Cold Solitude
Crisp air
and color washed
the world
sits frozen
in a dusting of white
so fine
it coats all in sight
and in this world
I miss you most
as it is with
the lack of color
that a feeling
of desolation
slips in to whisper
“You are alone.”
Today is the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us. Today’s spread is about the medicine within, and brought to you by Sharron Basanti of Seeds of Shakti.
1. What do I need to surrender to the ebb and flow of the waves?
Five of Cups atop Judgement – With my depression came a great deal of self loathing and hatred directed inward. This is not unusual, but it’s time to allow the energy shift of the new moon to fully release these thoughts and feelings and let them flow away. Sometimes spilled cups are not something to cry over, but a blessing. Let go of the sickness and look up.
2. In what aspect of my life can I be more fluid?
King of Cups – Gideon is the King of Cups in this reading, as he is from time to time indicated as such for me. The answer here is that I can be more open with him, more “free flowing” with my feelings.  Sometimes this is easier for me than others, but… I’m trying.
3. How can I trust my intuitive inklings without doubting myself?
Ten of Swords – Don’t fight but allow these ‘inklings’ to wash over me and speak to me. My intuition speaks to me through my body. Sometimes it is painful and uncomfortable, and it is in that discomfort when my intuition is speaking to me most strongly. The imagery in this card tells me that I need to make sure I’m paying closer attention to those physical sensations and allowing them to “light a fire under my ass” instead of just acknowledging them.
4. As I drift into dream time, what messages are seeping through the veil from the other side?
Seven of Pentacles atop The Chariot – Slow down and smell the roses. There’s no need to move fast, you can still control your direction and get where you’re going while moving at a slower and more manageable pace.
5. How can I hold space for my creativity to flourish and thrive?
Ace of Pentacles atop The High Priestess – Allow your intuition to play and have some fun with creation and manifestation. Your best ideas and creations come from this deep inner knowledge that bubbles up from within. Sometimes the brain gets in the way of that process. Try shutting the brain off and connecting to your gut instead and see where it leads you.
6. Message from the Ancestors.
Nine of Wands Rx atop Nine of Cups – Keep your defenses low and foster feelings of gratitude and positivity. Look at all you have with an appreciative eye without allowing the need to hoard or defend stir up within you and pollute the water with their poison and conflict.
Today’s meditation was just over twenty two minutes long and was the last segment of the mantra meditation series in the Oak app. I’ve discovered that while ten minutes is just a bit too short for me to really sink into my meditation, twenty two minutes is just a bit too long. It isn’t that I get restless so much as just around the twenty minute mark my mind seems decide it’s time to wander into daydream type “dozing off” musings. You know, the kind that you slide into just before falling asleep? Yeah, those.
Today’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s home life, finances, resources, health, or manifestations. This often translates into highly responsible individuals with a nurturing nature, themes to do with providing for others while listening to their needs, and being practical minded.
What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is that the Queen looks tired. Wrung out. She’s put herself out there and done what she can for others and now she needs a minute to rest and take a breath, refortify before moving forward.
When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a message about pacing yourself. The more you allow people to depend on you instead of doing for themselves? The more they will lean on you to give even more of yourself. It’s important to “teach the man to fish” for himself rather than just doing everything yourself and wearing yourself out. Self care is important, and a part of self care is making sure you are not being taken advantage of by those that are either too lazy, or to convinced of their own inadequacies, to do for themselves.
LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: In what area am I asked to plant my seeds of growth this month?
Reading Summary: Work on connecting with your spirituality and feelings of hope (The Stars), allow them to strengthen you and lift you up (Strength), and don’t allow your enthusiasm for exploration distract you from this (Knave of Wands Rx).
Take Away: Confession. As I feel better and recover from the depression, and as my enthusiasm reawakens within me, I have a habit of overfilling “my plate” with too many projects and responsibilities. A part of that is because I feel better and I want to dive in and explore new things, as well as rediscover old favorites that while I was depressed I had lost my enthusiasm for.
The cards here are a reminder that over this month while I am in recovery and finding my balance, I need to focus on setting to right my balance itself and my connections with my spirituality and inner strength instead of letting that awakening enthusiasm distract me in another direction.
#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Are there limits to human creativity?
Reading Summary: Creating boundaries is important (Seven of Rods) in finding the right life path (The Wise One) and our opportunities for growth (Ace of Pentacles).
Take Away: The only limits are those that we put upon ourselves. That is not to say that we should not put limits upon ourselves, though, but rather that each individual needs to wisely make the best choices for their own self-actualization and growth.
These boundaries and choices we make may limit us in certain ways, but this is so that we can direct that energy into other areas we deem to be more important.
I went for a waterfall hike and had a great time enjoying myself among the mossy branches and nurse logs.
Courtship Kisses
Light
reaches down
from above
like tendrils
of fingers
skimming across
tree topped
mountains
and trickling
over
low clouds
like the soft brush
of light kisses
against
sensitive flesh
Today’s meditation was just over twenty minutes long and was the ninth installment of the Mantra Meditation course that is being offered on the Oak app.
The meditation included the longest silent time so far and it was really nice right up until the last three minutes when L decided she HAD to interrupt, didn’t like my answer on where the thing was she was looking for, and immediately snarked at me in a very bitchy manner which immediately turned my own calm into an inner snarl of irritation.
So yeah. That sucked.
Today’s draw is the Knight of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s intellect, aspirations, thoughts, and communication.
I really like these two cards together and the message was so clear that it felt like there was no missing it, especially considering my experience with my sister this morning at the end of my meditation.
What these two cards today say to me is, “Go hack the shit out of this fish and get it all out, then take a deep breath and step forward into the next moment, where you can start anew.”
Why, after all, does it have to be that each day is a new day? Why wait until tomorrow. Why not start now, or in a few minutes, or in an hour?
Get out what’s frustrating you, get out those emotions that are dragging you down or irritating you or frustrating you. Work them out, through exercise or some other way. Expel them through blood or sweat or tears… or all three.
Then take a breath, and move on. Start again, and make the next time better than than the last.
The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Thinking back to a time when I passed judgement on someone else, how was that really about me?
Reading Summary: I’ve known a few people in life that have sticky fingers and seemed to see stealing not as a crime or something wrong, but justified in one way or another (Seven of Swords). I’ve watched them as they have done things like steal from others or shoplift, then just move on if everything is perfect and they’ve done nothing wrong (facial expression in The World). In my case, such an act would cause worries, anxieties, and nightmares (Nine of Swords) and I’ve always wondered how others were able to do this type of behavior and not suffer the same.
Take Away: My moral compass and ethics are very uniquely my own and no one else’s.  I understand this just as well as I understand that there are things I see no wrong in that others might consider morally corrupt, and things others see nothing wrong in that I personally view as morally corrupt. Sometimes it can be difficult to keep this in mind, though, when you see someone do something that is so far outside the realm of “okay” in your own moral compass and ethics that it seems like something that ‘should’ be universal… but isn’t.
#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best improve in the area of my greatest weakness?
Reading Summary: Walk away from (Eight of Cups) impulsivity and distraction (Knight of Wands) and focus on your emotional growth (Ace of Cups).
Take Away: I need to focus upon my emotional growth and developing my emotional intelligence instead of allowing this, that, and the other to distract me away from this pursuit.
My business, in particular, offers me a great many distractions that speak to my interests and passions, but if I allow myself to get too wrapped up in too many of them, then everything else goes out the window including my self care and seeking that growth that I’ve been working on getting in touch with and fostering for more than a year now.
I’ve prepped my day pack to head out for a hike tomorrow.
The Wild Woman
The old lady
comes to market with
curlers in her hair
and granny glasses
perched on the
very tip of her nose
She forgot her teeth
but as you pass
she will still smile
and her face folds
into a wreath
of happy wrinkles
as laughter and warmth
light her up
from within
