Navigating the Dark

#DailyCalm with the Calm appToday’s meditation was ten minutes long and was another of the #dailycalm activities from the Calm app.  To be entirely fair, I had a hard time focusing on the topic of today’s meditation.

I think I was just so tired that I found the voice itself far too soothing.  I didn’t fall asleep, but neither was I able to focus on the topic of the day… which was about Humility. I do very much like the Thomas Moore quote that accompanied today’s meditation, though.

Moonchild TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of worries, fears, anxiety, nightmares, and insomnia.

Blades hover above her, but the figure in this card has dominance over the moon and holds it within her control.

The moon, in the tarot, is about doubt, illusion, the subconscious, and a lack of confidence… indicating that although the figure is plagued by the sharp edges of those swords, they are not something she does not have a handle on, and she will take these self doubts and lack of surety in stride instead of crumbling under its weight.

You, too, have gone through the mental health struggles, anxiety, and worries before. The depression is harsh and it gives rise to these issues when it comes to visit.  Today’s card is a reminder that you know how to deal with these issues and navigate your way out of the dark, you have only to tap into that knowledge from previous experiences and use it now.

DECK USED:  MOONCHILD TAROT

Mr Lionharts’ #TheMarchTarot Animal Guide Challenge Prompt
Questions for March 16th thru 18th

Raccoon Tarot - The MagicianMarch Animal GuideRaccoon – Teamwork and finding healthy balance between independence and community, goal-oriented, ingenuity, industriousness, cleanliness, curiosity, adaptability, and equality.

In the Raccoon Tarot (pictured to the right), the Magician embodies the spirit of the raccoon, speaking of an industrious spirit and ingenuity, as well as the intelligence to use these qualities to accomplish what one wants in life.

Moonchild TarotA desire I should feed in support of my best self?

Three of Pentacles atop Seven of Wands Rx – Allow yourself to look for peaceful solutions that connect you with others instead of trying to always “fight the good fight”.  There are ways to stay true to yourself that don’t require aggression and allow for more of a bonding relationship with those around you.

In what way could respecting my needs liberate me?

The Lovers and The Tower – Respecting my needs will allow me to find healthier and more supported transitions when things fall apart and need to be rebuilt.  There’s a great deal of rebuilding going on in your life right now on a number of different levels.  Making sure that healthy choices are being made with create a more stable foundation for that new “construction” going on in your life.

What is the first step I can take to honor my needs?

The Moon and Six of Wands – To begin to honor your needs, seek to emerge from the darkness and the fog. Right now, you need to focus on returning to the light. Let yourself be seen, and make sure that you are allowing yourself to accept praise and admiration instead of discounting it as somehow biased or otherwise inapplicable to you, your skills, or your situation.

DECK USED: MOONCHILD TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I had a bout of insomnia last night and didn’t manage to get to sleep until after 9am this morning. I did a number of self kindnesses last night from staying in bed to try and sleep, to cuddling Miss Luna and watching the sunset. None of them helped me sleep, but they were all really nice all the same.

Revitalization

#DailyCalm with the Calm appToday’s meditation was ten minutes long (yes, I actually did it!), and was a guided meditation from the Calm app.  The meditation today spoke on connecting with one’s emotions and allowing them to flow through you instead of trying to either discount them as irrelevant, push them away, or bury them.

I am absolutely guilty of this, although I’ve been working over the past few years to do this less often. I think I’m doing good at being more open to my emotions rather than burying them, although I still find myself doing the latter on occasion when I’m feeling too overwhelmed.

Everfree TarotToday’s draw is the Ace of Cups atop the Five of Wands, a combo that insisted on coming out together.  Traditionally, the Ace of Cups is a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition. The Five of Wands, on the other hand, is traditionally about conflict, tests, trials, and struggle in the area of one’s passions, intensity, drive, willpower, and determination.

In this draw, the Ace of Cups overshadows the Five of wands, speaking of the Ace of Cups being the dominant card out of the two.

Together, these cards are a reminder that I am beginning my climb out of my depression. Reconnection with my enthusiasm is needed, and that spark of motivation that has been under duress for so long needs to be rekindled and fostered to grow into something positive and satisfying.

DECK USED:  EVERFREE TAROT

The #ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt by E Roebuck-Jones
Questions for March 14th and 15th

Everfree TarotHow can I increase my intuitive abilities?

Queen of Swords and Ten of Swords – Understand that it’s time to “level up” and that you need to take this opportunity and use it strategically to further your abilities. As your intuition reawakens from the level of dormancy that the depression forces it into, nurture it in the same strategic ways you have done in the past so that it can stretch and grow.

How can I keep myself safe using my intuition?

The Lovers and Knight of Coins – Make good choices that further a solid foundation and grounded strength. Don’t rush.  Instead, take things slow and steady, and do them right the first time.

DECK USED: EVERFREE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I lost a good deal of my day today to trying to set up the new email client I’m testing out. I’ve been using Windows Live Mail forever, but just recently I got a notification that they’re changing how applications are allowed to connect to their service, and this change means that after May 30th, WLM will no longer work. I know this doesn’t sound like a self kindness, but it is because I’ve been feeling the need to procrastinate dealing with it… and if I did that, the deadline would come to pass without it being done and I’d have been screwed.  By doing it now, I’m allowing myself space and time to adjust to this new program and test it out thoroughly before I’m stuck with it for good.

What You Really Want To Be Doing

Today’s meditation was skipped.

Healing Waves TarotToday’s draw is the Tower card, which is traditionally a representation of the chaotic power of destruction, sudden changes, upheaval in one’s life, and the need to rebuild what has been torn down by these elements and factors.

Okay so hot take here, but what I see when I look at this card is… an orgasm.

Maybe it’s because today is orders day and Gideon and I had to cut our play short last night, and I’m eager to get back to the play we were doing because it was super hot and intimate… but that’s what I see.

Today’s message? Get what needs to be done finished so that you can go back to what (um… who) you -really- wanna do.

DECK USED:  HEALING WAVES TAROT

The #ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt by E Roebuck-Jones
Question for March 13th: What is blocking me right now?

Shaman's Dream OracleReading Summary: You are lost (Drifter) in a melancholy fog (Whale Song) instead of experiencing clarity and connection with the world around you (Jeweled Web).

Take Away: This has to do with the depression and the fact that you are stuck in the MDE’s pit right now.

Just remember that it won’t last forever and you will rise back to the surface again.  That clarity and connection will return, just as it has in every other MDE you’ve gone through.

DECK USED: THE SHAMAN’S DREAM ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2022 Challenge Prompt
Topic for March 13th
: Do Spread #2
Question: A check-in on how I’m going to feel about living here once the construction across the alley from my place is finished.

Healing Waves TarotReading Summary: The gray shows that the emotions on this will start out “meh” and develop into thoughts of resentment before eventually settling into something more grounded and accepting.

There is no red in the last card. The amount in the first indicates the “meh” is suppressed anger that, once out in the open (red located on the arrows), will begin to heal (lack of red in Queen of Earth).

The blue in the first card is lacking in all the others, indicating that you are going to miss being able to see the sky more than you realize, and it will be a thorn in that suppressed anger’s “paw” that only time will be able to pull out.

Take Away:  Anger and resentment, a time of adjustment, and no indication of moving to a new location. This is on track with the first time that I pulled cards on this topic, indicating that the trajectory of my feelings concerning the new building going up across the alley hasn’t changed.

DECK USED:  HEALING WAVES TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I am playing catch up with this post, and I can’t remember what I might have done as a self-kindness on this day other than I know I made sure to eat my yogurt, take my vitamins, and drink my tea with its collagen peptides in it.

Get Moving

Today’s meditation was skipped.

Twisted Circus TarotToday’s draw is the Three of Wands (same as yesterday), which is traditionally a representation of actively moving from a planning stage into action, picking a direction, and moving towards one’s goals.

Today’s imagery is far more traditional than what we received with yesterday’s card, and what I see here is a sun setting (as opposed to rising as I saw yesterday).

The resounding message that I get from the imagery in this card is “Get moving”.  It speaks of time a-wasting. The movement of the banners on the top of the staves speak of movement and motion, and the need to disrupt the stagnancy in one’s life with action.

DECK USED:  TWISTED CIRCUS TAROT

Mr Lionharts’ #TheMarchTarot Animal Guide Challenge Prompt
Questions for March 13th thru 15th

Animal Tarot - Renewal CardMarch Animal GuideRaccoon – Teamwork and finding healthy balance between independence and community, goal-oriented, ingenuity, industriousness, cleanliness, curiosity, adaptability, and equality.

In this card from the D Virtue’s Animal Tarot, the Raccoon takes the position of the Judgement card, which is titled “Renewal”. The quote on this card says “It’s time to get clarity about your life purpose and make changes so that you’re on the path most Divinely suited to you. Forgive what has been without judgment, and fearlessly embrace what’s to come.

Twisted Circus TarotWhere should I pay more attention to the signs {of nature}?

The Star and The Chariot – Allow the things that lift you up to carry you forward. When you enjoy something, don’t discount it, but instead use it as fuel for your soul.

This means getting more time out in nature, and while out there, allowing your enthusiasm and the things that bring you joy to “carry you away” for a while.

How could I deepen my relationship with the divine around me?

Two of Wands and The Emperor – Own your plans and the direction you want to go in. Don’t be wishy-washy about these things, but instead step into the responsibility and make a plan that you can act on.  Plan… then act.  Make a plan, detail it out.  Get things sorted.  Then act.

What help can you offer to deepen my connection with nature?

Ten of Cups and Judgement – Don’t allow “should haves” to poison your paradise. People make mistakes. Let go of the judgements that are holding you back from true happiness.

Also, allow yourself to be less responsibility oriented. It’s okay to set all that shit aside for a bit.

DECK USED: TWISTED CIRCUS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Does time with Gideon still count if it’s three days in a row?  I hope so cuz today’s play was… so amazing.

The Little Pebble

Today’s meditation was skipped.

The Nomad TarotToday’s draw is the Child of Earth (Page of Pentacles), which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, health, home, manifestations, and the physical world.

A little pebble in a sea of black. You wouldn’t think that it says that much, and yet… it speaks to me of a journey of learning and discovery, and the self doubt of those moments when something new is begun.  Sometimes, it can feel in these moments like we are all alone, fumbling in the dark.

Just as I am fumbling in the dark, struggling with manifesting what I want to accomplish, so too does the pebble fumble in the dark and feel alone in its struggles. There is a reminder here in this little pebble that even in the dark… we glow.  Brightly.  We shine… and so too do you shine, and I shine as well.  We all shine brightly, even in our moments of uncertainty and doubt.

DECK USED:  THE NOMAD TAROT

The #ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt by E Roebuck-Jones
Question for March 12th: When do I underestimate my intuitive abilities?

Ritual Clarity OracleReading Summary: In times of struggle and distress (The Knuckles), when you are feeling blocked and confused, or just plain lost in a fog (The Moon).

Take Away: During these times, you should be pausing and asking for guidance (The Planchette), and use your intuition like a road map instead of allowing yourself to become stymied in those feelings.

Instead of letting these negative emotions hold you back, a better choice here is to see these emotions as an indication to turn to your intuition to help you find your way free of the fog.

DECK USED: RITUAL CLARITY ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2022 Challenge Prompt
Questions for March 12th and 13th

The Nomad TarotHow am I doing mentally at this time?

Death and The World – Although you have been struggling with depression lately, you are now in transition to something better. It’s going to take time, but your on your way back out of the pit.

How can I improve upon where I am mentally over the week ahead?

Strength and Judgment – Hold strong against that inner narrative of judgement that is trying to keep you oppressed. You know that that inner narrative lies, so don’t buy into what it has to say.

Additional Question: In what way do these times of depression benefit me?

King of Earth atop Queen of Earth, The Hanged Man – The depression forces you to take time to ground and nurture yourself, and creates within you a stronger core by giving you a far wider scope of perspectives on both yourself and others.

DECK USED: THE NOMAD TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Like yesterday, I spent time with Gideon in play and it helped me in feeling more centered and less knotted internally.

Don’t Look Back

Today’s meditation was skipped (again).

Animism TarotToday’s draw is the Three of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of actively moving from a planning stage into action, picking a direction, and moving towards one’s goals.

In the imagery of this card, a mountain lion observes the rising sun and plots its course forward into the world.  And with the plotting done? The cat rises and flexes in preparation for the leap forward that would set things in motion for the day.

Today’s card is a reminder not to linger in that sense of “stalling out” and the negative emotions surrounding what happened with your accounts. Move forward.

DECK USED:  ANIMISM TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2022 Challenge Prompt
Questions for March 10th and 11th

Lunar OracleWhat good is ready to come into bloom in my life with the approach of spring?

La Fenice and La Crescita – A “rebirth” within your spiritual practice that will help you to become better and stronger as a result. This will kick off a period of growth for you in this area.

What can I do to encourage this arrival?

La Rinascita and Luna Calante – Begin clearing out the old so that there is room for the new to arrive. Release resistance and bring in fresh air in places were things have become stagnant and still.

DECK USED: LUNAR ORACLE

The #ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt by E Roebuck-Jones
Question for March 11th: How can I use my intuition more in guiding my life?

Animism TarotReading Summary: Stop fighting so hard and allow the connection to happen (Five of Swords atop Two of Cups). Once you are open to the support (Queen of Cups), your journey of growth can begin (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away: This is a carry over from the previous reading I did for the Tarotholics prompt.  It is further narrowing down what that reading is in reference to, which is to say, it’s about my exploring mediumship more deeply.   The cards here indicate that I need to loosen up my guard so that I can more easily connect with the guidance my intuition and guides have to offer. That once I do this, I can then truly begin to grow in this area.

DECK USED: ANIMISM TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Time with Gideon in play helped a bit in lifting my mood and loosened some of my inner knots.