Cup Oracle, Yarn of Mama Shamana Oracle

Earth – Sea Battle, Mosquito, and Broom – Neither of the girls in the cards look particularly thrilled with the prospect of bloodshed and violence. The brook indicates it’s time to brush away the worries that everything is going to come crashing down in a mess of epic proportions.  Take a breath, cleanse yourself of the stress and strain that the last couple of months have piled on your chest concerning your financial stability and security.  It’s time to clear the air of that fog and distance yourself from it as best you can, even if it means stripping off that pretty blue dress (your composure) and having an emotional moment in order to do so.

Air – Drippy Ice Cream and Tangle – Don’t allow your insecurities to eat your brains. Sometimes when you allow your inner critic too much freedom, it gets everything in your head all tangled up and you end up biting a chunk out of yourself purely by accident.  That inner critic? It revels in the chaos and the insecurity that it causes.  Don’t let it push you to the point you end up secretly nibbling away at yourself while presenting that pretty facade of “everything is okay”.  There’s shit going on back there in the shadows… don’t ignore it.

Water – Tangled Rose and Cutting Board – This ties into the Air position.  Everything needs pruning now and then or else it gets unruly and chaotic.  That includes your emotions.  Make sure that you don’t let your emotions get all tangled up and invested with the inner critic’s ploy.  That mental struggle going on does not have to turn into an emotional maelstrom.

Fire – Rapunzel’s Dragon and Concentric Rings – Take some time to examine your past and how it influences how you feel about yourself and your craft.  You’re skilled and passionate about your business, but what lies behind your business is both creativity and that creative spark that drives you.  Don’t lose touch with that but instead explore it and how it has influenced you.

Waning – Lemon Gathering and “She stands up taller and breathes in deeper” – It’s time for a reality check. It’s okay to take pride in yourself, getting where you are at now took a lot of hard work and that is worth a bit of acknowledgement.  Just don’t let that pride go to your head.  Stay conscious of how you view others and grounded in your interactions with them.

Waxing – In the Boat and “while others stay fearful to open their doors” – You have someone on your side to watch your back.  Don’t allow fear to rule you.  That big bad wolf in your back pocket is there whenever you need him to keep watch so that you can feel safe and secure.

Take Away – There’s a serious need of cleansing indicated in these cards.  A cleaning away of fears and worries and hidden judgements about both myself and others.  This is a safe time to take care of this process of cleansing out those things, as you have someone in the boat with you that is eager and ready to stand guard over you and protect your back while you deal with your inner crap.

DECKS USED: NICOLETTA CECCOLI TAROT, THE EMPTY CUP ORACLE, YARN OF MAMA SHAMANA ORACLE

 

One Good Thing Begets Another

Today’s meditation was (probably) about ten minutes long.  It started out with the harp strings as normal and my piriformis stretches, but somewhere between the last position of my stretches and the end of the meditation, I seem to have dozed off and missed the last bell that signaled the end of my practice for the day.   I woke up a bit later with the harp chords silenced and my body still holding the last pose, so I couldn’t have been asleep too long, right?

Herbal Tarot - Saw Palmetto - King of CupsToday’s draw is King of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.  This often displays itself in themes dealing with emotional stability and authority, a diplomatic and yet compassionate quality directed towards others.

What stood out most strongest to me in the imagery of today’s card was the saw palmetto… and all the water.   Saw Palmetto is not really a plant that I have a lot of experience with, and so I needed to do a bit of research on this one.

Serenoa repens (aka saw palmetto) is a form of fan palm that grows in subtropical regions and is very common throughout Florida (thus why I have very little experience with it). It is a “bolstering” herb used to create strength and support, which when combined with the theme of all that water is about bolstering one’s emotional well-being and creativity.  This is because water is a representation of emotions, intuition, and creative flow.

The message in today’s card is that I need to spend more time “flexing the muscles” of my emotions and my creativity.  They go hand-in-hand whether I want them to or not, and by exploring the first, the other has the chance to become stronger as well… if I let it.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question
: What is my current relationship with food?

Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot

Reading Summary:  Tossing out the traditional card meanings entirely on this one, because they don’t connect at all with what I see in the imagery here.

So many plans bot not a lot of doing going on (first card), instead I’m still cloistered with my loved ones (second card) and looking pretty damned happy about that broken cup that is representing my bad habits picked up during lock-down (third card).  There’s hope on the horizon, though.  You’ll get there… you just have to find the missing piece that will inspire you to hope to it (forth card).

Take Away:  This is about finding the spark… the enthusiasm and motivation to get my ass in gear concerning exercise and taking better care of my body (both in exercise as well as what I’m putting into it).  Thus, my relationship with food at the moment is that I know I should be doing better, but am pretty damned content with not behaving myself.  The Star card here and the missing puzzle piece at the bottom are telling me that it’s okay… I will find that spark of motivation when the time is right.

DECK USED:  PHANTASMAGORIC THEATER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What inner injury from my childhood needs healing?

The Crystal TarotReading Summary: Mother in the center… Scarcity to the left… New vision to the right.

Queen of Wands – In this reading, this card is self explanatory in that I have often referred to my mother as the Queen of Wands. Depending on how you look at her and how she is feeling in the moment, she epitomizes the card and its interpretations no matter whether it is taken upright or reversed.

Five of Pentacles – The use of the stone here (Hemimorphite) shifts the meaning of this card away from the traditional meaning of hardship and into one of victimhood.  The card here indicates that there was a time when I felt that my mother revealing her true self to me created a sense of feeling victimized.

Ace of Swords – Although I had always been aware that my mother was ‘somewhat’ self-serving and selfish, it wasn’t until a few years ago after my father’s death that I realized just how deeply ingrained and pervasive this quality was in her life.

Take Away:  Although this wound was not from my childhood, it created a painful rift for my inner child, and damaged the trust I had in how I had perceived people and the world during my younger years.  This discordance is something I still struggle with, even as I learn to see and accept my mother’s truth while finding ways to still  incorporate her into my life.

DECK USED:  THE CRYSTAL TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question
: Draw a reminder card of something to be grateful for.

Sawyer's Path TarotReading Summary: Even when I try to overload myself too much (Ten of Wands)… some thing always steps in to make sure that I balance back out (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I struggle with my personal expectations of what I should be able to do vs what I really am capable of.  I put too much on my plate again and again.  And yet, most of the time?  Just when I’m about to crash and burn, something happens to force me to drop my plate and rearrange it or set it aside and come back to it later.  Whether that be some sort of emergency, some unreasonable demand I can’t get out of brought about by my mother, a pandemic of global proportions…. there is always something that pops up and saves me from myself.  

DECK USED:  SAWYER’S PATH TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I improve my time spent?

Simply Deep Tarot

Reading Summary: Take control and direct my time spent towards my passions (King of Wands) instead of lollygagging (Five of Coins) and then bemoaning that there’s just not enough time to go around (Three of Swords).

Side note?  Just sayin’, but the King of Wands reminds me of those old 1980’s He-Man cartoons.

Take Away:  I think that we all do this sometimes, but there are times when I can just like waste away two or three hours pretty much doing a bunch of nothing.  I mean I’m reading info, looking up images, maybe browsing through social media or whatever… and suddenly?  Three hours are just gone. Poof! Just like that.

This reading is telling me that during these times, I would be better served to direct my time and energy toward those things that inspire me, rather than just fucking around doing a bunch of nothing then whining about where the time went after the fact.

DECK USED:  SIMPLY DEEP TAROT

 

Gideon’s Challenge

SerenitySerenity…
Lives within stillness
In the silence
of a moment
In that place
Between breaths.
Sweet and still
Soft and silent
It is a caress
A kiss
A balm.

There are perfect moments in life that are perfect for no other reason than the moment of serenity they provide.   I find these moments most often when walking within nature, whether that be in the wetlands or the rainforests, the mountains, or at the beach.

These natural places are a little piece of heaven, and when in their embrace there are moments… brief and fleeting moments where life feels as if it stands still, the world holds its breath, and peace suffuses the senses with a sense of pure, exquisite perfection.

This is my serenity.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography