Morning Bonus Read – Mental Health Check In

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Mental Health Tarot Spread - Minute Lenormand

1. Card to represent my current mental health

Key – Empowered. I am feeling better and better with each day that passes, the dark shadows lifting their cloying grip from my climbing form, and I am starting to feel the light dappling over my skin. The climb has been slow, but each day I feel that I’m making it a bit higher up, and it is in my control to make it the rest of the way.

2. An emotion that’s clouding my perception of reality.

Man – Speaking of control… what is clouding my perception of reality at this time is the fact that I am too focused upon that control.  I need to remember that it’s important to let things go and allow them to move at their own pace.  Don’t push.

3a. How to improve my perception of reality.

Dog – Allow others that I love and trust to step in and help me, and make sure when I speak to my therapist next week that I am entirely honest both about what’s happened and where I am now.  I’m not upset about not having been able to get an appointment when I was in the deep darkness at the bottom of the pit, but that doesn’t mean I can just put this experience behind me and pretend it didn’t happen.  I still need to talk to her about it, even if it’s nearly at the end of that particular journey.

3b. How to gain clarity.

Mountain – Depression and the climb out of that deep dark pit is a challenge that takes time, effort, and a great deal of focus to accomplish. The depression clouds  judgement and shifts perceptions, which is a hurdle that will only lift as I get closer to the surface.  Keep climbing this particular mountain, be patient, and I’ll eventually find myself back on level ground again… and in a place of greater clarity as a result.

4. How to change circumstances around me to elevate my mood.

Child – I need to remember to savor the newness of finding the light again and the joy that comes with each new sensation as I emerge a little at a time out of the pit I’ve been lost in for so long. Take this newness as a new beginning and embrace that budding energy like a rebirth.

5. How I can be happier day-to-day.

Woman – Be kinder and more compassionate to myself and my needs.  Allow that softer side of myself more room to grow and flourish instead of muffling it and pushing it aside for the hard willed determination  to always push forward harder and harder.  Allow myself to walk a little slower and pause to smell the roses along the way.

6. How I can deepen my connection with myself.

Anchor – I need to make sure that I am grounding myself well and often. One of the key themes of the Anchor card is “mellowing out” or “settling down”, and the card in response to this question is telling me to stop worrying so damn much about where I’m going and pay more attention to where I am now.

DECK USED:  MINUTE LENORMAND

Emotional Balance

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  Yes… I know that last weekend’s Self Care Saturday specifically encouraged me to pick things up in this area, but there was just so much annoying shit going on and I couldn’t settle and do it.  I might do a short one before bed, though.

Otto Schmidt Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, creativity, intuition, and relationships. Among other things, this often translates into themes that have to do with compassion and emotional support.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is equally the swan, and that the look on the queens face looks very… clever.

These aspects remind me of the literary roleplay that Gideon and I used to do based on the Anita Blake series where we played were-swans and had a cove.  There was a particular player in the realm that wanted to come in as the queen of the swans, but we were concerned because she had a tendency to become overly emotional and allow it to screw with her roleplay as well as bleed over into screwing with other’s play and emotions.

The message here is that sometimes even those in charge have moments where their emotions are in control.  At times, this can be good and create a calm and comfortable, almost serene environment.  But only if there are checks and balances in place to make sure when emotions run  high things don’t get out of control.

When my own emotions run high?  I struggle a lot.  Today’s card, combined with the Thera-Pets card for the day, is a reminder that having an emotional moment (or hour… or day… or week) is not the end of the world.  At these times, find what anchors you (that foot the queen in the card still has on the ground) and use it to find your balance once more.

DECK USED:  OTTO SCHMIDT TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: When do I make others feel guilty, manipulated, or pressured into doing what I want them to?

Harmony Tarot

Guilty: When I am feeling discontentment in a relationship and the need is arising to re-establish or re-evaluate boundaries.  This card indicates that during these moments, I may feel tempted to use guilt to snap the other person to attention and  get things moving and the restructuring started. (Four of Summer)

Manipulated:  Times when I feel the temptation to use manipulation on others or make them feel as if I am are when I am trying to motivate people out of their moments of stagnancy and into a place of inspired movement, often by speaking to them and using what is important to them to drag them out of that stall and into action. (Dusk atop Knight of Spring)

Pressured:  When I am feeling pressure and the strain of upheaval, there are times when I can unintentionally spread that pressure and strain to others either through the projection of my energy, or through how I interact with them or the things I say. (Two of Winter)

DECK USED:  HARMONY TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my greatest weakness?

Otto Schmidt TarotReading Summary:  The Tower and the Two of Wands are connected through color scheme and through the contrast of the Empress between them.  This speaks to me of bypassing the energy and themes of the Empress in times of chaos and trouble (The Tower).  Instead of focusing on self care and nurturing energy (The Empress), I focus on finding a way to move past the chaos as soon as possible (Two of Wands) even if it is at my own detriment to do so.

Take Away:  Distancing myself from chaos is a habit that has worked for me in many ways.  The problem comes when you have to run over hot coals just to add that distance and get away from that chaos.  Then, is it better to linger in the chaos and destruction?  Or is it better to run over the hot coals?

The cards here indicate that there are times when it’s better to linger in the chaos, allow the destruction to happen around you, and focus instead upon your own self care and nurturing yourself and those around you rather than seeking out the fastest escape plan.

DECK USED:  OTTO SCHMIDT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I specifically and consciously chose to not reach out to someone in need of mental health support because I knew that I was personally not in a place in my own mental health where it would be healthy for me to do so.  Putting myself first in this manner is extremely difficult for me.

Gideon’s Challenge

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Spring FlowersThe Tag-Alongs

Vibrant colors
in a drab world
on rolling carts
waiting outside
automatic doors
to greet
and bring a smile
as they
catch the eye
as I walk by
and they call out
to me
“Take me home!”

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

It Will Pass

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IMG_9804Today’s meditation was a bit different than normal because I felt like a change.  Instead of doing the next installment of the mantra meditation from the Oak app, I did an eighteen minute meditation using the water drops music that I enjoy and just allowing myself to drift.

While doing the meditation, I used the writing on the graphic to the right to give myself a bit of focus, allowing each drop of water to be a punctuation point on the saying and draw the words a bit deeper and deeper.

Not So Mystical Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Five of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of dissatisfaction, pessimism, and the tendency to only see failure and discouragement instead of looking at the positive side of things.

What I see in the image here goes along those lines, in that what I see here is frustration caused by seeing only the struggle and trials of a situation instead of what within that situation is still salvageable.

I’ve had a long few days trying to get myself together after confronting my anxiety over the border thing and playing catch up.  The whole stress and distraction sort of took over my life for a couple of days and now I feel like I’ve fallen behind on so much. Not just blog posts, but eating healthy and taking my vitamins, a large variety of things sort of “fell off the rails” for a few days.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, the message in today’s card is that even when things feel like they’re falling apart, there’s still some good in the situation somewhere.  Take a breath and remember that this moment isn’t the end of the world, it’s just a moment of frustration and struggle.  It will pass, and you’ll still be standing at the end of it all.

DECK USED:  NOT SO MYSTICAL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What does The Universe want me to create for myself right now?

Cat-Rot Tarot 2020 Edition

 Reading Summary: Stop forcing yourself to work so damned hard (Eight of Pentacles) and create balance (Justice) by creating more happy memories with L and Z (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  Introducing balance through being kind to myself is so hard for me, but that is essentially what is being requested of me here. I need to spend more time with Z and L.  Time that isn’t saturated in work and the business, but is about just enjoying each other’s company.  The cards here indicating that by neglecting these opportunities by focusing too much on work, I am missing out on something healing and balancing.

DECK USED:  CAT-ROT TAROT 2020 EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1

Not So Mystical TarotWhat do I need to let go of to ease my mind?

Seven of Pentacles – Stop worrying so much about how long things are going to take and just allow them to develop at their own pace.  Impatience is not going to work at making things move any faster.

What do I need to let go of to lighten my heart?

Six of Wands – Remember not to concern yourself too much about other’s expectations.  It’s not their judgements that matter, it’s your own.  If you focus on making yourself happy, they’ll be happy, because you’re your harshest judge and will exceed other’s expectations just to meet those you hold for yourself anyway.

What do I need to let go of to free my creative spark?

The Empress – Ground more and be kinder to yourself. Stop putting off the self care needs that you should be focusing on and doing.  Ignoring your needs and self care will hold you back from a full recovery as you climb, slowing you down and causing you to spend less time without the enthusiasm that feeds your creative spark.

DECK USED:  NOT SO MYSTICAL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I spent nearly the whole day playing with Gideon today and it was… so fucking amazing.

Gideon’s Challenge

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Winter BridgeCold Noses

Lets go for a walk
with chilled hands
tucked together
in deep pockets
fingers tangled
as arms brush
and boots crunch
on snow and ice
while breath plumes
to mingle in the air
and eskimo kisses
turn into
something
that will warm us
even more

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Tarot of Many Doors, Earth Force Insight Cards, Morning Calm Oracle

Earth – Reader of Potions, Dance, Breath – This week needs to be about nurturing your health and finding balance through incorporation of your meditative practice and mindfulness. It’s easy to forget in the return to balance and seeking of the light, in the striving and struggle of everyday life, that your body needs love too.  Make sure that you fit in your meditation this week, get yourself out into the fresh air to enjoy the beauty and grounding comfort of nature, and give yourself the fuel and rest it craves rather than continuing bad habits.

Air – Ten of Dice, Hope, Seven Directions – Transformation and finding peace are strong motivators for you this week.  Allow yourself to stay at a slower pace, allow yourself to focus on  more than work.  In doing this you give your inner dialogue and mental health a chance to appreciate the light it’s moving towards, to savor your recovery, and enjoy more fully coming back into a place of comfort and security.

Water – Nine of Dice, Compassion, Transition – The theme of transition continues in the emotional waters of your life with a reminder to be compassionate to yourself and allow the changes that are developing to continue to flourish.  Practicing gratitude during this time can help this along, as it will bring what is positive in your life and your accomplishments along the way into focus, creating feel-good feelings that can help you in continuing in a forward trajectory.

Fire – Four of Dice, Gentle, Cycles – Slow and steady.  Make sure as you’re feeling better that you’re not piling too much on your plate at once.  Feeling better after feeling horrible for so long can make it feel like you can take in the world, but instead you need to take things slow and easy, and give yourself lots of security and stability with each step back toward “normal” you take.  Everything has it’s own time to shine and you don’t have to rush.  In fact, it’s better if you don’t.

Waning – Divine Love – Don’t dip too deeply into the spiritual connection stuff this week.  Getting to know your guides and that slow progress you’ve been making in this direction is great, but now isn’t the week to set your focus in that direction.  Avoid readings that will cast your gaze in that direction and instead just focus what’s right before you.

Waxing – Balance – Seek out where you feel imbalances taking root and work on setting them into balance this week. Finding that balance will allow you to retain your peace and obtain greater clarity.  Don’t allow yourself to sway too far one way or another, even when it feels that imbalance may be useful to you in the moment.

Take Away – The cards make it clear that this week needs to focus on the now.  Mindfulness and balance need to take priority over willfulness or other distractions.  You’re not out of the woods yet, but you’re approaching the edge of the pit.  Allow yourself time to feel good, to appreciate and enjoy feeling better.  That first kiss of sunlight is always the best.

DECKS USED:  TAROT OF MANY DOORS, EARTH FORCE INSIGHT CARDS, MORNING CALM ORACLE