Vulnerability and Trust

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and… I did it twice.  I was actually trying to fall asleep, as for some reason I was having a lot of difficulty in that area this morning.  I didn’t manage to fall asleep during either of those meditations, although they were very relaxing.  And I did eventually manage to fall asleep for a few hours some time after that.  I’m still feeling a bit sleep deprived, but much better than earlier before the nap.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is The Magician card of the major arcana, which is traditionally interpreted as (essentially) “the man with all the tools”.   The card is about confidence and resourcefulness. The Magician is about having the tools necessary to do whatever needs done, and the skill to wield them as needed along the way.

I just have to say… I love this card’s imagery.  I love the Satyr helping the little lamb to get out of the tree’s branches.  It shows both gentleness and kinship, but also strength and surety.

The lamb, specifically, caught my eye today.  And the hands of the ram.  There is kindness and capability in those hands, and an aching vulnerability in the visage of the lamb.

The message in this card is to trust in the one you know can help you.  Trust in the one that has the strength and the gentleness and the loving care to help you.

Today’s message is about trust, and about putting yourself into the caring hands of the one you trust when you are feeling vulnerable.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m struggling to maintain motivation.
Question
:  What single, small change can I introduce into my routine that would most benefit my goals moving forward?

Star Seeker Tarot

Reading Summary: Despite my fears and anxieties (Nine of Swords) , continue to make a conscious daily choice (Two of Swords) to grow and move forward (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away: Sometimes it’s not about the things we do, but the thoughts we keep. When feeling vulnerable, it can be hard to stay open and continue to advance on one’s desires and goals. Sometimes the biggest and best thing we can do is make sure we are checking in with ourselves and making sure to stay open… make sure that walls are not coming up and closing you off. The message here is about mindfulness and self awareness.  It is a small change with a huge and important impact on the long term growth you seek.

DECK USED:  STAR SEEKER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
Free Day!  Pick a spread you’ve been curious about and try it out.

The Fifth TarotWhat doubts need confronting?

I was raised to always seek perfectionism from myself.  To demand it.  Directing my energy into this idealism has become not just a habit, but a compulsion that creates self doubt concerning my skills and abilities.

What ideal needs releasing?

Let go of the expectations of what your mother could be or should be.  You want a new start and a relationship filled with love and support, but this is not who she is and it never will be.  Expecting this from her is futile.  Her heart is not open, nor is it the bud preparing to bloom… instead, it is the withered bud folding in on itself.

What do I need in order to accept my present self?

Patience, tranquility… and most of all, alone time. This isn’t about self reflection as it is about finding peace and allowing time for all that you have learned and discovered to sink in and settle into calm waters.

DECK USED:  THE FIFTH TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic: 
invest:  time // money // love // patience

Wheel of the Year Tarot

Invest TimeAce of Wands – In developing new skills and passionate pursuits. I recently ended up putting the wood burning project I’d been practicing for on the back burner. Perhaps it’s time to pull it back out and play with it a bit more. Some more exploration and experimentation is in order and could be fun.

Invest MoneyQueen of Pentacles – Literally… invest money.  Tuck some of that cash that you’re making right now away to replenish what’s been used over the past few months.

Invest LoveThe Hierophant – Sometimes being a guide to others and teacher requires applying a bit of loving understanding. In this case, I need to take time to make sure I’m investing a bit more love and kindness than is my normal into my client readings.  Someone desperately needs to hear it.

Invest PatienceQueen of Cups – In yourself and others. Compassion is important, and a part of compassion is allowing space for people and providing them with room to speak their truth. Being a good listener is an extremely important part of interacting with others.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF THE YEAR TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How can I maintain my creative flow?

Wild Unknown Tarot

Reading Summary: Give less weight to your mothers influence (Mother of Swords Rx), give more weight to Gideon’s influence (Father of Cups)… and have confidence in your hard won skills (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The crap blocks my creativity most strongly is the shrinking, constricting pain that happens in my stomach whenever my mother’s claws manage to tear a chunk out of my insides.  Your comfort… your influence… your love is the balm to that pain and those wounds.  You lift me up and remind me that I am good and capable and more than just meagerly talented but innovative and skilled in my craft.

DECK USED:  WILD UNKNOWN TAROT

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Wild Unknown Tarot, Animal Spirit Oracle, Sovereign Oracle

EarthStarfish and Visibility –  You are beautiful and capable and talented enough to both shine brightly and not be vapid. Allow those things you want to manifest to flow forward and be brought into reality.  Stand tall and proud as you show them off and allow others to see them.  Translation? It’s okay to share your shops with others and you shouldn’t be shy about showing off your work.  Doing so is not spam.

AirOtter, Vulture, Co-Creation – It’s time to clean out your mental closet and let go of the hangups that are preventing you from embracing a lighter outlook and more fun attitude.  You don’t have to be serious all the time, take some time this week to consider how you can purge some of that dour energy and replace it with joy, humor, and a little more playfulness.  You have all these qualities within you already, you just need to take out the trash in order to uncover them.

WaterOctopus and Ritual – Sometimes when emotions start to move towards overwhelming, you find yourself confused with how to deal with them. You might feel the urge reach out to those incompatible to the situation or share more than is healthy with those you shouldn’t.

(Note as well that sharing too much was a theme in yesterday’s reading concerning people spiriting off with my new ideas, and I think that the Octopus here relates to that reading as well.)

To tamp down on this temptation, make sure you are falling back on those steadfast people in your life that are dependable and have become established in your life as safe. Repetition and rote might sometimes feel stagnant and it may feel like you’re being a pain in the ass to those you care about most, but they are also safe, and when it comes to your emotions?  You need to lean into the safe and dependable.

FireUnicorn, Lamb, Compost, Genius – That inner spark within you is a precious thing and a part of what makes your soul sing.  Allow it to thrive and flourish by discarding “half baked” ideas that have no future and following through on the ones where potential lives.  You know how to tell the difference, just listen to your soul and have patience.  Those shimmering diamonds of greatness will rise to the surface… and the rest will sink.

WaningDeath – You are moving out of a time of transition and into a time of recovery as you begin to find your balance and settle into the new reality that has been given room to grow.  Your time of growth is not exactly over, but turning to a new stage where it’s time to become familiar and comfortable in your new skin, having left the old one behind.

WaxingThe Emperor and Six of Wands – Taking some autonomy and control will create admiration in others this week, which means there’s an opportunity to garner some of that praise and encouragement that you are so loathe to admit you need.  Keep in mind that the Emperor is not active, he is a passive projective.  So do your thing and tend to your own business, everything else will fall into place on its own.

Take Away – “Stay in your lane” and on track both concerning your responsibilities and concerning your support system. Focus this week on settling into your new reality on the other side of the emotional growth spurt you’ve been going through.  Your period of growth is coming to an end for the time being, but the time of adjustment still stretches out before you.  Make sure that you are prioritizing instead of compiling, all those things not worth your time are really…. not worth your time.  So don’t bother to direct your energy there.

There is a neediness represented in these cards today that needs addressing as well.  The Octopus especially, but also within the Starfish, and the Six of Wands.  Make sure that you stick to those trusted people in your inner circle to fulfill that neediness that arises this week.  Now is not the time to branch out.

DECKS USED:  THE WILD UNKNOWN TAROT, ANIMAL SPIRIT ORACLE, SOVEREIGN ORACLE

Every Day is a New Day

Today’s meditation was about fifteen minutes long and very, very relaxing.  I’d just finished soaking in the tub and went from soaking to meditation and that was apparently just the prompting I needed for a nice nap as well.   All in all, it was just an all around relaxing morning, and that included the meditation if not necessarily the yoga part as I was just a bit stiff from having skipped yesterday.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Ace of Earth (Ace of Pentacles) which is a representation of new beginnings in the area of one’s finances, health, resources, manifestations, or the physical world.  It is the beginning.. the very start.. and thus, the “seed” of the suit.

It’s interesting, but I noticed something today when pulling this card.  The graininess of the imagery in this deck really bothers me.  I know that it’s intentional, but it really bugs me a great deal lately.

That aside, what stood out to me the strongest in the imagery for today’s card was not the nettles or any other specific subject matter in the picture.  It was the green.  All that lush and vibrant green.

I also want to touch upon the representation of Nettle in this card.  Urtica dioica is a nutrient rich plant that is well known and widely used around the world for its anti-inflammatory properties and is also a mild diuretic used to flush out toxins.  In metaphysical circles it is often used in protection spells, but I have found it far more useful in spellcraft that is focused on aspects of nurturing, self worth, and respect.

The blending of the lush green that catches my eye combined with Nettle’s unique qualities send me a message concerning self care.  The message here is that it’s important to respect your body, and important to do the things that allow you to care and nurture yourself, no matter how busy you are… or how tempting it is to skip.  Each day is a new day, with a new opportunity to start over and begin again.  Take this opportunity to begin again and do better at keeping up on the self care that keeps you healthy both physically and mentally.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:
  I’m so overwhelmed.
Question: 
How can I become more intentional about which commitments I choose to undertake?

Star Seeker Tarot

Reading Summary: Do the things that bring you pleasure (Four of Wands). Make sure you regulate (Temperance) how much time you spend on others and their path (The Hierophant). Choose your battles wisely (Five of Wands) and make sure you tap in to your emotions when making your choices on what to take on (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  This is all about moderation and regulation, which makes sense why Temperance ended up in the center of these cards.   Being more intentional about what commitments I undertake means being more selective.  It means picking those things that bring you joy and letting go of the ones that feel even a little bit “too much” for the moment, or have the potential to create unneeded conflict or stress. 

DECK USED:  STAR SEEKER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:
  In My Head / In My Heart

Wild Unknown TarotIn My HeadAce of Wands – In my head there is lots and lots of inspiration going on right now for my business. Most of them are in the “half baked” stage of being thought through and not yet ready to be started or discarded.

In My HeartSeven of Swords – In my heart there is a worry of being betrayed by someone I might share these inspirations with.  I struggle with this often, that concern that my new ideas will prompt someone else to run off with them and claim them as their own. Note that the weight here isn’t on a sense of betrayal, but rather is on the worry over the possibility.

DECK USED:  WILD UNKNOWN TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:
  mourn // celebrate

Tarot of the Journey to the OrientMournAce of Swords Rx – The times when I have no new ideas.  It happens, no matter how much creative spark I have.  Sometimes?  Everything just feels “meh”. And it’s definitely a time to mourn.

CelebrateKing of Wands – Those inspirational sparks that I’ve already gotten and have followed through on, developed into fruition, and which continue to serve me well. Celebrating these things is especially important when in one of those inspiration slumps already mentioned above.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE JOURNEY TO THE ORIENT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  What does creative inspiration feel like?

Tarot Maddonni

Reading Summary:  Direction (Three of Wands) and fulfillment (Ten of Pentacles)… as long as I don’t let it get me so wrapped up (Temperance) that I close myself off to the world and others (The Hermit).

Take Away:  Creative inspiration feels like I have the world at my fingertips.  With a direction set out before me and a sense of fulfillment within, at these times there is no doubt or worry, only curiosity and discovery.  It can become a problem, though, if I close myself off to others too much during this time.  I need a touch of encouragement and feedback, no matter how much I don’t want to admit it.

DECK USED:  TAROT MADDONNI

Youthful Exuberance

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I dozed off somewhere at the end of it, although I don’t think for very long. I was just feeling super relaxed and my allergies made my eyes feel good when closed… that combination sort of snuck up on me a bit with the nap.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Hija of Fire (Page of Wands) card, which is traditionally interpreted as a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s drive, passions, interests, and inner spark.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the stuffed tiger up in the corner, and the amber sphere. The tiger speaks to me of youthful innocence and comfort. Even now in my 30’s I still can hug a stuffed animal up to my chest under my chin and find comfort in the soft fuzziness and squish in my arms.

Amber, on the other hand, is a healing stone. Not in that it heals, but in that it draws out negative energy, which then stimulates the body, mind, spirit into healing itself. Combined with the stuffed tiger, it reinforces that sense of innocence. The energy of the amber pulling out the negativity in the scene, sponging away pessimism, to leave behind youthful exuberance and innocent creativity.

The message in today’s card is a reminder to enjoy yourself. Exploration and creativity should be a fun process, not a chore. Do the things that interest you and let them carry you away into that place of positive energy and eager excitement.

DECK USED: HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:
I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question
: How can I reframe self-worth as something I possess intrinsically, rather than something I need to earn?

Wild Unknown Tarot

Reading Summary: Make a choice (The Lovers) to move away from uncertainty and self doubt (The Moon Rx) and accept that your sense of fulfillment comes from within (Ten of Pentacles).

The imagery for the Ten of Pentacles in this deck looks like a tree’s rings to me. The pentacles are clustered at the center, speaking of the value being within the core of the trunk from the beginning and remaining as a part of the inner make up rather than from anything external. The motion of the geese in the Lovers card reinforces the “moving away from” aspect of the reversed Moon.

Take Away: What keeps me from framing self worth as something intrinsic within me is my self doubt. If I can make the choices that move me away from that self doubt, I will find it easier and easier to see the worth of those “inner rings of growth” within me and their weight and strength will more easily shine brighter within my eyes.

DECK USED: WILD UNKNOWN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:
Do Spread #2
Should I make this few days off break a monthly thing (other than during the holiday rush)?

Star Seeker's TarotReading Summary: Times of stillness create new perspective (The Hanged One) which create a sense of clarity to assist me in the choices I make (The Lovers). Opening up the door to a whole new world (The World).

The color coordination between the water in the first and the sky in the second connects these two cards into a flow of energy, connecting the perspective gained in the first card into the clarity of the sky in the second. The third card is completely different in color scheme and appearance, reinforcing the “whole new world” aspect.

Take Away: Yes. Do it. It will help you view your work and your life through a different lens, and in turn give you a more positive outlook both concerning your work, as well as concerning your free time. As you are stepping forward in trying to restructure your organization of your responsibilities and into your emotional growth, this change could assist in fostering both of these things.

DECK USED: STAR SEEKER TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Question:
Mercury goes direct: release // return // retry

Psychopomp Tarot

ReleaseTen of Wands – It’s time to release the last remnants of that sense of betrayal that came with the arrival of “the letter” last fall/winter. The dregs of that pain has continued to be a block to my creative flow.

ReturnThe Magician – In releasing the pain mentioned above, I can then return to the confident creative man I’ve always been without the restraint of fear and pain holding me back. My skills and abilities can then shine bright and I will be able to apply them to my endeavors freely and without restraint.

RetryThe Sun – Finding joy in my work. This is something that has been a progression since the mess that “the letter” created. In stages I have tried and stalled out, then tried again. I will continue to work at instilling more joy into my work and appreciating my craftsmanship as well as the pleasure I take in sending my work out into the world to bring joy to others as well. I will continue to try and try again.

DECK USED: PSYCHOPOMP TAROT