Tangled
Sharp
jagged teeth
and a stinging bite
Lots of knots
snarled green
don’t get too close
or you’ll pay the price
watch your step
I’m feeling mean.
Subdrop sucks. Just sayin’.
Paws Off The Mixing Bowl and Whisk
Today’s meditation was… extended into an impromptu bathtub nap. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but it happened and I woke up in cold water, so I was asleep for at least a half an hour or more. Fortunately I did not end up snorting water, and I clearly also did not drown. Both very good news. I also realized part of the reason that I don’t soak in the tub more often. It’s because I hate getting out. I absolutely love being in the water and seriously? My skin is super soft afterward… but I hate getting out.
Today’s draw is the Maker Ten (Ten of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of completion, fulfillment, and “spreading the wealth” of your accomplishments among others close to you in the areas of finance, resources, home and health, and manifestations.
The imagery in this card reminds me far more of a King of Pentacles than the Ten of Pentacles, primarily because what stands out to me in this card is that everyone appears to be bringing offerings to the Fae on the throne in the process of being crowned.
When I think of the Ten of Pentacles, I think of a more “share and share alike” atmosphere, although I see the message clearly in having changed the imagery up like this. At least the message that is there for me today, at any rate.
The message here is that I’ve made it to a good place and it’s okay to feel comfortable and fulfilled. It’s also okay to be in that place and let people do for me now and then. I don’t have to have my fingers in every pot. I’m so uncomfortable with letting other people do things for me that sometimes I forget I don’t need to take it all upon myself.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE SIDHE
#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: How does devaluing my needs harm those around me?
Reading Summary: If I’m spending so much time focusing on the distraction tactics (The Devil), then I’m not moving forward with my goals (Knight of Wands)… not even at a slow pace (Knight of Pentacles).
Take Away: Yesterday’s reading established that my method of devaluing my needs is by misdirection through use of addictions and bad habits. By doing this, I don’t just slow down my progress, but halt it entirely. When this happens it hurts more than just me, but those that depend on me to lead the charge as well as keep things stable and moving.
DECK USED: ODD HAND TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #2
Why is it so hard for me to not procrastinate on even the simplest of self-care activities?
Reading Summary: Emotional cracks in the bedrock stemming from childhood experiences create an opening for roots that dig deep (Ace of Cups Rx and Six of Pentacles). These roots give life to an apathetic lack of enthusiasm (roots in the Six of Pentacles giving life to the flowers in the Five of Cups) and a self destructive desire to turn away from those self care activities (The Hermit Rx).
Take Away: So essentially… self destructive apathy stemming from daddy issue related self loathing. I have a bit of an issue with how so much shit seems to fall back to childhood trauma and parental crap. I get it. I understand it. I fully grasp the concept that what happens in your formative years becomes a big part of your personal foundation, therefore affecting everything from personality to reactionary responses, to how we act, etc.
The thing is though? I want to feel I have more autonomy than that. I want to feel I have more control than that. I understand that the control I want in these areas can only be won through self reflection and inner healing… I guess I just wish… I dunno. I appear to be trundling my way into a round of shadow work that I just do not have the capacity to deal with right now nor in the near future.
DECK USED: EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO
Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Where can I unburden myself to support my inner fire?
Reading Summary: You’re allowed to have some time to yourself (The Hermit). Don’t worry so much (Nine of Swords) about having to babysit every move everyone makes (The Emperor). You’re fooling yourself (Eight of Swords) if you think that they can’t do it themselves without your supervision.
Take Away: I have a huge “mother hen” complex when it comes to the business and delegating work to others. Even when others are doing the work, I worry and stress and feel the need to check on the progress and the quality again and again. The cards are making it clear that this hyper-diligence is not necessary and I can let it go in preference for giving myself a bit more alone time and self care.
DECK USED: PRIDE TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes me happy?
Reading Summary: When I’m feeling self-assured in my creativity (Queen of Wands). When I take charge of collaborations with others and they run smoothly (The Chariot and Three of Pentacles). When I get new perspectives that allow for an expanded view (The Hanged Man).
There is a connection (via color) between The Hanged Man and The Chariot indicating that although I like to take charge, I find it essential for others to contribute their opinions and ideas to the task at hand.
There is also a color connection between The Chariot and the Queen of Wands indicating that I like a good deal of control and a bit of smooth sailing in my creative endeavors… not to mention success (Queen).
There’s a third color connection present between the roots of the tree in The Hanged Man and the Queen of Wands alongside The Chariot, which indicates that in my driven endeavors, I require a bit of stability.
Take Away: Success, taking charge, and true collaboration between myself and others. Both control and stability are extremely important in these matters, which extend beyond my business and into a variety of different endeavors that kindle my inner spark to flare up brightly.
DECK USED: THE STUNNING TAROT
Gideon’s Challenge
Disorientation
From darkness
into darkness
open sky
to closed in walls
light reflects
everywhere
no longer
rain splashed pavement
but reflective tiles
and spots of light
contrasting with
shadows.
Sometimes a light drown feels like this. You go from trust and beautiful flashing lights, open sky and safety to a narrow spot where everything is too much too fast too soon all at once and overwhelming. The disorientation doesn’t last… but the feeling of vulnerability it creates lingers on.
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)
These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.
The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?
Earth – The World and Balance – It’s time to put things back in balance and this is the week to do it. You need to look beyond the now and plan ahead, so it’s time to put away the desires for instant gratification and focus instead on making sure that your path into the future remains as smooth going and balanced as possible. Take some time to evaluate and restructure so that you achieve a better equilibrium.
Air – Knave of Pentacles and Awakening – Dream time is coming to an end and it’s time to firmly plant both feet on the ground once more. The dragonfly indicates change. It’s time for an awakening from the lackadaisical moments with your financial stability. These careless moments need to now come to an end as you begin to truly focus on what’s important once more. Make the concentrated effort to be mindful and start upon a path of strategy once more.
Water – Ace of Pentacles and Certainty – Re-establishing the path towards financial stability may take a bit of a tole on your emotions. In order to ease those feelings of being tossed up into the air, focus on your confidence to reach your goals and allow doubt to fall away. It is through this sense of certainty you will find comfort and ease in the newness of redirecting yourself back on track.
Fire – Queen of Wands and Wishes – Wishes are the beginning of dreams, but
without the means to achieve them. To achieve your dreams takes hard work and perseverance. Sometimes the steps you take to reach your dreams are a fast sprint, and sometimes they are slow and arduous. But with each step you take, you learn along the way and build upon your experience and know-how. This week is a time to lean into those dreams and desires, and use the experience and know how you’ve achieved to pave the way to even better things.
Waning – Whole – It’s time to start picking things apart and examining the pieces. If you leave things to rest for too long, you will find the chinks and cracks too late to actually do anything about them.
Waxing – Inventory – Taking stock is important now. As you pick things apart, make sure you are paying attention to what you have… and what is needed. Make lists and use these lists to prepare for what’s to come.
Take Away – My self care this week has a lot to say about moving into the busy season that’s to come and making sure I’ve started the process for preparing for it. I’ve already set up a schedule to put in one hour each day in the “restocking” project needed to get things ready for the holiday rush… but I’ve yet to actually put that plan into action. The cards this week say that now is the time. I need to begin preparations now so that I can do it all in small bite sized pieces rather than having it pile up and have to be done in huge time-consuming chunks later on. There is promise in these cards that I will feel better once I’ve begun and in being proactive than in procrastinating and letting things build up in the background.
DECKS USED: TAROT OF WHY, ASHELON ORACLE, EMBODY ORACLE
Hyunta… Yeah, You Heard Me
Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and one of the harp strings meditations. I had a bit of a problem getting still and staying that way. I’m not sure why I was all fidgety today, but I just really struggled with staying still. Not just in meditation either, but through my card drawing time, as well as the first hour or so once I finally sat down at the computer.
Today’s draw is the King of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances and resources, home life, health, and manifestations.
This card screams hyunta to me. You’ve worked hard and finally gotten what you so dearly have strive for and wanted, and now you’re stuck wondering… That was it? Is this it? That’s all? It’s a blend of both satisfaction, and keen disappointment. (Actually, the term originates from that post masturbation glow of having stroked one out and achieved your pleasure but then being on the other side of it you find yourself feeling like something’s missing…. but the sense of accomplishment and disappointment is very similar.)
The message here in this card for today is that goals are something to aim for, but not something to kill yourself over as you try to get hit them. Because once you get there, then you have nowhere further to go.
This is why it is so often said that life is about the journey, and not a destination.
DECK USED: NEXT WORLD TAROT
#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: How does devaluing my needs harm myself?
Reading Summary: It’s self limiting (Eight of Swords) to my ability to get a fresh start in going after my dreams (Page of Wands), taking control out of my hands so that I lose my way (The Chariot) along life’s path (The World).
Take Away: Devaluing my needs creates a cycle of destruction that is directed at my autonomy. It influences both my ability to see clearly and make good decisions concerning the direction I want to go in, as well as my ability to actually control my trajectory as a whole on my life’s path.
DECK USED: GYPSY PALACE TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Weed Out / Replace With
Weed Out – Six of Cups Rx – I need to let go of my fear that continuing in the path of allowing myself to have more rest and less burden is going to fuck up everything I’ve worked towards. This fear is irrational and is not based in reality, yet my fear of shifting away from that mentality of being overburdened equals accomplishment and getting things done is holding me back from fully embracing my new path.
Replace With – Princess of Disks Rx – Continue to work at embracing a releasing of “industry”. It’s okay to take some time for yourself, and it’s okay to enjoy that time. Own your ability to relax and acknowledge that the world isn’t going to fall apart if you’re a bit selfish with your time and attention by directing it towards the self and self care rather than the business or the greater good.
DECK USED: TABULA MUNDI IN MINIMA TAROT
Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: What am I asked to create for myself starting this week?
Reading Summary: Get your shit together (Nine of Cups) and put your thinking hat on (The High Priestess) so that you can seize the reigns (The Chariot) and get moving at going after that new vision of the same dream (Knight of Wands).
Take Away: The new vision of the same dream mentioned here is about my business, and about how I have been trying to restructure how I do things so that I’m not so overwhelmed and overburdened all the time. In order to accomplish this new version of the same dream, though, there’s still some work that needs to be done. Especially as we now head toward the end of summer and slip into the time to prep for the holiday rush.
This prepping process requires planning, but it also requires a lot of doing… and it’s that dynamic that needs to be picked up and run with this week.
DECK USED: BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is working for me right now?
Reading Summary: Taking things slow (Eight of Wands Rx) and letting my new emotional growth (Ace of Cups) have the time and space it needs to reconcile with my past and find the value in what has happened in my history (Ten of Swords).
Side Note: This is really interesting imagery for the Eight of Wands. I understand the representation in the imagery, though. The fact that sometimes? Things just move too fast.
Take Away: Although I fully accept the experiences I have been through, the new emotional depth I’m experiencing due to the growth I’ve been exploring this spring and summer has needed a bit of a reconciliation with those experiences. Because I closed all of these emotions off during those events in my past, I did not really emotionally process these things. I understand that and the cards indicating that this process is both healthy and ongoing.
DECK USED: TAROT DEL FUEGO
Gideon’s Challenge
The Plan
In nature
every little thing
has a purpose
even the tiniest of seeds
the most delicate of textures
the finest of hairs on a leaf
or faint waxiness
on a twig.
It all has a purpose
a reason
and a plan.
