Walk With Me
I want
to take a walk
with you
and together
breathe in
the fresh air
and whispered
scent of
autumn decay
that rides
upon a crisp
October breeze.
Countdown to Samhain – Part 2
I discovered this little challenge on Instagram and thought I’d give it a go. Since it’s not demanding a card pull each day, I thought it might be fun to use it for a couple of my Pagan’s Perspective posts instead of adding it to my daily rotations.
16 
Two of Imps – Make good choices using the knowledge and advice that they give me.
The Chariot – Take control of your life and steer it in the direction you want to go while allowing my ancestors to help guide me.
The Hanged Man – Make time along the way to see others perspectives and try and see my ancestors perspectives as well.
17 Off and on around this time of year some things happen. But it comes with the territory, as the veil between the spirit world and the living one is very thin at this time of year. I am rather certain I had a visitation from my father last Samhain season, and it was not a positive influence for me. I’ve made precautions this year in the hope of it not being a repeat occurrence, but I would never forbid him from visiting entirely unless it became a repetitive issue.
18 As with the answer to the tarot card question asked in part one of this series, I don’t really have a suit that I associate specifically with this time of year. I think this might be because I see the suits as elements rather than seasons. When I am required to assign seasons to the suits, the Autumn season is earth/pentacles. But that is not limited to just Samhain, but the entire Autumn/harvest season.
19 Pumpkins (obviously) and other gourds. Apples. Dried orange and lemon rinds. Dried grasses and grains. Chrysanthemums, wormwood, and thistle.
20 Listen to me… Listen to your inner knowledge… Listen to your intuition. Just listen and know.
This card is about making sure that I’m listening to my inner voice, inner knowledge, and intuition. These elements are things not based in logic or fact, and yet have the ability to guide you forward with true purpose toward your soul’s completion.
In acknowledging that my ancestors and guides speak to me through the signs and signals that my intuition and inner knowledge use to guide me, this essentially “doubles down” on the importance of making sure I’m not turning a blind eye to those messages, regardless of the fact that they come from a “less logical” source.
21 Stop judging yourself so harshly. It’s okay to be tired, it’s okay to take breaks, it’s okay to take a little time for yourself.
You work hard and do a lot for other people as well. There’s nothing wrong with taking a little time for yourself when you need it… or even when you don’t feel like you need it, but just want it.
Don’t allow your father’s voice and judgements rule your life and take away your joy, or enjoyment of the world around you.
Look at all the good you’ve done and stop judging yourself on the little things that don’t matter.
22 Yep. I used to love dressing up and going to parties with my sister. These days we don’t party all that much, but for the past few years I’ve still decorated for Halloween and handed out candy. And, as outlined in part one of this little quiz, I obviously also celebrate Samhain.
23 Every year around Samhain I watch two movies without fail. The 1968 version of the Night of the Living Dead and the 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
24 
25 I need to stop trying to close myself off emotionally from others that are just trying to help (Four of Ghosts).
I can do this by making sure I stay in contact with Gideon, and by making sure that I express my feelings to him honestly so that he can help in understanding what I’m feeling and other people’s feelings and reactions, as well as guide me in making better emotional choices.
26 Not this year. For the first time since I moved into the building I live in, I won’t be answering the door to trick or treaters this year. So… I won’t be dressing up. Altho… I might wear a pair of bunny ears to the farm in the morning when I go. Just for the hell of it.
27 The shadow aspect of myself being revealed here is my “Not enough, never enough” shadow.
This shadow rose up pretty heavy and strong last year, and I’ve noticed a slight resurgence of it this year as well. It makes it difficult to ask for help, and that is something I struggle with year round but usually becomes even more prominent during this time of year when I’m trying to get prepped for the holiday rush.
28 Take time to learn how to step away from the scarcity mindset.
This was an interesting solution to giving love to the shadow mentioned above, and yet… it also makes sense to me.
The thing is, that when I am feeling like nothing is ever enough, I’m also feeling like I can’t catch up and can’t get ahead. That scarcity is right there on my heels, nipping at me along the way. It drives he harder and pushes me to do more. But it also feeds that shadow’s feelings of inadequacy.
Therefore, if I want to give this shadow some love, easing those feelings of scarcity is a must.
29 I don’t think that I have a favorite song for the season, actually. Although… Enya maybe, as far as music in general goes. Her music always feels just right at this time of year.
30 
Intention – Page of Imps – Exploring and expanding upon my interests and curiosities. This summer, I had the intention on doing a lot of different little craft projects and inspirations.
Obstacle – Strength – The problem? Was that you can only put so much on your plate at once. I allowed myself to put myself first instead of the business, which for me is pretty huge.
Best Outcome – Six of Bats Rx – Staying put. I didn’t really advance all that much in my business over the spring and summer months. My heart just wasn’t into it and I was far too focused on my own self care and life stable and balanced. As a result, there was very little progress and very little change. Which honestly? Isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because it didn’t damage my business or cause a backslide and/or loss as a result.
31 
Letting Go of Apathy
Today’s meditation was…. yes, yes. It was skipped again. I’m playing catch up from taking a few days off and… well, it’s an excuse to be honest. I just didn’t do it. Tonight perhaps, or tomorrow is a new day. But I didn’t fit it into my morning.
Today’s draw is the Five of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, struggles, and hardships in the area of one’s finances, resources, health, home, or manifestations.
I definitely see the struggle and hardship in this card. What I do not see that is often present in the standard Five of Coins (RWS, of course) is the representation of salvation… of help that is either being missed or ignored. There are just children in tattered clothes and no shoes, clearly needy and alone.
The message here is about paying attention. If these children were adults on today’s city streets? We wouldn’t even see them. Hell, most probably wouldn’t even see them if they were children. We’ve become so jaded and, in some cases, frustrated by the trials and tribulations of others that so many these days don’t even -see- the poor and the homeless, the distressed or those in need. They just aren’t there… even when they are standing right in front of you begging for their lives.
The message here is about paying attention, and making sure that your eyes and heart are open. You can’t save the world, but sometimes even just a smile or a dime is enough to make someone’s life worth living another day. Apathy kills the heart, let your heart breathe and grow by kicking apathy to the curb.
DECK USED: MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Write something free form inspired by the cards.
Nine of Pentacles – There was once a rich old man who lived in a house all alone. He was very rich, and very lonely. Each day he sat on his balcony at the end of another long day and watched the sun set.
One day, a bird landed on the railing of his balcony. He watched the bird, and the bird appeared to watch him. They sat in silence together and watched the sun set that evening, and then the bird came back again the next day, and the next after that.
Over time, he began starting up a conversation with the bird. He would tell the bird about his loneliness and discontent, and the bird would sit silently and listen. They would then watch the sunset before the rustle of feathers would indicate the departure of the bird into the night.
One day, the bird came, but was acting strangely. The bird would not settle and seemed to be having trouble with its balance. The old man got up from his balcony chair to take a closer look, and discovered that the bird had somehow lost its eyes. Where once there had been deep brown, watchful eyes, now there was nothing but empty sockets.
Seven of Cups – The man felt bad for the bird, and thought perhaps it would be best to put the bird out of its misery. He carefully picked the bird up and brought it inside, intent on snapping its neck and burying it in the garden. But, throughout the night, he found that he couldn’t do it. He thought about keeping it as a pet, but this also felt wrong as the bird had always been wild.
Finally he was so mixed up in the choices before him that he couldn’t decide what to do. In his distress, he asked the bird “What should I do??” and surprisingly, the bird answered him.
The bird told him that it wanted to make a trade. That if the old man was wiling to give the bird one of his own eyes, then the bird would be able to see again and would be greatly rewarded for his sacrifice. But, without eyes, the bird told him, that it would surely die either by flying into a tree or being prey to other forest creatures.
The man thought on this long and hard, considering what the bird had said, as well as what a good friend the bird had been to him for so long, coming each day to see the sunset. If he gave up one of his eyes, he could still enjoy the sunset, and the bird would be able to as well. It was a great sacrifice, but he didn’t want to go back to being so utterly alone.
In the end, he chose to sacrifice his eye to give the bird back its sight. He remained still and silent as he allowed the bird to pluck out his eye and swallow it down. His howls of pain were great, but when he settled and was able to take a breath once more, he opened his one good eye to find a beautiful woman before him. She had only one eye.. an eye the exact same shade as his own, and her smile was radiant. Her raven like hair was beautiful, like the wings of the bird that had been by his side each evening for so long, and her touch as she tended to him gentle.
Nine of Cups – The beautiful woman patched him up and then helped to guide him out to the balcony once more, and together they sat to watch the sunset, the man’s heart finally at peace with his life and the company he keeps.
DECK USED: RITUAL ABUSE TAROT
#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How should I embrace my missed message?
Reading Summary: Don’t close your eyes (Far Left Card) and ignore what’s happening (Center Left Card)… Keep your eyes open and aware (Center Right Card). It might be a little scary sometimes, but you need to be aware of what’s going on (Far Right Card).
Take Away: This is about embracing messages from my spirit guides and acknowledging where they’re coming from… not specifically about the missed message from the other day. It’s funny, because just before I pulled these cards I was thinking that we were beating that poor missed message to death, and then what comes up is not about that missed message at all but about paying attention.
And it’s true. Some of the whole spirit guides stuff is a bit scary sometimes. But as the cards say, that doesn’t mean close my eyes and pretend it’s not happening. It’s time to be open and aware instead of playing pretend that they’re not there, as I have in the past.
DECK USED: NICOLETTA CICCOLI TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I need when I meditate?
Reading Summary: A quiet place (Imagery in the Ten of Pentacles), with my intuition and inner knowledge (The High Priestess). And for everybody to just take a hike (Imagery in the Three of Wands Rx ) leave me alone for a bit (Imagery in the The Chariot).
This reading leaned deeply into the imagery of the cards and had very little to do with the actual card names. I didn’t even realize the card names (or that they might fit the reading) until after I’d already taken down my summary notes.
Take Away: Essentially, I need to be left alone so that I can meditate in peace, and to combine that peace and quiet that that time alone provides me with getting in touch with my deeper self and subconscious. If I can’t sink into that deeper self, I can’t meditate because every little single noise or sensation will distract me again and again.
DECK USED: GHOSTS & SPIRITS TAROT
Gideon’s Challenge
That Itch
Why
does it always
seem
that the itch
I want to scratch
is just
out of reach
when
I’m wanting
to scratch it
so damned bad?
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Morning Bonus Read – Trick Or Treat Halloween Spread
Because I am trying to show a bit more of my decks this month, as I have a whole LOT of October/Halloween/Samhain decks, I’m doing a few extra bonus reads over the month. This is one of those extra readings.
Card To Represent Something That Is Tricking Me
The Last Judgement and The Devil
These cards are a reminder that my values and self worth have absolutely nothing to do with my control (or the lack thereof) over my addictions. It’s like equating your self worth with the cleanliness of your home or the color of your shoes. They have nothing to do with each other, but sometimes we (as humans) get all these things mixed up in our head and emotions.
How I’m Being Fooled By This
Page of Cups
This tendency to equate one’s self worth with how we feel about a flaw or issue that we’re currently involved in is a sign of emotional immaturity. This isn’t a huge surprise, as I have spent a good portion of my life burying my emotions and muffling them behind thick walls. Now that I’m opening up to them more fully and willingly, little stumbling blocks like these are bound to crop up.
How Can I Gain a Clear Perspective and Stop Being Tricked?
The Sun
Allow yourself to have some fun. You’re not hurting anyone, not even yourself. So there’s no harm in it. That in itself rouses a bit of guilt, although that has more to do with being raised that fun is a waste of time. I know this is not to be the case, and The Sun card here in this spread indicates I need to remember to embrace my fun rather than allowing the past to influence me into shying away from it.
Card To Represent a Treat In My Life
Queen of Cups
Being able to better connect with and understand people on an emotional level than I have in the past. I’ve noticed this a few times recently in speaking with others and how I relate to them. What I used to see as my empathy for others I have now come to realize was far more logic based thane emotion based.
A Way That I Can Fully Embrace This Treat
Knave of Wands
Continue to make the exploration of emotional growth a priority and pour my interest and attention into it. This might be difficult during the holiday rush that is quickly approaching. But, ten weeks from now, that chaotic time will come to an end, and I’ll be able to delve back into that exploration with both feet.
Something I Don’t Yet Understand About This Treat
Six of Coins
It’s going to change how I relate to others that are more fortunate than myself, and others that are fare less fortunate than myself. It’ll give me a new perspective on balance, and on my personal involvement with that balance. I’m not there yet, but just as I understand empathy more now than I did before, so too will this come into focus as tome goes on.
DECK USED: CARNIVAL AT THE END OF THE WORLD TAROT
Making Yourself The Outsider
Today’s meditation was skipped again today. I probably shouldn’t have, but I had so much crap to get done, plus a phone appointment with my shrink… and everything just got away with me a bit. So.. it didn’t get done. I do plan on giving it a go when I lie down to go to bed tho.
Today’s draw is the Four of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of homecomings and celebration…. and celebratory homecomings. There is a stability to this theme, and comfort as well.
There aren’t many cards in this deck I feel this way about, but I’m not really sure about the imagery for this card in this deck. What I see here feels a lot more like a Hierophant card than the Four of Wands.
That said, what really stands out to me in this card today is the four pillars and the burst of flame atop each of them. That imagery of stability and celebration then draws my eye down to the knife held in a sacrificial downward angle, which then draws my eye down to the two figures that appear to have turned to look back at the viewer.
These three points feel like levels in this card, and what I see here is more about -not- feeling welcome. It’s about feeling like an outsider. An outlier. You can see the stability and the celebration in the distance, but there are forbidding obstacles between where you now stand and that comfort hinted at in the four pillars.
The message here is to not allow issues with self worth or confidence cut you out of the places where you should belong. These negative feelings and derogatory self-narratives that make you feel like an outsider? They aren’t what others are thinking. They are only what you are thinking. Don’t project your self-worth issues on others and assume that they perceive you as you see yourself.
DECK USED: TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE
LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus, this card today will be my focus.
The collection of buildings along the cliff’s face are piled atop each other and disintegrating under the wear of time. Rocks tumble and foundations crumble.
The Five of Citadels is a reminder about upkeep.
When you do a little each day to care for the upkeep of those things that are important to you, over time these things wear well and remain in good condition, creating a long future.
If, on the other hand, you do not do that little bit of care each day, over time things deteriorate a little at a time. And soon, you find that those things you care about have fallen apart and no longer hold value.
The focus that this card prompts for me today is to make sure I’m doing the little work. One small thing a day is enough to help keep things from falling apart… whether that’s self care, or home care, or relationships…. or anything of value.
DECK USED: GRIM TAROCK
#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Where do you find meaning in your life?
Queen of Wands atop The Hierophant – Through my passion for teaching and guiding others. I have found, especially as I’ve gotten older, that I greatly enjoy guiding others to help them in finding their own unique path, and teaching them in different skills and knowledge that I’ve collected along the way in my own life. I want to help others in finding their own passions, their own interests, and their own beliefs. I love occasionally hearing when something I’ve offered up “clicks” for someone and helps them in their own journey, or just knowing that I’ve helped in some way in making their life “fit” them better in some way.
The Emperor – Having a sense of independence and control. These are things I need in my life. I require them. And, in fact, it is a need that I have built a good deal of my life around, from how I am employed to how my relationships with others work, and even in how I relate to people and the world around me.
Knight of Swords atop Ten of Pentacles – Going after my ambitions towards stability, security, and a comfortable living. I feel that this answer is as much about the “going after” as it is about the obtaining of this goal. While I feel a need for stability and structure? I also feel that need to strive for something, to push for something. This stability and security is a sort of “moving target” that constantly stimulates that need to strive for something… and at the same time manage to accomplish just enough to fulfill that constant need for security.
DECK USED: HEPHOE TAPO
#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the significance behind this missed message from yesterday?
Reading Summary: Lean on others (Three of Pentacles) instead of killing yourself trying to juggle everything on your own (Two of Pentacles). Depending on others is a choice that you have to consciously make for yourself (The Lovers)… and it will make your life better and more emotionally fulfilling in the end (Nine of Cups).
Take Away: What these cards are saying is that I need to fill my life with people that love me and want to help. By doing this, as time goes on, I will find the benefits spill over from my work and into my life at large and that even if I one day grown into a lonely old man alone in the world, I will feel emotionally fulfilled by all those past people that were a part of my life. The key here is that this is a choice. A choice you make for yourself. Letting people in is a choice that you have to start early and allow to then carry forward through the years ahead.
